Feb 2011- a bit late, but we're finally in post natal!

[debka]

Welcome everyone!!

jane rain bouncing here too, thought it was Zoes' middle name.

reastie they get two jabs second time and three the third time, not really looking forward to that, although will get to see Anna pull her Stewie Griffin wtf face again.

reastie if it's what I think it is, then it's my mum's name and I love it! I think it's Ruth. Do I win?
ledkr Mine is sleeping loads at the moment - today and yesterday - and I wondered the same thing re. growth. TBH he doesn't really need to grow any more
I have a tax nightmare at the moment - here you have to collect reciepts to 'account' for your spending. It's such a pain, imagine combing a year's worth of crappy receipts, finding dates and how much each one is worth. "Luckily" I had some dental work done privately and DP sneaked the receipts from some big work dos so thay have bumped up the amount somewhat. God, I'm even boring myself, sorry!!

reastie now I know your rl name, I am sure I knew it from some point during the AN threads, although I can't remember why!

C screamed for about two minutes after jabs but seems unbothered now. Fast asleep at the mo!

It doesn't sound terrible that you can't be ar$ed spending time with people that you haven't clicked with, it sounds utterly sensible to me. I'm not one for 'groups' really, they seem kind of a forced way of meeting people, which I suppose you need if you don't have anyone around. the girls I am meeting I just kind of got talking to at the clinic so we weren't there to 'meet other mums' IYSWIM, so it didn't feel as fake. I remember when I lived in Austria and was totally 'alone' with about 4 other English people in a foreign town, and I used to go out and meet those 4 other people and spend most of the time thinking how much we sooooo wouldn't be 'friends' if there was any other choice at the time. Gosh, I'm quite the biatch aren't I?

Anyway, now I have just proved to you all that I may be a not very nice person, I'm going to sign off!

Dx

yes byron - big cyber choccie bar heading your way - watch your head now as I throw it over

Was it wandering who was asking about needto ? Just to update she and ben are OK so worry not. She's moving house (again!) soon so lots going on at needto towers . She said she missed everyone though.

Thanks for the choccie - much needed!! Nom nom
Actually, I have to make a cheesecake now, so there'll be a cyber piece headed your way
Delia I feel the exact same way about 'expat' groups, but I have no friends here without children and they all have lives work during the day. I have literally just gone on yahoo groups to find some rl friends, you lot just aren't enough for me anymore.. (not really, I just can't eat all this cheesecake on my own! )

Jabs mark 2 here today, she was a good little sausage and only squawked a bit. Tip to all bfers- if you feed them whilst they're jabbing it reduces the pain, apparently.

angels I was too slow on the Ruth! It's quite an unusual name now I think but I like it :)

Yes tad I'm a Deborah and thank you for spelling it correctly !

wiggles you forgot Cery (however she spells it), Alex, Katie and Nina . We've just watched the Lunchtime Story- it was Andy today, FYI.

I've had 2 really disturbing dreams now about S. First one I'd left her in the bath and when I went back for her she'd slipped under the water and I got her out and she was floppy and not breathing. Last night I dreamt I put her in the freezer and when I remembered she was cold and blue and not breathing. The relief when I wake up and it's just a dream is incredible.

Debka I don't talk about the girls on CBeebies, Mr W has a weird thing for most of them especially Katie, we now can't watch her on tv without laughing and having a phnar, phnar moment. It has made looking for double entendres very funny, yes we are bad parents and a little immature

I give Anna a bottle when she's getting her injections, although she almost spat it at me on Tue when she realised what was happening, think she was telling me in her own way that if I was inflicting pain on her the least she deserved was a bottle of fruit shoot

Byron fire some cheesecake over here, are you looking forward to your dad and his "current" wife coming over tomorrow. I agreed to take my sister and husband to airport in the morning before I realised they were going to the bloody Belfast airport thats across the city at 8am on a Fri morning [cross traffic face].

Well I didn't make it to baby massage, dd was due a feed just as we would have had to leave the house so even if I had gone I'd have just ended up feeding her there anyway Will try for next week.

Baby sign language MizK?! Sounds interesting, how did you get on? I know what you mean about other mums, not that I've met many but I do think I wouldn't be friend with most if we weren't mums. Thats not meant to sound mean or snobby At my baby clinic a lot of the mums don't speak english as their first language so its just "how old is she" "how much does she weigh" and I ask the same and thats it, a bit of a relief sometimes!

deb at your dreams, how horrible for you. I used to have dreams dd was in bed with us when she was small and wake up thinking I'd squashed, dp would have to calm me down and reassure me she was in her moses basket Glad the jabs went ok.

reastie how did I not think of that name, glad someone finally guessed it, well done byroni! I have been researching baby einstein dvds and am going to order some :)

Better go and do some cleaning or something whilst dd is being peaceful (in fron of the telly)

debka those dreams sound horrid! Hope you don't have them anymore.

wiggles sorry to hear your bil is still being a tool, he is the one who is missing out.

My other half has a strawberry birth mark on his bum cheek, i love it!

We are supposed to be having dinner with fil tonight, i really cant be assed, we have to see him every thursday night of life. Think i might just stay home and go to bed instead, cant be bothered with any small talk and plastering on a fake smile and telling people im "ok" when im clearly not!

debkakaka poor you with the dreams. I had a couple of ones like that when pg and they frightened the life out of me.

alice has a few strawberry marks - one quite big one on her forehead (it's quite obvious if you look at it, but not the first thing you notice iykwim), one cute oneon the end of her toe and one on her head covered by hair.

jane stay at home and relax - your FIL has been so horrible to you. Take the time for yourself (and maybe some wedding planning )

mizk we've been showing alice a sign language singing dvd and she loves it . I sing along and do the signs but don't think she gets them yet. Still, I'm learning. I can do milk, cow, sheep, duck, no, cat, frog and horse. Not sure quite how useful they'll all be but hey ho . I've got a friend who does baby sign classes but her course don't accept babies until 6 months so will go to that then.

ponyo don't expect a really good dvd with baby einstein. How snazzy their packaging etc is I expected a no expense spared all singing all dancing dvd but it's really cheaply made looking and looks so old! Still, I don't know why but alice LOVES it. She's been grizzly and a pain all afternoon, just stuck her in her bouncing chair infront of a dvd on water and she is amiling and cooing at it (peace at last).

my first baby class tomorrow - baby sensory. We have to get there for a 9:45 start - hope I make it in time

My dd has a massive strawberry mark on her back which was v squishy as a baby. Now she's 5 it's completely flat and faded. S has storkbites on his neck and a little birth mark on his bum. Ds1 has just a tiny one on his foot!

V of the cheesecake! Tried to make cinder toffee last night but the bloody altitude meant it didn't set.

Re IL issues: aibu to be a bit pissed off that ILs have changed their minds about coming out to visit us? They haven't met S yet and the older two miss them, but it's apparently not safe to fly now. I'm sure if we said we were flying back to see them (which we can't because of visa issues), safety wouldn't come up at all. I don't mind on my account, but dh is a bit upset about it.

Yes, Jane, stay at home. He doesn't deserve the pleasure of your company. Good luck to everyone doing classes.

why isn't it safe to fly tad?

I don't know, because Osama Bin Laden was shot, maybe? I'm pretty sure FIL is flying to his boat in the south of France though. I expect it's just an excuse from MIL who doesn't like flying or being abroad, although she's been here twice. I'd prefer a bit of honesty really!

sounds a bit odd tad - I'm not suprised you're a bit annoyed. Had they not booked their flights already?

Feeling quite sensitive tonight. Not sure why. DH came home in a stinker of a mood and I haven't had any kind of hug or anything. He didn't even notice when I was crying when cleaning the kitchen. We used to share cleaning duties but I seem to have taken over everything and feel a bit like a down trodden cleaning woman and nanny. I had made home made pizza for his dinner too (from scratch) and didn't get any thanks or comments or anything - may as well have just given him a ready meal and saved the bother. I also felt really when he used his fingers to pick up his green beans from his plate despite having a knife and fork on his plate - I really hope he doesn't keep these bad manners up when alice is older - how am i suppose to teach a child how to eat properly when DH is there doing the opposite . Sorry for moan, like I say, just feeling a bit miserable. Alice gets lots of cuddles and all I'm good for is to clean.

Ah reastie I feel your pain, they just don't get it sometimes do they, bloody men. Have a nice bath and a and paint your toenails. Hopefully he'll snap out of it soon and realise he's been horrible.

Neither of my DDs have birthmarks and I'm glad because I have a big one on my neck, which I never notice now, no-one ever comments on (except the occasional small child), but when i was at school it wasn't much fun.

ponyo i had those dreams when S was younger too!

tad you'd think OBL being dead would make it safer to fly, not more dangerous!

Reastie, going to give you the same advice I gave Debka - stop cooking and making nice things for these men Did you really make a pizza from scratch including the base, looking for an "in awe" face!

Tad that's a bit poo, are they not planning on flying again , I don't have a huge amount of time for that kind of panic, probably because of where we live and I grew up . Really feel for your husband, he must miss them, I'd know I'd love my nice bil, Mr Ws baby brother to come over and meet Anna (he's in Washington) but they were over last year so I don't think they'll be able to do it this year! Although sent him an e-mail yesterday begging him to go to Old Navy for me, so a plane fare might be cheaper than his postage bill

Jane would you like me to come over and tell your fil to piss away off, I seem to be in that kind of mood tonight xx

yes wiggles - I made the base from scratch and everything - have to keep up with my rep for home cooking as a food tech teacher . Tbh I'm not even sure he noticed/realised it was home made .

Still feeling miserable about it (DH issue) - he noticed I was crying after I'd been sobbing for an hour but didn't attempt to comfort me - just mumbled from sitting the other side of the room what was wrong and when I said nothing (I know, I know - my fault. But he knows now that when I say nothign when I'm crying it's obviously something and I need a big hug) he went back to ignoring me. I really feel, thinking about it, that we at the minute are just a couple of people living together who have a child. He's hardly ever physical with me any more and I'm convinced it's as he's repulsed by how I look now. He's always said he didn't want me to put on lots of weight as he wouldn't find me attractive and now I have gone and done it . We don't have a sex life ful stop - we haven't done it since I've had alice . He's very happy if I want to, ahem, fulfil his needs, but he's only attempted to do anything to me I think 3 or 4 times in the past 10 weeks. It's really getting me down. I'm sorry, I'll be better tomorrow I'm sure, just having a downer this evening. Still crying now. Nothing like what deb has to put up with as he is really good with alice, and when he's in the right mood he can be a fab husband...

did you go out jane ?

My guess is Ruth East!

How did I do?!?!

Oh poo sorry I hadn't refreshed my screen so didn't realize the game was over!

sorry 40 - too slow for the chocolate bar prize I shall stay zipped about my surname or you'll all hunt me down

Think I scared ledkr off the thread earlier with my overly long msg to her re: my PIL . Either that or she's still reading through my moans

reastie havin a baby completely altars the dynamics of a relationship for about a year,you are in a different role as a Mumat home and i really do think these men get cocky. Thats why i have always worked,own money career and a few male colleagues for competition. I would try to be strong and not whiney if i were you as it only feeds into this.Last week dh was like that and i just simply withdrew.Spoke pleasantly but didnt have a laugh or joke and was decidely cool.Went off to bed before him and certainly didnt try it on,of course made sure i was at my fat best haha, A few days later and he was all over me all creepy.My male friends say confidence is more attractive than looks and i am inclined to aggree.Give him a run for his money the ledkr way
D has been an absolute mare today,hardly slept and was fairly grumpy.Then played up going to bed but not before Ella fell off a stool and hurt all her ribs what a day,i have afeeling she will play up tonight as well. Am off to bed now driven by dh's desire to watch ANY football match at all even if its not his team,wanted to watch that Dr docu,will read your pm now Reastie but prob wont reply untill tomorrow.

Aw reastie that sounds rubbish. What is it with menfolk around here at the moment?! I'm sorry but men ignoring their partners when they are crying is shitty behaviour, if you're crying and say nothing is wrong its obvious something is! Hope you're alright, you're not in the wrong here he needs to fix up. Enjoy baby class tomo! :)

jane I really hope you're in having a nice night to yourself, you shouldn't have to pretend to be happy around others if you're not, especially unsympathetic types like FIL. I did at your df's birth mark description :)

40 still guessing

Got a busy day tomo so going to finish getting organised now, going to see my mum so only an hours drive but the amount of planning with bottles, things to take, etc etc is making me such a stress head!

Ah reastie not even a bitesize bar?!? Sorry you are having inlaw probs, am intrigued now though!

reastie he's being a twunt - seriously "fulfilling his needs", no not if he's not fulfilling yours, a baby brings so much joy and upheaval into a relationship. You've been through so much before Alice was born, the stress of getting pregnant, your miscarriage, you were quite ill when you were pregnant with Alice, you need time to be you again, then time to be Alice's mum and your husbands partner. I've said it before that I think we forget how much stress physically and mentally we have all been under over the past year and that we deserve to be good to ourselves first, and then hopefully we will get our groove back with partners, husbands, family members even the dreaded mils

Now that I have dispensed my words of wisdom I'm off to polish off the packet of Hobnobs I bought earlier. I haven't had a hobnob in years, how bloody nice are they? I fear they may be my downfall