Sept 08- The threenagers have arrived - Advanced negotiating and crowd control skills required

[DebiTheScot]

Sorry Meglet if you wanted to start the thread with your title but I thought I'd best do it while there was still one space to post the link to this one on the last one.

No Debi - I gave it him back. Should have hung on to it but didn't want to be petty.

Ninja,

I don't know whether this is good advice or not. You know him best.

But what effect would having giving him a display of emotion over losing your alarm clock/calendar whatever . I mean if you act devestated about it will that egg him on to do more, or would it fulfil his need to hurt you and head off any future 'attacks' that he might start because he hasn't yet got you grovelling?

Ninja he sounds like a perulant child, but you knew that already.
If you don't have a negative for the pic then you could alays ask him to take it to Asda and have it photocopied. As for the other things try telling him in an 'you are a bit silly, did you know you had taken.....' if you don't sound hurt then he hasn't won but if you say things like 'dd wants to use her toothbrush and you have the charger can you drop it off' or 'when is such and such party? I can't find the calendatr' he might realise he is a dick and give them back.

Star how does Hull council rate on your list?

star How does North West Leics rate??

ninja Please get the locks changed when you get back! He's clearly not going to be in the slightest bit reasonable and the best you can do is not engage with him. He's being a knob.

XP had a clay slab of the kids hand prints, that I decided to pay for as a gift as it was just after we split up, and he swore blind (on several occasions) that he'd smashed it up. I was like 'oh, well your loss'. After a few months he admitted he hadn't touched it at all. I have my own one so I couldn't care less. He wanted the bed and fridge from the house too, he didn't get them, obviously! I really can't get my head around all their petty mind games.

This is the best - went to have a shower, he's only taken the half open shampoo from out of the shower. Worth about 50p but a right pain when you can't wash your hair. Plus my nice shower gel that I'd just bought myself.

If I ever doubted what he was like ......

He says he'll be ready to leave at 3 and I'm in no rush so we're waiting, we'll hopefully miss the bank holiday traffic and I'll know he can't get into the house.

starlight bot sure, I don't really want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he's upset me - but you're probably right that that will annoy him more. I'll think about it ......

I'm going to book a locksmith while we're away

ninja oh, how annoying! (the whole idea I supose!) Def get the locks changed whilst you are away

If there is one thing I have learned from the SN stuff it is that it really doesn't matter what the 'opponent' thinks. What matters is that you get a swift resolution that works for you and your children. And that means holding in your head your aims and objectives and most importantly 'OUTCOMES' and sticking to them unreservedly and without distraction.

As you begin to win, the 'opponent' attempts more and more to distract, change the arguement, throw you off on a tangent and undermine irrelevant things and it gets worse the stronger you get.

Letting them 'win' the irrelevant distraction arguments can sometimes get you further with your end goal sometimes. It also means that the distraction arguments are not prolonged iyswim.

Oh ninja I cannot believe some of the stuff he's taken, how petty! Well done you for rising above it, changing the locks, and giving your beautiful DDs (and yourself!) a great holiday, have fun! :)

Had lots more painful BH last night (not painful enough or lasting long enough to warrant the title 'contraction') and they came every 7 mins for quite a while. But of course they stopped around 1am again. Have had a few totally pain free BH today. Still naively optimistic I won't need to be induced on Tuesday

My lovely friends are taking me out to a posh ice cream place in town tonight, don't know if induction-by-over-indulgence is a proved theory, but its one I'm willing to try

But first the supermarket shop. My ILs will be here all week but we have no idea how long we'll be in hospital for if we do get induced so its all a bit up in the air.

carrie I am also very hopeful that you won't need to wait until Tuesday.

carrie Sounds very familiar! If you are anything like me then they will break your waters and you will be holding your baby within 3 hours

Carrie,

Okay, here are my very best tips.

When your BH start again this evening (Which they very likely will do) your task is to keep them going.

You can do this by getting your love hormone going. Sex is an option, but tbh I could absolutely NOT face it at your stage so try these things:

Sit on the loo (it opens your pelvis) and read some erotic novels/poems, or the sexy bits of some chic lit. Eat anything that makes you go 'Yum' and think of things that make you want to say 'Mmmmmmmm'. (I don't mean you to actually EAT on the loo btw'.

Every now and then, walk up and down the stairs sideways. This shakes the baby into position and a lower position.

If you simply 'hope' that the BH will progress, this will make you anxious and get your adrenaline going which will work against your 'love hormones' which you need in abundance.

Change the sheets on your bed too. When you slide into clean sheets this should also make you go 'Mmmmmm' and try to get you something to get your head or body bubbling like and indian head massage or reflexology or whatever.

Don't do ANYTHING that doesn't make you go 'Mmmmmmm'.

Carrie do you have a birthing ball? I used one for Robyn and Lucy and if nothing else they are very comfortable and relaxing. A friend of mine swears by expressing to help BH develop but could get uncomfortable.

You need to relax but not slob out on the sofa. I had a quick, and relatively painfree labour with ds and I had walked about 4 miles that day then gone home and relaxed with dd1.

Hope baby comes soon

Robyn is regressing in her potty training. She started going really long times inbetween wee's, about 4-5 hours and then this week she has started saying she needs a wee when she has already started weeing. DP says I ask her too much but I am now finding if I don't ask her before dinner, mid agternoon and before tea she is wetting herself

Another first today - A threw up in our car. Particularly annoying as he was just falling asleep, and as unlike dn he's never been carsick MrNC had removed all cleaning materials from the car, too. I think it was because my parents gave him a whole Cornetto yesterday, as afterwards he was as fine as a child who's missed his nap could be.

Debs - sounds very like A after a couple weeks potty training, and a day or two later he'd cracked it. I read the Pantley No-Cry potty book and one tip was 'Don't ask your child if they want to go to the potty. No child in history has ever wanted to stop playing and go to the potty. Tell them!' I found stopping the TV recorder until after potty worked a treat. Also when he said 'I don't need a wee' I'd remind him that if he did a wee in the potty he got a chocolate button so let's give it a go and see what happens.
Now he only gets smarties for poos, on the grounds that he has a scooter for being so good at weeing. As he tells us smugly every time he does one...

at smarties for poos!

Love the idea of changing the bed sheets to get your 'mmmmmmmmm' vibes going carrie. Clean sheet night is the best.

Ooh yes I love clean sheets! Mmmmmmm :)
Well the BH weren't much last night but my pelvis was killing me after walking round town so I was relieved to be able to just get to sleep. I've been awake since 5am again with painful BH, only this time they've not gone away....they're about every 10mins, even when I'm up and about doing things (normally getting out of bed makes them stop). I'm home alone for a few hours spending some quality time on the birth ball and writing some emails. I've had some chocolate (mmmm) and am going to make a . Interestingly I've been off tea for the whole pregnancy but last week someone offered me a and I thought actually yes I would like one, which made me wonder if my hormones were changing ready for birth?! I don't think there's any doubt I'm ready for birth, have been having contractions for 2 weeks now, I just need something to tip me over into actual labour. Can't believe I'm now 40+10
I will take on board all your excellent tips, relax, and seek the Mmmmmm experience!
That said I think at least 10mins have now passed since my last BH...clearly more chocolate is needed

I felt sure that the combined will and advice of the Sept 08 thread would push you into labour! But you never know... if the BH are still going then keep it up. And obviously you have to get off MN if that is stopping them.

Good luck with the lovin vibes Carrie, hopefully they'll get things going. You probably don't want to hear this, but sex brought labour on with ds2. G'won, you never know, you might even enjoy it

Ninja - jus incase you were in any doubt, your H really has proved what a stupid arsehole he is, he's just being vindictive. Rise above it. He's probably waiting for you to say something.

Enjoy your holiday Debi.

We went to the Natural History Museum yesterday, M was in dinosaur heaven. We were all knackered by the end of yesterday and I still feel knackered today, although that may have something to do with Baby I's nocturnal wakings and feeding

Well people, the 'mmmmm' experience worked, I am somewhat surprised to be telling you that I've had a baby!!!
After 2 weeks of stop-start, I had some twinges this morning, and by lunchtime it was apparent that this time they weren't going away. DH's cousin was due to be visiting us at 1ish so I texted to warn them I was in early labour but I didn't mind them coming if they didn't mind a bit of pacing from me. They arrived about 1:30 and although the contractions were every 2-3mins I could still talk through them. Suddenly at around 2:15 I had some I couldn't talk through though, and sloped off to the lounge to kneel over the birthing ball, thinking I didn't want to ruin everyone's afternoon. The pain quickly ramped up and I called DH through and got him to sort some childcare, and texted my best friend and second birth partner to say I really needed her now! Having had the experience with DD and DS of getting to hospital and being told I was only 2-3cm and therefore not 'in labour' I didn't want to go too early. Contractions were still 2-3mins apart and lasting less than a minute so although the pain was almost unbearable, my head said we shouldn't go in yet as they clearly weren't long enough to be doing any good. BF took over at this point (bless her) and phoned hospital and said we're coming in! Lovely friend arrived and took the DCs back to hers to play, DH's cousin and family left and we headed to hospital. I had several contractions during the very short car ride, and got down on hands and knees in the car park, the corridoor...everywhere on the way to be assessed. I was examined straight away, told I was 5cm, and staggered to the birth pool at 3:35. DS2 was born at 4:05! It was very very intense and I was quite shakey afterwards. My birth partners made an amazing team once again, they're utter legends. DS2 is 9lb 5oz and fills his newborn sleepsuit length wise already! He had a good feed which he then puked up, we were allowed home after 3 hours and we stopped en route for the now traditional fish and chips. I'm now in bed while the ILs (who happened to be coming up today anyway!) cuddle the baby. I can't quite believe it....think I'll be in shock for a while!
I'm very amused to have beaten fanny to making the birth announcement
It will be weird to start referring to my Sept 08 boy as 'DS1'!
And now to start discussing names

Whoop whoop, A massive congratulations Carrie. Just saw message on fb and had to get full story here :) what a fab story to tell. rest up and enjoy special new baby time. Had to laugh about the mmmmmmm,s but they obviously work!!! A big hello to the rest of you here, nice to see so many of the original bunch. Still so grateful for all the support laughs and advise I've had over the years. Can't believe the big 3 is round the corner. Love and hugs xxxx

Hurrah, another boy.

Many, many congratulations to you all Carrie, and a big well done to you.

Can't wait to hear the name.

I just had a feeling you wouldn't get as far as being induced.

Oh, welcome to the world little boy. Yay!

Well done Carrie a lovely little boy. It was quick in the end and I'm so glad you didn't have to be induced.
I can't believe I am welling up here after reading your post. I am not broody, I am not broody!
Will be on facebook later hunting for some pics

Hello to Babycino! 9lb 5oz? Quick waterbirth? Amazing. I am sooo thrilled for you.

But yes Carrie, I hang my head in shame. I think the lesson is that nobody should rely on me to pass on any news - no matter how important. I just saw the text over breakfast and assumed it said 4:04 am this morning... then came racing on to the thread and realised what a plonker I am for missing the whole thing! Don't know how that happened.*

But I do feel we all helped push this baby along. I somehow knew that Saturday night was the last night you would be pregnant, so was a little disappointed when your post yesterday morning claimed you weren't really in labour. So glad it has worked out this way.

• Actually, I do know how that happened. I was single handed with the kids, MrP was upstairs having a sleep because we had a bad night with the kids, I had a very complicated traditional cassoulet on the go in the kitchen which I was trying to serve up for the kids' dinner, two loads of vomity washing to sort out... you get the picture!

But still...