Sept 08- The threenagers have arrived - Advanced negotiating and crowd control skills required

[DebiTheScot]

Sorry Meglet if you wanted to start the thread with your title but I thought I'd best do it while there was still one space to post the link to this one on the last one.

Wow! Am v please for you...whats your secret? Re: dh - Could you get him a book on siblings? Siblings without rivalry is a good one.

Would taking legal action against the hospital help you process your feelings about what happened??? Def worth getting a legal viewpoint on that.

Feel horrid...going back to GP re: periods. I am nearly 40 fgs! I shouldnt still be going through this ferocious bullshit every 3 weeks

bookmarking.......

MRSA, dp can be like that with dd1, it is like he expects her to know exactly what to do and how to behave. I too spent years reminding him that he was 20 years older and to start acting like an adult. Do they have an activity they could do together which she would enjoy and behave for him?
Remind him as well that a new sibling is a huge shock and dc's often play up as they struggle with their feelings, didn't his older dd cry when you got pregnant?
I would ask him to restrain his anger with her and if he needs to tell her off try and distract her rather then sulk or moan about the behaviour. HTH

bookmarking....

had a good day today with a great 8 mile run in the snow and sledging with the boys.

I did a 7 mile run yesterday in the snow - it's hard work isn't it? It was in the afternoon so starting to get quite slushy.

I've madly booked myself in to a hHellrunner race later on in the year and so have to work to do to prepare for that! (It invoves wading through deep rivers ......)

DD1's rudeness is spilling into school as well. I'm hoping, though, if she hears it from all sides she'll realise that it's not just me and start to take it on board.

Twatbadger as ever is being a pain. I can't turn up unannounced at his house. I have to apy all extra childcare costs whether it's to cover my extra work or him being away on holiday am continuing with the polite letter response

MrsA respect on the sleeping! DS2 slept thru last night for the first time since Christmas. Long may it last.
I don't know anything about the legalities of c-sections etc, but would you have refused consent if they had asked you, and if not, then do you have a case to sue if they did what you'd have agreed to anyway, or would have not gone ahead with it if asked? I'm just thinking of my dSIL who had a cord prolapse and a crash c-section in under 4mins, I have no idea if the hospital asked for consent, their priority in the moment was literally life saving and I was wondering if hospitals have some sort of power to do life saving procedures without consent? I have no idea about this, just wondering. Have you made any progress with IM yet either? So sorry that the whole situation of the birth is continuing long after you have your DS in your arms :(
ninja and debi. Running miles. In the snow. You loons! But respect! And the hellrunner race...I want to hear more about that!!
ninja can you keep a record of all expenses and send the TB an invoice for his half, including your 'financial advisor' in the correspondence?!
bec hope the GP can help and

ninja So therefore TB cannot turn up unannounced at your house either then???

Thanks carrie Got an appt in a couple of weeks.

Things not going well today. Was putting DS's coat on, bent over sofa, this morning when my back went. I screamed for DP and I am officially now in agony. Think I've partially slipped a disc and am stuck on the sofa with painkillers. I can't even lift DS. DP's having to work from home, luckily DD's at nana/nursery. Can't tell you how much it hurts - labour/c-section was preferable. I'm so frustrated and the pain is scary. DS has his first jabs tomorrow - no idea what I'll do, probably get DP to take him but it's supposed to be my 8 wk check too.

carrie I take your point about your DSIL. Thing is, they called a crash cos DS's heart rate dropped. Once in theatre, it recovered and they had 10/15mins of prepping in which they could have asked for my permission. Unless I am unconcious/its a dire emergency (like cord prolapse), they must get permission otherwise legally it is assault. I'm not sure tbh what to do. I am angry at so many people. My IM, her SOM, the HB nhs midwives who were so nasty to me as my 'baby would die', the policy that made them refer me to social services just because I made informed choices about my body. They need to respect women's rights to choose even if that is not what they agree with. We've given my IM 14 days to refund us otherwise we're going to sue her. I'm reporting her to the nursing midwifery council for unprofessional conduct, plus she gave us unlabelled drugs in the HB pack - a real no no.

debs well remembered re DP's DD (she cried age 18 when we told her I was pg with DD). Good point - I will gently remind him of this.

Off to wallow in pain and self pity.

mrsa Ah, yes. slipped discs...not nice. Had one last summer. Take lots of painkillers, but DO try to move about if you can....also ice packs are good. I was told NOT to lie down and keep moving or my recovery would be longer (?)

I went to a chiropractor but cant honestly say it helped.

Oh MrsA you poor poor thing on all counts :( Really hope your back improves with the rest and painkillers.
Sounds like a good move to have given your IM a deadline. So sorry that the birth experience is continuing to move so far away from what you wanted.

Just did the school run with sledge which was fine, mostly coz DD pulled DS1 along! DS2 however was in the sling and my shoulders are killing me. It wasn't worth us getting a really really nice sling given that we've only used it half a dozen times, but on the times I do use it (DH has no problem with it and could carry the baby in it for hours without bothering) it hurts so much, although given what poor MrsA has been through today, I don't really have a right to complain! The big kids are still in the garden after the school run and have their buckets and spades and are creating snow-castles

mrsA ouch . Do you have to see a chiropractor / GP for steroids / anti-inflammatories? I've never had a slipped disk but know they're bloody painful.

Surely the IM can't just ignore you and avoid the whole thing .

I've mooching about off sick today, there's a virus trying to make me really ill but I'm hoping a day on the sofa in pj's will nip it in the bud.

carrie you have proper snow . We had a piddling cm of it, and that melted in hours.

I updated the DC's red books yesterday. As I thought, DS is taller than he is heavy (IYSWIM) and resembles a baby giraffe, whereas DD is a stout little thing. Her height just bumbles along on the 25th centile, no idea why as the only tiddler in mine and XP's family is my mum, all the other females are a bit taller than average and so are the men. I hope she grows a bit, I assumed she'll be taller than me but at this rate she'll always be short. Do you think it would be ok to stretch her a bit .

Oh MrsA hope the pain has eased a little today. Do you know of an osteopath you can see? DH's back tends to give out once a year or so and can be a lot of trouble if he doesn't get it seen to. And sorry the fallout from DS's labour is still ongoing ...but hey, did you mention a sleeping through baby? I can only dream of being the mother of a child that sleeps through. DS in our bed AGAIN at 2am this morning, despite falling asleep on his own the last three nights.

Am very impressed at all this snow running! Attempted a walk in the snow on Sunday and nearly did myself some damage. Slippy, uneven pavements and SPD do not go well together. carrie do you have quite far to walk or is it that DS2 is just a heavy little thing?

bec hope the GP can sort you out, are you looking for a referral to a gynae so they can investigate what might be causing the trouble. Have you tried any herbal remedies like Evening Primrose Oil? Or even acupuncture?

The shock of DH's announcement last week is fading and there has been lots of discussion since. Both him and his business partner are determined to keep going with it over the next few months with a view to seeing where things are in time for the lease renewal in November. Have put the feelers out for some freelance work that I can do from home, if I can get a day a week while I'm getting Maternity Allowance then I should be able to stretch out my Maternity Leave for a few months longer. I don't think DH will be bringing in nothing at all over that time, but we do have to be prepared for a very reduced income while ther rebuild the business reserves. When it's going well, it goes very well. When it's going badly...you just have to suck it up.

We had 6 cms of snow meg (sorry) and went sledding...I disgraced myself, naturally Hope you feel better soon x

Havent updated dc's red books for AGES...used to take them to every appt but they were never asked for so I dont bother anymore.

Ds1 has an appt next week re: his bottom (should be fun) and then parents evening on 28th....I HATE parents evening Its never been good news, you know?

Been cleaning all morning so am in a bad mood (cleaning does that to me) and I have a lovely afternoon of ironing to do...watching The Thick of it on dvd and trying to cheer myself up.

I need tips from you guys as Toby is starting pre school...his first day is supposed to be 20th He is doing 2 x mornings per week to begin with. The nurery leader is happy for me to stay with him (and perhaps he wont do a full session for a while) for the first few times so thats good.

He is now toilet trained (day and night!) and can usually manage his trousers and pants too. I will send him in joggers to make it easy for him. Will also send in spare clothes and pants (in case) Am also providing apple juice (he doesnt drink milk) and a banana (he doesnt like apples) Is there anything else I am forgetting????

He can: count to 10, knows most shapes and colours, can build pretty good towers (if I say so myself!) is very physically confident (perhaps too much so!) He does have some speech immaturity and it may take the staff a while to understand him (I seem to be the only one who knows what he means all the time...) He is good at colouring and likes to glue and stick.

Is there anything there they need to knoww about?

Sorry for all the questions....but pre school was a disaster for ds1 I so want to get this right for Toby.

Love love love The Thick of It!

Seems you've got it all covered bec can't think of anything else. Maybe gloves, hat, scarf etc for when they play outside? I also put a few snacks in his bag in case we go out straight after pick up. Don't forget to bring a carrier bag on pick up for all those lovely pieces of 'art' he'll be bringing home. We have to contribute fruit anyway as the budgets are so stretched at our pre-shool. Whenever I've volunteered to help out for a morning I've found that the fruit tends to be oranges, apples and pears. So sometimes I try and bring along different things like melon and nectarines (or whatever's in season).

Are there other things DS2 like's doing? Music? Being read to? TBH they'll figure out what he's into after a couple of months. A is known as the DJ at his pre-school as he loves being in charge of the stereo. All the kids shout out the songs they want him to play and he finds them on the CD.

hahaha DJ minidigi! I love The Thick Of It...have got all the series and the specials are on TV OnDemand too!

Thanks for the tips...will remember the carrier bag!

at pre-school DJ!

DD only wants to listen to Lady Gaga.

MRSA hope the back gets better soon
Carrie Maybe it is the sling which is hard to carry. IS it one you can carry him on your back with? That might be a better position

Bec - a photo of you all to put in his bag, just in case he has a wobble, so even if you're not right there he can still see you. A favourite toy that is inexpensive and can be easily replaced again. Both of these were ideas suggested by our pre school.

I would also talk through various scenarios with him, ie what to do when he needs the toilet, tell him about snack time. It may even be worth calling them now and asking for the name of his key worker, you could then slip their name into conversation.

Lol at the pre school dj.

If M is ever grumpy when I pick him up from pre school it's because he has been made to stop playing and do movement to music. He hates it with a passion, he just doesn't get it. He's not into singing and dancing at all. He will watch others but he really doesn't want to join in. Although at the nativity he done good swaying he was even in time!

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit more positive about the work situation Digi. Tis tough when you work for yourself. About 2 years ago dh's business only had enough work to keep things ticking over and it took about 6 months for the business to recover financially. It was tough and it ate up our savings, but we got through it and you all will too.

iltmimi Great ideas thanks! Ds1 has never liked movement to music either and they did country dancing in Y3 much to his horror but Toby loves it and is always dancing about

bec this all sounds like great advice. Also remember that your attitude will be picked up by him, so try as hard as you can to sound positive so its in his head that he's going to do something exciting, not something potentially terrifying. And also not to big it up too much, more of a 'here's another normal thing we do' iykwim.
debs the main problem is the crapness of the sling. Someone at the soft play this morning had an ergo . I've now borrowed my friend's stretchy wrap sling, and I'm about to look up on youtube how to carry DS in it, potench even on my back, as I'm determined to do this last school run of term with the sledge!
Lol at the DJ!

Carrie, a good tie with a stretchy wrap is the cross front carry. It keeps them very snug and is very comfortable. I carried ds round in his for pretty much a whole day when he was 5 months old and i can honestly say I was never uncomfortable. Remember that when you tie a stretchy wrap, to keep it tight at all times. The material will stretch when you put ds in it.

How flexible is the preschool bec? Would ds be allowed to have a choice of activity, or choice between x and y, or will they steer him into whatever they are doing? A's one is a mixture but they were more flexible when he first moved up to preschool, even letting him go to baby room for a day once. Might be useful to know - and for them to know how he might take it!

In other news, baby Rosa born Wed 8 Feb, 9.40pm, 7 lb 3. And wish I'd got all the people who said 'no-one ever has a ventouse twice' to put money on it! Thought it was just my pelvis getting worse on Tues, then after midnight it dawned on me it was painful every 20 min or so, then every 15... and a stonking cold really didn't help. So got to hospital 10.30am, about the time the SPD required an epidural last time, so had one immediately. Managed to get to full dilation by myself but with only MrNC and a tiny midwife never managed to get me only all-fours and pushing wasn't working, so as soon as the docs came in we agreed a repeat ventouse in theatre - as the anaesthetist said, you don't want a c-sec, we don't want to do one this time of night - way too much paperwork, so don't worry, this will work fine.

Had to stay in that night, but to my great shock and pleasure, the post-natal care was excellent - when they said "don't worry that you can't reach your baby - just press the button and someone will pick her up for you and then put her back again", someone was there within two minutes every time and still smiled all the times when turned out she didn't want to feed after all, and offered to clean up any of the bed if I needed it.

Finally escaped 9pm last night, after promising to have MrNC pick up lots of drugs today, as they want me to take anti-clot injections and other stuff. But touch wood, I'm on the mend!

And A is quite chuffed with his new sister, not to mention a whole two days being spoilt rotten by his grandparents, but even more pleased with the Roary car she 'brought' him. Will see how they get on over time...

WOW!!! many many congrats NC What a beautiful name!! Glad A is chuffed..ds1 was too (Toby "bought" him a "Toby" engine for his railway!) Cant believe that you are on MN so quickly!!! Well done! xxxx

I dont know re: pre school but dh has thrown a bit of a spanner in the works re; starting date as he found out today he has got to go to Belarus next week and China the week after - just when Toby is due to start pre school...am going to ring and ask if he can start after dh gets back so he will be more settled. I think the children do different activities i.e. some are on the PC, some are in the den, some are playing trains etc...I know they have story time and snack time all together.

Congratulations nc!!! Glad to hear post-natal care was very good and attentive and that you were in and out fairly quickly. Beautiful name too. Enjoy your new little family.

I'm also concerned about not being able to push. It was a huge huge effort for me last time. Took 2.5 hours, herculean strength I didn't know I had, absolutely no urge to push and I hadn't even had an epidural and was on all fours the whole time. Was banking on the 'it'll be easier next time' that everyone keeps telling me.

Huge congratulations nc, mrnc and A. A beautiful name too.
I loved the way you started your post with a chat about pre-schl then added an "oh and by the way I had a baby" as if it was a minor event in your life!