The CRESH Creche and Spa - future home of all ESH

[Muser]

I liked the CRESH acronym more than FESH so have used it. Welcome all ESH to your final stop on the journey. Rest your aching lady bits, try one of the many gin based cocktails, and try to molest the gorgeous waiting staff.

He sounds lush - can you take sneaky photo on your phone and post it for us to drool over?

Job sounds ace FP, don't worry about Clyde, he'll be fine.

I am supposed to be packing to go away. I am still in my PJs looking at houses on t'internet. Someone kick me out of here...

Ha ha polly! The only reason I'm not still in PJs is I suddenly remembered at 9:25 that the 'pool man' was due at 9:30 so raced upstairs for shower and dressing. I am browsing Rightmove though.

(When I say 'pool man' please do not get images of a 1970s moustachioed hunk saying 'I've come to clean your pool' with a knowing look. It was two fat men with broad midlands accents sent by landlord to check on the koi carp pond. Glamourous.)

That will be ace if he's supposed to be a covert asset I imagine he'd be mortified if he knew some middle aged mother of one was panting over him, especially as i only agreed with his comment about somebody looking like he was enjoying his work. Hardly astrophysics is it :-( Thinking back i also thought i was smiling enigmatically at him but now i think it may have been construed as rictus insanity. need more practice

Scorpwatch update.. Had a text from her just before 10am but I've only just seen it. She asked me to let you know that she is in hossie. Went in last night to check on The Lad, and they wanted to keep her in. The Lad is fine but Scorpy has a UTI and high blood pressure. She is waiting to see if they will induce her today. She is fine but tired, hungry, bored and grumpy! She also asked me to remind y'all not to mention developments on facecrack. Ta muchly! Will update as soon as I hear anything else. Just trying to pack the car... gah, mucho stress goin' on!

Tell her to enjoy the last few hours of carefree independence. She'll never get this bit back again! Relish the boredom! Practice relaxation breathing! Become familiar with hunger pangs!

Bet scorps is going insane if she's lying in wait without internet access. But hopefully she's already too busy laying. Bloody UTIs, hospitalising cunty and scorps as well as me. Mind you, I came home with a baby and scorps should too.

Will stop randomly typing thoughts now

I hope she's joining us here soon.

I got an ace tip this morning at an NCT coffee morning when commenting about how she always wakes up just as I am brewing a coffee - thermal cups, don't know why I hadn't thought of them before, especially as I used to use them at work.

Dog mummies - I'm having a mad moment here - pls to advise? This morning whilst taking his bottle to the sofa & grabbing a bib (i.e., 15 seconds), Bear was alone in the kitchen and when I went back in he had emptied the dogs' water bowl and was happily banging two bowls together. I've moved the water bowl around the corner where he's less likely to see it and make a beeline for it - but I'm a bit paranoid about it. I'm sure I've read before about a little one actually drowning in a dog bowl. What are you lot doing?

looks like scorps deffo not leaving hospital without a baybeeeeee!
alps bowls are in laundry room, which we keep door shut on because she can now climb into there. But it's not something that had crossed my mind. Actually, she could easily get at the bowl in the crate. She's always got someone nearby when loose in house, so not too worried.

Pol or anyone else in touch with Scorps, could you send my love & tell her I'll be standing by with tissues for the sneeze, and also ironically I finally managed this morning to reply to her message of six weeks ago

If you think you're being paranoid Alps, then you probably are. To be honest I'd be more annoyed at having to change my socks after stepping in the puddle (happens a lot in this house).

That said I am a bit lax on the safety front and today left the baby on a bale of hay while I whizzed LC into a stable for a quick wee. Came back to find he had rolled off and was standing on his head, wedged between bale & wall. Whoops. Got home to find both LC and BC had hay in their pants/nappy.

Crap ham & crap cheese (dairylea) sandwiches for my tea it was.

sent your love Vag. i'm hoping she's either laying or having a good rest now. Thinking of her muchly here (and prob annoying the friends who are staying overnight)

just had text actually, no action so she's going to try to sleep. Sends love back: particularly back to Vag.

I hope things are moving along for Scorps. Or if they're not that she's got some sleep.

can't wait to hear the news... hope she and the baba are ok.

Stupidly tried to drop dream feed last night. Ha ha ha. Backfired spectacularly and had emergency bottle feed at 3am. Think i was slightly pissed making the decision, so not great idea. The Guru reckons we can drop, but I'd say not. Maybe he's not eating enough yet.

Beautiful day, off to the garden centre today.

No news yet... She had the vag tablet at 6pm last night but nothing doing. Hopefully she got a restful night and woke up to find The Lad in the bed.

Alps don't worry about the dog bowls, once he tastes the food he will soon realise it is not up to much and progress to worms and dirt from outside.

Had mini Oke's 2 year check yesterday (he is in fact 2.6 but I only got round to booking it recently). They ask really random questions like 1) Does he walk down the street holding your hand? (No) 2) Is all DIY kit out of reach? (No - he can even open the draw where we keep the kitchen knives) 3) All meds out of reach? (I say yes to this but think I must move all drucks from my bedside table) 4) What has he had to eat today? (I then realise that lying is best and say cereal and toast when in fact he refused both and I gave him a chocolate biscuit just to get him in the pram). So I lie so they don't think I totally useless and put him on a child at risk list or something. At least he had no bruises that I tried to cover up with chocolate and he did ask to go to the toilet 3 times during the session

Oh, so some more baby action then.

Moo Peppa refused 10.30 bottle so I too thought wahey she doesn't need it but nope, woke at 2am and 4am. I will force it down her neck tonight come hell or high water. I am now doing that feed as a formula feed. The first night was a carton and she drank about half, last night was powder so begs the question has anyone had any formula refusal before? I know it is not the bottle as she happily takes breast milk from bottle.

Laydee's - left MB with his granny yesterday as HI went away to celebrate our wedded bliss. Is it very un-ESH to be checking in with granny that all is ok? Never left him for this long before. Drank a bit too much fizz! Wondering if it's ok to bf this afternoon or if should wait til tmw?

Also on the bf front. Someone pls Chinese burn me. I'm unnecessarily starting to feel self conscious about feeding in public. Which is weird cos have been fine til recently. I stupidly thinking that other people are thinking MB is too old/big to be on the boob.

Silv congrats on anniversary! where did you go? how was leaving MB? Know what you mean re bf, I have also recently felt more uncomfortable feeding out, think it is a combination of Clint being so big and so very wriggly. I still haven't used any formula, for some reason I am still avoiding it. I think it is something to so with not wanting Clint to grow up/away from needing me Pathetic. Mind you I also avoid food-feeding him out too, due to hassle......

Okes & Honey hope you had a better night.

Silv, other people probably aren't even noticing what you're doing. Your baby is still a baby and if anyone did hoick their judgey pants up you'd be well within your rights to whack em with a dirty nappy.

Has anyone had a lazy baby who likes a lie in? We seem to be in a pattern of sleep from 10pm-4/5am. Then spending about 45 mins to get her back to sleep. Then she falls back asleep until 9am or even later. It seems an odd sleep pattern. How do I reprogramme her?

Ooh know what I wanted to ask....Clint has a red eyelid. He is rubbing his eye while eating and food gets all ground in but I don't know if the rubbing is causing the itching or not, is you see what I mean. Anyone had this?

Welcome slaps to Gin, where have you been oh juniper one? We have missed you.