The CRESH spa and creche: we ALL deserve crap ham

[FannyPriceless]

Enter all ye ESHes. We've been Barren, we've been Pregnant - now at last we are Child-Rearing.

• Come share your questionable tips on raising a real live baybee!
• Compete with Cunty to take control of the bad mummy crown!
• Eat crap ham - after all, you deserve it!

another grump here. Brought child home from nursery with head lice and chicken pox warnings. one case of each in her room. And they pointed out red spots on squeaker's face. She is usually quite spotty, so I'm not sure. But I'm dreading the prospect of having an itchy, poxy, grumpy baby.

finally nice here too cos. But I'm working outdoors tomorrow, so not so bad.

Oh blimey curls :( , I was hoping headline would be something years away.

How did the ride go boxy? Hope he was sane enough. We did a rather blowy, wet 60 minute circuit in 40 and some that in a merc came at us round a bend at 70 and swerved in to a ditch to avoid. Visibly shaken. Good. You'd have thought if I can see him, he could've seen a fat bird on a giant Orange nag. It terrifies me that one day bear will be riding behind me and I will have only 10 seconds to get him on the verge. :(

It's all abOut the hi viz laydees! Equisafety are doing a new range with Polite notice on them and from a distance it looks like Police and it works a treat.

Gotta bath sproggo and put to bed. Laters.

Ride was luvverly, Alps. I've got a good'un with little horse - must have worn himself out with his unusual dance moves in the field this morning! He just plodded along through the woods, with only one little spook at a bird. The bluebells have gone now, and the elderflower and honeysuckle is out. The woods smelt lovely.

Big horse was 110% traffic proof, and if a car came round a bend a bit quick he would just glare at it. It's amazing the number of people who would sheepishly say 'sorry, didn't see you,' even though he had a backside like the white cliffs of Dover. Little horse is not so convinced by loud vehicles - I think he came from a VERY quiet bit of Ireland. He held himself together admirably though when we got caught in a bin-lorry-pincer-movement when the village was being cleaned up for the Royal Wedding. I still wouldn't be overly happy to have something fly round a blind bend at 70 though.

Have only just sat down. Kids still on Caribbean time.

Then you should be on rum time boxy !

Help please, WTF do one year olds want for their birthday? All Grandparents have been asking what to get. We still haven't got anything. Anyone found any good toys etc that will hold their attention for a while? Squeaks has quite a lot of toys, but not so many items that actually "do" things or that she can interact with. Personally, I think she wants a climbing frame

BTW, hopeful of a Joules, Yorkshire clothing etc fest tomorrow!

Entire collection of Disney DVDs???!! :)

Curly if you don't mind me asking, can you tell me what the condition you suffer with is? I can't remember exactly but is it something to do with arthritis? One of my cousins has it very badly (been hospitalised) and I think it is stopping her conceiving due to drugs she has to take. I didn't want to say too much but thought of you immediately and wondered if you had any advice.

If only she'd sit still for them honey! Might be a nice gift for me though...

Yes, I have rheumatoid arthritis. I am not aware of any drugs directly affecting conception, but most of the ones I am familiar with - and I am on three myself - should not be taken while TTC/pregnant/BFing because of possible effects on baby. Please feel free to message me on FB (or look up my email on there) if you want to ask any specific questions/share more info on your cousin. Or put her in touch with me directly if you think I can help. Sometimes it's just good to talk to people who have been through the same. I've been hospitalised myself with it, so know how awful that can be

It's a bit of a weird one, because I don't know that to exactly be the case but I know she suffers badly from it and can't exist without alot of drugs to ease her pain. She is the closest in age to me out of my 30 cousins (my mum is one of 10!) and she looked so sad holding my boy when we were over. My mum said she thought there might be problems and I wish I could say or do something, but I don't want to interfere when I don't really know her well enough in a way to say something like that. I might start an email and just see how she is. Maybe will be easier to talk to her about stuff like that on email.

curly I'm very envious! The Joules sale is fantastic - cords for 14 quid? Good white "sturdy" shirts for 11? Fankewe! I don't know what to get him for his birthday either, he has soooo many toys and like you, suspect he wants a climbing frame or maybe a pond to throw himself in to.

5:45 am wake-up call for mummy! What shall we do mummy? Why don't you have a poo and I'll pull the buggy on myself trapping my leg. Then I'll phone grandma by hitting re-dial. Chase the dogs you say?

boxer Traffic-proof is the most important thing in my book and thankfully she doesn't give a shit about cars, but, maybe a cat in the bushes will put her in the middle of the road. I'm glad you had a good ride though, getting back in the saddle is always good for the soul! I had four F16's come over us on sunday quite low and obviously that's another 10 second warning thing, just time enough to "brace" but she was fine, but then tbh they're quite unlikely to actually crash in to me unlike some prick racing home from work taking a short cut.

silv I was doubly angry because it was a farm vehicles only road, so tbh I'd expect one car an hour (or tractor obviously). I've seen the "Polite" stuff but the Dutch word for police is "politie" and I don't think they'd see the funny side...

I'll see your 5.45 and raise you a 4.10

We are getting all outdoor stuff for Rastus for his birthday. Found an inflatable activity centre at ELC which is very exciting, and we are getting a swing and a sand/water activity table too. Having a family party as we are not having him christened and I've asked people not to bring him presents as we have enough plastic shite already that isn't what the day is all about.

How about some fetching multi-coloured plastic for the garden - Little Tykes do a variety of excellent climbing/sliding/ride-on/in stuff. Swings go down well too if you have a tree.

Hom has built a swing in our not-dead tree (looks dead but every year manages to squeeze out some blossom), however because of the branch trajectory, one rope is longer than the other so Rastus tends to follow an ellipsis rather than back and forth. He rather enjoys it but it's not ideal.

Oooh, like the sound of the inflatable...

We already have a swing on a metal frame. She only likes it in small doses - a few passes and she starts crying. I don't want loads of people buying her presents, but the grandparents have been pestering me and she's already got the things they'e suggested (ride-on etc). I think she needs something she can sit/stand in front and get interactive. She's always at the coffee table or telly stand, fiddling with whatever she can get her hands on.

I quite like this

Right, I'm off to hobnob around the countryside!

cas this is it

What about one of these. It also comes in pink

Anyway, should wear squeaks out nicely I reckon. Definitely thinking about one for Rastus.

Love them both! Right, I think it's time to prepare a wish list

p.s we are definitely candidates for one of those giant garden trampolines - tempted to get one now for SFF and I to play on!

OK, this time I am switching of the PC.

Well an even worse night (an hour and twenty minutes of screaming before he went to sleep) has lead to toof number 2!

And our dishwasher is bust. Arses. Big fat hairy arses.

Artie is getting a balance bike from us. yes he will be too young for it. No we don't care.

Life without a dishwasher? Jeeez, that's worse than the screaming. :(

Cossie Bear has a rocking horse which he can't ride until I'm convinced he's not going to fall off. He's had it since xmas. Congratulations on the toof - what a shame he felt he needed to tell you all!

Cosmo you have my sympathy on the lack of dishwasher...ours died when the Squib was about 3 months old...and then just after we'd replaced that the combi boiler packed up, leading to lots of running up and down stairs with pans of water - a bath is part of the bedtime routine round these parts, and we discovered that a small baby needs considerably more hot water for his bath than either of his parents did for a stand up asian style bucket wash down in the shower...

Curly dunno if it's a helpful suggestion or not, but for my god(less) daughter's 1st birthday/naming ceremony pressie, I got her an antique children's book - figured it would be something she might (eventually) come to treasure for ever, rather than a toy that would only last a few months. Got the idea after I found the early edition Through The Looking Glass that my uncle gave my brother when he turned one - he's still got it, and it was so nice to see the inscription in the front written to him all those years ago by my uncle. Wouldn't necessarily have to be an antique book, but maybe something a bit classic that they might treasure one day - esp as at 1 year old they don't really even know it's their birthday yet...

I know, dishwashers are one of life?s essentials surely?? I mean, washing up my hand is so fecking Uncivilised!

curls I got my friend's tot a moneybox with his name on. One of those dinosaur ones which integrates the child's name so Williamasaurus !

Do you know what, I?m actually feeling really shitty at the moment ? I am torn between hating being back at work and enjoying being back at work, I?m tired, life seems to be just an endless round of housework and attempting to get the boy to sleep. We were talking last night and during the week we just get the shit part of parenting, nothing enjoyable -we pick up an overtired boy and attempt to play for half an hour before giving up and wrestling him to sleep (I hate bed time with a passion, I always finish it stressed and cross). As soon as he?s in bed we make tea, tidy up etc and by the time I?ve finished eating I?m falling asleep on the sofa.

We both have decent jobs and yet we never have any money, I keep trying to save and every time I do it goes on some disaster. We have a patch of damp we?ve been supposedly saving to get fixed for since I was pregnant and it?s still there ? the money keeps getting diverted on to something more urgent. Don?t get me wrong we have enough to live on and I know people are far worse off, but why is there no spare??

Please ignore this self centred winge, I just needed to offload.

Oh good, it?s someone?s birthday

Cos - utter disaster!

Cas on a cheesy note we got TT a charm bracelet early on - an adult one, with the idea we can add charms for special occasions and achievements later on. She only has a 'being born' charm, first Christmas and first birthday one so far, but I can see me buying her charms for things like 'first time she's picked for a sports team' or passing important exams. As for gardens full of plastic stuff, we are the holders of that crown! Our garden is nearly an acre, and family seem to be on a mission to fill it! (House is v small and I have vetoed all large 'inside' toys.) My mum bought us this for Christmas last year!

Sorry Cos, cross post. I was saying disaster about the dishwasher. If it's any consolation, we did our budget last night and basically its a good job we like our home, as it is going to cost us every penny we have once I've gone back to work and paid for childcare. Bummer. Profligate spending is a thing of the past for me now!