Dec 08 Mums - Introducing our new joiners, TrudyV and Al Fresco...

[Beans33]

Hope this is ok? Thought it was subtle enough for the wider MN and not offensive!!

Am back at the flat for a bit and just did a mammoth post and it's vanished

Same thing just happened. Really cannot bear to type such a long post a third time. So in essence....

Back at the flat, miss the light, the power shower, the view, the broadband and the big knackered sofa which we left behind as it's too grotty but so comfy.

Rubes, have you tried her with breadsticks? They are so melty, much more so than toast/apple etc. This weekend's a bit bonkers and MIL the next weekend but any weekend from 9th July is all yours should you fancy some Cotswold action.

Beans, I thought the dress was very elegant.

Pingu, so sorry to hear they are berks at work - hate to hear of working mums being treated shabbily by co-workers.

Wish I was shopping in Brum with you, JB

Trudy, great prog on mindfulness on Radio 4 on Tues night, re: using it if you are awake and fretting in the night. Am going to try it!

ZJ - do share your ghosty story! I am just being silly about the new house. And 'that sad little boy' has become a standing joke now between DP and me

Vag, our plumber has a key but DP is shortly to be changing the lock anyway!

Right, must post this before it vanishes!

Ok, that one seems to have worked. Lots of detailed responses to people just went, so that's just the highly edited highlights!

The new house is far from ready BUT I am being a bit negative as, given that we did it all ourselves with just some help from a couple of friends on Sat afternoon and Sun afternoon, I am telling myself that we have done quite well.

I wil be glad to get rid of the GIANT telly which takes up too much space. We are going to get a flat one and put it above the fireplace, but we need to get a fire surround and figure out what to do with the cables yet...so all that could take yonks. Until then, the living room will look crap. I must say I am really pleased with our bedroom, though. Apart from pictures going up, it's done and it's nice.

Hi all,
just got a few mins to pop on and say hi and a whispered congratulations to ZJ
pingu it's great to hear from you again - can't believe you're 29 weeks already!
Well The Night That Phoebe Settled For Me was sadly a one-off I have tried since with "you can have a sticker on your chart in the morning if you stay in your bed", to which she replies "my not want one" TT is going better (finally) and we're having quite a few accident-free days now. It's only taken since February!
Lady so great that you are finally in your home. Hurrah!
rubs I understand about you wanting to cut back your MN time, but frankly don't like it! It's not the same on here when you're quiet.
Right sorry to run so soon, but it's time to take L to Rainbows...

DH is out tomorrow night so I should get some decent MN time then xxx

ladyT Hooray to getting settled in your new gaff.

beans I really like that dress,very nice buy it because your worth it!

zj I forgot to add my quiet

29 weeks already?? wow thats gone quick.

I have a really painful hip, I think I have been overdoing the running. I currently get out of a chair like my 80 year old nan

DS is heading to prison. He bit a little boy in DD's class this morning in the playground. Then went to playgroup where he bit another child on the finger. I have no idea what to do. I thought we had turned a corner and he had got through his 'aggressive' phase. Seems not he is just a little shitand I'm crap because I can't control him. Sorry I am just both and with DS at the moment.

DB, that sounds tough but try not to be so down on yourself. It's nigh on impossible to control a 2yr old when they are hell bent on pleasing themselves. I know it sounds like a platitude but he WILL grow out of it and one day you will laugh with him about it all. Would he respond to a sticker chart and prizes if he gets so many stickers? I am no expert but I have read that little kids are determinedly carrot rather than stick led and punishments such as withdrawal of privileges aren't very effective with little ones. Hang in there. And have a big glass of wine tonight.

at Trace's DD2 'my not want one'. They are wilful at this age, aren't they?

Spot too funny! Good to hear B is improving on the solids

98 quid Deids

I love it that Vaj tells us she's shattered so needs to go for a run. I am your polar opposite

Ok Pd, I'm going to be even nosier now. Is DP a good house husband as well as a good SAHD? Whenever DH is in charge everything descends into chaos in about 3 seconds

I meant to suggest to toy libraries Jump, if you're worried about the cost of an easel. Our sure start centre has one and it is fab. Just £1 to borrow any toy for ages. I test out all big stuff to see if it will get played with before investing

Hey Pingu . Gosh, time is flying. Good news about the house. I forget are you moving far from where you are now?

Beans/Rubes I used to serve purees as a 'sauce' on pasta, rice or potatoes, as a way of getting a slightly more grown up looking dish into dd that still had a familiar flavour

'my not want one' is a familiar refrain in our house too trace. Last night E flatly refused a nappy or pjs at bedtime, so I did the old 'no nappy, no story' threat to get 'my not want story'. So I took her straight to bed and turned the light off and then got a quiet 'my want nappy and story'. DH later pointed out what a fool I'd been and what an awful mess the bed would had been if she had won on stubbornness. I didn't think that through ... Could the sticker in the morning be too far into the future? DD doesn't get time and the need to wait, and I do get a better result if the carrot/stick is offered immediately

I bet it was a little bit satisfying that the hospital didn't get their way over Birmingham Jolly

Ok LadyT here we go . My sister's friend took a holiday with her 3 yr old recently and stayed in a gite in France. The little one wanted to play outside with her new friend all the time. Assuming an imaginary friend they asked about him, apparently he was an old man with blue clothes and a funny black hat and he spoke funny (ie French). When they mentioned the little one's imaginary friend to the neighbours it turned out he matched the description of the very kind old man who used to live there. Woooooo

We have "My not want"... Whatever it is. I just offer it to DD2 and then she gets stuck in.

DD2's christening on Saturday. Am struggling to get excited about it because my dear Dad and dear FIL are being slight arseholes about it. We are holding it at my parent's place because they've got a lovely garden and we know the vicar - he married us, christened DD1 and is coming out of retirement for us. Heaven. Anyway, FIL offered to do the booze and came out with 6 bottles of champers. This doesn't sound very generous, but out of 19 adults, nearly half will be driving, so it will actually do pretty well. However, Dad took exception as he and Mum don't like champers. I got the whole "Well, what else are we going to drink?" and a wry laugh, as if implying how tight FIL is. Hmmm. All a bit difficult. I can sort of see his point, but it makes him sound like an arse. And actually, FIL doesn't have to give anything. THEN, though, FIL, a propos of nothing, goes, "Whatever we don't drink we'll take home with us", which, I think, is a proper tight arse attitude. M&D are holding the do and going halves on the food. Then he proceeded to whinge about DD1's christening, when Dad opened 2 bottles of champers in error and so FIL had to take home 2 opened, half drunk bottles with him. I can't believe he still actually took them!!!! I can understand after a party if you've donated 10 cases or something, but really, not half a case to this kind of a do. Anyway, I am furious with both of them for the attitudes and am just going to stick fingers in my ears and say "lalalala!" and enjoy the day. It's so silly. My Dad is generous to a fault and doesn't always understand other people's attitudes. And I must say, I do think FIL is being a bit of a git about it. But Dad is presuming that everyone else is as generous as he would be, which just isn't always true. Does it sound a bit silly? It's like schoolyard stuff, isn't it??!

I am tucking into a cold beer. Yummers. Loving it.

DD1 went for a sleep this afternoon (rare) and insisted on going on the floor, after falling out of bed last night. Can't say I blame her. Anyway, she wanted to go to sleep on the floor tonight as well, but I wouldn't let her. I'm betting she'll be on the floor later when I go to kiss her at 10pm!!!

ZJ - SPOOOOKY!

Oh dear. Mum now in bed with a sore throat and a temperature. Tomorrow is going to be cooking hell. Never mind.

Don't let it ruin your day beans. I find negotiating in law/parent relationship really difficult. Different expectations and ideas I suppose.

Hardly got any shopping time as waited 2.5 hours in clinic. Most drs went to a meeting and left one guy to finish the remaining people. Bonkers! Thankfully J was adorable all day.

Interesting about the rewarding positive behaviour thing. I'm going to start one for dd. Stickers for not waking her sister might work better than shouting, and making the situation worse. Stupid question but do you buy them or make your own?

JJ saw an easel for 15 pounds at IKEA yesterday. Seemed quite sturdy.

How are you feeling ZJ? Is it too early for bloating and ickness?

Jolly that was the exact one we were thinking of. It's not so much the price that was the concern as the idea that she can have 'big' pressies at any time of year other than her birthday. May just go ahead as something to keep her occupied in the new house while we try to sort out all the junk valuable family stuff.

trace the refusal to go for rewards sounds very familiar - we have trouvble with getting dressed and try to say If you get dressed quickly, you can have a sticker/read a story/no Charlie and Lola tonight. And she says Don't want a sticker/don't want a story/don't like C&L. If they don't want what you're offering by way of carrot or stick, feels a bit hopeless!

just been out for a curry for DH's birthday... oh the glamour! but we had no kids with us, and didn't talk about them for almost the whole time :)

ZJ woooooo indeed. On the SAHD thing are you sure you want to know? Because it's Thursday night and I'm on Bacardi 'n' Quavers (oh yeah) so you might have to make do with the long answer. First of all can I draw your attention to your wholly inaccurate - not to mention terribly un-PC - use of the term "house husband". I prefer manservant, thank you very much. And yes, he is marvellous really, even though the DCs leave the house with faces full of porridge and snot most days (and let's not even talk about ears), and even though they would eat peanut butter on toast for every meal if I didn't spend my weekends cooking up huge vats of hippy food delicious and wholesome fare to bung in the freezer. But he is MUCH better than me at getting them out of the house in the mornings, MUCH better than me at keeping the house tidy(ish) and MUCH better at me at negotiating the whole toddler group scene.

jj most of our DCs' toys come from freecycle/hand-me-downs/pound shop but we don't generally announce them as presents so much. But even though they get toys big & small throughout the year, if DS sees something he likes he always says he hopes he can have it for Christmas or his birthday - it hasn't made him expect presents on demand. I really don't think they have any concept of what is a "big" present anyway, certainly not at this age. I remember seeing my niece on Christmas Day when she was about 7 and asking her what she'd got. She reeled off a long list of hair bobbles, stickers and assorted bits of tat then after much prompting from my brother it was oh yeah, and a bike. Tbh I wouldn't really even count something like an easel/scooter etc as a toy at this age, more of a developmental aid disguised as a toy. Your DD goes to nursery so she will probably just think of an easel as another piece of furniture anyway.

Beans Excellent. DD's christening sounds like a 70s sitcom waiting to happen. My advice: open all 6 bottles, drink a glass out of each, enjoy.

I'm really rambling tonight aren't I? It's making me nostalgic for early 2009 when we were up all hours and there was always a chance someone else was online. Okay, maybe not.

Hmm, maybe I should write each sentence as a separate post in a feeble attempt to get into the top 10 posters.

or maybe I should just make posts like this

and this

or maybe I should just go to bed

JJ that's exactly what we did - get a 'moving-in' present to keep them busy (we moved in Dec). We have a great big charity warehouse thing near us and I went in scouting about. I got a glittery hula hoop for DD and a little ride-on toy for DS and a few other things, and all for under a fiver. The hoop has become the bane of my life (it's just so big and gets left everywhere and I tripped in it the other day and nearly 3 weeks later still can't kneel on my left leg) but the ride-on toy has been brilliant.

Mildly miffed this morning. I spent all yesterday evening doing things for other people (like most of the rest of my waking hours) and then when I went to bed and DH was still out in the office I left a note reminding him to put the bins out. Come down this morning and it hasn't been done - hello? It seems I'm the only person who knows how to muck the hens out too, as if I don't do it it doesn't get done. I think I'm going to go on strike. Also peed off that my slob of a stepson has been asked numerous times to clear up the food wrappers etc in his room, hasn't done it (EVEN when the LLs turned up unexpectedly the other day, which I know they shouldn't do but they're a sweet older couple and I don't want to get all formal on them and it was to sort something out we'd told them about) and still, on bins day, his stuff isn't put out. He's on notice to clean up his act or leave by the end of July.

Sorry, got into my stride there on the other bane of my life and forgot to ask...

How are your DC doing on manners? M will often say thank-you without being reminded but he seems incapable of saying "please", even when seriously prodded and not given something til he says it. Is it too early to be bothering about this stuff? My instinct is to keep reminding him and hope it rubs off eventually. I do object to "get me some milk" or "move"

M has also developed a charming door-slamming habit, not popular at 6am. And Deids we haven't had biting fortunately but M can be quite assertive with other children - just taking toys from them at playgroup, which I find mortifying and always make him undo, to no effect it seems and he just does it again a few minutes later. He's another my don't want (though he does say I now too), it's becoming a pointless exercise threatening to with draw something unless it's TV. I don't know about anyone else but I'm certainly finding this is an age where they need to get out of the house and stay busy.

Case in point - M just lost a toy down the back of a chair and stood looking at me saying "get it!" so I told him I wouldn't if he spoke to me like that

Hee hee, PD - it's like Abigail's Party, isn't it??!

Trudy - that must be so tough with SS. V annoying. You don't want to be wicked stepmother, but you do want to get his arse into gear. GRRRR.

Right, we're heading down to Kent now. Have a smashing weekend all.

I have a massive headache. hoping it's going to depart before too long. Whinge.

trudy - manners, we've been working hard on this recently so if S says "Want more cereal" we say "that doesn't get anything, can you ask nicely" and she'll say "Please can I have some more cereal". Once or twice she's done that on her own first, at which point huge praise ensues.

beans - hope you have a lovely day at the Christening. The whole stinginess thing is pretty galling but you can rise above it :)

PD loving the rambling version of you! Please post more when you have several drinks and try and make that target

trace that's very kind, but seriously, I posted far too much in the past and most of it bs, so must be time for some others to step up the frequency. PD is making a brilliant effort!
Beans, I'm liking PD's idea of opening every bottle - have a great day.
lady, ok will have a look at dates. I have the sad boy vision in my head too now - thanks dp!
That's crap Trudy - I do the bins / recycling myself, but to be fair it's usually only when dh is home late aka 1145pm last night! Aargh! Hope your step son steps up!
Well I managed to stuff quite a bit of food down dd's gob last night with the 1xpot and 1x yogurt for lunch AND dinner and then she had most of her milk. Asleep at about 8pm then didn't wake until 1230 for milk and again at 5am, so a BETTER night, but made me realise, it's def not a self settling problem, and she is just waking because she is hungry as she is so bloody fussy in the day with her food.
On manners ds is pretty good. I do have to remind him to say please at times as well but he quickly remembers. he's very good at thankyou and often tells me to say it if he hands me something! Our biggest prob at the mo is he said the F word and has done twice now. Follows quickly by an "ooops, naughty word" and a scared slightly giggly expression so he knows... Time to get serious about that.
he gets words back to front as well. he says all the time "mummy can you help you?" instead of "can you help me" I think because he hears ME ask "Do you want me to help YOU" so he just hears the "you" he also waves backwards as he waves the way he see's other people (ie Mr Tumble) wave at him iyswim! It's quite cute.
Well I'm stuck in all morning wating for the broadband guys. We are switching companies to pretty much the same price but MUCH faster internet. Can't wait. I use Skype a lot and going to swith over to just having Voip phones and ditching the home phone, so it will be brilliant with the faster internet.

Meant to also say hello to Pingu!

Also, Vag - what happened with the key? it's easy enough to change the locks (just the middle bit) if you are uneasy - I'd probably have done exactly the same thing and then stressed as well.
beans good to hear dd is keeping up the family alfresco poo at house viewings average ! Are you going to rent out where you intend to buy? that is always a good idea to get a feel for the area before you commit anyway.
I think we are staying put for now. can't find anything comparable as where we are now and still hopeful somehow we might be able to buy here.
Spot I know what you mean about FitFlops (so does Jam!) I have been wearing mine every bloody day - I'm quite frumpy looking in them (even wore them to lunch with the glamourous ladyT but they are just SO comfortable! Can't see any arse improvement yet, but hoping they improve my posture

I was eyeing up someone's arse-toning trainers at playgroup this morning and doubting they were really me. A friend had Avon's rip-off Fit Flops and said never mind anything else, it's like walking air. Me, I'm sporting a new pair of £5 Morrisons flip flops They're quite surfy and rather cool and about as good as it's likely to get! One benefit of not having much cash to splash is that it's insanely exciting when you can go shopping. I've just sold all DS' old cloth nappies (some of which were actually bought new and cost a BOMB!) so we can go shopping for some new clothes for him on Tuesday and I'm practically salivating at the prospect, not attractive

M was very sweet at playgroup this morning, making play-doh biscuits and offering them to the grown ups, then wiping down the play table ready for snack (he did it really well!), setting out plates and then helping to put it all away afterwards. It was so nice as an antidote to how anti-social he can seem at playgroup sometimes.

Rubes glad you had a better night. My bedtime has crept a bit later recently, ie past 10 o'clock, but I can't take the pace when M wakes me at 5.55, as he did today. I have my monthly Scrabble game with my parents this evening so bang goes a really early night. It was my idea to play once a month and whenever it comes round I'm always groaning and far too tired to enjoy it. Hey ho. That's funny about the F word

Beans hope the Christening goes well - weather is meant to be quite nice this w/end.

Sounds like lots of little people have nice manners. I'll keep working on M, but once he knows something has currency he tends to be a little sod about it so I'm never sure it's worth really making a point about something.

Rubs that's funny that ds sees 'help you' as a set phrase - Phoebe does a similar thing with choices, ie, I'll say "do you want a drink of water or juice?" and she'll say "or juice" It's very cute and she does it every time with every choice!
ZJ I like the friendly old man ghost story - not too scary at all!
Must dash to get L from school, back later xxx