The CRESH spa and creche: we ALL deserve crap ham

[FannyPriceless]

Enter all ye ESHes. We've been Barren, we've been Pregnant - now at last we are Child-Rearing.

• Come share your questionable tips on raising a real live baybee!
• Compete with Cunty to take control of the bad mummy crown!
• Eat crap ham - after all, you deserve it!

Could you get some goats to keep the grass down, Fanny? And borrow next doors facilities for the horse? And keep chickens

I for one am happy to welcome lightning into the fold.

This witchetty hundle is looking good for you lightswitch

Pygmy goats! Oh that would be so lovely Fanny. I would like Pygmy goats, chickens and dogs in my fantasy country home.

Light you sound like a good sort to me. Welcome.

Alps not looked in mirror yet as baybee decided to have a lie in due to lack of night sleep. My lesson of the day is not to give up the electric vaporiser yet. Text did annoy me only because I wasn't planning on swanning off to the shops. TBG thought boobs would have magic effect. Was glad to prove to him that actually they don't. Feel he understand why I am so obsessed with getting her to nap now. Ha.

I'd just like to point out at this juncture that the sight of Justin Beiber makes me want to hurl. Now I don't have a weak stomach, but my dear! That HAIR!

we have a toof!!!!

Ooh...am I in???? So while I'm here in the common room I'll just get me first year fagging duties out the way . Anything else needing doing?

Hello Casper. I lives in the northern bit of our fair capital these days...though I grew up the home counties and did the horsey thing when I was a kid, so I do know the difference between a fetlock and a forelock. That said, the most horse action I get these days is the odd gallop down a beach on a rental nag when on me hols...

Reet. Am off oot for the day...we have decided that it is Very Important for our PFB's development that he spend time away from his mother in order to ward off separation anxiety (which can start at six months, oh yes it can), so for his sake I have had to persuade a friend to come and spend an hour or 2 being pampered in a day spa before going for a boozy lunch, whilst Dad gets the day dealing with baby input and output. Things I do for my child. We mothers give, and we give and we don't stop giving...

light you sound just the ticket, I think it was the slightly stale crackers that swung it for me.

Anyhow, needless to say, given appearance to toof, last night's sleeping did not go to plan at all - Artie ended up in bed with us. Mind you, he then slept 12-6, so didn't do too badly, just refused to be left alone.

I want pygmy goats!!!!! and ducks.

Yey for teef! Well done Artie.

Crap ham, value pate & stale crackers eaters - I give you this:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1224966-Bumpy-pram-ride-worried

Now I've seen a lot of shite on mn this last week - but that just made me laugh.

Yes, MrP is determined to buy the land despite me trying to tell him that it is of fuck all use for the pony plans. I do worry that it will simply be a pain to look after, and I too had the thought about goats! (Haven't mentioned it to him yet.)

Here is a sad anecdote about me and my deprived childhood. My first pet was.. a goat. My second pet was... a goat. (Snowy and Nanny, in case you are wondering.) When I asked Dad for a dog he instead bought me a collar and lead for one of the goats. I seriously used to take the goat for walks. Just as difficult as it sounds, by the way.

So anyhoo, I know about goats. Maybe will get some then.

alps I was actually going to reply to the stately home thread! Only because I know someone perfect for the job, except she would never work for someone nouveau. One does not buy a stately home. And if one does, it is bloody well called a country house, not a friggin stately home. It reminded me of the definition of middle class being 'someone who buys their own furniture'.
[firmly middle class emoticon]

hurray for artie's tooth!

no wonder my child was in pain, I've just discovered what looks like fangs poking through both sides of top gum! Nothing at the front mind, just canines. Awkward child. One bottom front tooth and two fangs!

Welcome lighter

sorry not ignoring anyone, but just visit while at ILs

God, just got sucked in by the vaccines thread in AIBU. Must escape!

Welcome lighter ! I'm liking your separation anxiety strategy. I feel I should employ it sooner rather than later. MB showing no signs but I figure why wait! Plus sounds good.

I can't help feeling that lighter is to pure to be pink. Look at the selfless way she's dealing with the baybee. :(

P'raps bit too selfless? Do we need further evidence?

CU Justin Bieber is the devil in disguise. He must be look at his leagues of followers.

Well, I'm back from my tough day away away...and am feeling rather sleepy after my nice steak, chips and red wine lunch. Happy to confirm that my darling child didn't appear to miss me one bit, so I clearly need to repeat the experience to ensure that we continue to ward off the separation fears...

Umm...Curly, does your child also react strangely to daylight and garlic by any chance? Good at daytime naps?

On the subject of teeth...how long does this teething thing take? My sprog seems to have been drooling and chewing on his hands for about 3 months with no signs of any pearly whites as yet. One day I would like to have a photo of him without a bib round his neck to catch the rivers of drool...

ha, sounds familar. squeaks had gum grief since 3 months. First tooth at almost 11 months, and now, apparently, in a strange order. i have now decided the fangs are too far back to me fangs and are actually molars. But not even a hint of upper incisors in sight. Little freak.

Three of us abandoned the sprogs to unite for a spa trip in March. Was bliss!

Yay for Artie's gnasher! We're still gummy. Think the dribbling is worse cos of the cold he's got. The amount of drool is enough to sink a small yacht. I kid you not. Cos is it sharp?

fanny's bed

gin

What I don't understand is when MrP had that photo of himself taken.

Mr FP resembles the older version of the man from the "joy of Sex" books.

Did you Google bed + ham?