The CRESH Creche and Spa - future home of all ESH

[Muser]

I liked the CRESH acronym more than FESH so have used it. Welcome all ESH to your final stop on the journey. Rest your aching lady bits, try one of the many gin based cocktails, and try to molest the gorgeous waiting staff.

Who said dat? Actually I'm sorry, I saw you posted earlier in the week and I wanted to say "hello" but forgot. You can feed me to the sharks if you like! You're definitely not being ignored by me, I've been stalking following you happily on fb and reading about your coincidence/fish things this week - don't want this to sound stalky just that I do care and you're certainly not being ignored by me! :)

I think your life is very interesting - please don't feel that you don't have anything to offer. I for one would love to hear more about your work and how you balance it all - e.g., I've never heard what your daycare arrangement is (must've missed that one).

What poor mothering skills have you ammassed [sic] - have you fed baby moo anything really naughty yet? Other than dog hair obviously.

honey of course we are not ignoring you. i frequently write posts that get no response at all, sometimes that irks me a little, but I understand that it's just the way these boards work. i'm just happy that you've managed to achieve so much freedom. i am a bit sorry that our me,bership seems to be dropping. it's a real shame we never see iggy too, because I am particularly fond of her

Wot Casper said ESP about some posts not getting acknowledged etc. And put so much better than I could!!! I seem to have lost the ability to communicate. It's horrendous how bad it's got! Often write posts then don't post cos they are usually complete gobbledygook. Tho I also fond of you cos we Haz baybees close in age and I felt supported by you cos of our close die dates (plus the others also were v v kind dhb'ish before I gets jumped) in the late preggo and early baybee dayz.

Who is looking after BabyMoo and how is it going with the whole work/life/parent/mother balance and Haz your gin consumption skyrocketed or plummeted as a result?

Ah balls!!!!! Due not effing die!!!

Sorry. Return of droid yesterday seems to have turned me into a hormonal, NEEDY twit. Sorry. I feel bad really - bad cos I don't post, bad cos don't have time to post and then when I do moan!!! I guess that is how these boards work but because we have all been on here so long I feel like we are a bit more than that if you know what I mean. Anyway I will try and make more of an effort - what you reap you sow I suppose.

thanks for the messages this morning. I won't go on about work and woe is me. I'm lucky to have had the opportunity to do what I am doing, but I was naive and optimistic in the extreme to think I could easily do it from Jan this year on a day or so a week - tapping away on the laptop as the baby slept ha ha hah!!! It is sort of taking over my life as any new business would, and family here are suffering a bit (hence the day out yesterday). I found a cash in hand nanny from Feb/March to do a day a week as I wasn't able to cope - had to, as couldn't bottle feed so needed to be within boob distance. I also went up to my parents for 2 weeks and had to shuttle between office and their home every 3 hours to feed him! The relief of getting on bottle a month ago was immense as it was ridiculous what I was trying to juggle. Anyway the upshot is that it IS going well and hopefully will continue to do so, and will mean that I don't have to do 9-5 in an office. Does mean that I work most of the night every night - but get to see my boy every day and that for me is worth it!

Silver - yes the gin consumption has rocketed (not good really) and we are now only allowed to open bottle a night :) (I'm not actually joking here)

Most naughty thing fed to babymoo so far has to be cheesecake off my finger. Not exactly sushi, but not in the AK book!!!

Having a bbq today. weather is SHITE. Typical!

Hope you all have a good one!

Artie had icecream and chips in the same day when we went down to my dads! But becuase we is posh innit it was rhubarb, pear and garlic ice-cream

We think he must have hayfever, his eyes are streaming and he is full of snot and sneezes but seems well in himself. What to do about it?

moo sorry you are feeling ignored, can assure you not the case from me, just maybe some crossposting so have missed replying to you.

Glad you feel better honey. Sounds like some impressive juggling!

cos Squeaks has been the same - really snotty, coughing and lots of eye rubbing. I wonder if it's something they all go through as they build up resistance to pollen? I've not done anything specific, because she seems happy enough.

gah! So much crying since my last post. i think I can feel her first tooth. Gel applied, calpol given, cuddles galore. And then she finally calms down when I put on an ep of Alphablocks! then it finished, and the howling returned. < weep>

Perhaps best strategy to leave Squeaks in front of tv all night with baby stuff on repeat?

I must have played her about six episodes silv. Alphablocks is only on for a couple of minutes mind - and it's all about language innit! Eventually she decided food was the answer instead and ate and drank everything offered, which settled her for about 10 minutes each time before the crying resumed. Nice sharp bit poking through the bottom gum now. I can't believe it's taken so long to get this first tooth - she's nearly 11 months!

I am on a mission to cover every eventuality for our holiday. Swim training baby ring ordered, so she can bob around the pool. Washable swim nappies ordered. Trunki ordered. And I tried on loads of long lost summer clothes and they all fitted - hurray! I even squeezed the skirt of my wedding dress over my belly flab for a giggle. And, conveniently, that's when the crying began - about six hours ago. Clothes still abandoned all over my bed. Meh.

Hi ladies! Quick hello - am still lurking but failing to post, am sorry to be of no use for help or sympathy - am often sending sympathetic vibes though. Don't know why am so rubbish at posting, think the virtual keyboard on my "smartphone" doesn't help, is extremely annoying. You are all a continual source of strength, wisdom and hilarity.

Anyway, am on PC now. Yay to Squeaks and her first tooth! Luv to Honey and the evil droid - am v much enjoying mine being MIA. Okes - potty training sounds easy the way you describe!! - hope it continues.

WRT the sechs and straying, TSF is too knackered to even consider it, I reckon. In truth though I suspect any straying would be done by me if it were to happen, TSF just would not do anything that dishonourable. Makes him sound unbearable, which isn't the case at all, he just wouldn't.

Weaning sucks. Life was simpler when milk was all that was required. Am a bit OCD about food mess and struggle with half chewed, slimy leftovers. Fighting the urge to wipe Clint over after every mouthful. Or get matching Parent & Child hazmat suits.

Gave Clint spoonfuls of Carluccio's affogato on Friday. Am I sufficiently dangerous or simply terminally middle class?

LG had half a steak today. Seriously. Mind you, with gnashers like his, why not? Very worried he may get a taste for meat though - he is still BFing!

Moo take this rather large, wet, sloppy and dead fish I found out the back of London Aquarium and give yourself a bit of a slap. I don't ignore you. You is me mate innit. Laydeez, I can confirm mooster is working like the clappers and I have seen the fruits of her labour and it is truly excellent. I am looking forward to the second installment, However, I am most pissed off that all these long lesiurely lunches we talked about having while on mat leave have not happened as she fucking works so much.

Potty training has been ok so far, only one accident today which was during lunch and although he said "mummy wee wee coming" I looked to see that it had already come. Bless. No poos though and he is usually a regular 7.30am in the morning man. I did catch Mr C and mini Oke sat on toilet and potty repectively (Mr C reading Viz, mini Oke reading the Gruffalo) both apparently doing a poo - only one of them managed it. Anyway, he is off to nirsery tomorrow so we will have to see how it pans out.

Peppa still won't eat anything which I present on a spoon. Still I can't figure how to upload a video to t'other place as I am inept.

You're kinda right and kinda not Moo. Trouble is, once the baybees arrive there is often so little time for posting that we neglect each other. If I spend too much time on here then I'm neglecting my family and I know you bitches can manage without me so, in the time stakes, the family win.

So, the family are in bed, the man is walking the mutt & I'm on my third Pinot Grigio and free to post . Do update us on the world of work Moo...am missing it and need to be reminded that it's not all it's cracked up to be.

When does the holiday start CC???....I'm sure you've said but I've forgotten. Sounds like you're adequately equipped for all eventualities. And Yay! for wedding dress fitting - have got 3 stone to lose before that's even a possibility for me. Yay for the first tooth too - just another 27(?) to go

No chance of you tucking into Clint's leftovers then VAG??? T'is my downfall I'm afraid - 6 meals a day, that's me...hence the 3+stone to be shifted.

Has the bitless bridle worked Alps [nosey]

Mmm rhubarb ice-cream [salivates]. Made some rhubarb & ginger with my new ice-cream maker t'other day - was delish. Boxer has rhubarb coming our of her ears so will have to try it with pear and, errr, garlic

Cluck you are right. I struggle to keep on top of rearing two kids, keeping the house presentable for any tom, dick and fuckwit who may want to buy it, and shag my husband every so often. Whenever I fire up the laptop I get a sigh from Mr C as if to say "are you on mumsnet AGAIN". So what if I am as I am no way on here as much as I used to be.

Ditto when HI is home I leave my phone charging upstairs as I get whinged for "always being on that phone". Well excuse me but you bought me the bloody thing!!!!

Wahey gin ! Took yer fucking time luv and we've drunk all the good stuff, but there are some Belgian beers still going. La Chouffe (chilled) and Palm (room temp). Loads of crap ham left though.

okie The potty training sounds to be going quite well - when do they start learning to stand up to do a wee? Presumably that's when the man of the house steps in to show them how to point & dab? The one part of parenting men can take sole responsibility for.

VAG I feel you and it was one of the reasons it took me so long to get a smart phone, I needed one with a keyboard! My fat sausage-like fingers are not designed for teeny-weeny touch screens. As for food mess, considered getting a dog? I gave Bear a plate full of food yesterday just to let him have a bit of fun rather than the intention being to eat as it wasn't mealtime. I turned my head for literally 3 seconds and there was a big clunk and the plate was upside down on the floor. Oh yes, whose clever idea was it to serve runny-yoked eggs & beans? Dogs made light work of it though and a wet wipe did the rest.

moo I'm confused - have you started up your own business?

kate Bitless bridle seems to be OK but will require more experimentation. Went up to ride yesterday lunchtime and clearly need an app on my phone to catch horses. She was extremely hormonal, i.e., walking like John Wayne and spraying everything that moved - to the point where the young geldings were attacking (!) her because she was being such a sex pest. Upshot was, couldn't catch her so returned home empty-handed. So will go up after work today. If her teeth/bridle have been bothering her than I'm not really surprised she doesn't want to be caught. The fucking Shitland was grazing again. :(

Did you try the calmer? I rode yesterday. Still coughing and farting but not as bad tho when I rode last week twice he didn't cough at all so go figure. Riding again later assuming my body let's me. Feel achey all over. That's what not riding regularly does to ya.

VAG we had bananas everywhere yesterday luckily the mutt loves it. MB even managed to get some in his mush.

MB still asleep! He was awake around 630 talking away and now he's soundo again.

Gin birf story or did I miss it?

gin! Actually i think you'll find it's polpoo that requires the poppers, unless she's been out for some 'appendage covers' since that last time...

MN just doesn't work at all well on my smartphone.

Hello Gin, VAG, Moo and any of our other sporadic posters!

cunty she's a dirty biatch that pollster...

alps yeah sorry I've been sort of loitering but life has been a bit crazy mental. Wrt to the wee question, mooch has been doing 'man wees' for quite a while now, he went to the toilet with grandad on hols and after asking 'grandad why are you WEEING IN THE SINK????' (urinal) he has wanted to stand up for wee. This has led to recent lively debates about why I sit down to wee,does it come out of my bottom etc etc.

silv I has not written birf story yet you're right. Should have proper Internet connected in new house any second now (when thefuckers bring the right modem) so I may try then. Phone on 3G bastard slow.

I would also like to give moo a quick facelick lest she becomes enraged (:)) and give fanny a pint of gin for really,really making me laugh

Crap ham o'er all your houses (ooo literary)

Except it should be on not o'er. twat.

Throws arms around gin and proffers sneaky suckerpunch disguised as a hug.

gin! Buuuuuuuunnnnndddddllllllle! Great to see you luvver

Hol not for another six weeks kate, but it is my thing of joy to focus on. And the dress didn't actually fit - I managed to fasten the skirt, but only after hoiking it above my wobbly belly. The shape is such that anything below the skirt's waist (which would not fit around mine) is nicely hidden. 'tis nice to dream though

Yes moo please to explain own business?

silv my mutt never used to eat banana. But now if it's a case of it going to her or the baby, she's there! Dropped a piece of apple peel at the weekend. Mutt ignored it. Then Squeaks made a beeline for it and suddenly dog lept over her to get it and swallowed it whole without chewing. Silly bugger.

alps, cos, box and kate you make me jealous with this talk of standing up wees, posh ice cream and steak.

vag you must be terminally middle class because I don't even know what that stuff you mentioned is . Sorry weaning is a pain. Yes, you will have to get over the fear of food mess, I'm afraid. But the weather is improving, so you can take him outside, in the buff, and throw things at him to see if they stick. And do remember the mantra recently raised by fanny: until one, food is for fun. Try not to stress and just let him play.

okes I think you might become our potty training guru.

sorry if I missed anyone