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April 2009 Episode 15 Bebe & BB have babies n stuff

814 replies

PuzzleRocks · 25/07/2011 19:13

Ta da

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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BB3 · 04/11/2011 16:54

Wfh how much would you love the job you'd be doing? It sounds like you want them to offer it to the other candidate but is that because you don't really want the job or you want to avoid making a decision?

BB3 · 04/11/2011 18:29

ggaaaaahhhh! This is awful but my bloody neighbour offered to lay our porch carpet for us to save some money and effort but he's done such a piss poor job I know don't know what to do, one edge is too long, the other doesn't reach the wall and we don't have enough of the remnants to do it again so now I don't know what to do other than patch it together and hope it looks ok - so pissed off but feel bad for being so ungrateful! DH is going to do it when he is home but me being the impatient person I am asked him to come and sort it now so I can stop stressing about it and he wont leave work early (he runs the bloody business he can chose his hours fgs and make up for it tomorrow but no!!) Rant over... carry on...

BoffinMum · 05/11/2011 09:40

Interview went really well - I gave it my best shot, and I liked all the people a lot, particularly the guy I would be working for. I hear early next week if I have got through to the next round.

WFH, anything is possible with a willing and supportive DH and a good nanny, but it is true that they need you more when they are at school because schools don't offer the same level of holistic care as nurseries etc, unless you go private to one which takes boarders and has a san, homework clubs and so on that younger day pupils can use as well.

But it sounds to me like you are not ready for this. However you could find out more about how much notice you would get to travel, and how long it would be for each time, plus whether they would meet any additional childcare costs incurred over your nanny's usual f/t hours (which the Inland Revenue seem fine about), or give time off in lieu. You also want to make sure they let you factor in a recovery day if you have been flying long haul, and let you buy fully flexible tickets so that you can hop on an earlier train/plane if possible. If they are RyanAir/EasyJet oriented then it's worth avoiding, as it will do your head in unless it's a quick hop to Scotland.

I find doing a night or two a month is not a problem at all, plus a longer trip of about 5 days, and in fact I love having a bit of time to myself and meeting new people. But we have a rule that we never have both parents out of the country at the same time, and if we are both away from home overnight, we get a grandparent or other relative in to keep the kids and nanny company.

There's a lot to be said for having a live-in nanny if you have to travel. But nannies have lives too, and get ill occasionally, so you do need a back up plan as well.

BoffinMum · 05/11/2011 09:41

Sorry, I meant a five day trip once or twice a year, not every month!!!!!!

BoffinMum · 05/11/2011 09:41

BB3, it will look OK patched, I am sure.

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 05/11/2011 10:12

Thanks Boffin and BB3, that's really useful. I think establishing the amount of travel is crucial as you say - if they offer it to me I think it's a case of going in for a chat with my immediate line manager and talking specifics, as so far it's all been in very general terms.

I am nervous about getting a nanny, both from a cost point of view (if it eats up all the salary increase, is it worth doing, for example) and also from the point of view of picking someone. Have no idea how to go about it! And Orbit is so very happy at nursery - maybe we would need a nanny share really. After all he'll be three soon so really only need someone who can do drop off/pick ups from preschool/school and have Orbit in the afternoons.

DP and I have been arguing constantly this week. Sad The whole job thing has raised lots of issues around childcare and responsibility, with me feeling put upon and him feeling criticised. Joy. Oh well, off for a night away in a hotel now, will either be the mending of us or an unmitigated disaster.

BB3 hope you get your carpet sorted - is it really awful or just not BB3 standards Wink?

Boffin glad interview went well, will cross fingers for you!

BB3 · 05/11/2011 10:22

Boff, really glad the interview went well.

Wfh - how was hotel.

Oh no it was god awful - at one end it didn't reach in one corner so just ended with a random jagged edge about 3cms away from the wall and the other end was too short by miles so he just plonked an off cut underneath it Hmm

Anyway it looks ok now not perfect and o desperately need carpet tape to stick the join but the village carpet shop is closed today for staff shortages and I'm not sure I can be arsed with a 90 minute round trip to town to buy some before I leave at 1 to get my parents. Ho hum

Wfh working and balancing kids is really hard, I'm incredibly lucky to have my sister as our nanny and my mother and father on hand but if dh continues to work the hours he's working we are going to have to rethink work when my maternity leave finishes as we can't both be gone for 12-15 hours a day on the days im in London x Confused

BoffinMum · 05/11/2011 12:32

WFH I think a good start would be to treat yourself to a temporary nanny for a couple of weeks to test the water, before committing to a new job where you would probably have to go down this route.

What I would say is that unless one parent is at home a fair bit, au pairs are very stressful, so avoid that as an option.

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 08/11/2011 19:53

Hello hello, hotel was lovely and we feel a bit mended, so that's good!

BB3 - you're not kidding on the working/juggling kids thing. I'm currently working four days a week while DP works all hours and works away a lot, and some weeks it's fine and some weeks it's horrendous, so that's why I'm wondering how we would manage this new job.

Mind you I haven't heard anything from them, so I think they're probably offering it to someone else. However, there's a more senior role at work that I might apply for, and a job in the paper today that looks interesting, so we'll see.

Boff thank you for thoughts about temporary nanny - that's a good thought. There's an agency quite near here that might be able to help. And having seen your trials and tribulations with au pairs, I'm definitely steering clear of that idea! Grin

Have you heard about your interview yet?

AuldAlliance · 08/11/2011 20:18

Glad things are better with DH, WFH. I have no real advice about the work issue, I am not sure my experience is very typical nor very ideal...
Hope the job situation works out in a way that suits you and the family.

Right, now ladeees, I wouldn't like you all to think that I believe the world revolves around moi though of course it does, actually but what are we doing on Fri 18th? Who is coming? Where are we going? I need to know what to pack, cos if it's fish and chips in the park I'll leave the couture gown and tiara at home Wink.

BB3 · 09/11/2011 07:05

I've just looked on fw fb page and theirs 5 plus me and you but sure there were others

BB3 · 09/11/2011 10:02

There's not theirs!!!

ZuluWarrior · 09/11/2011 19:58

Oh dear BB. Did you get a sleep today (stupid question)?. How are you feeling now?

I was up from 1.30 til 4 with DS of all people. Pissing about wanting a wee/bunny/anything else he could think of. I ended up putting a pull up on him to stop him using needing a wee as an excuse to get out of bed! It's not often the little one sleeps better than her big brother...

BoffinMum · 09/11/2011 20:06

I didn't get the job. Sad

ZuluWarrior · 09/11/2011 21:24

Oh, sorry Boff. You sounded really positive about it too. As you say, you gave it your best shot. Did it come as a shock?

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 09/11/2011 21:27

Oh poo. I'm sorry to hear that Boff. Did they give any reasons?

BB3 · 10/11/2011 08:19

Sorry boff xx

BoffinMum · 10/11/2011 11:55

Not good enough at research, apparently.

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 13/11/2011 11:27

They are clearly not good enough at research, Boff, or they would have researched you more thoroughly and realised that you are in fact perfect.

(See what I did there? Grin)

Either that, or it was a stupid job that would have made you miserable. There'll be a better one along in a minute. Have a Brew

BoffinMum · 16/11/2011 18:08

You are quite right, of course. Grin

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 16/11/2011 21:09

I wouldn't listen to me though. I am the person who just screamed at her five year old and made them cry. Sad

This evening was not a good bedtime. But dear God, will he ever just Do What He Is Told? Every tiny thing, from Put your shoes on to Would you like some cornflakes is subject to argument, negotiation, whinging and general arsiness.

I am officially at the end of my tether. I am also racked with guilt because I think he thinks I prefer Orbit to him (Orbit is desperately cute and at a charmingly positive stage, which doesn't help when compared to a bolshy grumpy five year old)

I need some time off from my children.

ZuluWarrior · 16/11/2011 23:20

WFH don't feel guilty. They know exactly how to push our buttons, no? And bedtime is the hardest time, when everyone is exhausted. Your 5 year old will still love you in the morning. Any prospect of a bit of you time? Or a dirty weekend? Hope you are sitting with a glass of wine, or tucked up in bed fast asleep.

My toddler had a record-breaking tantrum today. Can't even remember what it was about. I ignored his screams for so long that he left the room, got a tissue out of the box, wiped his tears and returned composed Grin.

BoffinMum · 17/11/2011 17:55

Is it not a rule of parenthood that you have to make your children cry when they are being feral and obnoxious? I am sure we covered this in NCT classes. Wink

vezzie · 18/11/2011 10:53

Hello

General hello to all, plus marking place in case any news of tonight appears
Sorry, must dash, dd2 has run out of things to gum

BoffinMum · 18/11/2011 13:40

All on he FB page - I will aim to be there from 7.