March 2011 - we made it!

[Muser]

The waiting is over, the babies are arriving. March 2011 mums, come on in your time is up.

that poem also made me a little teary but then I keep telling her already that I don't want her to grow up. As much as I moan I love being the most important person in her life - I know, I'm a bad mother

haloflo - before I met up with the girls I met at the NCT group i was expressing for my trips out of the house as I was worried about exposing myself too but being around them bf in the pub we all met up in was very reassuring - can you get yourself to a baby group? I know what you mean about feeling weird around family - my dad leaves the room and my brother awkwardly averts his eyes although strangely my brother was the only one who encouraged me to bf as (and I quote) I'll "save a fortune in formula". I have now also given up on nursing tops as I feel they are too revealing. Instead I follow advice I got on MN - I wear a loose top and when I feed I lift the top tucking in a muslin cloth under my bra strap to cover my belly. It is a lot less revealing and I don't cover my top in milk as much :) I hope this is of some help to you.

Anya slept for 6 hours straight last night, although I didn't as I kept waking to check on her. I don't know if it is a coincidence that yesterday was the first day I used infacol before every feed. I know it's probably a blip though and tonight she'll revert to her old ways although she's 6 weeks old in 2 days so maybe not :)

Catherine I've been to a couple of groups. I feed ok at them as everyone is feeding. Guess I need to keep going and practising. How do you feed without a cushion? I have to carry a bean bag pillow with me wherever I go. DD is 10lb 11 now and I can't support her weight in one arm. Wow at 6 hours sleep. I hope it continues and you can sleep too.

Hello all. Hope you are all enjoying the lovely weather. I second the idea that baby groups are a good way to improve your confidence with BF in public as you can perfect the way you do before branching out. I had the whole public feeding with DS1 and felt terribly isolated and it sounds like you might be going the same way so please definitely give them a try just to boost your confidence or try a playground, evberyone will be too busy with their own DC and if you get it wrong and there is some crying people much less likely to hear/notice and will sympathise if they do.

E is doing well. He is every 2.5/3 hrs with formula. I sort of expected to have fallen into the every 4 hour bracket by now (week 6) but I am happy to follow his lead and as long as there is a pattern and I know what it is I am happy. He is waking at night generally once about 3am although depending on when DH and I go to bed there can be a 12ish one too and then 6am and he normally dozes back off after this one, but then I am up getting packed lunches, breakfasts etc but it helps enormously that E sleeps.

That poem is spot on exactly how I feel this time round. Having wasted so much time with DS1 and DS2 I am determined to make every single stage last and be enjoyed. E spends a lot of time in his beanbag whilst I do dinner, bath the boys, tidy up etc then I noticed that I fed him in it the other day (you can puff it to a more upright position) and then I just thought I am not havign any more babies he is going to be this small for such a small amount of time so have made a pact with myself to carry him and just hold him more - I use the sling more than the pushchair this time and just want to enjoy that closeness before we move to the next stage.

I am leaving him with DH ALL DAY tomorrow as I have to go and buy something for my BIL wedding. Not looking forward to it but it is such a congested place i need to go to and will be trying things on constantly.

Thats us in a nutshell. Got some friends coming soon so will say goodbye for now,.

halo I go to a breast feeding clinic/group nearly every single day (annoyingly there are 2 per day but nothing on a monday or thursday). we have a nice feed, cup of tea and chocolate biscuits (I only go to the groups with biscuits!) If its an all day group then we all arrive with a packed lunch and stay all day :) I worked out that we must have had over 300 feeds now -with that many you'd think we'd get it right sometimes just by accident!

I practised public feeding in front of family & friends & most of them didn't notice i was feeding (i sometimes practise doing it discreetly on the sofa) - apart from my mum's bff who was so tickled by our bf position that she started taking photos (we use saddle hold so very little holding and no pillow required)! So far when we have been out shopping we have been using feeding rooms - john lewis, boots, mothercare, shopping centre etc.... Also ditched feeding tops - tshirt up, vest top down.

I am counting down the hours til bf group tomorrow as my nipples are bloody killing me - night time feeds seem to hurt more?

sorry mammoth post but wanted you to know that you're not the only one battling through. We wouldnt still be bf today if wasn't for the support groups.

Glad you enjoyed the poem :)

Crikey mixedmama E's night sleeping is great! DD is going to bed about 8pm (depending on settling), waking at 11.30ish for a feed and again at 3.30 and then up and wide wide eyes about 6am :( ! I am exhausted, and she is 2 months old today. What time do you put E to bed? Does formula help them sleep longer stretches?

On public feeding. Probably nobody is watching as you latch on. If they are they probably won't see anything. If they do, they'll probably look away quickly and you see more tits on the front of Nuts or any other lad mags.

If you try to do it in a cluster you will get it wrong. Take your time, ignore your surroundings and do it. Face a wall if you can and that helps. And if anyone is in London I will happily meet up with you and feed in public all day long. I've not fed on a bus yet but I have fed just about everywhere else.

Also worth remembering that a screaming baby attracts way more attention then a feeding one.

On sleep, 11 weeks here and she still thinks 10pm is a good bedtime.

To feed without a cushion - If possible find a chair with an arm so you can rest your arm on it and I cross my legs so that Anya's bum/back is resting on my knee that way my arm is only taking the weight of her head. My arm still starts to ache though after 15 minutes but she usually doesn't feed much longer than that. You could also use a sling - my baby carrier is an upright one but we still managed to feed in it the other day and I had 2 free hands to make myself a sandwich :)

So far I have only fed when in pubs but on Thursday I'm travelling from Surrey to Manchester via train and tube which is going to take a good 5 hours so expecting to have to feed then - that worries me a bit as I've not had to make her wait for a feed yet but if she decides she wants feeding right before I have to change trains I might have to

I dumped the cushion for feeding quite quickly. If I'm feeding on the right side I use my left arm to get her on, then slide my right arm under so her head is resting in the crook of my arm. You can then also use your left arm for additional support.

Always look for a chair with a back as then you can lean back and that helps as most of the baby's weight is on your body rather than on your arm. Practice at home and you'll soon build up your muscles!

1Catherine you could feed her in advance if you've got a long switch. I've done that when travelling. You don't have to weight for her to want to feed, if she's anything like mine she won't say no to a little something!

And if not, I've crossed Gatwick with a screaming hungry baby. It's bit fun, but it won't hurt her.

petty my nipples hurt way more at night. I'm taking paracetamol each evening before bed as I know they will hurt. They are toughening up and it usually only hurts a bit when Elijah latches on but at night they tingle really painfully.

On BF in public. Admittedly we haven't ventured out of the village yet but I've BF all round the village! I don't care now. I thought I'd be really self-conscious but I did it in front of my horrid Father in Law the other day as I thought sod it!

I have bought 3 "boob" tops as they are really discreet. Thought the shirt up vest down seems equally as discreet.

I'm going to try to sleep with earplugs in tonight. Last night got into a right tizz as my husband is a heavy breather, Elijah grunts all the time (!) and I am such a light sleeper that even when E was asleep I couldn't sleep through his crazy noises. Am relying on my light-sleeperness to still wake me up when he wants feeding. If not my husband will have to. Wish me luck!

nello - he is normally in the sitting room with us till I go to bed about 10pm, so he doesnt go down as such. Sometimes he will fall asleep abotu 9pm, sometimes like today more like 7.45pm and is still asleep. Tonight he is likely to wake as I go to bed so will have his first night feed then and then probably about 2am and 5am so the normal 3 feeds. It is the morning when I try to do a million things that it is handy for him to nap.

DH has just come home to tell me that he is taking DS2 and E to his mums tomorrow whilst I go shopping for thr BIL wedding. Stressed now as it is his cultural custom to shave a new borns head and this time I have insisted on not doing it - he has accepted this but I just know tomorrow he is going to be under pressure and he knows how I feel but really worried he is going to cave and I will come home to a bald baby. I actually feel physically sick with the worry. We just had a convo about it and I have made it clear that I will be fuming and it will cause issues if he does it. I wanted to take E with me anyway now I really want to. It may be a small thing but I have said no and just this once I want it my way over this issue as I find it really really upsetting. And breathe.

Sorry for the rant.

Muser I am in London and fancy a meet up. Not BF though but I will happily keep you company.

nello the poem was fab - thanks for sharing. It is so true.. they grow up so quickly!!

Just put Bethan up to bed... for the last 2 nights I have done this:- a quiet low light feed in the bedroom, wind her and then put her in the crib before she is cuddled to sleep... I then come downstairs with the monitor. She has a little grumble, but eventually drops off to sleep! On Saturday she went 10pm-6.15am and last night 10pm-6.30am Fingers crossed for tonight. I am just drinking a hot chocolate and then off to bed myself!!

Regarding weight loss.... I too keep telling myself I will cut down on the chocolate and snacks, but then in the next breath I tell myself I need the calories as I'm breast feeding!!!

Mixedmamma you can rant away - I hope that your DH and his family respect your wishes and don't shave his head! Fingers crossed for you xx

weight loss I am sitting here eating DS1's easter eggs whilst he's napping

daysleep Lara is happy in moses basket at night but only settles on the move or in the sling in the day - she's in the sling now so I can eat lunch!!!

mixedmama hope the in laws respect your wishes - you're good not to just take him with you - I'd have said sod it and taken him!

Was going to write more but DD awake now so better go!

Hi ladies

Just managed to catch up whilst Ruby is sleeping. I've been struggling with my emotions and i dont' feel I have improved since giving birth. I'm very teary most of the tme and just feel very overwhelmed with it all. Spoke to HV today, she assures me it's normal to feel this way but it could be the beginnings of postnatal depression.

The silliest thing is, is Ruby is a good baby, she feeds 4-5 oz every 3 to 4 hours and generally feeds 3 times during the night. She cries and struggles a fair bit with wind, but newborn babies tend to don't they! She was 7lb13oz at birth, today she weighs 9lb13oz - she is 4 weeks old tomorrow. So, it makes no sense that I feel the way I do.

I've just read nellos poem and it's all put it into perspective, so thank you very much for that.

Sorry, it's quite a sad post from me, but I have good support from my DH and family. The hv is coming back next week so hopfeully I will start to feel better by then.

Kpidgeon, Ruby grunts and makes all sorts of weird noises from her moses basket during the night, she sounds more like a farmyard animal than a baby!

Hope you are all well - will check in again soon x

JoJo it makes perfect sense you feel the way you do - Ruby is your first isn't she? It's a MASSIVE life adjustment - your entire lifestyle changes. You're no longer the priority in your own life which is overwhelming and a massive responsibility! I was exactly the same with DS - took me ages to realise that my life wasn't over - it was just different. Plus your emotions are so high because you're so keen to do a good job - and there's nothing wrong with that. Of course if you and your HV think it could be the start of PND then you need to address it, but I just wanted to say that I was just the same and now on DC2 I'm finding it tough but not half the roller-coaster that DC1 was.

Don't worry about the "sad" post - that's what the thread is here for. I too have my worries - DD can't self-settle at all yet but I'm not going to try and do anything about that til she's a bit bigger - trying to establish 7pm bedtime first! (With little success!)

Well I did it. I fed in Starbucks! And it was a pain free feed. I am going again tomorrow so fingers crossed tomorrow's experience is the same.

jojo Look after yourself. It is understandable how you feel, I hope it lifts soon but if it doesn't you get the help and support you need.

pettyp Am jealous of your all day feeding groups. There are 2 a week in my area (north lancashire) - 2 hours on a Wednesday, 2 hours on a Thursday and none serve cakes or biscuits - we get fruit! I had a good day today though - I hope yours is going well too.

kpigeon I hope you sleep well tonight. DD squeals and grunts too. Doesn't make for a peaceful night although I like the reassurance she is ok!

Oh regarding weight loss, I have a another stone to lose. I need to buy some clothes in the size up I think and accept that it might take some time. Anyone else still in maternity gear? It felt ok a week after the birth but its a bit of a shame over a month later that I am wearing clothes that bag on the stomach.

lozario Your talk of chocolate is making me crave some!

Off for a late afternoon nap - I'm a bit tired after Anya was sick last night so only wanted to sleep in my arms but before i go I just want to say a big well done to Haloflo! Keep it up - I hope it goes just as well tomorrow, I'm glad you didn't confine yourself to the house after all :)

oh and on the weight loss - I'm doing everything backwards again - in pregnancy I lost weight and after giving birth I was a whole stone lighter than I was pre pregnancy - I'm now putting weight back on!! Pregnancy is obviously good for me

Jojo I still have a cry every day. I'm quite a cry-y person though anyway so it's normal for me to be tearful. It's a huge life change! I think it would be weird not to be overwhelmed!
And well done on Ruby's weight gain, that's brilliant.

Shouldn't have started a weight loss thing, sorry. The only reason I've lost so much is because I was such a mess after my brutal birth- lost my appetite completely, plus was on loads of laxatives and also breastfeeding. So no work from me went into the weight loss. It's early days still for all of us isn't it.

Am not in maternity gear but down to a few trousers/skirts that were really baggy on me before pregnancy.

The earplugs really helped! Blocked out the major grunts and I still knew when E needed feeding every 3 hours or so. Phew!

Little E has had a sticky eye the past few days. I've been wiping it with cool boiled water but my HV just said I can try breastmilk as it's antibacterial! Who'd have thought!

Anyone know what to do with a 5 week old who has suddenly started crying/shouting ALL DAY and not sleeping v much? There is nothing obviously wrong - been through the checklist - the only thing it might be is a windy bum (It seems to be quite active down there) but no signs of pain/discomfort?

Today I have completed my mission to meet every breast feeding adviser in Cardiff It turned into a bit of a mission once my mw jokingly said there was only one or two that I hadn't met

I am for some public bf-ing with anyone in the cardiff/newport area

KPidgeon same goes for any little skin rashes baby might get in the early weeks- just wipe over with breastmilk and voila! gone by the morning!

jojo I second lozario . I was up and down tearful and happy and tearful again for a good six weeks with DD1, just an absolute roller coaster of emotion. I felt a complete mess, but it lifted as I settled into my new role. This time round it only lasted a week as had to get on with things so much quicker.

I do hope your emotions sort themselves out for you quickly, and HV is a reassurance.

Hey Jojo at 4 weeks i was also very emotional, overwhelmed and feeling really down and was worried it could be PND. Now at 8 weeks I still have days (yesterday I cried a lot) and i often use the shower as chance to have a little cry and then try and pick myself up and remeber I am the adult and she is only a little baby! i have found the change to motherhood reeeally hard, and have been mourning my old life/old me, but it has got better and now i feel more settled with Rosa everyday, though i do feel very lonely. I love her more now than ever as she is smiling and cooing and it really helps when you are feeling low, so do believe that this is going to come to you too. Now she is 8 weeks I have started a baby yoga and a baby masage class which helps, just to have some kind of structure to the week and meet other people. I am very isolated (living in Mexico but don't speak Spanish and don't know many people, no HVs, hard to find baby groups etc) and i think these things do have a massive bearing on how you feel. Try and find a few little things that you can start doing - even if in a few weeks time, start thinking about possibilies now so that you look forward to them.

Big hug.

Also, i go on a a morning walk each day and buy myself a take away coffee as I walk. she naps as I walk and at least i feel like i am interacting with the wider world a bit. To take a shower, before going out, I feed her then take her changing mat onto the bathroom floor as i shower with the door open singing songs to her. I find if I have the shower and the walk at the start of the day then I feel better for the rest of the day, it gives me a routing and makes me belive I am coping ok!

Getting out of the house definitely helps lift the baby blues. Have a look at what's on offer round you. Your local NCT probably has tons going on and you don't have to have gone to their ante-natal classes or be a member to join in. And as nello says even a walk in the park can help.

Also, getting your partner to take the baby out for a walk can be a lifesaver. Gives you a bit of me time. DON'T USE THE TIME TO TIDY. At the weekends my fella tries to take our lo out for at least an hour and I have a nap. Tis bliss. And if she's having a screaming fit for now obvious reason and I'm at the end of my tether I have been known to instruct him to take her away so I can pull myself together. The solo version of this is to leave the baby safe in one room, go into another and have a good shout. Small babies are incredibly frustrating sometimes.

pettyprudence it may just be lack of sleep that is causing the screaming. There seems to come a point where some babies stop falling asleep easily and you have to work hard to make them nap in the day. My girl will now only nap quickly in the sling, the buggy takes ages. So I sling her up and go for a walk. Or it might just be a bad week, maybe a growth spurt? It's the right time for a growth spurt.

Any other Londoners up for a meet then?

Final stage on this epic post! I went to my first buggy fitness session today in an effort to shift some weight. 11 weeks on and I have lost nothing since the birth. Too much cake countering the breastfeeding there. It was great fun, I highly recommend looking for something similar if you're past your 6 week check and feeling up to it.

I'm in London! SE, Dulwich area, but I have DS1 with me all the time too so might be a bit tricky! Where are the other Londoners?

How are people with a toddler also doing bedtime? DH often doesn't get home in time to help, so I've been practising the whole thing on my own the last few nights. It's IMPOSSIBLE!!! Best thing seems to be bf-ing DD when DS is in the bath, then dump DD in Moses basket whilst I get DS down. DD usually wakes again quite soon after and needs resettling but it's getting better - first night it took nearly 3 hours, then last night an hour and a half. Sounds like she's waking again now! Getting there slowly but surely I think, it's trial and error isn't it...