April 2011; springtime arrivals - blackbird, song thrush, mistle thrush, nipple thrush, nappy thrush...

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

Here we are, our new thread and this time we all have our babies !

I thought we were getting thrush again, but then realised I had let ds's latch get sloppy. He was constantly clicking and tutting at the breast but I was too distracted to notice.

Ds and I made butterfly cakes together this morning, ds got to choose the colour of the buttercream icing ..... It is a very lurid shade of pink and they are covered in sugar strands. You can never have enough sugar!

All this talk of H/P training makes me want to lock DH in the nursery tomorrow & run away to drink wine somewhere! But he's working, and I'm off to see family with F anyway.

I am now determined to get out for a few hours sometime next week. What shall I do...?

Operation Nap-Time went well this morning, he managed about 2 hrs, with a little help to settle again after 40mins.

This afternoon we've had a scream-fest again (although he finally did drop off and is asleep now). He also refused a bottle of expressed earlier. Going to try it again before bathtime. He's got to take a bottle or I'll never be able to leave!

Well we survived the overnight wedding trip with J and dog. God am I glad to be home. J had a complete meltdown last night and screamed solid from 5.30-7 but apart from that I'm just shattered. I feel like I've reached a new level of sleep deprivation..

Those of you with more than one DC ... Please reassure me that they do eventually start sleeping through the night. I just can't imagine it's ever going to happen. I feel like i should be doing more to help the process along but I'm not sure what. These sleep routine type books make me feel stressed. Any tips? Or will it just eventually happen on it's own? J is napping well in day but I'm wondering if I ought to try keeping her awake more.

daisy I personally wouldn't keep her awake, tired babies don't settle well at night.
Yes they do start to sleep through, eventually. We are already getting 6-7 hours from T regularly, which we did from DS1 at this age. His sleep regressed horribly when he was 4 months though and was awful awful awful for about a year. I think a lot of it was to do with the fact that I had really bad PND and just wanted to sleep all the time, so I didn't even start doing a proper bedtime with him until he was about 10 months old - something I'm not planning to repeat with T.
By the time DS1 was 21 months he was sleeping 8-8 every night without fail, and he has done ever since - bar illness.

Petal - film and haircut?

moley how was the haircut? I so need one too. I'm just stocking up on ebm so I can combine a haircut with some time out to do something nice. I'm definitely feeling the need! Hope your DH coped fine without you too and that it boosts his confidence a bit.

daisy I think the cumulative effect of broken sleep really starts to take its toll around now. S is sleeping longer stretches than she ever has but I don't feel any less tired yet. Don't worry, J's sleep will improve and she will eventually sleep through.

I was shocked too to find out that 'sleeping through the night' can mean different things to different people. Some people take STTN as sleeping a 6 hour stretch, while I consider it doing a full 12hrs without waking. So when people were telling me their baby was STTN at 6wks I was wondering what I was doing wrong.

Personally, I think 'sleep begets sleep'. I know S settles faster when she has had plenty of sleep in the day. I also live by the rule of 'never wake a sleeping baby', if S is asleep I figure it's probably because she needs to be. If she gets woken (usually by her noisy big brother) then she's so grumpy until the next sleep and I haven't noticed that she sleeps any better that night. I wouldn't worry about J getting too much sleep in the day at this age. I still don't wake DS from his daytime sleep as he sleeps well at night (he's 2.5). I think if/when he starts to be a pain to get down at night, or waking really early, then I'll think about curtailing his daytime sleep but until then I let him sleep as much as he needs.

I've always found the nightimes easier than daytimes with regard to sleep. DS didn't sleep in his cot for daytime naps until he was nearly 1 and I think S will follow suit. She will got to sleep in the sling, or on my shoulder with me pacing/jigging, but she wakes 10 mins after I transfer her to the bouncy chair or cot or pram. So if I want her to sleep for a decent chunk I have to keep her on me. Petal what are your hot Operation Nap tips?

DH and I have both been struck down with a D&V bug, it has not been a happy household. Thankfully S has, for the most part, been a brilliant baby all day and my amazing mum drove down from Leeds to Oxford after I sent a desperate text at 6am (the point we realised that neither of us could safely hold S and that no one we know in Oxford who could help didn't have small children of their own). Suffice to say my thinking cap is on for a big thank you present for my mum!

DH is still pretty bad, I still feel crap but can finally (I hope) keep liquids down and feel perkier. I know that us both being ill at the same time had to happen sometime, but did it really have to be so bleugh, a cold would have done!

Sleep:
S is a very bad day time napper, he's just to interested in everything. He usually has 40-60min naps and I usually have him on the sofa next to me or on his activity blanket in the living room. He then has at least one nap which is at least 2hrs, usually around lunch time. He does get grumpy and harder to settle in the evening if he doesn't nap but he is on the whole a good sleep at night going a good 8 hr stretch.

DH helping:
He has his good days and bad days! The bad days I could happily through things at him however he does take S for at least an hour in the evening for 'Daddy Cuddles' which is part of S's night routine before the last feed of the day, he also takes him for a couple of hours on a Saturday morning, usually for a good long walk, to give me chance to have some alone time watch F1. I take the bulk of the nights during the week but at weekends it's 50/50, I've also started getting in the bath with S which means that DH has to dry him after, he was reluctant to get involved with bath time at the start, not a clue why!

(DH also gets lots of points as he changed the poo nappy at 6am despite both of us throwing up constantly since midnight!)

hope you are feeling better soon.

I'm just beginning to realise just how lucky I am with dh. He is totally hands on with B. I often wake up to find him already feeding him, changing him. He has also done most of his baths since we got home from hospital. He let's me sleep in at the weekends and still does all the ironing!

I also have a wonder baby! I'm very lucky with my boys.

Fathers day tomorrow. I haven't quite got everything I planned to for dh. Had a teary moment earlier in the week when the photomugs I ordered for dad and FIL arrived. So tomorrow will be a bit bitter sweet for us.

B has slept practically all day today, but he didn't sleep more than half an hour at a time yesterday. So he must just be catching up. Might also have something to do with the bailleys mum has been forcing on me this week.

Home tomorrow too and dh back to work on Monday. So normal service shallresume and I have to say I'm looking forward to it!

Awww get well soon beetle

M had his first vaccines this morning, temp went up to 38 briefly tonight but boob, stripping off and aircon sorted that and we're back to a more respectable 36.9 now. I want DH to come home :(

DH and parenting. Well. He does do bathtime and massage. Last weekend he did night nappies. He usually does supermarket shopping and cooks in the evening (because the boob vampire comes out at night). However he can sleep through anything, works 14 hour days and his work phone has to be surgically removed from him (he has been known to answer it whilst DTD). There's no chance of a lie in because weekends are his lie ins even when I get up before him 7 days a week. Whenever M cries be hands him over assuming that boob is required and he gets annoyed when I dont drop everything immediately to attend to the baby when baby is no longer entertaining. He does let me go to the gym though. What I find toughest is his lack of initiative. I know he's tired, I know he's working a lot, I know if he screwed up at work it could cause an international incident but that doesnt really excuse ignoring us when he comes infir half an hour while he showers and changes etc. Nor does it make it okay to sit and play in his xoom or something while I'm feeding because once I'm done feeding I'll be handing M over so I can get household stuff done and he'll still have time to ignore his son play. He can't tidy up after himself either. If he eats a yoghurt whilst sitting on the sofa the pot and spoon will stay on the coffee table until I move it, and I'm constantly finishing the washing up only to find he's hoarded a mug, plate or glass and just not mentioned it despite being very aware of what I'm doing! Men!

The gym, when I can, is my alone time. I get to feel a bit like my pre-baby self, there's noone touching me like at the hairdressers etc, and it gives me a nice boost of endorphins. Plus I'm out for 2 hours max, DH can't get in touch (although I do have my phone next to my yoga mat but don't tell him!), he gets to give M a bottle and he's even got the hang of tying our stretchy for instant babycalming. M naps quits well when wrapped with a vague pattern...ish. I'm convinced one is emerging.

Does anyone else's baby spend ages staring at nothing? DS is fascinated by the inside of his pram carrycot, the tiles on the wall in the bathroom and other unlikely sources of visual stimulation.

lis hugs.

beetle how awful. Get well soon both of you.

frak S gets a stare on. I look where he's looking and it might just be the wall. Odd!

caramel S is the same during the day. Will sleep for hours being held but if I put him down he's awake within 20 mins but luckily he's pretty good at night. Tho last night he fell asleep on me after his 9pm feed. I put him down about half ten and he woke at 11. Had to bounce him back to sleep but then he slept til 2. Whoop. Thought he would wake at midnight!

Hope your dp's / DH's have a lovely fathers day. We are off to the PIL for a barbe with bil, his wife and our nephew, and DH's aunt, uncle and cousin who are over from Scotland.

Lis hope today is ok particularly for your dh.

Beetle get well soon. I had d and v a couple of weeks ago but was lucky enough to be staying at parents so Mum got up and looked after L until I had to feed her. Mums really are fantastic.

Frak L stares at nothing all the time. I'm putting it down to shadows on wall that I've not noticed or guardian angel!

My alone time now consists of a nice soak in the bath. Who would have thought a few months ago that I would count a bath as a luxury?!

I have a stinking cold right now so even though L slept really well through the night I still woke up loads sneezing and blowing my nose!

Glad to hear you are feeling better beetle, and hurrah for your lovely mum. It wouldn't even occur to my mum to come and help in a situation like that.

I guess today will be a very bittersweet day today for your dh Lis. I hope he can think of his dad with a smile.

What we do today depends on the weather. When it's sunny it beautiful, but it quickly turns to rain as well.

I loves to look at the sunlight shining through the blinds and at our floor lamp. He smiles and coo's at them. Just incase you didn't know (i didnt first time round) The staring could be one of the signs of being tired. I call it the thousand yard stare. If you notice this, it can be easier to get them to nap at that point, rather than when they are crying with tiredness.

Thanks everyone for the advice

Well J slept practically all day yesterday and last night was her best sleep yet. She went down at 7, quick dream feed at 10, feed again at 4 (a whole 6 hours yay!) an then up for the day at 6. DH did say she was making noises from 3 but I figure if she didn't wake me she couldn't have been that hungry right? (I did have my earplugs in tho, does that make me a bad mummy?!).

I feel vaguely human today for having had 6 hours of interrupted sleep I hope that J can start to keep this up tho I won't hold my breath.

Hope everyone has a lovely fathers day.

Catch you all soon

Thanks all, much better here, looks like S has thankfully avoided the bug and my wonderful mum has just headed back up the road. She did have an entertaining phone call with my Gran who asked was I still breast feeding S and was rather shocked that I was, followed by, "well is Beetle wearing a mask when she's feeding?" (!) and "Have they eaten any salad?" Anyone guess which newspaper she reads?

S stares too, he especially likes the contrast of our black bed frame against the white wall, he's been known to get very annoyed while feeding if my arm blocks his view!

Daisy that's brill about J's sleep last night, it's amazing to think that just 6 hours in a block is enough to restore humanity!

Frak I see your yogurt pots and raise you Irn Bru cans...DH has an addiction, the seems to spread over every surface of the house no matter how often I collect up the recycling. Probably my fault for living in Edinburgh for a year and introducing him to the 'Bru!

Thanks beetle. Glad to hear you are feeling better and s avoided the bug. Thank god for mums too- don't know what I would do without mine at times, am very grateful she is nearby.

DP very happy with his fathers' day coffee machine Too bad I'm being a ratty cow

Dunno what's up with me but I'm just so tired all the time and feel crap. It's rubbish. H is sleeping ok so maybe it's just me, am starting to really think that Cerazette has messed me up.

Another wall starer here, you give him something exciting to play with and he just wants wall He's napping at the moment, I so wish I could tell how long he was going to sleep for, if I'd known he was on a two-hour stretch I'd have gone for a nap!

R is another starer!! Also the inside of the pram and my mums kitchen tiles are particular favourites!!

Beetle Glad you're feeling better, DP and I had D&V right at the beginning of my pregnancy (I didn't actually know I was pregnant!) and it was horrendous so I'm not sure how you coped with a baby as well!! We ended up sleeping in DSS's room because I'd vomitted all over our bed, not that we did much sleeping, more like shifts in the bed and bathroom!!

Frak & Beetle Crumbs on the worktops......! DOES MY HEAD IN!! We have perfectly good chopping boards that can be used for sandwich preparation but the worktop seems to suit DP just fine! And he always manages to find a pair of socks or a t-shirt that needs washed, just as I've finished all the loads!

R is doing well on the sleep front, she has now slept 3 nights out of 5 from 11-6, last night she was up once at 4.30am which isn't too bad so hoping for another 7 straight hours tonight. Slightly concerned that her injections are on Tuesday and are probably going to throw everything out of sorts :(

I know what you mean about different definitions of STTN caramello, I used to think it meant for 12 hours straight, but finding more often than not people are referring to an 8 hour stretch or so.

Well today just turned shit. DH's aunt put s on pram half hour before a feed when he was grumpy and I said he won't settle. So mil sats I'll take him round the block in the pram. S is nearly 6 weeks but I've only left him with his dad and I'm not ready to let him out of my sight yet. Is this wrong? Am I being possessive? I let everyone hold him. My response was to say not yet granny and I shot out to him. She's now not talking to me and wont hear an apology. She pointed at me and said uncalled for. I don't want to apologise just to explain I'm not ready for anyone to do that yet. If she had even asked it might have been different but to just assume she can take him. But then why is it bothering me so much. She is his gran and they will be looking after him when I go back to work and I have to let him go sometime. I told dh I want to feed s and go home but Scottish relatives are here and fil hasn't had hos gifts yet, to add insult to it all s settled in his pram for the aunt. Ffs. I had s bought to me upstairs for a feed and he cried as soon as I took him where he was happy with his daddy. Now daddy is pissed at me too I think. Argh. Way to go ruining his first fathers day. It was an instinctive reaction.

The longer I sit here the more wound up and upset I am getting. I wonder if mil told her sister I don't put him down enough etc and that's why she put him in his pram. He's my baby and it's my routine. Oh shut me up someone.

Kitty I hope you're feeling a bit better. The first time my PIL took S for a walk (at my suggestion) I sobbed for 20 of the 30 minutes they were gone. I'm getting better at leaving him with other people for a bit but am on edge until I have him back. And you're right, he's your baby and you know him best, unfortunately people always seem think they know best when it comes to babies!

kitty your baby, your rules, your final decision. My MIL waltzed in, stole my baby and went for a walk. I cried the whole time M was gone and made DH call them back. She didn't even let me say goodbye

Father's day shit here too. I let DH have a lie in, midday his work phone goes, he's off on a helicopter and not back til 5pm. This week is going to be terrible :(

Thanks ladies. Dh just cane to check on us. He spoke to his mum. She said I had no right talking to her like that and he said he told her I tried to apologise. Oh had to stop cos mil came up to see me. We said our bit and cleared the air.

Oh Kitty! poor you! I know how you feel. My friend minded B during FILs funeral last week and I just about had a meltdown when we left the service and she wasn't standing outsdide ready to hand him back. She'd gone for a walk and took 10 whole minutes to get back to me. people must have thought I was a nut job pacing back and forth outside the crematorium. I had no idea I would feel like that, I've been pretty laid back up til now.

Me and my mum had words last night :(. She basically said I was leaving DH to do too much with B and I should be jumping to his attendance as well as Bs and there was no need for me to be having a nap through the day as B sleeps for 5 hours through the night . It's a running joke (I don't find it funny) that my family refer to DH as "poor DH" because he does his fair share of housework. I tried to tell mum that when DH isn't at work he wants to do most of the baby stuff as I get to have B all day when he's away, but she is of a different generation. If the dynamic in my relationship was anything like my mum and dads, I'd be sole cook and bottle washer with very little assistance and be jummping every time DH wanted something. Apparently I'm on the road to divorce if I carry on this way! I really wanted to tell her to fuck the fuck off but I didn't, I went to my bed and sulked like a teenager. Think we stayed one day too many :(.

I checked with DH, and he doesn;t want to divorce me thankfully. And he is more than happy to do the stuff he does. I'm back on night feeds tonight as he's back to work tomorrow though!

Sorry rant over! Really hope my mum doesn't MN!

That's terrible lis You shouldn't get that from your own mum. We are home now and I'm enjoying it just being us three again.

Oh dear, some not very good Father's Days.

Lis don't pay any attention. Some mothers just think they can say what they want. DH's mum criticises everything he does with L leaving him feeling crap and like he can't even look after his own daughter!

Kitty as others have said your baby your rules. I'm selective about who I feel comfortable going off with L and mil is one I'm still getting used to! You have every right to say no to them if you're not happy. It's not as if you shouted ffs stop you're not going anywhere!!!

Had an ok day here apart from when I tried to have a bath and L started screaming! Had to jump out and feed her and then get back in again after

She reckoned she wasn't suggesting she take him anywhere. That she was just saying that to my 2yr old nephew. And she said it's how I spoke and not what I said. We cleared the air but then when she was holding s he started nuzzling her. Properly trying to suck her thru her top and everyone laughed so she left him doing it. I kept saying s no that's granny. Grrr, I am already over the ' you'll get nothing there your dad used it up' Glad today is over. S has decided to have a late night.

Kitty, people kept doing that to me for the first few weeks and I had to keep snapping when people just would not take the hint and stop saying they would take H out. I think people just don't get it but how dare your MIL get shirty about it. I'm glad your DH stood up for you.

I had a mini set to with my sister when I'd been trying to settle H wile we were out somewhere and she threw herself on the sofa, he woke and she immediately said 'i think he needs to come to auntie!'. She wouldn't drop it and eventually I just snapped and said 'Fine, just take him AGAIN'. Apparently I was very rude We've cleared the air since then but I was really cross.

Lis, your mum should butt out. Every couple is different and if it works for you then keep doing it.

H had a good night but I've been on the sofa since 4 as I had to put him in his chair. He's snotty and it's proving difficult to get him back in the cot after his feed as he snorts unhappily and doesn't sleep well if he's flat on his back.