July 2010: Warning, this thread contains offensive language; 1 wedding, --d--jogging and some Creme Eggs (although we don't know why). Oh and some babies who are nearly 1 year old.

[CakeandRoses]

See? Panicking works!

mlic it doesnt sound awful that you have Friday to look forward to, you do the majority of the caring for your kids without a lot of outside input, You never know having a day without him stuck to you may improve things, he may chill out a little and you may recharge enough to feel that everything is ok, I also dont blame you for not wanting to take E to surestart again.
Here I am freaking out about coping for a week and you do amazingly well, I also understand im trying to give advice and im a fucking crackpot loony!!!

I assure you I am!! Ive had 2 bloody panic attacks already tonight, not a good week to try and lose weight! Wine could help but I only have champagne in the cupboard that I would never open alone, and thats why its been in the cupboard for years!!

I feel a lot better now, dh has text he had to have pizza tonight, they struggled to find anything else cheaper to eat, he cant find anywhere that sells pie!!! This is the worst thing that could ever happen to dh, his favourite food is pie and makes sure he has it every night he is away from home, he doesnt know how he will cope the week without it!!! haha! it made me laugh eventhough his world is ending! May have to get kk to courier some to him!

That name is lovely trude! i love freddie!
Mlic :( please dont feel like you have to bottle up everything for so long til you get to a point like tonight. Shout away on here and one of us is always on facebook if you need to unleash some anger! really can't imagine what it's like but it's understandably very trying. The day will come when you will really like him but it's easy to forget that now
memphis . dublin is really expensive. Only cheap food is chippy or chinese or something. And pie isn't really a 'thing' in ireland as it is over there. You can get them in some chippys and at most hot food deli counters in shops. Don't think he'd like my attempt at pie somehow!
right should have been asleep hours ago but ended up watching beyonce at glastonbury. Night!

Mlic YOU ARE NOT A BAD MAM. you are an amazing mam to have coped as well as you have for so long especially without any help. Def worth speaking to hv or doc though as cld be pnd not helping things. If not they shld hopefully be able to help try to figure out why W is such an unhappy baby. Crysis might also be worth a try.

W - 6th July - Mlic
R - 7th July - Stac
M - 7th July - Spireal
H - 7th July - Albrecht
D - 9th July - Desperate Housewife
G - 9th July - What She Said
L - 12th July - Memphis
J - 18th July - Woodlands
L - 19th July - MelissaM
F - 23rd July - Tsc
S - 24th July - Chulita
G- 26th July - Needle
M - 28th July - Trudyla
B - 31st July - Dythlan

kk I bet he will tell his bosses he doesnt want to do Ireland again! He eats everything but pie is his fail safe home from home food, they couldnt find anywhere to eat last night they are on the ourskirts and its not really an option finding parking for the giant van they drive in! I was looking online for places for them to eat but gave up Ive told them to ask staff at the David Lloyd they are working at!
I didnt get to sllep til 4 and was up at 6!! think im going to get some rescue remedy to take at bed time!

I'm back, 'twas a loooooong weekend.

memphis you'll get into the swing of your dh being away, after a few days you'll find your own routine. No shame in crying for hours after he went though, every time my dh has gone away for a long time I've cried the whole day before and the whole day he'd gone. And you're not a loon, you manage incredibly well considering everything you've got going on!

mlic I had an older friend once say to me that she always loved her children but it took her a long time to like her youngest. There's no shame in that, I don't like newborns at all but I've loved both of mine. W sounds like hard, hard work and while it's horrible that you can't enjoy this part of his life, he will grow out of it. It's great that he can have a day at nursery so you can get your sanity back.
I wouldn't rule out another one either, W might be completely different with a younger one around. L was so freaking awful as a baby DH and I always said that the next one couldn't possibly be worse and if it was just the same at least we'd know how to deal with it!

trudyla I know a very sweet Freddie, 'tis a great name.

DH you wouldn't even know you'd had a baby

needle with S I didn't get any symptoms til gone 7 weeks and then I wished I hadn't

tsc your battles with C don't bode well, L is pretty belligerent already and everyone says they get worse as they get older...

viksam sorry about your poor cat :(

Our weekend was lovely, really fun seeing all our friends but true to form neither child slept well. Both in the same room is a really, really bad idea. We're both absolutely shattered today and DH has an extra long day to top it all off. I'm just going to wear L out at toddler group then have a kip at lunch when they both (hopefully) do. Got a dermo appt for L this afternoon but otherwise not doing much at all.

Morning all

How's everyone today? I'm going to meet some friends to go walking. Its dry but dull here, getting very of the gorgeous weather your all having.

memphis have you tried kalms? Their herbal and good for anxiety a nurse in the hospital suggested them for me.

mlic how are you today?

chul you must be knackered. Do you think the dermatologist might order alergy testing for poor L this time?

tsc I'm quite scared of R getting older as I know it will be a battle with us. Has it got worse snce F was born or do you think its just an age thing?

MLIC I know you didn't come on to hear that you're a good mum but you wanted to know how to bond with W. However, I'll have to quickly tell you that of course you're not a bad mum but that things have been pretty hard for you.

The other thing I wanted to tell you is about my friend who has two boys, 2 years apart. The first one was a dream baby, all went brilliantly, then the second one was such hard work, cried for 18 months and she was constantly worried about not liking him as much as the older one, constantly comparing and so on. He did turn a corner at 18 months and is now (5) a gorgeous little sunshine and she feels very connected with him, despite the rocky start. So give yourself a break and try to stop worrying about it (I know, glasshouses and all, but there you go).

Thanks for the Freddie opinions. We both really like it but had several comments from some German acquaintances that Frederick is a big, rather ugly pig in a famous children's book. I don't want anyone to call him a pig, so I will continue my field study and if more people associate the name with a pig it will have to be dropped

memphis Hope you're feeling better now. I really struggle when DP isn't there so completely understand how you feel. Not long now though.

chul Glad you had a nice time. Shame about the sleeping, but I hope you and DH will get through the day OK and that the babes will go back to their sleep routine of waking you up at 5:30

Hot, hot, hot here. I'm worried that M's room will get too warm at night. Any suggestions? DP thinks putting up a fan would help, but I think fans only work if they are directed at you which obviously we couldn't do with a baby, so I'm not so sure. He thinks it will cool the room down, even when pointed in a different corner.

trudy we point a fan at S, 28 degrees in his room and it doesn't bother him having wind in his face!

stac it's going to be a complete waste of time today but we have to go to keep her on the books.

Can't nap cos the house is a tip with dirty clothes etc, sooooo tired I can't focus properly but as un-houseproud as I am, it can't stay like this...

It was odd this morning - J woke up at 5.12am, grr, so DH went and got him and I fed him and put him down in our bed between us. He seemed wide awake and was pulling at bits of our faces and kicking us, so after a while I'd had enough, took him through and plonked him into his cot and told him it was still the middle of the night and to go back to sleep. I had no illusions that it would work as he seemed so awake - I thought he'd be screaming within minutes. However the next thing I knew it was 7.30 and we could hear him playing happily in his cot.

He's finally just gone down for a nap. I ought to do some cleaning and tidying but it is sooo hot... I think I might just slump in front of the Murray match with my laptop and eat raspberries. It's so odd remembering that this Monday a year ago was my first day of mat leave and I was enjoying lazing on the sofa watching Wimbledon, and here I am a year on still on mat leave for another five weeks!

We just got E's first shoes! they had no closed in white ones which i wanted so we got lovely lime green with butterfly sandals. She loves them! The bloody price of them though. 36 Euro!! just as well my dad was treating her to them!
Woodlands that's brill about J sleep this morn!
mlic it's only natural to feel like that when a baby is constantly crying. There's only so much one person can take. The day at nursery will do you both good as
at least you have that bit of a break from him every week.
Feeling very nervy myself the last 2 days. Im shaking and feel anxious and annoyed and feel on the brink of cracking up. And it's for no reason. Think my period is nearly due so it may be pre menstual hormones. I went to the health shop and got some stuff so hopefully the ferling goes away cos im snapping at everyone and i hate it

I just scraped a big spoonful of mould off the top of some curry paste in the fridge. Is that like jam? can I still use it d'you think?

Saw the shoes on fb fairybrains she looks well pleased with herself :)

mlic I know what you mean about just not wanting to hold them at all, for me it's just when I've had enough of him hitting/clawing/whinging at me and I don't want to sit there with him gnawing on me and it makes me soooooo angry. Usually when I'm tired and he's fighting bedtime.

woodlands what a lovely obedient baby you have what happened in the game? I had to go out so couldn't veg in front of the tele.

kk tell me about it, the price of shoes, we are now on L's second pair, cost £26 then we went into shop 5 days later and got some the same in the sale for £12, but his look trashed already as he likes playing aqnd dragging through gravel so we got him a second pair so he has some for in the garden and some to keep a bit nicer (mum paid for both!!)
I had to tell my sister to leave L alone today she really mothers him over the top when he cries, he hates being carried about and babied and she was pushing his head onto her shoulder which made him cry more, I also asked her to buy him a tramoline for his birthday and as its got rubbish reviews (how bad can it be its a trampoline ffs)she wants to get him a little tykes car with parent handle eventhough he has been bought a trike and a push along sit on quad, I told her I would take it back if she did, thing with her is it isnt generosity more well I will do what I want, well we dont want a house full of bloody bikes and cars, the one she wants to get is only a push him on it one, not one he can scoot on himself so he would be bored within a month once he figure out he can scoot on the other one!!
chulita your dh going away is another kettle of fish and makes me realise im being a pathetic arse, he goes away for months and has a dangerous job, the worst accident anyone in dh's company has had is loss of a finger!! Normally I wouldnt be too bothered but recently I feel like im doubting myself as a mum when on my own, like I dont trust my own judgement if that makes sense.
I think im cancelling the volenteer tomorrow, going to have my friend around for tea, My phone has gone for repair and ive got an awful loan phone, I cant use it as its a nokia and ive never figured them out, but ive forgot before handing it in its my diary too and I have a lot of doc, hospital and dentist appointments sand they arent written anywhere else, I need a filofax!!!
My poor brother has lost his phone, its got all the pics of his dog that died on it and also all the pics of his new baby on it too!!

memphis I didn't mean it like that at all, I meant it as in firstly I know how you feel and secondly it's quite normal to cry when the man you love and the father of your child goes away regardless of how long it's for! You're not being remotely pathetic imo.
Crap about the phone, I write everything on a calendar by the kitchen otherwise I'd forget absolutely everything!

I think I need a kitchen calendar like you chulita. I have all my appointments in my laptop and DP is constantly asking what's going on when, even though I've told him lots of times.

Quick question, how do meal times go with your babies, especially the non baby led eaters? M likes her food and is hungry a lot but it still is such a battle go get it in her cos she gets bored so quickly. Two spoons full and then she gets annoyed and I have to start bloody singing, giving her stuff to play with, dancing, get the cat to look at or if all else fails, put Bare Necesseties on the laptop (I know, I know, I had principles before having her too, and I can't believe I'm doing this). So today, even the Jungle Book didn't work and she just whinged and cried and kept her mouth shut and I got so annoyed I slammed the laptop shut so loudly that she was quiet for a moment. I feel so bad about it now and I apologised to her but it still makes me worried at how angry I can get. Everything seemed such a struggle all at once. The thing is, the day wasn't so bad, so I don't know where that came from. Anyway, my question is, how do your babies eat? Do they just open their mouth or do you have to be an entertainer? BTW, she gets bread with hummus or such to feed herself with, and some goes in but most gets chucked on the floor.

kk Hope you're feeling better soon. Not nice to feel all out of sorts.

woodlands You should def enjoy those last few weeks of maternity leave and not waste it with tidying and cleaning.

chulita Will your DH have to go away again for longer or are those days over?

Not sure about the curry paste by the way but I would think it's OK to use the rest but I'm usually quite relaxed about those things.

chulita I know you didnt mean it in a funny way, but it just puts things in perspective!
He has just called for our nightly call and it didnt even last 2 mins and in that time he told me off for putting Lto bed so early, he is shattered its over 30 degrees here and he hasnt slept all day!
trudyla L doesnt eat for me.not.ever. He had 1 mouthful for me then clamps his mouth shut I got him to eat last week by filling his tray with toys but it didnt work the next day, I try everything, I sing, dance, be stupid, give him toys everything then I shout slam down the bowl and take him out the highchair, he was such a big boy, but he hasnt grown in months

Ooooh, my lord, what a lot to catch up on.

Chulita I'd use the curry paste if it were me. As long as it's cooked to piping hot I'm sure it'll be absolutely fine.

Memphis It drives me MAD when family members do things like that. WRT your DH being away, it's totally normal to feel lost- I go to pieces whenever H does Edinburgh. Shame about your phone call though- I'm sure he was just disappointed to to be able to hear L. Maybe he's just hungry

Trudy G used to be a brilliant little eater, but she's become more difficult to feed in the last few months. I can usually get 2 or 3 spoonfuls in before she loses interest and just wants to throw the food around.
I love the name Frederick, by the way. We've still got our boys names left over from last time, so I think we're going with Alfred Henry for a boy and Kitty Rose for a girl. We're not certain though.

MLIC. Oh my gosh, where to start? ?I don't know how you've coped this far without going completely cuckoo. I think W, as gorgeous as he is would try anyone's patience and I couldn't have stuck it out the way you have. I always think of you and feel guilty when I get cross with G for being grizzly. FWIW, according to my mother I was a loathesome baby, while my younger brother and sister were delightful, yet my m other and I have been incredibly close for ever, and we got on far better when I was growing up than she did with the others. I know you've probably heard a million of these stories, but they can't hurt.
I think W is probably a bright little boy who gets bored easily, but as for suggestions for entertaining him- I wouldn't know where to start. I guess all I can say is hang in there and remember that one day it will pass.

I need nappy advice, but i can't find a forum on here to ask- any ideas? Does anyone else on here use terries or reusables?

needle got to webiste called fillyourpants its my friends reusable nappy website, they have nappy guru's for any questions you have. Oxford Street John Lewis do Start Rite, there are about 15 stockist in London area. Oh and I love the name Kitty!!! If I had a girl I want to call her Dylan, or Georgie as I would have loved a boy called George but dh wont here of it!
Spoke to dh again, he was trying to supervise machinery being reversed, and wanted to 'talk' to L and your right he is starving!

Evening all! I've lost track of the thread a bit after being away last weekend and then busy with various bits at home and work. I've skimmed through it all, and no doubt forgotten all the bits I was intending to respond to.

memphis, my DH is going to Dublin on Wednesday for two days, leaving me alone with M and no family or friends with kids nearby. I'm nervous about being left alone for 48 hours, let alone a week! Or even longer in Chulita's case!

I'd freak out if DH was away for long, I rely on him so much. I'm in awe of those of you who can manage with ease!

Like everyone else, I don't think you're a bad Mam, MLIC. W does sound like a handful and it's impressive just how well you've coped! I really wish I had some useful advise to give, hopefully there'll be a turning point soon and things will click into place.

I'm afraid I can't offer you any advise either, Trudyla. We don't seem to have any problems getting M to eat. It's getting her to stop that's the problem! She's thrown up a few times because she's over-eaten, I'm sure. I'm hoping it's nothing to worry about.

M has had a week of reaching development milestones! She's started to wave, she's saying the word "Cat!" and pointing whenever either of the cats wander through, and then yesterday she built a small tower out of blocks for the first time ever. [proud]

I can't believe my tiny baby is turning 1 year old next week. Where has the time gone??

Lastly, not to panic anyone, but we have less than 25 posts left in this thread...