Sept 08- The threenagers have arrived - Advanced negotiating and crowd control skills required

[DebiTheScot]

Sorry Meglet if you wanted to start the thread with your title but I thought I'd best do it while there was still one space to post the link to this one on the last one.

Stick at it Bec, sometimes it only takes a few days to click, they need to feel wet before they figure out what to do about it.

ds2 seems to be ok with pre-schl, he asked every day between Thurs and today if he was going and was so excited to be told he was today. He was a bit unsure going in (that didn't surprise me) but I left him within a few minutes and he was full of stories when I picked him up. He's doing 2 mornings this week then going up to full days next week which I hope isn't too much for him. I'm fully expecting a meltdown week next week or the week after though.

Also he's been dry (and nappyless) since the New Year and after ds1 got upset at ds2 not having a nappy I agreed he could try at the weekend. He had had a few dry nights over Christmas but not many so I didn't expect it to work. But it has so far, he's had 4 dry nights and he hasn't even been getting up so it must have been the wearing the nappy that was making him wee at night. Won't crack open the champagne just yet but it looks like we;re almost there.

Hi all

Thanks for the replies and advice.

Have got flu I think....spent most of last night bathed in sweat (sorry if tmi) and feel like I have been run over by a truck hey ho.

Toby asked to go on the potty this morning and did a wee and his overnight pull up was dry !!!!

Not counting any chickens yet but I now know I am right and he can do it.

I had my scan yesterday to see if my Ovarian cysts had come back and there aren't any!

I told the scan woman the whole history from the first pains, being told it was diverticulitus to then being told it must be cysts and getting treated for cysts. She said as the two are so near to each other they tend to see if you have cysts first and rule that out.
It sounds like I was unlucky in that the first scan showed some minor cysts and the drs decided that must be it. Then again we were really lucky as they told me to take the implant out which then resulted in Robyn. Then after Robyn I was advised not to have the implant again so I went on the pill and we got Lucy.
I'm back on the implant now and no new cysts have grown so she thinks it could be bowel related so I have to go back to drs next week and see what they will do now!
It's a bit of a long drawn out saga but I feel like we are finally getting there

Good news debs

no accidents yet today! :)

debs Glad the doctors are investigating properly. I had my colonoscopy last year (which was fine even if the prep was a bit grim) and now I have an endoscopy in a couple of weeks. No idea what's going on with my insides but it's a relief to be on the treadmill as they're testing everything.

I'm meant to be typing up the DC's Xmas thank you's but am procrastinating.

meg make sure you have the sedation x

Toby had no accidents again today! By jove I think he may have cracked it!!!

Still feel like roadkill....not much housework/cooking/going out been done this week in casa becaroooo

yes bec. I'm going to make sure they sedate me. The flyer says they can do it with just a throat spray or sedation. I've read up on doing it without and I am not having it done while awake!

Are you feeling better yet?

I had it done last May and was dreading it.

I had the sedation and dont really remember anything and I didnt even have a sore throat afterwards!

Was munching on a custard cream with my tea about 30 mins after......

Still feel pretty rubbish...snot is now green (sorry totally TMI) and am coughing gunk up. No temp though. Just got to ride it out I think.

Toby doing really well wrt potty training...he is dry after naps and at night too!!!! (although I still put a pull up on just in case)

Think I still feel bad as I went a bit mad cleaning/ironing yesterday...house really needed doing but in hindsight probably hasnt helped me feel any better...baked some biscuits earlier and am about to make home made ham lasagne but thats it for me today

PILs for lunch tomorrow and al least I dont have to cook!

Bec cleaning, ironing and baking with 'flu - you must be mad. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Starnge child's logic. I admired M's snow boots yesterday and she said if you spit out all your food you will get smaller and then you can have my boots!!

Have met t'other woman - I was taking M over and went to the back door instead of the front.

ExH said 'this is awkward'! It wasn't except he'd been to the pub and was determined to be difficult and try and make me look as if I was.

I felt nothing but pity for her

Have still come away feeling shit as any communication with him leaves a bad taste in my mouth atm.

AIBU to tell him not to put DD1's new and expensive party dress in the tumble dryer as he'll ruin it? He was particularly abusive about that! Maybe I shouldn't have said anything but she would be gutted if it was ruined and tbh it'll take about 5 mins to dry out of it.

and breathe ......

DD1 has a friend for a sleepover and they're watching Harry Potter with popcorn, she's still not too old that I can join in

better go they've come back from the loo and they're about to find the sword!

Another woman?

You can't blame her. Manipupation and hiding his true colours is his thing IIRC.

I don't blame her - the kids have mentioned her from around the time he left the house and she's obviously put time and effort into getting to know them.

While I think it's wrong that he introduced them to her that's not her fault. I can't believe it's taken this long for him to 'admit' to her, and that was an accident.

I just feel sorry for her that she now has to put up with his rubbish, he told my friend's husband a couple of weeks ago that she was just his 'Friday night girl' who meant nothing to him. I also know he's been contacting ex girlfriends. Poor woman

Good luck bec - dn is now back on track during the day after a few days of Smarties for getting it right, and lots of 'you can do X if you go to the toilet first', but back in pull-ups at night - goodness knows how he managed to be dry for 3 months and now not, but just too many wet beds. Meanwhile A will actually use a big toilet if necessary... usually, sometimes with a lot of objection as I found out the other day when I didn't take a potty to my parents!

well so much for me hoping to totally avoid the delivery suite this time... don't get excited, just had bleeding Fri night/Sat am so family trotted up to hosp and turns out bleeding needs assessment by labour docs.
Turns out I have a raw patch near my cervix caused by pregnancy hormones... very common but bleeds just like any of the serious conditions we're supposed to be looking out for atm. So while it's likely to be the same next time, when there's any more bleeding they want me to pop in again. Joy. Is there a list somewhere of 'really annoying/painful but not actually dangerous pregnancy issues', as I swear my body is working down that list!
Was almost worth going to hospital to see A running down the corridors shouting "I'm having a baby! I'm having a baby!" - he's been watching Ice Age 3 with the mammoth giving birth... and this morning said "I love you mummy" for the first time.

aaaaw nc how cute . Sorry to hear about the pregnancy stress.

ninja YANBU for asking your XH to not tumble dry the dress. If he's the sort to chuck everything in the tumble dryer then I don't think it would be wrong to mention it to him. At least you know what his relationship status is like now. I feel sorry for my XP's girlfriend too, I doubt he's turned into a wonderful supportive partner .

Mehlet Well he did just put it in in front of me :(

NC smarties are perfect for potty training worked wonders with us!

M says I love you lots DD1 says I love you and I hate you in equal measure at the moment

Just back from a 90 min run so need to thaw out .....

ninja Sigh. He is s total twatbadger and you are well out of it, but yes, I feel sorry for her too

NC Oh, I remember many trips to the hospital when pg with toby for non serious stuff...lowered heart rate, anaemia, spd, polyhydramnios, water infection etc etc etc....really good they are looking after you though x

Toby and ds1 tell me they love me a lot, and it still melts me everytime I hear it...maybe thats why Toby tells me he loves me when he knows I am cross with him????

Toby had a couple of accidents today but it was at PILs and I decided I was going to have a rest for an hour and so dh didnt ask him if he needed the loo and.....been home for a while and he has told me twice he needed to use the potty so it may just be that he was busy and not concentrating at PILs (?)

Guy coming to try and sort out boiler on tuesday (£600) and the conservatory roof is leaking again (£?) Very fed up now

Lol at 'twatbadger'
ninja once again your dignity and self control are an inspiration to us all. YADNBU re: the dress!
DS1 has only had a couple of accidents all week, and lots and lots of telling us/taking himself. DD had two accidents between dinner and bedtime . Obv I wasn't at her but inside I'm screaming at her!

NC nearly there now! Bless your DS, what a little treasure.

bec I really hope you start loving the house soon...

I'm very excited because we need to buy new washable nappies. The nearly-5-year-old ones are falling apart and not washing well any more. If DS2 takes as long to potty train as DS1 then we'll get nearly 3 years use out of whatever we buy, so financially its more than worth it. So what's new in the world of washables?! He's a chunky monkey, so slimline would be great!

DH has gone to babysit for friends as a surprise organised for the H by the W. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when my DH turns up

carrie how exciting - I'm 3 years out of date with nappies so can't help you, but bet there are loads of threads here that will (also ukparents used to have good nappy forums )

Bec it will all seem so much better when the weather improves, it must be hard though.

You don't know the half of the twatbadgerness! I've also asked this week about 2 dates in the summer to take the kids away with friends. The first date he told me was when he'd booked a holiday (which he hadn't given me the dates for). So now I've pointed out that it's the 2nd holiday with kids (and fourth holiday altogether) that he's booked without consulting him, he now won't agree my dates for the second one

I've booked NO holidays away and wouldn't without checking with him first.

Basically (as always) I'm punished if I don't tow the line

The first holiday (that I can't go on) was going to Camp Bestival and I was put off that anyway as when I told him about it (before he'd confirmed his dates) he said 'Oh I might come with you that sounds fun'

I questioned this and he said 'it's a festival anyone can buy tickets' so I asked if he'd be in his own tent and he said 'well the tent is half mine.....'

At that point (as the kids were now listening) I said 'we'll discuss this later' and he tehn started to say 'What's the problem? Won't you let me come' and of course DD1 was then asking why I wouldn't let him come ......

It's impossible .... somehow I'm meant to do all the daytime childcare in the holdidays ('cos I work in education and am more flexible - which doesn't mean I can take al the holidays off) but not take them away grrrrrrrrrr

Sorry rant over, just tried to get up but I've been doing a 2.5 hour online revision session and my legs have seized up!!

Your XH would be so proud to know he now has his own on-line nn

Ninja twatbadger sounds just about right for your XH. He is punishing you for the marriage breakup and relying on you being the mature adult and not wanting to hurt the dc's by arguing and getting mad. Just tell him that the dates during the summer have been booked and you are taking the kids, he has done it to you so now it's your turn to enjoy time with them.

Carrie I have a bunch of washables for sale. LIttle Lambs organic size 1 and Motherease Sandys size 1. The sandys are a good genorous size. Lucy is still in them and she was 17m on Saturday.

So exH has just rung to say he has no school trousers for DD1 (I know for a fact he has as I took 2 pairs round last week - they'll be in the wash). I've said I'll put them in the shed as I'm off at 7am tomorrow and tbh I'm sick of bailing him out. I usually anticipate what's needed and have done several mercy runs to collect stuff he's forgotten. He hung up on me when I suggested he check earlier next time so I could bring it round

The other annoying thing is that this means he's only putting DD1 to bed NOW as she was there with him. FFS it's school tomorrow.........

and breathe ........

Debs the thing is how can he be punishing me when he wanted it and already had another woman lined up.

Sorry - bad weekend, lots of crying.

It doesn't make any sense but it is how it comes across. My dad was abit like that, he left mum and was cheating onher for years but he made her life hell whilst he decided what he was doing with his life. Men think the wife hasn't done their job right, hence they went off with someone else. Makes no sense to us women but men need to blame someone and even though he was wrong he can't accept it

And you know I don't think you have done wrong, you have been the mature one through it all, as I said men are stupid and can't take the blame

Oh ninja Just book the holiday for you and the dc...he has done this, what, 3 times now? Why one rule for the twatbadger and one for you??? Doesnt work like that and its time he realised it.

I think from now on I would tell him stuff on a very much need to know basis tbh

House is nice, we just have no money for all the stuff that has needed doing to rectify problems...going on holiday to northumbria this year as its all we can afford (its mine and dhs 40th this year so we were supposed to be going somewhere special ) I know I ABU as some people dont get any holidays but am starting to think this move was a bad idea....its taken all our savings and we will have to put the boiler repair on the visa card....sigh.

Am applying for p/t clerical/admin jobs atm but after 9 years as a sahm its not looking good

Debs thank you for your offer, I have a whole set of motherease nappies but they just don't work for us - I find them far too bulky between the legs and we just generally prefer the birth to potty pocket nappies rather than changing sizes and having to make sure you have a wrap and liner as well as the nappy. I know its not that complicated, but we love our bumgenius and wonderoos!