Feb 2011 - The one where they all start sleeping through the night! (We hope)

[WanderingSheep]

Was hoping a positive title might bring us some good luck

reastie I am/was a Brown Owl! Am on 'leave' at the mo but don't think I'll be going back for a year or two as I'm stressed out enough. I go to my singing group once a week as my 'me' time and that's properly for me, whereas Brownies is sometimes fun and sometimes just hard work. I know just what you mean about the weird world of Brownie/Guide Leaders though, there are some odd bods!

Re feed/sleep routine, C has evolved into an almost textbook Gina baby, which I wasn't that bothered about at first, but everything I have loosely 'tried', has worked. She feeds at 7am, 11am 2pm and then 5 and 6.30 (split feed), then bed at 7 and dream feed at 10.30. She sleeps for 45 minutes around 9am and about 2 hours at midday, and maybe 10 minutes at 4.30ish. So she is a bit textbook really.

D

it's not excactly cuddly tarlia, but jupiter is the fire engine from fire man sam. Actually took him to playgroup this morning in big boy pants and had no accidents. I am so proud of him, makes me a little bit sad that he's growing up so quickly though.

Freya has about 3 1/2 hrs in naps 2hrs lunchtimeish, 45 mins morning and 45mins about half 4. I'm not rigid at all with it though and just let it flow. She has some rice and veg or fruit when she wakes from afternoon nap as thats when ds i eating and she gets quite annoyed if she hasn't got anything. We've just started her on some baby porridge in the morning. I'm not forcing it though and i'm taking it very slow, if she refuses i leave it and try the next day.

We did a Ikea trip after all your persuadings, and also for a new bed for gigantor baby here! While in the (obligatory) restaurant a nice lady came and cooed over K and held him while we ate - free babysitting!! (Btw this is very normal in Greece and I have learned to not about it all!)
Obviously we also came home with a load of shite things we didn't know we needed...
Also interested in the mesh thing - Mothercare you say? We have that here :)
(makes self feel better for lack of tesco :( )
And, wiggles , just let me know when you win and I'll break out the champers (on you, natch) - you are all welcome, and it's so stifling balmy here you wont even need sleeping bags. It's 32 degrees at the moment but cloudy. Yuck.
Tarlia so sorry about the out-law problems, you know we love a good moan sympathise on this thread. It does help to talk, or write, about it. I think a lot of us have worked things out on this thread that feel different to rl somehow. Anyway, you're not alone.
Ok, off to collect some more toys from a friend, as K is a bit deprived, he was happy with a wooden spoon for so long... and there's a walker, so I'm excited about that. I imagine he will love it :o

byronicheroine I have been out for lunch a few times with Anna and she has been spirited away by the waitresses, nice but not as nice as the elderly woman who gave me £5 today in the park for Anna I saw the mesher in Mothercare.

Was going to buy Greece but due to insufficient funds will have to wait until next week

tarlia Sofia was born back of head first, she was back to back for the whole labour and it was very painful. I had never seen any of my labour notes, infact for Sofia and Olivia I never kept my pregnancy notes, just left them with the hospital. With Anna I have the notes, not sure it was a great idea, especially with Google! We lost Olivias heartbeat during labour, I will never forget the fear. 5 months is not too late for PND and its doesn't mean you love Z any less or that you're not a good Mum, the fact that you're worried about how you feel makes you a great Mum.

Hi all, not been on for ages due to sunny weather and generally being overwhelmed by 3 demanding DCs (plus a bit of relationship bother, waaa).
Plus have been weaning the lovely Casspants - she is now on 2 meals a day, one of veg puree and one rice with fruit puree - maybe I'm a bad mummy since she's only 20 weeks but she weighs 18 pounds ffs - milk alone has no chance of sustaining her!
Sorry theres been so much chatting that personals are hard - I vaguely recall much perveage over Idris Elba - he's mine! Oh and ledkr DP and I were Wire obsessives - I'm watching the Sopranos to replace it - he doesnt like it but watched The Shadow Line on BBC1 - that was a bit bleak for me. Cant watch Luther any more either cause it creeps me out - I was scared to come down in the night to heat a bottle after watching the first one....(wuss)
The mesh feeder thing sounds genius, may have to go on a recce to get me one, thanks to whoever suggested!
Extremely jel of textbook babies - Cass still doesnt sleep through. She did one night last week and I woke up feeling like I'd taken speed - felt amazing, Shredded by 7am etc - then after that it was back to waking up. So over it.
PS to choco and ledkr - is it you two doing WW? I am too and it is working but I'm so hungry sometimes! and feel its making me obsess over food? How are you getting on with it?

tarlia sorry you are feeling down, if it helps rant away about the mil! Your birth experience sounds very frightening, maybe you need to talk to someone about it? I hope you are ok .

hubbard well done with the potty training! Bet DS is well proud to be in big boy pants!

Meant to say reastie, re Alice getting too tired if you were to try and not let her nap as such...I would always let C sleep when she wants to, which at the moment is after roughly 2 hours of being awake, as she would be impossible otherwise (plus, it's just not nice, she needs her sleep!), but I will wake her earlier if I don't want her to have a really long sleep, e.g. her late afternoon nap is now only about 10 minutes. It's just a quick recharge before tea, bath, bottle and proper bed at 7.

If she isn't showing tired signs at 2 hours, I take her up anyway, and pretty much as I walk into her bedroom she starts going limp and blinky and it's just a few minutes to put her down.

Dx

Tarlia, 5 months is not too late for the diagnosis of PND as it may be something that has been creeping up on you for a while. I was diagnosed when ds1 was about 22 weeks and MIL's treatment of me was a large factor in it. I figured one day that as I'd been shaking all day and had been imagining driving myself into a tree for a couple of weeks that I ought to see the doctor. I phoned at 5 and due to the fantastic receptionist was in and seeing the doctor with tablets in my hand by 6pm. Admitting you need a bit of help gets you halfway to feeling better imo. I hope you don't need to see a doc but just letting you know my story in case it helps.

Thanks for the support everyone, I just feel like a failure and that actually, if his family were treating me differently I wouldn't be here. Who knows?
tad thank you for being so honest, I'm actually having similar visions involving the balcony, but keep thinking I can't leave poor Z as mil will get her claws in, I'm so stubborn I know I wouldnt do it, but it is scary when you can see it happening. Did you breastfeed ds1? I think perhaps that's another reason I've been fighting it as if I was diagnosed and needed meds, I'm not sure if I'd have to stop. How long did it last for you? I'm wondering if just focusing on the light at the tunnel end would help.

wiggles what a sweet old lady! I meant to say, I love the tummy pic of your 3 lovely ladies, can't remember if I said before.

Hubbard oh I see, haha. I had visions of a planet or space boy from a carton. I never for one second thought hard plastic fire engine, bless him. Fab news on the pants at playgroup.

Lovely to hear about all the weening going on. We havnt started yet, but he is so interested and watching me eat whilst licking his lips, so I let him suck on a lump of my banana today, he was confused when I took it away.

Hope bedtime routines are going well, sending sleepy vibes, especially to wee Alice.

Hubbard, eel done to your little man on potty training. I think I found it the most stressful part of parenting with Ben!
Tarlia, having been diagnosed with PND early with Noah, I've been on the anti D's since he was 3 weeks and can't imagine feeling how I did at the beginning. I imagined awful things, like doing myself or him harm, it wad terrible, but it's hormonal and you cannot control it. With Ben I think I did have it but mildly and it was definitely nit helped by in laws. Their comments and questions on my parenting almost destroyed me. This time they have been so supportive, they've been amazing. With Ben I felt bad until he was about 18 mths old and wish I'd had help, although I did pay to see a therapist when he was 6 mths old.
Please get help if you feel you need it. There is no shame in accepting help.

wiggles - thats it - im off to loiter around parks on the hunt for well meaning old biddies - wonder how much i can get

tarlia as far as im aware pnd can happen any time in the first year so defo not too late for you. i completely empathise with not wanting mil to dig in claws as im the same

thanks for sleepy vibes dh working late tonight so im on bed time duty. if all goes well ill take credit but if not it will be all dhs fault natch

have been having deep and meaningful contemplations today re my future and work etc but no desicions made yet

has any one been to baby rhyme and bounce (its called sth like that anyway) at their library? is it any good? just found out mine does it and thinking of trying it

Tarlia- yes I was breastfeeding ds1 but at 23 weeks he was still feeding around 8 times a day (S is actually 9-11 times a day at the same stage!) and the doctor prescribed me citalopram which is not compatible with bfing. I fed him for the last time that night and the little swine went instantly down to 3 bottles of formula a day and we weaned him a couple of weeks or so after that! MIL, despite having had PND herself, never once asked me how I was and still thought it ok to shout at me in my own house. Not sure I've ever forgiven her for that and dh stuck his head in the sand. For the first two weeks I went to my Mum and Dad's (our bathroom was being renovated so couldn't stay there anyway) and I wasn't allowed to drive. Couldn't even think of what to make dd for tea when my Mum went out. Please don't let yourself get that bad. Z is how many weeks now? Even if you stopped feeding him tomorrow he has still had loads of bm. Thinking of you. xxx

Stuff in the library is usually quite good reastie - and free!

yes jenny free was my big thinking . got our joint bank statement through and I actually at how much I spend on supermarket shopping

hubbard kept meaning to say well done on the potty training, yes kids can be very clever when it comes to rewards, I remember doing the same thing with Sofia, cost me a fortune in CBeebies magazines before I had to raise the reward bar

reastie laughing at the thought of you chasing old women and demanding they donate to Alices moneybox!! My local library does loads of good baby/ pre-school stuff, rhyme-time, story time, incentives for kids to take books out etc. Its either free or £1, do you go to any local baby groups?

tarlia thinking of you and Z, listen to tad I once got so down when I was depressed that I remember standing in front of the freezer, not understanding what I was supposed to do with the food! I mean I know I'm not the best in the kitchen but it was beyond my usual couldn't be arsedness xx

MizK lovely to hear from you, everything ok now? Oh and you can piss right off if you're thinking of muscling in on me and Idris I watched the Shadow Line, loved it but wasn't exactly a barrel of laughs!!

I'm an utter tightwad and often buy meat that is reduced and freeze it for casseroles, to which I then add cannellini beans to bulk it out etc!

You could timeshare him - wiggles when he's in NI and MizK when he's in the Midlands area!

reastie i used to take a baby mindee to bounce and rhyme, she loved it i hated it! It involved bouncing the baby whilst singing, with everyone sat in a circle. Its good for the biceps!

tadjennyp Not sure he could stand the pace

I am now in official "robbing Peter to pay Paul" territory with regards to money but what's new

at wiggles putting Idris through his paces!

Hi tarlia and mizk nice to hear from you both.

tarlia so sorry you're feeling bad, horrible relatives make everything so difficult. My ILs are evil but they live a long way away and never visit so it's fine. Cake was 9" vanilla, 7"chocolate and 5"coffee.

reastie BF babies do feed more frequently, I don't think that number of feeds is unreasonable. S has the same number but 2 of hers are overnight (grrrr)...! Meal planning is a must IMO, I do a menu for the week on Monday mornings. BTW what are you ruminating over re work etc? are you thinking of not going back?

byronic we went to IKEA today too!! Not in Athens though since wiggles has let us down on that takeover bid! Got some bargains and ate meatballs, what could be better? Heard the most bitter comment from a mother to her 3yo girl, made me chuckle- girl was looking at a pretty pink bed, mother said, yes dear, THAT'S the bed MUMMY wanted to get you but DADDY wouldn't let me. Oh I know that feeling....

emski how is Noah and his napping now? Is he going down any better? You seem much more relaxed over it all.

delia S does the going all sleepy when she goes in her bedroom thing too! As soon as we walk through the door her fingers go in her mouth and her head goes back, so sweet :)

reastie (sorry I keep replying to just you, I am honestly not stalking you) I am similarly about our sainsbuggers bill lately. And I can't really blame Claudia, I think a lot of food has just got massively expensive recently.

I'm on a food economy drive for the next month, for no other reason than I just think what we've been spending is unreasonable (plus meal planning on a budget is in fact somewhat like exercise for my brain these days, how sad am I...don't answer that!).

Thanks for nice messages folks, I feel better for being able to talk about it, and am feeling more hopeful today that this might be just a blip. I know the difference between this and what I was like at the beginning is the single very important fact that I adore Claudia now, and miss her when I'm not with her. That alone is cause to .

D

Evening all,

Well, I managed to escape with no hangover and it seems R coped perfectly fine without us so I've finally managed to catch up.

reastie I've started trying to be much better at meal planning as our supermarket bill is loads - DP even had a go at me about if last week but realised the error of his ways when I pointed out that about fifty quid of it was nappies, wipes, milk, and other random stuff for R. We're eating a lot better too but fruit and veg are not cheap!

Tarlia You are definitely not a failure. You're doing so well coping with all you have going on. You could go and have a chat with your doctor and see what he recommends, if he suggests drugs which are not compatible with breastfeeding then you can decide from there. And like Jenny says, you've given Z an awesome start.

Jane Welcome back! Did I say that before? Well, I mean it! Did anyone start a FB group? I'm an addict...

mizK I've been doing WW but to be honest I'm a bit sick of it. The new points system is a bit annoying. I'm going to try something called Slimpod which is some kind of subliminal thing to stop you eating so much! I'm on top of the healthy eating now, just need to keep away from wine and cheese.

wiggles A random lady gave you a fiver? How bizarre? Are you all crazy o er there?!

Byronic I second the mesh thing. Was it ponyo who suggested? Anyway,well done whoever did? R scoffed a big bit of banana in it today and loved it. Going to try her on some cucumber in it tomorrow I think.

I'm going to try and put my feet up tonight. DP is out at footy and R is off to bed right now so hoping for a chance to do some reading...

Deb funny and sweet re sleepiness in bedroom. It totally messes with her head if I take her in there for another reason though (puked on muslin, need a new one, or ooops thought there were loads of nappies in bag downstairs but apparently not), she does look a bit baffled and confused and looks at me as if to say 'but Mummy I am right in the middle of playing/eating/having bare bum time'.

Toes finally made it to mouth today (hers not mine), they've been heading that way for a while, but they made it! She's also almost sitting on her own, I am just holding her T-shirt a tiny bit...downside...lying on her back playing is now apparently boooooorrrrrrriiiiiiinnnnggg so no more neglect whilst mumsnetting independent play.

Dx

Tarlia sorry have just caught up on other posts and sorry to hear you're feeling down. Although my issues were earlier on, I can relate to what you're saying. I really do hope you can get the help and support you need. For me, I felt much better as soon as I went to the Drs, because it kind of validated what I was feeling as being a real thing, rather than just me being crap. That, and talking about things helped so much that so far I have stayed off the meds, but I know I have a prescription that I can go and collect any time I want to, and that again reminds me that this is real and not just made up/being dramatic/being a failure etc.

Dx

deliaskis Anna will not go on her back at all, the only time she will relent is if shes nappyless and lying on her changing mat. I suddenly have memories of trying to pin down the other two whilst trying to change their nappies

chocoroo Have made loads of money off my children Happens all the time, there's £1 for the baby, go buy her some sweets etc, I swear Sofia is counting down the years until she makes her First Communion, she'll get the money for those Lelli Kelly shoes if she has to smile at every old person from here to Timbuktu!!

Oh bought Anna some stacking rings in Tescos (£3) she loves them, well she loves firing them on the floor, she is still obsessed with the dog, keeps squealing and kicking her legs whenever she sees her.