Dec 08 Ladies - We're fat, we're thin, we're nearly 3 years in!!

[DeidreBarlow]

Sorry for the shocking title - couldn't think of anything else and our babies little people will be 3 in the next few months!

Kiwi, that's so sad about your sister. I'm glad she's had good care though.

I am finally better. I have been able to eat which is very nice indeed. Though morning sickness is still here but at least the stomach bug has gone.

Hope you're all well.

Oh Kiwi - I'm so sorry for your sister. So sad.

Am glad your boobs are on the road to recovery. Sure DD2 will now pile on the lbs!

We've offered on the house we saw. DH is determined that we don't pay too much and the vendors won't accept much less than £10k below the asking price and we've just offered £70k below. It ticks so many boxes that I'll be sad if we don't get it. DH isn't very flexible on it and nor are the owners, so I think think we might lose out on it, which is a shame. Ho hum.

DD1 totally mad on Happy Feet at the moment. I find it a load of worthy old clap trap. Never mind.

Sorry to hear about your sister kiwi. So sad. Glad boobs are feeling better and the TT has been snipped.

Back later.

Beans that job sounds ideal, my fingers will be crossed for your meeting tomorrow

Pleased to hear the tummy bug has passed Kayz? I hope the MS passes soon. Your sprouts are almost certainly DH's, as I know he covers all the Morrisons in Yorkshire - hope you liked them? My new bub is due in the middle of February, around the time of your wedding I think. So you can cross me off the guest list as I'll probably be a bit busy

Jolly that cake comp must have been rigged, I can't believe Kirstie won despite burning it. It wouldn't have got past the Great British Bake Off judges. I was always a bit of a failure at livestock judging as I refused to get in the pens and touch the animals - cows are too big (beef especially), pigs bite and sheep and chickens stink. I am a terrible farmers wife

Jump I feel for you, it's sounds really tough. I agree with Invis to remove a stress when there's a lot on her little shoulders, unless she sees it as a punishment. The only sensible sounding thing I read about TT in a book is that at this age, they don't understand what isn't socially acceptable or unacceptable or feel shame - so you're right, she probably doesn't care that she's soaking wet and has stinky shoes. If you do decide to persevere, then apparently it's better to see why it's not great in terms of being uncomfortable to be wet, and that she loses more play time as it takes longer for you to mop up and change her than it does to sit on the potty. Good luck with whichever course you chose

Hurrah for kitchen completion and for boozy impromptu kitchen warming Sybs

How about Colonel Gaddafish?

Kiwi so sorry to hear about your sisters MMC. What a relief that your boobs are mending?

So tired tonight, think I'll be in bed not long after DD is. I've introduced a star chart for her, to bribe encourage her to get dressed/cooperate with being dressed at the first time of asking, as she is the mistress of finding displacement activities. Day 1 has gone well (I wasn't sure if she'd get the idea of behaving everyday for a reward, we'll see) and I asked her what she'd like as a treat on Sunday if she's good all week, and she has asked to go to the playground - easy! Its all part of my evil plan to teach her to be independent by the time no 2 arrives - so far I'm working on her being able to dress herself, when asked, and also walking everywhere as I'm not getting a double buggy. What else would really make a difference when dealing with 2?

ZJ another good bribe is an extra book at bedtime, sounds simple but has a huge amount of gravity in our house.

Glad your feeling better, you can start enjoying. How exciting due Feb Woop Woop. Something to take your mind of the football season. We took the boys to Emirates to see their plaque which has now been placed on the ground outside the Armoury, very cool. Will have to put the photos of them next to it.

DD2 just standing next to me, holding my knee with a red face, saying "poo poo" and pushing out, while she snaps one off into her nappy. The force is strong in this one.

Wonder where she gets it from Beans?

DD did a 'carrot' poo this morning, and then asked if we could feed it to the horse , nice!

Oh Vaj, an extra book would work wonders here too, good idea

Hi all, greetings from the lounge of my new gaff! Feels v weird but strangely good to be here, it's pretty cosy and the kids seem happy (though I'd rather T had not moved to a big boys' bed, he smeared his new carpets and walls with sudocrem while I settled B this evening .

Was really great to see Vag last week (B flirted like mad, naturellement, think he intuits he needs to go the extra mile being a ginger and all), her boys are just great. Wish we could tempt you here Vag, you'd love it.

V of your star chart, ZJ, it's a fab idea. The equivalent here would be tying T up. Is it a gender thing, or have any people here with boys had success with reward charts? Or maybe it's just lax discipline in our household.

BEans I've been lurking and enjoying your updates. Esp the scatalogical ones.
Is there any way DH would bend on the house price? Is it your "forever' home? If so, it's maybe worth paying something nearer their asking price to get it, then you're free from the vagaries of the housing market anyway. Plus you could tell him that your income will just keep rising, as you're getting a job, and as the kids go to school childcare costs reduce, and you're able to up your hours etc. Lay it on thick if you like it!

Kiwi, sorry to hear about your sis, that is very sad, and must be v difficult for the family at the moment.

DP away for work today and tomorrow so catching up with XFactor on ITV2 with lots of wine. Probably not wise given the current sleeping issues (as B screams, T wakes up, falls out of bed, he screams and I'm hopping between the rooms with them both crying, as if in some really bad farce). Ho hum, down the hatch.

hi ladies.
glad to hear you're in your new place spot - all those other places that nearly happened for you will soon be a distant memory. What is it with sudocrem? My 2 love it in very large quantities. They also love vaseline - we still have marks on the walls from when L was about 2 and found a pot of vaseline and smeared the entire lot around upstairs, while DH thought she was playing nicely and quietly!
ZJ you don't look farmer's wifey either! Your due date is coming round quickly. Where are the weeks going? The in-laws were asking us yesterday what our christmas plans are - eek!
beans you really do have an endless supply of poo tales, don't you?
I can't really remember what I've commented on, so sorry if I've missed major events recently!
I'm feeling a little odd, I think I'm probably worse tonight as I have a headache, but I just feel soooooooooo exhausted. Is it normal to be this tired? Seriously, I always feel so sleepy, I could go to bed when the girls do (but I make myself stay up) but then even if P is only up once or twice in the night, I never ever feel refreshed or even vaguely ready to wake up in the morning. I feel like I have no motivation or desire to do anything. I never fancy sex. Even if the sun is out I have to force myself to go to the park with the girls. I'd rather sit inside. DH likes to make do stiuff with the girls and says things like "shall we go to the coast this afternoon" and I could just cry at the thought of it. If I go with them I tend to feel a bit better but don't enjoy it for long, but if I don't go with them I feel so guilty and useless for not wanting to have family time with them. I feel like I just count down the hours until their bedtime so I can finally have time to myself, but then all I do is watch TV or read so I don't know why I'm so desparate to have that time. I'm so scared I'm wishing away the days, weeks, months, and one day they'll have left home and I'll be regretting my pathetic-ness.
Sorry I didn't mean for that to spill out.
On a lighter note, the girls had a bath together this evening and were laughing their heads off, so I popped my head round to see what they were up to - they were licking each other!

btw SL hasn't been on for a while - is she ok?

and spot - just wanted to say thanks for your PND blog. I know I've said it before, but I read it with interest and find it helpful. I've never commented (it's the first blog I've ever read!) but be encouraged - it's fab.
Right, that's my 3 - I'm off to bed xxx

Oh Trace - I'm afraid I know little/nothing of depression, in which I am very lucky, but no, I don't think it's normal to feel that despairing. I'm so sorry for you. Can you speak to someone about it? What does DH think?

All ok here. Am missing you all with this radio silence - what's going on?? Have just bought DD2 some new trainers as the cruising shoes she's been wearing that used to be DD1's have really given up the ghost. I got a proper telling off in the shoe shop for her wearing her sister's old shoes, which were a size too small. Oops! And apparently far too wide. Never mind. She now has snazzy purple trainers. But damn, kids' shoes cost a lot!

I'm here (just about). Was at Mum's for 5 or 6 days and then haven't stopped since and I'm feeling pretty shattered - prepping DP's flat, then meeting FIL (DH's Dad) yesterday and then having DP's friend who lives in Cornwall to stay plus her two DDs who are 7 and 5. Most unusually for me, I feel so weary from rushing and pushing myself, I could actually just go to bed now and I NEVER feel like that. So, instead of doing that I am going to do a couple more chores and have a go on the rowing machine to see if some exercise gives me so more energy. Proper catch up later or tonight!

Oh trace I really think you need a bit more help you poor thing. Is DH aware of how unhappy you are? Much love, xx.

Beams its half term all super busy.

Its all a bit bonkers here just back from mums and am having 15 kids and mums round for a halloween party tom arvo, plus tonight i have ruddy community speedwatch meeting. No time to even breath let alone clean and decorate the house for the party oh and make goulish jelly. DId manage to do the pumpkins though so one job down 999 to go.

Back next wk. xx

Trace, my two touch tongues, truely gross. I think if you need to go to sleep super early you should. It at least gives you a chance to test out whether more sleep will help your mental health. Thanks for keeping us updated with how your feeling, makes me feel a little like we are there with you. Not sure if that helps you at all but makes me feel closer somehow.

Jam & Lady, I'm exhausted just reading what you are up to. We are trying to have a quiet week here I think poor DS2 is exhausted after last weeks trip. He had a complete melt down at violin yesterday when I said it was time to go. He apparently didn't want to leave, and made sure all in the Hague downtown area knew it. Today we stayed in all day and in the arvo he started another flap so I took him into our room for a cuddle and he fell asleep. I couldn't leave him as it was nearly 4pm so I woke him and there followed several hours of grumbling and shouting from both him & I. When poor DH who had been working from home came out of his office DS2 gave him a cuddle and told him "mummy scares me". How bad do I feel! I scare my own child. Anyhoo I'm trying my best to keep a lid on my frustration with him but so far its not going so well.

Jam I'm so looking forward to Halloween we are joining some American friends to go on a big trick or treat organised by the American school. There is a big American community around the school so lots of houses taking part. I think I'm almost as excited as the boys. It's between 6pm & 8pm so will have to make sure DS2 sleeps that day.

Hello gals,

I have finally finished jury service. It's such a relief. I found it fascinating but also v hard. Especially the deliberative bit where they LOCK you in a small room for days on end and you aren't even allowed out for lunch or fresh air and you just have to argue your view for hour after hour. They even confiscate yr mobile. I went to bed at 8pm on Saturday as I was soo tired. Then finally we got a verdict yesterday & I was foreman so got to announce it in court which was exciting even though it made several people cry. It was in most of today's papers - not hugely high profile but exciting to see it covered.

I will do a proper catch-up soon but just wanted to send Trace a huge hug. I have had moments of feeling like you describe and my approach is to force myself do get out and about and do things but I haven't had true depression so it might be very different. Tiredness I can relate to, I regularly want bed at 9pm even though I rarely get woken at night. It's hard having a job, young kids and a marriage to keep tending to. I think tiredness is normal.

Congrats on the move Spot. Glad it feels right. What have you done about nursery etc?

Hey all.
Entirely me now I'm afraid. Dad's cancer has spread from his leg to his lungs and is sadly incurable. He could have chemo, which if it worked, might give him three years. But it's vicious and horrific and might not work. If he doesn't have it, or it doesn't work, then it's 15-18 months. Am feeling totally pole-axes, although I know I'm lucky to have time with him. But I don't feel lucky. I feel gutted and fucking furious and my girls won't remember him and they SHOULD because he is a great man. And I'm so angry. And I love him and I don't know what to do.

God. Sorry.

Oh god Beans so so sorry dont know what to say. Love to you and your family.

I was about to go to bed and, Beans, I saw your message and just couldn't do so without saying I am so so sorry - sorry is so lame, isn't it? - and your mind will be all over the place at the moment but just some practical stuff -

• the chemo might actually work (and yes, I know it's vile)
• if it doesn't, or he decides not to go that route there may be drugs trials he could get on that could keep him stable for longer

• most important of all, no one can ever put a figure on these things, my love. Not even the best doctor in the world. My beautiful DH was 6 months from diagnosis to when he died. His oncologist said his cancer was bizarrely vicious and unpredictable. Conversely, DH's own mother, who was given a prognosis of 18 months with breast cancer, managed 10 years. I know it seems bleak now. But treasure every day and don't give up hope because miracles sometimes do happen, they really do.

Just seen this Beans, and wanted to post before I went to work. I am so very sorry. LadyT is right. One never knows what is round the corner. My own dear dad was dying 5 years ago when I was pregnant with T. He is still here. I am sure you must be in terrible shock as well as everything else. Am thinking of you darling and will call at a reasonable hour.

God bless and lots of love XXXX

Beans, I'm really sorry to hear about your dad and that you have to go through this.

Thinking of you xxx

So sorry to hear this Beans :(

Here before I go to work to send a huge hug to both Beans and to Trace. Take care of yourselves, much love xxx

Oh Beans. I am very sorry to hear the news about your dad. I remember hearing the same news about my mum and it was like a hand of ice grabbed my heart. If it's any comfort the last year of my mother's life (I.e the year she knew she was dying) was AMAZING. Family and friends pulled together, we had so many fun times, she had parties, she travelled, we made sure she did everything she loved. A terminal diagnosis does not have to be the end of happy times and I hope that once the shock has subsided a little, you and your family can really make the most of the time your lovely dad has left. Thinking of you. X