Dec 08 Mums - Introducing our new joiners, TrudyV and Al Fresco...

[Beans33]

Hope this is ok? Thought it was subtle enough for the wider MN and not offensive!!

Oh ladies. I know all I've done recently is come on and moan, but S has turned into doom child as well now. Last couple of weeks she's been taking gradually longer to settle to bed, but as DH does that I leave him to deal with it. Now it's bath at 7, stories, sleepy music and milk, then she jumps out of bed and comes to the top of the stairs and starts shrieking "daddy cuddle" until someone goes up and puts her back to bed. Repeat for about an hour and half. Today tried bribing her with a charlie and lola book if she stays in bed, no dice. Tried punishments - no Cbeebies. She's out of the bed and wailing mummy cuddle even as I'm on the way to the door. Said If you carry on like this, we'll have to put the sides back on your bed and make it back into a baby cot. Is that what you want? She says yes. So we've done that, she's been wailing at the top of her voice for 10 minutes and I'm worried she'll wake E. But for feck's sake, we will not spend the entire evening repeatedly going up and down putting her into her bed. She had this cracked, why has it just gone so far to pot?

Any ideas for how to stop it? It's got into a [pattern that no matter how tired she is, once she's come out of bed once she will do it again and again until she finally gives up after literally an hour and a half and I want my evenings back, having only just regained them from E. I can't bear the sound of her screaming like this and when we go up, she says of course I'll stay in bed, but never does. Am getting v pissed off with her. And it bodes ill for being able to go to a party on THursday that we were trying very hard to be able to do... :(

have just looked back very briefly and wowza Deids that wedding sounds amazing!

WG, G will be fine, when S did her first roll off our bed her fall was broken by a hardback book

Beans happy birthday you old trout Glad the Christening itself went well, even if there were ructions at the party.

right we finally get to have our tea, evenings are such a write-off at the moment. What with DH getting home at about 7-7.30, then the epic of kids to bed, then making tea once they've stopped pinging us up and down the stairs, then getting round to eating, then me to bed at about 10. Is it any wonder we've only shagged twice since E was born - I'm too busy trying to get some sleep, poor fella doesn't get a look-in... (sorry, emergency glass of wine speaking there...)

JJ I wish I had words of wisdom. Shocker of an evening here. DS has broken out in chicken pox spots, I made matters 1000 times worse by telling him that it meant he couldn't go to his grandparents this weekend and see all his cousins. Cue hours of wailing. And then DH phones to say he's had an accident at football and is on his way to hospital. Where he still is, and I can't get someone to come over and mind the kids so I can go with him as we have the pox and don't want to infect anyone else. I think he's concussed and it's his birthday tomorrow . And I am at worst possible stage of pg for chicken pox so have to trot off to hospital tomorrow for tests and jabs.

Bollocks.

And on a much cheerier note happy birthday beans

Nooo, last time I looked there were 888 posts, now there are 927!! I stand no chance on the thread counter with this sort of slacking!

Ironic that after all my waffling about saying sorry, I noticed Max has started to say "sorry Mummy" in a very genuine voice when he inadvertently smacks me in the mouth with a car etc. He sounds genuiney distressed to have hurt me and it absolutely melts my heart! I can live with that kind of sorry

Beans finger food rocks IMO. With DD I did the whole puree thing, but DS had real food from the off and he's never looked back. He's not always a big eater but he has a very happy relationship with food, which is all I could ask for. The vicar is gorgeous - love it! Glad DD2 was good for the christening but god, what a tosser FIL is. What does DH think - does he cringe or is just his old dad being dad? Good for you standing up for your mum. Happy Birthday! (Phew, just in time!). No birthday story from you would be complete without a poo reference!

Vag hope you've cooled down now. I'm much more careful these days after some painful moments. Re tempers, I don't always control mine, but I do find an effective damper is thinking about what a shit I'll feel later, and how I'd feel if it was DH behaving like that. That last one is quite clincher - I don't want DH thinking he's married a monster. Fortunately these days I feel that way far far less - there must be something in this Mindfulness lark.

WG we are not worthy - you were quite right to strut proudly through Arrivals!

sybs this part of the world (North Hderefordshire) is Boy Central. Two playgroups we go/went to were usually all boys and boys dominate at primary school. DD's going to have her pick at this rate, but then she would anyway - DH already sees trouble ahead with her!

Deids the flowers cost HOW MUCH?!! Jeeez! We did our whole wedding for £5k, including honeymoon! And it was wonderful, wouldn't change a thing [sickly emoticon] Glad you had such a fabulous time. I totally understand your feelings about DD's class. Glad to hear your feelings are allayed to some extent.

spot any chance DS could have HFM? Max had this a week ago, lots of ulcers so he couldn't eat. He said it was teeth too but I knew it couldn't be as he's had all his teeth for ages - no surprise as the first two sprouted at 3.5m. The doc confirmed something coxsackie-related (that's the family of virus) and a day or two later he had a couple of bisters on his foot. Nursery said they'd had a few cases, and all of those were mainly in the mouth too. Ice lollies are the way to go. And lots of ibuprofen.

JJ we had a bit of this recently from M, for about three weeks, having previously been the dream child at bedtime. We'd go back up for maybe one cuddle, and after that just call up periodically 'night night, settle down, see you in the morning' etc so he knew we were still there but he wasn't getting much out of it. He's the first to go to bed which makes it all a lot easier but still, I wondered how on earth it was going to be resolved, and then it was, just like that. He's been better for about a week now. Essentially we just let him cry with the odd call up the stairs, but he never went for more than 20 mins/half an hour - 90 mins is quite some going.

Right, am going to post this before something eats it!

Oh no urbs, really sorry to hear that. Chances are you'll be fine, but worrying, naturally. If DH can ring up and talk to you he'll be fine too but yeah, not the ideal evening.

I'm only breaking this up to go for the posting crown - oh, just looked, 75 is pretty pathetic really, isn't it?!

Things have moved on in our house. SS has decided after all to go down to his mum's. He's going at the end of July. He's lightened up a lot since the decision was made, but DH is concerned (quite rightly) that XW will baby him and undo everything DH has tried to do but if ever there was a time to let go, this is it - SS is coming up 19. Being entirely selfish and shallow, this means I get my own office at last (it's been 10 years!!) and we'll have a spare room, huzzah.

We had a shopping spree today which is an incredible rarity for us. I had a few £££ from selling DS' old cloth naps so I added to his trousers/shorts/underwear collection (sorely needed espo with the odd accident) and DH suddenly went mad grabbing T-shirts and trousers for himself. I don't know what possessed him, as when I was unable to decide between two pairs of shoes earlier, courtesy of my mum who'd offered to buy me a pair, he said to get them both - woohoo!!! So now I have two new pairs of shoes, one black wedges with a high cross-strap that's similar to an ankle strap and one completely indescribable but also not knackered, scuffed, flat and blobby, unlike the shoes I've been wearing lately! I was grinning like a loon and then he took me out to lunch, so no doubt unnatural practices will be on the cards later!

Thanks Truds - although that's the thing his speech was all slurred and he wasn't making much sense (e.g. he decided to get a cab from white city to lewisham hospital rather than go to a nearer one).

Also DD now has raging temperature.

Sorry. Self indulgence.

These and [[http://www.clarks.co.uk/find/onsale-is-onsale/gender-is-women/product-is-20343773/pgs-is-100 these] - those last ones look vile from that angle but lovely from above. I'm particularly pleased with those as I have wide feet and can't usually wear that style, but these look nice

Oh bum! Can you edit posts?

Oh no urbs, that sort of thing is so horribly worrying but at least he's in the right hands now.

Oh Urbs that's awful your poor DH. Do you have a friend that can go to him so he's not alone if you can't get to him?

Poor Dd too how worrying for you.

Gross, a daddy long legs has just landed in my cup of tea while I?ve been reading. Yuck

Urbs sorry to hear it?s all gone wrong in your house this evening, it never rains but it pours I will have my fingers crossed that DH recovers quickly, as do DS and DD and that you and the babe are unaffected. Have a big hug

And Jump 90 minutes is some serious persistence. Fortunately (fingers crossed) DD hasn?t gone through this phase (yet), but most people I know with older kids have told me horror stories about sudden bedtime hysterics that have gone as quickly as they?ve arrived. From their experience I think ignoring her is the best tactic. Can you put E down in a room as far from S as possible and then move her once the house is peaceful and quiet? I hope your wine has relaxed you a bit

Jolly how cute about that lovely little girl, her parents should be super proud of her, kind and confident are traits that I?d love E to pick up

Deids I?m pleased you?re feeling a little happier about DD. I went to a different secondary school to any of my primary school pals and despite being a quiet thing I don?t ever remember not being happy there or not having friends, but still I would have been much better before hand had I known even one person. My nephew (the same age as your DD) is in the same situation next year and won?t know anyone in his new class. My SIL has decided not to tell him so as not to ruin his summer holidays and just let him find out at the start of term. I?m not convinced that is the kindest thing, poor lad. She?s thrilled about it, as he is being streamed into the top set and she is the pushiest of parents (don?t get me started) but if it was me, at 6, I?d prefer DD to be with friends and enjoy school than doing extra learning

Hurrah for shopping and spare rooms Trudy

Ok, my promised response to Vaj about toddlers. I was so pleased to see your post as I was about to write exactly the same thing last night so it is a relief to know I?m not the only one and therefore not doing something terribly wrong (actually, I might be, but at least I?m not the only one if that is the case). I have so little patience with DD and she just continually ignores me. I don?t think she actually listened to, responded to or acted on one thing I said yesterday ? even if it is to her benefit (eg E: I hungry, I want lunch. ZJ: I?m making tuna sandwiches (her fave), they?ll be ready in 2 minutes. E: I hungry, I want lunch. ZJ: tuna sandwiches are ready, can you sit at the table? E: I just busy playing, you wait Mummy. ) I am trying to remember your tip about giving a positive command to do something rather than a negative don?t do something, and I feel a tad calmer when I put it like that, but no change in E?s response to me. And it?s not as if she?s tantrumming or overemotional or anything so I can?t get through to her, she is just unco-operative and proper pain in the arse and I end up just manhandling her and forcing her to sit at the table/get dressed/tidy up/whatever, which of course then does result in a tantrum. This morning started badly again, but fortunately (for DD, I was ready to sell her by lunchtime) she woke up from her nap in a slightly better mood and so we?ve had some fun together this afternoon. Saying that, she has had her cute moments (very) occasionally ? on Sunday she was running round the garden shouting at her shadow ?wait for me shadow, come back shadow, wait for me?. So sweet to watch

Right, it is far too late for me to be up, so night night all, wishing you good sleeps

So Dh is back, and looks like he's been in a car crash - whole side of his face is swollen. Hospital were ace though, by the sounds of it, including the nurse phoning me up to check I was going to be at home with him and make sure I understood things to look out for. He's asleep now, bless him and I am wide wide awake and watching him like a hawk. Which is ridiculous. DD's temp has gone down a bit but she gets so hot. I had forgotten. She kept saying "my sick mummy, my so sick" and searching around to find something to make her feel better. She is in our bed now so I can keep an eye on her too. And can hear DS coughing. And I am shit nurse At least all home safe though.

Apologies for not doing proper catch up. Love to all

Urbs, my lovely neighbour had the pox at the same stage of pregnancy as you, and she (and her DD) are both fine. If you are not immune, it means a couple of large injections in your bum to try to stave it off, but even if you can't, whilst you may feel a bit miserable for a day or so, there is unlikely to be lasting damage to you or the baby. Hope you got a peaceful night and DH is OK. Huge hugs.

Hey Urbs, I'm pleased you've got DH back. I hope everyone in your house is a little better this morning and you're not too tired. Take care

ZJ I have those days with M sometimes too and they drive me up the wall. Something I've found helps me to avoid going off the deep end completely is not to repeat myself. On those days I tell/ask DS something once and then either just leave it if I get no response or simply make whatever it is happen by physical coercion, trying not to be rough because I'm cross.

urbs poor DH. Glad to hear DD is improving. M still tells me, months after a horrible bug, "I done sick in my room"! I hope things are calm this morning and DH manages to enjoy his birthday. What happened to get him in such a state?

M's being a bit of a pain today. Can't decide whether to let him get on with it and just do the stuff round the house that I need to do, or be super-mummy and take him out to the park to amuse him. I feel plan A is most likely - am most definitely not super-mummy

Oh Urbs - it never rains but it completely pisses it down, eh? Poor you. We still haven't had the pox here and am quite keen to get it over with. How is DH feeling this morning? What was the nature of his accident at football?

Trudy - I like those shoes you've bought. Look v stylish and comfy. Jealous. I have been wearing my fitflops to death, but they have started rubbing the skin off the inside of my big toe again, which is very sore.

ZJ - that does sound frustrating. DD1 has started being fairly viscious to DD2, but actually it's not that bad and they absolutely adore eachother, which is lovely. If anyone else laid a finger on DD2, she'd go mad! Sent DD1 to nursery with her first ever plaits today - she was very excited. And looked super sweet. I want to eat her!

I am off for a run shortly with DD2 in the running buggy. I have no idea how I'm going to complete a 10k run in 4.5 weeks. Any tips from Vag? Or any other exercise experts??! I can do 5k, now down to 33 mins, but it exhausts me! And I am SO slow, it's not like I'm jogging it like a gazelle. Oh cripes!

Oh yes, forgot to say amusing incident in the bath last night. I have been trying to grow DD1's fringe out for months now and am finally getting there. She needs an all over cut, so that it's all the same length. Anyway, last night they were having a bath and I had got DD2 out and just put her in the cot while I dealt with DD1 and I heard a shriek from the bathroom. Ran in and DD1 had been playing with this toy called a Sub Bug, which we gave DD2 for her bday. It has a very small propellor and whooshes around underwater. DD1 had managed to get it twisted up in her fringe and I had to cut it out! AAAAAGH! Luckily, the damage wasn't too bad, but I got terrible giggles as I was doing it.

urbs glad dh is in one piece, do keep an eye out for delayed troubles. hope he has a good birthday nonetheless and your tests are all safe.

I should just say re S's 1.5 hours, lest anyone think we left her yelling that long, it's the total of upstairs, in bed, brief quiet, comes out of bed, whines pathetically, taken back to bed, out again etc etc. In the end I gave her one cuddle, told her to lie down and finally she conked out, all sweaty and horrid from her tantruming. By the look of other threads this is horribly common :(

beans - you have changed your name! poor fringe... running in this weather is quite frankly barmy so hope you get back without being totally dehydrated :)

Urbs so glad DH is home safe. How is DD today?

Beans, I have built up to about 5 miles. TBH, teh only way I managed to get that bit further was to just push on, tehn my legs seem to get into an even stride and its not too bad. Also do you run with an Ipod or anything?? I couldn't run at all without mine, but others prefer the silence I think.

Poor DD1 and her hair, glad its not too bad!

JJ, meant to say the other night about S's scream-a-thon. Fortunately DS has always gone down okay, DD however, was a horror, just like you described. I gave up in the end and used to sit/lie with her till she went to sleep. I don't recommend this route as she was 3.5 before she we stopped this habit. Perservere with keep putting her back to bed she will get the message, eventually.

Hello from not so sunny Florida. hurumph.

Urbs you poor thing. I hope DH is a bit better today and pox ridden to you have my sympathies.

JJ love gawd bloody children and their ability to drive us bonkers. DS2 is a bit like that hug mummy hug grrrrrrrrrrr. We got to the point with him we got so fed up of being up and downstairs constantly and not getting to eat a hot meal that we just bellowed at him from the kitchen get to bed. bad parents. But it worked he doesnt get in and out for 2 hrs now its only about 20mins.

Oh and VAg dont feel bad about getting cross. We all get like that. Read up for my brilliant parenting. Deep breath count to 100 this too will pass.

Right DH glowering must get ready to go and get rained upon at the beach again.

Sorry just quickly, JJ we originally put a travel gate on ds's bedroom door. About 50% of nights he comes to the gate yells out for us, screams a bit then slams the door and tucks himself back in. Time yelling out became shorter and shorter when we ignored him. Now if quite tired he doesn't at all. MIL had him here for 2 nights and he was back to screaming when we returned and I know she kept going to him. Longest when it's us here would be 5-10 mins but with no nap, we rarely need the gate at all - worth a try?

Hope alls better soon Urbs!

Trudy you are right, it is HFM - or rather was when it started 5 days ago . I should have known by the sign of the nursery door but it stick didn't occur to me . I thought the blister on his foot was from wearing his sandals without socks. That explains a lot. Seems to be coming out the other side though.

Urbs that is a relief DH is home but still, what a lot of worries to content with. Did you get any sleep last night?

Jump, I would be putting the sides back on the cot but I'm sure it's not the best idea. I guess she will eventually get it in time, but totally empathise on the only just getting your evenings back.

Will be in Ely from Tues - Thurs next week. Any of the Cambridge gang fancy a meet up?

Beans I am impressed you actually run with a running buggy. I'v e never seen anyone use it as such! Also at the running full stop. You guys must have pelvic floors of steel .

Sybs how was dinner?