Sept 08- The threenagers have arrived - Advanced negotiating and crowd control skills required

[DebiTheScot]

Sorry Meglet if you wanted to start the thread with your title but I thought I'd best do it while there was still one space to post the link to this one on the last one.

Good luck. I think I might cry if you get your HB!

MrsA thinking of you :) I was only 3 cm when the midwife came at midnightish and Maebh came 3 1/2 hours later (she did give me a sneaky sweep tho' so she wouldn't have to go home!)

Oh it's so exciting, it just takes me back.....

No news on facebook either

Frustratingly peed off. Contractions slowed and then stopped around 8pm and so I have managed to get sleep tonight, I just want them to start up again! Waters still intact anmd I feel guilty that IM has forked out on a hotel for no reason. I really expected to have baby by now!

And I regret texting my mother who has sent a series of pointless texts about her labours with me and dsis but really just badgering for news every 5mins!

Sigh. I will doze till 6ish then get pacing the hall!

Just remember MrsA that all of this stop start IS doing something. It's helping the baby get into the optimum position and it's probably thinning and dilating your cervix. It's frustrating and tiring, but at least it is doing something.

Dont worry about your IM, her fee covers the cost and she is aware more that anyone that labour is not a predictable thing.

Be proactive with your mum and ask her to stop texting you, tell her you will call her when the baby has arrived. If in doubt turn your phone off.

When you start to feel teary (which is a given at this stage I think!), take yourself away. Lay on your bed and connect with your baby. Close your eyes, rub your bump, visualise your cervix dilating and visualise seeing your baby's face for the first time. Take some time out to just be, rather than stress about what you think should be happening. You can't control this situation, but you can control how you feel about it

God, I would love to give birth again. Is that weird? Idon't want another baby and I certainly dont want another pregnancy, but I LOVED giving birth.

Great advice from ILTMIMI I had a full night of labour pains which stopped the day before M came, it's good actually that you've managed to get your body going but still had some sleep :)

Bugger. this is mainly aimed at ILTMIMI - Cos I am 41+4 IM is getting a bit concerned that no more progress is being made and baby may be suffering.
Heartrate, urine, bp etc all OK and waters intact, plus baby movement, just no bloody contractions! It's been 18 hours since last contraction. :(

She's given me a sweep and has said she will 100% support whatever I decide but she would like me to go for some monitoring in hospital. There's no signs that anything is wrong but she wanted to give me options.

This has totally freaked me out and I am terrified it'll all end in induction/section. How do i get labour going again?
Also concerned that C is still at nana's house - she'll be fine but will nana!!

I have refused monitoring today but said I will consider it for tomorrow. I know the IM will support me and act as advocate but I am so scared they will pressure me in hospital and I am worried what we will do with C if this stretches into Mon, tues, wed etc.

Even if you have no words of wisdom, I'd really appreciate some hand-holding!!

oh MrsA . ((hugs)).

If nothing kicks off will they skip straight to a cs so you don't have to go through induction which may end in an emcs? I know you want a natural birth but presumably your aim is to avoid another emcs? I'm not very good at things like this though as I knew I couldn't give birth naturally so the decision was taken out my hands second time around, I never had a 'what if' moment.

And you do have an IM this time and your experience of C's birth behind you so you should feel more confident standing your ground if you do go to hospital. I was much bossier second time round.

Thanks for the thoughts Meglet but I want to avoid a section at all costs.

I'm feeling a bit better and had a long chat with my IM this afternoon. From what I can see, she is only concerned because labour has started and I am approaching 42 weeks are there is an actual small increased risk that the placenta does not function as well at 42 weeks than at 40 weeks.

The hospital/MHS is concerned as I have all these other risk factors (hypertension, previous section, overweight, possible pre-eclampsia).

For me, I dealt with the other 'NHS' risks when i got pregnant and whilst did not dismiss them, nothing has changed for me and the risks of these do not increase just because I am overdue. therefore, they are not new risks and so do not concern me (well, they do obviously but I am comfortable with them and, for example, my bp is absolutely fine at home. It was 116/80 today). So I would not change my plans based on these perceived risks.

The 'new' risk if you like is that I am overdue but labour has stalled. My IM has said if I was 2 weeks earlier and this happened, she would not be concerned at all. It's only because the placenta may be ageing that she would like extra scans.

She has given me 2 sweeps today and whilst the cervix is no more dilated (3cm) it is now fully thinned, so I'm still keeping everything crossed that labour kicks off again tonight.,

Otherwise, we will go to hospital tomorrow and have some monitoring. I have already told her that I will not consent to induction or c-section unless there is a clear medical emergency to do so. If all is well (and there is nothing to indicate it isn't), I expect to come home and wait it out. Labour has to restart eventually!

My biggest other concern now is that poor C has been apart from me since Saturday morning and may have to stay with nana a few more days. She adores nana but I am worried she is missing me and DP dreadfully.

To make it clear (typos!) I don't have pre-eclampsia, but have an increased risk due to my age, weight, bp. IM and I are happy that, atm, I don't have it.

sorry mrsA, I hope I didn't come across as pro-section. I'm coming from the 'avoid an emcs at any cost' point of view and assume that interventions will increase the risk.

Oh meglet no apologies needed - i probably replied to sharply as it's been going round in my head all day!

Tbh, I am so keen to have a natural birth (and have the benefit of C's birth in hindsight) that i would go for induction over a planned section anyday - at least it gives me a chance of a natural birth.

Just wish i had a way of going into labour without going into hospital. So near but so far from my homebirth atm!

{{MrsA}} - it gets tough being the strong one all of the time doesn't it? You just want a crystal ball so you know what is going to happen, or you want someone to make the decision for you so it is all seemingly out of your hands. But, we both know that that isn't the case. YOU have to make the decisions that are best for you both, with the information you are given at the time.

Has you labour stalled or are you just having a pre labour? In my mind they are two completely different things. The term stalled labour is rather emotive IMO, and a horrible phrase that does nothing but cause upset and feelings of failure.

If you are worrying about C, bring her home. She can picked up/dropped off again. If it is putting extra pressure on you, find a way that takes the pressure off.

If I were in your shoes I would be having a lot of sex with huge rip roaring orgasms.

Are the scans to determine amniotic fluid levels and blood flow through the chord/placenta? Why not talk through all of the scenarios with your MW and your dp? Remember that you don't have to rush into any decisions, you can mull over them and list out the pro's and con's.

For me, the most important thing was to keep the faith in my body and my baby,and their ability to birth. I hope you can do the same, I know it is difficult to do when seemingly everyone around you is wobbling.

Just know that I am sending you faith, strength and positive vibes

iltmimi I don't have anyone who will take the dc's overnight. Mum helps a lot during the week (coming to my house) but my step-dad works full-time and brings work home at the weekends. So they can't really have the children tearing around when he's busy. They took us on a steam train this morning and had them this afternoon as I was struggling, and they are great with them , but that's as much as I can ask for now.

I do hope they'll have them overnight when he retires in a few years.

MrsA I really am thinking of you. It must be so hard having to be the one to make these decisions even though you want to be in control.

C will be fine - she really will. Kids have this ability to be upset when they're dropped off and picked up and to just get on with it the rest of the time. I'm sure it's a survival technique. I had to look after my friend's 2 year old when her sister was in hospital and it was amazing how she just fitted in to the routine (in fact she slept better than at her house!)

I hope that you've taken ILTMIMI's advice and it works.

Meglet I can't imagine how hard it is to have the kids all of the time. Much as I love my kids and miss them when they're not here - sometimes it's good to have a break from them. (I am now wondering if I'd swap having to negotiate with exH for having the kids all the time......)

Took the girls to Gulliver's world today, it was great. Train trip to see (scouse!) Father Christmas, no queues. Quite a lot of rain but that didn't dampen the spirits. M LOVED all the rides - especially the big pirate ship!! She was laughing while the others were screaming

In new house and internet access back on!

Hoping no update from mrsa means labour in full swing??!!!

Sending love to you x

About to go to hospital for brief monitoring. iltmimi is right - IM wants to check amniotic fluids and cord function. I'm not 100% convinced and am scared shitless of the hospital but I have nothing with me and we are picking C up later so I AM coming home. Mild to moderate contractions are back but only about 3 an hour. I did some research on homebirth.org last night and am a bit more confident that I have had prelabour not a stalled labour. I am just a bit later than most. Ouch. Another contraction - manageable and hoping it's not wind related as I haven't been yet (tmi!!)

It really helps having you guys here. I feel the thread is a safe haven.

Best of luck with the monitoring MrsA. Am rooting for you to get back in time to pick up dd and then have a lovely relaxed homebirth.

wishing you lots of luck and hope you are home soon! x

Good luck with the monitoring MRSA I went in 2 or 3 times with Robyn so I could delay the induction. If I had had as much research done and knowledge as you I would of held out longer.

Just lurking awaiting news of MrsA and sending lots of labour vibes your way...really hope things hot up and you have a smooth labour and meet your baby soon, we're so excited for you!!!

Advice anyone? Went for monitoring and all seems ok but the blimmin scan showed baby is head down but the head is to the right of the pelvis, and not in the pelvis. They're now saying he may get stuck during labour. The mw touched baby's head during yesterdays sweep so I think/hope baby is just naturally engaging and bouncing out but I'm worried. Anyone have any advice?

Oh gosh mrsa you poor thing!

Something similar happened to my friend - and mother of my goddaughter - she laboured to 10 cms but then had to have an emcs as baby was stuck at that angle Sorry - I know thats not what you want to hear darling

What does your IM think?

Agree with Bec, what does your MW say?

During my labour with ds3 an internal exam showed that he had descended into the pelvis at an angle (the give away was my waters were bulging, but only on one side) and was posterior - which is why I wasn't dilating as quickly as expected (ds2's labour and birth was quite quick).

So, my MW first had me laying on my left side to move him from the posterior position. I then had to kneel with my forehead on the floor and my bum in the air - this brought him back off of the cervix. I then had another internal and the MW confirmed that the waters were now bulging evenly. So the positions I had adopted had rotated him and allowed him to come out of the pelvis and then descend straight down. So I guess the point of my story is, yes you may be able to get him to move.

Look at the spinning babies website, it is great for optimal fetal positioning.

The good news is that he is fine and doing good. That is a HUGE positive.

Was about to come back and post re: optimal positioning!!!!! iltmimi beat me to it!!!