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Original poster

Sept 08- The threenagers have arrived - Advanced negotiating and crowd control skills required

999 replies

DebiTheScot · 24/08/2011 22:14

Sorry Meglet if you wanted to start the thread with your title but I thought I'd best do it while there was still one space to post the link to this one on the last one.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 05/12/2011 20:28

Great minds think alike Bec Smile

I meant to ask, how is the new house? How did the move go? Is it starting to feel like home yet?

Becaroooodolf · 05/12/2011 20:33
Smile

Ugh...stressful! 3 x 14 hour days is too much for me! House is fine, but its just taking so long to put all the crapstuff away in the loft/shed etc

Cable put in today and internet access back, so thats cheered me up a bit!
Been putting curtains up most of the day Smile

Got so much washing and ironing to do I honestly dont know where to start...Sad

Pacita · 05/12/2011 20:43

Rooting for mrsa too! Bfeeding on iphone, but did not want to just lurk.

Bec, congrats on new house. We moved just over a year ago and have been really happy.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 05/12/2011 21:34

And this is were my tale gets worse. I am so devastated I cannot tell you.

My IM has dropped us.

She went into have a long talk with the SoM in labour ward, and then we were told that she could no longer care for us and she could not talk to us. i begged them to let us talk to her, or at least ask her to be our advocate if she felt unable to care for me in labour and/or provide the 121 post natal care i badly need (for bf etc). the answer came back as no. she has our money and we have her home birth equipment!

DP is fuming and I have spent most of night in tears. i can't believe someone who had been so lovely and supportive can drop me at al,most 42 weeks.

When we came home, 2 community mws were waiting for us to say, yes we will come out to you but we do recommend you go to hospital. DP and I did not like them one bit!

As the baby is OK, I am taking each day and I feel so worried now - I have no one that I know and that's why we went for an IM!

I have actually managed to speak to a doula from the UK VBAC support thread who has said that my body does know what it is doing, and that's probably why labour has taken so long.
I will try the hands and knees thing and sleep on my left side etc but i am now having contractions every 4-6 mins but they are only lasting 30secs or so. Help - not sure what to do!!

ninjinglebells · 05/12/2011 21:59

MrsA - I didn't want to leave you unanswered.

Do you know WHY she dropped you? Did you have any inkling of this? At least you had a relaxed end of pregnancy without all the testing and stress that was being threatened. However, it seems unbelievable

If as ILTMIMI says the baby is fine, then presumably that means that you have a little space to make a decision (although with contractions 4 - 6 mins apart maybe not that much space!)

At least the Community midwives will come out to you and they also know they can't bully you.

I hope someone comes along with some advice ....

digitalgirl · 05/12/2011 22:09

Oh MrsA Shock how can this have happened? Do you think the SoM put the willies up her? Wish I could give you some advice but I haven't done nearly as much research as you have on homebirthing. All I can say is listen to your instincts.
Personally, I would want more monitoring which is why I'm likely to go for a hospital birth. As much as I know you've fought for your ideal homebirth you have been let down by your IM and you now have to make decisions which you weren't expecting to make. Thinking of you. You can do this, but please, please don't feel bad if you have to do it in a way that was different to how you've planned it.

Kagey · 05/12/2011 22:59

MrsA Sad I can't believe this has happened, I'm so sorry to hear this. The community midwives may prefer you to come in but at the moment there is no medical need for you to. I had a lovely midwife for dd2 who helped me try to stay in control. I shall be thinking of you tonight x

Original poster
DebiTheScot · 05/12/2011 23:01

I'm so sorry to read your news MrsA, I don't have any advice but my thoughts and prayers are with you tonight.

OP posts:
ninjinglebells · 05/12/2011 23:02

Thinking of you, Digigirl is right - you've done everything you can and made some really tough decisions and you should be proud of that. If you have to make some more tough decisions that weren't excatly what you had planned then be proud of those too

Debs75 · 05/12/2011 23:05

Oh MRSA what a let down from your IM. Do you have any inkling why she would do that to you?

Robyn did the spinning and popping out of my pelvis in the last week or two. It was why induction was put off twice. My friends dd was also pointing the wrong way and she ended with a emcs. She was strapped to the bed throughout her labour so she couldn't do any optimal positioning moving around thingmyjig.
Stay strong and hopefully those contractions are getting stronger now and your labour is in a more advanced state.
Can you get a doyula to come out as well and advocate for you>

Bec glad you are in your new house, sounds stressful but hopefully that will be your last move. I am excited about moving and we don't even have a house to move to. I have decluttered and sorted things out, I am even trying to stop DP getting the dc's lots of Christmas presents in case we have no where to put them in the new house

Meglet · 05/12/2011 23:49

Oh how cruel to be let down by her mrsA Sad.

I hope the hospital don't put too much pressure on you but all the same if they sent out 2 midwives they must be concerned. However it pans out over the next few days I'm rooting for you and hope you still get a good birth, even if it's not quite the one you'd planned. ((Hugs))

Becaroooodolf · 06/12/2011 08:43

Oh mrsa So sorry this has happened...the IM should be a member of an association/and be insured so you should get some of your money back, although I know that is not why you are so upset.

Sigh.

Just dont know what to say to you darling.....with Toby I contracted pretty ineffectually for days Sad

I was 1cm on the monday and had a sweep, I lost some of my waters on the tuesday evening and by weds morning was 3 cms but went home and went in again on the thurs morning (at 41 weeks) and still only was 4-5 cms Sad I could have cried! I had been contracting every 3-4 mins since the tuesday evening! They then broke my waters and Toby was born 3 hours later!

All I can say is you CAN have a good birth at hospital...I had a lovely birth with Toby...just me and dh and the mw and - occasionally - the ward sister pooped her head round. The sister was fab...she really supported me about not having the syntocin injection to deliver the placenta Smile

Thinking of you xxxx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 06/12/2011 08:57

mrsA Shock I am just stunned at the IM behaviour. If she didn't want to be your MW (for whatever reason) she should have told you face to face and her reasons why. Once the baby is here and things have settled down I hope you make an official complaint against her and pursue her for a reason and a refund.

I would also pursue the SoM as something fishy has happened

Back to the here and now, just remember that the baby is doing ok, and apart from being very upset, you are ok too. They are two massive positives.

My heart really does go out to you, but remember that all of this shit flying around doesn't have to stop you from birthing this baby, your way - whatever way you choose that to be.

CappuccinoCarrie · 06/12/2011 12:44

MrsA so so sorry that this has happened, likewise I wonder what the nature of the conversation between the IM and SoM was...I like to think the best of people but its hard not knowing the details. But right now that's not important and hard as it is it has to be put in the "deal with later" camp while you all focus on this birth and your beautiful baby. I can't wait for you to meet your baby face to face, to snuggle and feed and get to know this gorgeous new little person. The fact that the community midwives came out shows they more than acknowledge the strength of your passion at having a home birth if at all possible. Your contractions sound like pre-labour/early labour, and are about the frequency and duration of the ones I had only hours before having my DCs. With DS2 I was convinced they weren't lasting long enough to be of any real use, and I had him just over an hour later, shows how wrong I was!
There was probably no point in writing all that since your last update was 15 hours ago you've probably already had your baby now!

ninjinglebells · 06/12/2011 20:32

I hope MrsA is OK

digitalgirl · 06/12/2011 22:15

Thinking of you MrsA

Meglet · 06/12/2011 23:04

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and hope you're doing ok mrsA. x

Becaroooodolf · 07/12/2011 08:34

Hoping mrsa is ok too.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 07/12/2011 09:20
Original poster
DebiTheScot · 07/12/2011 09:30

me too. She's not been on her antenatal thread either. Hope everything is ok and if it hasn't gone the way she wanted that she'll be able to focus on the baby and not be too traumatised/upset/not sure what the right word is about the birth.

OP posts:
ninjinglebells · 07/12/2011 09:53

I know Debi, I'm hoping that too

digitalgirl · 07/12/2011 11:31

Nothing on FB either. Hope all is well MrsA

CappuccinoCarrie · 07/12/2011 12:34

mustnotfretmustnotfretmustnotfret

ninjinglebells · 07/12/2011 12:43

Can I have a Xmas Biscuit instead - trying to feel festive!

Well - ExH definitely 100% has another woman. He invited the husband of a good friend of mine (who he is quite friendly with) out for a drink to meet her Shock

She obviously told me but wasn't sure whether he had intended for it to be kept quiet.

In fact I think that he did it on purpose so I'd find out because he's too much of a coward to tell me himself (remember he never told his mum about us separating)

I clearly knew, but keep kidding myself that maybe it wasn't actually true that after 18 years together he could just move on so fast

Now I think of it though I wonder how long it's been going on. This is not an early relationship, she's there every weekend and often in the week (so the kids say - I haven't asked them, they just mention her).

I had a strong feeling he was seeing someone in the summer. This woman is someone he works with who he's stayed with after nights out before. I assumed that this was because she lived closer to Manchester (in fact I though he'd told me this) but no she actually lives further away. I now remember texts I'd seen from and to her that were very flirty and I have asked him in the past if there was something going on but he just laughed at me and told me she was old (or something like that).

I feel like a right idiot and yet he keeps on insisting to people (like our childminder) that 'thi thing about me and ninja is that there wasn't anyone else' Angry

I'd love to know, but I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of asking and looking like a sad, jealous ex.

Good luck to her she'll need it

Meglet · 07/12/2011 12:45

.

Brew