The CRESH Creche and Spa - future home of all ESH

[Muser]

I liked the CRESH acronym more than FESH so have used it. Welcome all ESH to your final stop on the journey. Rest your aching lady bits, try one of the many gin based cocktails, and try to molest the gorgeous waiting staff.

Cas, try not to worry too much about not having a stairgate. We had one, but then discovered that fixing it to 450 year old authentic wattle and daub walls which are fragile at the best of times wasn't going to work. We discovered this when we tried our best to attach it without breaking the house, only to see TT disappear head first down the stairs in a puff of lime plaster and ancient cow shit. Downstairs our house has 5 rooms downstairs, and a step between each one. We went for the 'pillow by each step' technique until she had learnt to negotiate them, and then just wound her up and let her go. It was a slightly worrying time though!

I was hoping the extension, with it's new-fangled non-disintegrating walls and boringly uniform floor levels would have been finished before LG learnt to crawl, but once again child development is occurring here faster than builders can do their job. Getting a dog to lie at the top of the stairs sounds like another brilliant use for a dog, along with cleaning the floor during weaning.

Who's asking about milk feeds? I have no idea how many milk feeds LG has each day. I don't have a routine for him. He mostly gets milk when he wants it, which is generally about 11am, 3pm and 7pm, and then whenever he helps himself in the night. I have no idea how many times that is as I am too busy sleeping to count. On a related note we were at funeral yesterday, and SILs were stood in the kitchen chatting about fads in childcare and laughing about 'relaxed parenting' where the parent just lets the child do more or less whatever they want to. As they said 'who on earth brings up a child like that?' I just bowed my head down and carried on slicing bread for sandwiches. At least my children are not afraid to go outside.

Alps, Cluck and I are off to Selva, in a chalet with nannies. We might even let our OHs come too if they are good.

All of this rushing around we have been doing lately means LG has been in contact with lots of snotty kids, and now he is snotty too. Really snotty. Great. Just in time for our holiday, which - woo-hoo! - we will finally be going on on Thursday. I predict Barbados is about to experience a tequila shortage!

Glad you are finally getting to Barbados boxy - fab news and well deserved. Hope funeral wasn't too stressful and that TT is ok.

We're not really worrying about getting a gate - just think it might be an idea because a) the dog is not very reliable and tends to run off if Squeaks gets too close and b) she has a real tendency to just disappear! So far she has explored the entire upper floor of the house without getting too close to the stairs, but they are right next to her bedroom door, so I think we'll need to get a gate before she learns the lesson the hard way! She has developed a fascination with crawling into the spare room/study and standing up to fiddle with the printer. Downstairs, she has mastered climbing the two steps into the stone-floor laundry room, and keeps taking herself off in there and giving me heart failure - the wood trim broke off one of the steps and it has nails sticking out etc. And all my tools, including cordless drill, are at floor level in that room. It's only a matter of time...

And I have another 11 month old coming round with her mum tomorrow - could be chaos!

It was me box, and I was asking because he doesn?t really demand any more so have been forced into a feeding routine or he?d only get fed in the night!

Lol at who does relaxed parenting! Um, pretty much everyone I know?

Cas just leave a note with the drill saying you want the step fixing please. If she is clever enough to figure out how to use the drill it is surely within her grasp to read instructions and do a little bit of DIY too!

Thanks okie. I think I've figured out the ones I'm getting - but we have wide doors - very unusual for an "old" Dutch house. But christ do we need them as we have a "diver".

I think it's a real shame that people are having to be "told" via the media to chill the fuck out and have a bit of fun with their kids. :(

cossie Perhaps we just don't mix with "that type" - although as I type that I can think of one who has her child's future mapped out already.

Um. I know which high school rastus is going to

Here's the thing - TT's 8 yo cousin played the piano beautifully at the weekend, and when I said 'be careful, he's heavy' to him when he picked LG up, BIL looked up and said 'don't worry - he's really strong from doing four 1 and a half hour swimming training sessions a week.' Poor kid - when does he find the time to have his piano lessons, I wonder? He has tutors, too. He cries if he gets a bit of mud on his shoes, though.

My only hope for Bear is that he gallops over Mark Todd to take the Badminton title aged 19.

Well I know Artie is going to be a Vet, but I?ll leave the choice of uni up to him ;) is that relaxed enough?

I may set MB up for showjumping as more dollars available to win? Non? Eventing more fun tho!!

I wanted to be a vet - not clever enough, apparently!

Silv showjumping is the new cricket - you can only be male AND a showjumper if you are a Yorkshireman. Tis the law. Glad to see horsey ESHes are not pushing their kids in the way of dressage!

boxer Probably because our men would decree it "gay". JB's convinced that William Fox-Pitt is not a ladies man, wheras I have firm anecdotal evidence which suggests quite the opposite. I've already explained that as a little boy who likes horses, Bear will be drowning in fanny. At my last yard there was a "boy" there, 21, vet student, not attractive, not particularly nice, but in posession of a penis and the girls were gagging for him!

boxer Oh the irony. In my time (since A-levels) I've come across a frightening number of dim vets/medics. Got talking to a girl here on mn who at our age (37) is now in her fourth year at vet school in Budapest. What with the removal of borders, eastern europe are opening their vet schools to english speakers who'll pay 12k a year in fees - far less than the UK schools for mature/second-timers. She told me it's full of Irish & Norwegians. Of course it's still tough, but it's not that tough. An old school friend of mine is now doing medicine at Glasgow - reckons the teens are lazy & thick and that it's all very simple which I very much believe.

"Bear will be drowning in fanny"

Before she was born, SFF and I had a jokey discussion about how Squeaks could make us lots of money. We got as far as realising how little cash there is in being a female sportswoman, no matter how successful. So many men have huge sponsorship deals, not so many women. Sad, but true.

So, of course, she will now be a vet/doctor/lawyer

She could be the third Williams' twin!

She could marry Will and Kate's first son. I already have my eye on their first daughter for Rastus

You'll need to sharpen those elbows cunty and the accent simply won't do. Hooooow noowwwww browwwwwn cooooowwwww. The raayne in Spayyyn falls maynnnly on the playyyyn.

Ooh, I like that - my little girl a cougar to prey on a young royal!

The Dutchess is already a cougar, so squeaker would simply be following current royal protocol.

V useful info above on milk feeds. Didn't bother feeding monkey at 1030 this morning just to see (actually was too busy shopping) and he hung on until noon. So... thinking I might follow your examples Okes and Cos and just miss out 11am and do 7,3 and 7. Would you do brekkie at 8, lunch at noon and tea at 5 then?

Ha ha to double piano and mandarin alps!! I'm also planning on having a tai kwando expert in the family. I figure it will knacker him out, teach him respect like in the Karate Kid and also self defence so he doesn't get bullied. And the girls will like it too! Genius!

Alps I know Mark Todd's old groom (and Dickie Waygood's too for that matter,) and they have a few eye-opening stories about who falls one way and who falls the other. And it's not who you might expect. My lips are sealed though. You would have to meet me in person for that info! Obviously all dressage boys are gay, except the one who is DEFINITELY NOT shagging Jordan.

Boring q, what next stage car seat has everyone got and would you recommend it?

Maxi cosi forward facing and it is ace.

we got the Britax First Class Plus. It's actually group 0 onwards and as Squeaks is still too small to forward-face, she has the britax in my car and the Maxi Cosi in her dad's. Saves a whole lot of hassle when he takes her to nursery and I pick her up. No idea what we will do when she can only go in the big seat, short of me driving back to the house to drop the car seat off. What do other people do?

My only complaint about the britax is how stiff the strap for tightening her restraints is. But I think it will be easier when it's forward facing.

Nice one on dropping the feed honey!