The CRESH Creche and Spa - future home of all ESH

[Muser]

I liked the CRESH acronym more than FESH so have used it. Welcome all ESH to your final stop on the journey. Rest your aching lady bits, try one of the many gin based cocktails, and try to molest the gorgeous waiting staff.

Because I went through customs once in Milan with a Liverpool fan, the very next day after a humiliating defeat. He prickled the customs team's pride and we were subjected the the kind of search (all 9 of us) that was heading slowly but inexorably toward a rubber glove finale. After nearly half an hour in which they turned up the sensitivity on the metal detector arch to maximum and we all had to remove every metal thing from our personages, (including such insignificant items as a hairgrip,) we were eventually rescued by an Iberia crew who loudly announced they were happy to help their colleagues at my company and proceeded to start to strip off, much to the concern of the Italian customs. I had been attempting to plead with them in Spanish, which they said they did not understand, but suddenly they all spoke Spanish like natives when confronted with a gang of jolly loud disrobing Spaniards, and let us through!

Oh, it's a laugh a minute being at work. Especially in Italy. How we laughed when the Rome security team planted Semtex on my plane to train a sniffer dog and then couldn't remember where they had put it, and the dog couldn't find it either.

Why are we going to Italy again?

Loving the sniffer dog that couldn't find the drugs!

I am knackered. I went to bed at midnight, couldn't get to sleep for ages. Then I was up with BB at 1.45, 2, 3.45. At 4am I figured I might as well just get up. I ended up feeding her and she has finally gone back to sleep. Just in time to Boo to get up. Meh.

I hope it's good quality coffee Pols, you don't want to be getting by on that instant crap!

boxer How's TT doing?

Shitland at the stables owned by Malibu Barbie has chronic laminitis. I almost burst in to tears when I saw it hopping across the yard last night and if one of my dogs were walking like that I'd have them put down. I've seen the stupid fucking cunt rather than "starving" it, actually taking it out for walks to eat the long, lush grass on the verges. This is a really fucking good reason why people who don't know shit about horses shouldn't around willy-nilly buying them for their children.

I walked past a sniffer dog at CDG with half an E in my bag en route to Bangkok. Imagine the humiliation getting done for drugs on your way to Thailand!?

Box !

h polstar! that sucks. MB woke me us up at 4 am with his cough. Have rearranged outing with TinyBoy but am wondering whether I should go to a new baby group today. Thing is it will be my first visit and I suspect as there is bf support there that there may be ickle new ones there and wonder whether I should keep away this week!?

silver It might be a variety of topics - you could get patronised about things which previously you were unconcerned about. I think this was a brilliant move of our cunty's - she didn't get involved with "all that shoite" and so has never questioned her choices - because she's not had a bunch of Boden-clad insipid Ocado-waiting ass-clowns telling her what she should be doing!

VAG Have you done the sechs yet?

OK, semi-serious question. Are any of you whom are not having sex - worried that your husbands will stray?

boxer I remember some time ago you were saying we shouldn't wean early and that there was no need for it, but also noticed that you'd started with your son earlier - why the shift in attitude, what made you change your mind on this issue? Was it because he couldn't drag his eyes from your plate?

alps we have a similar situ at our place. Pony bought for Christmas. Novice owners. Pony gets lami. Pony out 24/7 since Easter weekend. Pony fat as a barrel. They asked me my advice and I suggested in during day and out at night or muzzle. They said they'd leave it out for the mo cos they check on it every morning.

My hoss has been ridden twice by me this week "after work" and he has not coughed! Result! Clearly the hayfever syrup is working it's shiz.

Wrt straying men HI wouldn't. I trust him. He also knows that if he did he'd be out the door minus his tackle. No second chances no nothing.

Do you think a 6.5mth old is too old to take to a baby group? Am thinking it's designed more for newbies. I still may go as the cough is not constant and who knows what germs they are all carrying anyway!!

Talking of Ocado I spotted an Ocado delivery van parked up in Asda's!!

silv Is it possible to explain it as something like "Type II" diabetes? Make it more understandable for them? If they want "less work", then a muzzle would be a good way to go I suppose.

I'm starting to suspect the beast has teeth issues. I just don't know. :( She goes beautifully right now in the Pelham when I use the curb rein (very lightly), when I loosen that rein (or just lay it on her neck) sometimes she continues well, other times there's a head-tossing nightmare. :( Last night doubly fun as a huge 15' long cart for the heavy horses had arrived and was wrapped in flappy plastic in. the. middle. of. the. yard! There was also a bull mounting cows the other side of the sand paddock. Bah. Am looking at experimenting with a Hackamore.

I don't think it's too old Silv. Plenty of older babies at the groups I go to. I like being able to chat to people with older babies who've been through it all.

If TBG strayed due to lack of sex he wouldn't be the man I thought he was and not the kind of man I'd have married, so he'd be out on his arse. I'd like to think he's not quite that shallow.

6.5m is a baby so perfectly ok to take to baby group!

what muser said re straying.

Also if there is a bf support group on , you could ask for tips on feeding out and about now he?s so easily distracted?

I don't think TG would stray - mostly because he is too tired and does not have the time! Also, he knows that it is something I could never forgive so he'd be out on his ear. I think my exact words were something like 'bollocks, off and cut' rearranged into a popular phrase. (popular in our house anyway)

Am and at the poor ponieez with laminitis. Fucktards.

If either of us was going to stray it would probably be me....I do miss the heady days of my 20's [slut]. To be perfectly honest, with all this wobble and flab I wouldn't inflict myself on anyone. Also, and most importantly, I couldn't bear to be the one responsible for breaking up my lovely family so I'll be sticking with my rampant rabbit

Silv if MB were in tip top health would you still be having this wobble? If so then don't go. I bet when you get there though there'll be another brat with rivers of snot and a hacking, phlegmy cough which will make you wonder why you ever worried.

Grrr at the novice owners - if they want less work they should sell the poor animal and cut out all the pain and heartache that will inevitably come.

Sod it! We are going!!!!!!!!! Let's hope they ate a friendly bunch and let's hope it's decent coffee. . Thanks hags! All good advice. Reckon the snot covered toddler at the group I went to last week.

Anyone watching Jezza!? He's kicking off!!!

Cluck TMI, thank you!

Pol it was worse than the dog missing drugs, it missed explosives. Lots of panicking little Italian men shouting loudly at it and ripping seats apart probably didn't help it's concentration. It was a rather sweet, little bit chubby black lab with a permanent air of confusion. In the wrong job, if that's possible for a dog.

Silv go to the baby group. I would. If you are worried about there being tiny babies there, find a toddler group. I started going to the toddler group when TT was about 7 months and have made really good friends there. They are not all Stepford Wives! TT wasn't sure to start with, but also has good friends there now. I told her she had better play with the other kids or else!

Alps thanks for asking about TT - I assume you are asking about the events of last weekend? She's OK with it all, but a bit confused. Seems to accept it and then a bit later says 'but when is she coming back?'

As for the weaning thing - I actually only started to give LG food proper about a week before 6 months. He was still mostly playing with it a month later but dives right in now. I started giving him food because he was successfully popping all sorts of wrong things in his mouth - paper, stones, big sister's left overs! I haven't changed my opinion on weaning, and my thoughts are very much along the same lines as Cos's - When the child can sit up unaided and shows an interest, ie grabbing for your food, watching you intently when you eat, that's the right time. And that usually coincides with 6 months. As with due dates, the 6 month thing is a bit of a moveable date. Very few babies are 100% happy with milk only on the last day of the 5th month and then fully ready for food on the 1st day of the 6th month. However, as with due dates the usual time frames vary only by a few weeks. It wouldn't be unreasonable to have a baby not start weaning at 5 months or 7 months. But a baby that can't hold it's own weight up being shovelled with baby rice to fill it up, or a crawling older baby who still only has milk are both a bit . I think the last time we were discussing weaning in detail you mentioned that in NL most people have given their babies some food by 7 weeks which is why I gave my thoughts then.

Interestingly, LG is not bothered about feeding himself at all, but sits there with his mouth open grabbing for the spoon hand to shove it towards his mouth. Give him a bit of finger food and he picks it up and chucks it off the tray - the only thing he will reliably feed himself is Cheerios (usually found on the floor after TT has finished her breakfast. TT, otoh, is a slow eater and will not allow herself to be fed. When she was a baby if I tried to put a spoon in her mouth she would clamp it shut and not eat anything at all. Just goes to show that when you think you have babies sussed another one comes along a throws all your theories out.

Also at the pony-twits. I have to regularly wrestle the Shitland to the ground to put her disco-pink grazing muzzle on - not sure whether she objects to the colour or restricted food intake. TT chose the colour! Touch wood, not had laminitis with her in over 3 years of owning her except for the mechanical laminitis she had when I got her (which was resolved by correct hoof trimming. That's another thing with pony owners - they think because the pony is little it doesn't need hoof care and teeth care in the same way a bigger horse does.) I went to a talk by the Spillers feed lady though not long ago, and there is a lot of interesting changes in the knowledge we have about horses' calorific intake when they are on restricted grazing. Just like humans, a pony who is only let at the food occasionally will gorge itself and eat much more than if it were able to feed at a steady level constantly. The issue is more to do with the quality of the grazing than the quantity - 24hrs a day turnout on very poor grass is now considered better than limited hours on better pasture. But the poor pony Alps mentions has clearly got beyond prevention, and by the sound of it needs rapid treatment. Other than giving the owners a huge smack I have no idea what to suggest.

Haha! Long post = LG asleep! Woken up now though because the builder has started the power tools up again.

Sorry Box, sleep deprivation has obviously affected my ability to read and retain information. Can we have a video of you wrestling the shitland to get the pink muzzle on?

We started weaning Boo at just before 6 months. She hadn't shown much interest in food until Boxing Day when my family were visiting. One sis was holding Boo in her arms and my other sis walked past with a bowl of mum's fab trifle. Boo practically leapt out of K's arms, swiped a handful of trifle and shoved it in her gob. She couldn't have spelt it out more clearly if she'd tried!

How is the building work going Box?

On the subject of death and getting children to understand, I blame Walt bloody Disney. Thanks to Peter Pan, Boo thinks that people die but always come back, just like Tinkerbell. No amount of explaining will convince her otherwise.

box Not quite sure where you got the 7 weeks thing.

I do recall telling of an article I'd read in the British press saying that most parents had given the baby a "taste" of food at an early age, although I believe it was later than 7 weeks.

Poor TT. :(

Building work is going much like everything else this week - it's happening, but is quite hard work. The space we are going to have is just fantastic, I can't wait! But we have had a lot of bother with the fact that the architect neglected to make any provision for the finished floor level in the extension being lower than the depth of the footings in the old bit of house (it's over 400 years old and the footings are only 3 bricks deep!) So we have to take up all the floor and put bits of steel in to support it - which would have been much easier if they had done it to start with. Hey ho - it's only money though, isn't it? I will just have to send the children out to work.

About death, I have been getting increasingly persistent questioning for some time about where Nemo's mummy went. I think she has figured it out now, but we still have some very delicate conversations about it.

pol that's what Artie did - he was on my knee in a restaurant and reached out for a handful of pasta!

I would never know if Mr C would stray until it happens . I would hope not mind you but who knows. One thing for sure is if he does I will hit him where it hurts most - his pocket and then his balls.

Box I am with you on the weaning thing. I tried BLW with Mini Oke and he wasn't having any of it. Peppa on the other hand seems to prefer waving veggie batons about and ramming them in her mouth to a fully loaded spoon. Mini Oke showed no interest in food until 6 months, Peppa was clearly ready about 2 to 3 weeks ago but I held off due to the medical study we are in. I think it is a matter of knowing your child and having a bit of common sense despite what official advice is.

So... this 4 month sleep regression. Does it affect day time naps too? This child is refusing to sleep and is doing my head in. She woke up at 10.20 this morning and has been awake since. She refuses to sleep on me, in the swing chair and is now screeching her head off upstairs. If I pick her up she just screams at me so I had to put her down and walk out of the room to calm down. I am knackered and pissed off and feeling like a crap mother.

it didn't for us. i always resort to a pointless drive in these situations.

We were just about to leave for an hours round trip to view a house. Now the fucktard agent has called to cancel and says we'll some it 'some time next week'. Does she want to let the house or not?

BB has never been a great sleeper during the day but this is just taking the piss. Neighbour recommended a chiropractor in Yeovil. By chance i am going there on Friday to get my back sorted so will try and get BB slotted in too.

Great, now I have Boo home from school whining at me about cake!

How is work going Cos? Good news on the drinking of milk. Work is sounding like a rather attractive alternative at present!