June 2008: new year, new diets, new resolutions, but when push comes to shove creme eggs are still the solution!

[KnittingRocks]

Sorry, couldn't cope with Christmas anymore!

hi all. mid of night feed here one handed and left handed at that! not easy....

madness here, busy all day but don't do anything. amazing how quick u forget the insanity of newborns.

thank u for all the msgs. felix doing well, 3.3kg at birth. 3.2kg yesterday, so all good. amber i think he may be the size of your littlest? and he was born at 37w5d so you may not like being preg, but u are bloomin good at it!

oh dear. garbled and terrible writing! will try again later, love to all

Self Centred post:

I?ve killed the thread!

Just left the house for a coffee ? woo hoo! With DH, DS1 and DS2. So weird to write DS2. I?ve just had my first large caffeinated flat white (like a latte) for months, so as you may be able to tell I am a bit hyper. Plus both boys are currently napping, which is a miracle in itself. I know I should be sleeping too but am over caffeinated?.

Quick summary: Felix was born at 10.10am on Mon 10.01.10. Is anyone geeky enough to know if 1010100110 means anything in binary code? 7lb 4oz / 3.3kg after about 30 very painful minutes of trying to get the spinal block in. Anyway, all turned out well. F took straight to the breast in the recovery room! Amazed me after 5-10 days of formula and BF hell with Ryder. Seems to feed quite well so far, although I have a blood blister on one nipple, it doesn?t hurt TOO much?. Could be down to all the post surgery drugs though . (Amber I remember how bloody awful it was with Ry though, so I feel your pain and TBH am worried that it?s all going to go wrong any min)

Strangely almost all of the medical staff at my hosp were British or certainly non Kiwi. Of the approx 10 people in surgery, one or maybe two were kiwis. Recovery both nurse and mw were british. And on the ward I met two kiwis of about 15 members of staff!

Speaking of which, I am told CS scar is healing nicely, if this is nicely I?d hate to know what badly was. At times I actually feel like I am being stabbed or that vinegar is being poured into an open wound at the least?

Hormone wise, after the PTSD trauma last time, we had arranged for DH to stay with me the first night (luckily had own en suite room). However after he left on the second night I dissolved in tears and was found by lovely MW who suggested I call him. IL?s took Ry again and he stayed all three nights in the end. I got teary again last night, but only ten mins or so. It?s really tough knowing what is normal, what is hormones, what is sleep deprivation and what is possible PND coming back. DH is being amazing though and we are just taking things one day at a time.

I miss sleep. DH has nicknamed F the possum cos he is wide awake all night ? and he?s a bit hairy. I am sleeping from about 11pm ? 12.30am and 6am ? 8am which seems to be when F sleeps and DH can take over. Amber ? Am very jealous of your maternity nurse, but would be doing exactly the same if a. we could afford it and b. if they had them here.

Rant 1: My sister has posted on FB that she is an Auntie and got lots of congratulations, etc. Fair enough, but she hasn?t actually congratulated me or DH yet! The only msg I got from here was her flight itinary (sp) ? (she?s coming over in March).

Rant 2: My NZ SIL didn?t contact/visit us in hosp cos she had no credit. Okaaay, that?s fine cos she sent love and wishes via PILs. But 5 hours after we got home from the hosp both PILs contacted DH separately to have a go cos she was in tears that we hadn?t invited her round yet!

Arrggghhh ? funnily enough after mentioning PND, ATM I am actually feeling more like my old self than ever, I can?t be bothered with this BS. DH and I feel like such a in tune unit at the moment and even if we still haven?t quite decided what to do next, we are completely decided on what we don?t want (to stay here in rural NZ). Will wait a few months though!

Catch up post:

Dewin ? Sorry I missed your birthday, and so sorry about your friend Hilary. There are no words, so am sending love. Is the other friend your infamous ?Frenemy??

Rolf ? So glad T?s thumb is better.

KeepCalm ? Sorry work is tough. Saw on FB that M?s sleeping is bad too. What a week or two you?ve had. Is the flu all gone now? I love B&S, took a while to get into though.

Neenz ? wasn?t it Rob Lowe?s character that died? Will need to google now?.

H&S ? There is never any decent tv here! I really recommend Blinkx.com, really enjoyed new season of Cougar Town .

Neenz ? LOL at E. Loving your FB campaigning ATM btw.

Back to self centredness , sorry! But can any co-sleepers tell me what you actually did? I keep reading all the what not to do stuff, but not what actually works. I was thinking a barrier of towels of some sort? What did you use for yourself instead of pillows/duvets? Where actually did LO sleep, between you and DH/P or off to your side? Is a bed rail essential?

OK, I think that the caffeine is finally wearing off and that I have written more than enough!

Opps - meant to say to Deb that I will spend the nightime feeding looking at your houses. Something to actually look forward to.

cosleepinglink

That may help Maya. however I always end up with W's head on top of my arm. It is also meant to be possible to feed off either breast whilst staying on the same side, but that seems to be physically impossible for me . W has to alternate between middle of bed and side of bed. If he is on the side, and DH awake, I tell him to prop me up and he obligingly wriggles over and I lean along his back so I'm not balancing. Bedding is a bit different here cos it's winter. However, W is in a sleeping bag on top of 2 summer weight duvets. The advantage of the 2 duvets is that I can pull one of them up to cover my top shoulder without W getting too hot or DH getting cold. Maybe in an NZ summer two sheets or blankets might work? After my cs with P I could not physically roll onto my side for weeks and weeks. However I think this was specific to me as the mw's kept telling ms that feeding lying down is great post cs. Anyway, your posts sound as though you and your DH are complete stars, and doing really well. I recognise that feeling of one-ness with my DH when having my babies: it's lovely and so intense. Try not to worry about PND at this stage, definitely completely normal to feel all over the place.

Morning all. Eeny meeny maya - S used to come into our bed a lot (and still does sometimes - last night included!!). We always had him in the middle of the bed between DH and I and he laid on top of our duvet in his sleeping bag while we were both under it, clinging onto the edge of the bed so S had plenty of room! Our bed is kingsize, so it did mean we could leave S a decent space in the middle. So no bed guards etc. I'm sure I read somewhere that the middle of the bed isn't recommended though. I wasn't feeding either so never had to take that into consideration.

When DH was away I used to put a little stack of pillows up one side of the bed and after S fell out of bed put some pillows on the floor.

Maya, Ethan also used to sleep with us as a small baby. I had a cot up against the bedside so that he couldn't fall out, then a nursing pillow cradled against the back of him, then I had my arm round him. Took some practice but I managed to feed him in the night without swapping round to the middle of the bed and it worked really well for us. In fact I do miss that cosy nest I used to make for us both. Sounds like you're doing really well, remember we're all here if you need a moan.Take care x

maya so lovely to hear from you and I am glad that so far so good as I was thinking of you given your previous experience of pnd . am [jealous] re flat white as got a real taste for them when away (and you are not wrong about the price of books in southern hemisphere).

Didnt co sleep but friends that did used deb's method of cot on side of bed and I think co sleeping did work best for most people in terms of feeding (come to think of it I suppose I did co sleep but not in conventional sense as we always had the single bed that dd in now in her room so I used to curl up in there with her in crook of my arm but like keepcalm I didnt bf). Thanks for tips on tv downloads - also does ryder like wotwots (I think its nz ) -e got seriously into that and a load of other abc (aussie equivalent to cbeebies) stuff. Oh and your sis in law sounds a loon and I'm not (that) hormonal. and pmsl at the possum. re feeding (fingers crossed) sounds good as e was a nightmare too and never even got this far bf (she was mixed fed before we left hospital).

h&s gutted that not here but in twickenham so maybe next time?hope assignment going well.

ah hope that you are getting rested (good for you for sticking up for yourself on that other thread re flu - thought there were some seriously unreasonable people on there).

deb -waves - love that first house too.

essie - happy belated birthday and hope you had a nice weekend esp after the funeral experience.

Right white wine is out and itv is on... says all you need to know about my saturday night experience...

Hello all! I just saw your thread in active threads and had a quick look to see who's still here. Mostly trying to figure out who everyone is! Congrats to amber and maya, and debs you finally moved back, yeah for you! hardandsleazy - were you poppy??

Thank you for the co-sleeping advise. Esp the BF link Spider, I can BF lying down but have always previously stayed propped up on one arm. I don't think this really counts, but have moved F's moses basket so it is right next to the bed.

F fell asleep on his cold plastic changing mat last night and then woke up when i moved him to the warm cosy moses basket! It's just the basket he hates I think....

Hello Allnew! I was penguin (pregnant, nz or otherwise ). How are you getting on?

Deb - House number one! Nursing pillow a good idea, thank you.

H&S - Ry loves the wotwots, but they haven't got it on ATM and there's very little on utube etc cos it's not UK or American. He mixes up saying wotwots with drawing cos they always draw animals. Actually TVNZ are being very good to me in the mornings with chuggington and then roary. Gives me nearly 30ms peace or so. Sounds like a good sat night!

Actually speaking of kids telly, R has discovered Barney which I initially hated but actually makes him really cuddly and loving when they do the 'I love you' song. I have even stopped tantrums by singing the song to him....I understand why it was used by the US as a method of torture though.

CS wound not healing well, in fact I am glued to the sofa today as can hardly move. MW explained what it was (hematomin = large internal bruise that goes hard and is made of calcium and something else like a pile on the stitch?), but couldn't give me anything and just said if it hasn't resolved itself in 6 weeks then the hosp will need to look at it. Not really what I wanted to hear. So R&R today.

How are you getting on Amber? Is the nurse helpful? How is Mark coping with being outnumbered by females? (Deb - make me feel better, boys aren't that smelly really are they?)

H&S - wotwots on Five weekday mornings at about 8.30. Not sure about weekends.

maya hematoma? I'm not sure of the spelling but fraser had one after his hernia surgery. It took about three weeks to go away but it wasn't causing him any discomfort fortunately - apparently they are normal though but that's really crap for you :( We co-slept with Fraser with him in the middle with his head up between the pillows (we moved them to make space for him) so that we wouldn't pull the duvet over him. We are both light sleepers so we didn't worry too much.

h&s thanks for reassuring me re the flu jab thread - I was feeling a bit attacked but I'm still glad I paid to get all of us immunized. There's not a shortage here in Scotland so it's a moot point (ie anyone at risk can get it) but it was the principle of the thing.

deb i love love love the first house!!! How much parking is there around? If it's not going to be an issue getting a space then it wouldn't bother us too much. our last house was like that but not in a busy area and we always ended up right in front of our place. The link to the second place didn't come through but the third place would scare us off as needing too much work if there's damp as well as cosmetic work needed. Our place was fine, just very dated, and it's still taking years to do up (partially financial!). We are a bit lazy though. the 4th place is of course gorgeous :)

H&S - will definitely let you know next time we're visiting our friends in Surbiton - hadn't realised how close you were! Think we may try out Bushy Park this weekend if it stays dry so thanks for the tip.

Just been looking at your houses Deb - I love the first one and the last one. The other one that needed all the work would put me off too - but it depends on how handy you and your DH are.

While I'm on, would appreciate any advice... S is really spotty all round his mouth. For weeks and weeks he's been quite dry, a bit spotty, red marks etc all round his mouth. He was licking it a lot so I thought it wasn't getting the chance to dry out. He does still have a dummy at night time so went and got him new ones (tbh, the dummy falls out so he doesn't actually have it in for long) and have tried slathering on Aveena cream day and night. It's not dry or patchy anymore, but he does have loads of spots all round his mouth. Any suggestions or experience of this?

Maya - really good to read your posts - you sound like you're doing a great job. A bit re your sister though. How rude!

Amber, I hope you're doing ok and that your managing to get some sleep.

Allnew - I was Bitofadramaqueen (but have had a few name changes since then!).

Quick post as I am half way through catching up on the thread... sorry Amber I was at my sisters on Friday and out yesterday, only just logged on here. Give us a call or message me on FB if you need me x

Dewin, your frenemy sounds really annoying! As if she has not given you a chance to tell her you're pg yet! Messsage me on fb about meeting up?

Maya, hope you are feeling ok re cs wound and your hormones. It is totally normal to feel up and down and think 'what have I done? Having this baby was the biggest mistake ever!' Or is that just me . Daniel would never go in his moses basket either. We co-slept, put the basket right up to the bed so he couldn't roll out. He slept toward the edge so there was him, then me then dh. I would put him in a blanket or sleeping bag, tuck the duvet under me round me waist, wear a warm hoodie so I didn't get cold, get rid of the pillows, and lie on my side with my arm around the top of LO's head and my top leg crossed over my bottom leg and on the bed in an L shape iyswim so I wouldn't roll onto him. I think as long as the duvet and pillows are away from the baby you can't go far wrong.

After writing that I was 'agonising' over giving Daniel food I thought 'how ridiculous, it is only food not poison', so I started him with some apple and baby rice on Thurs. He slept through 11-6 on Fri and 10.30-7 last night! He wasn't going more than 3hrs between feeds before! I am actually quite amazed and feel like a different person. I was actually really struggling with the sleep deprivation as I was getting up 3 times a night.

Amber, well done continuing with the BFing through all the adversity! Even if you don't continue for long you can know they had lots of your milk and that can only be a good thing. Mat nurse is good idea, and great that she is a BFing supporter too. Could she bring the babies to you in the night and latch them on while you sleep?

Abdn - no 1 house is in a row of about 6 houses, and they all park on the road, but it is a country road and either side there are no more houses so it's not a huge issue.

Will try to link to the 2nd one again
2nd house againcould do b+b there or make a holiday cottage very easily to rent out.

we're also seeing this one, it's expensive but you get 2 acres, looks quirky, can't work out the plan at all.

Maya - did you ask about smelly boys? Well we haven't got that yet but Stefan's only 10, but I don't think it will be too long as he has already started with a few spots. I don't think boys are that smelly are they

Deb I loved that first house too.
The one with loads of work to do would put me off but that could be just us.
I reckon when you see Grey Gables you'll either fall in love with it or know it's not for you.
The second one could just not be well presented on the website or is a bit meh - hard to tell.

Smelly boys - my boys are just getting a bit armpitty but I'm sure it will get much worse. They can be a bit like chimps - when I first got them some deodorant (it happened at the same time, oddly) they found it hilarious and kept sniffing each other's armpits. They like farting, too. I find it all very sweet and endearing, actually, but I'm quite robust about flinging them in the shower when they need it.

Dewin your frenemy is a nightmare! some people are more trouble than they're worth ...

Maya we had a cot up against the bed, but I do remember the recommended co-feeding positions never quite worked for me so I had to do something different with my arm - I think there are so many configurations of boob height / size / floppiness that you just have to experiment. We were also crap about avoiding the duvet going over the baby ( again). She normally slept between me and the cot but did end up between us sometimes. Did less co-sleeping with ds because dp was more paranoid about it (PFB) and used to prod me until I moved him back into the cot!

Co-slept with both children last night 'cos ds was a bit poorly and C was jealous! topped and tailed them and I had to keep switching orientation depending on which one was awake. Plus cat, who found L's high temperature nice and warm and comfortable!! Good job we have a spare bed now for dp's sanity, he doesn't cope well with disturbed sleep ...

Amber there was a nice sensible article in the Guardian on breastfeeding on Saturday - here - basically saying enough of the guilt, yes of course breastfeeding is important but it's not the only thing that matters, the most important thing is welfare of mother and child taking everything into account. I'm very pro-BF but also feel very strongly that there is way too much guilt heaped onto mothers in all sorts of respects. You are doing a grand job. Great that you've got the mat nanny coming!

Maya I still co-sleep with DS. Was never any good at keeping the duvet of him. I used to curve my arm around and he would sleep on it. SOunds like being a mother of two suits you very well!

Having a real nightmare decortaing my bedroom. I lifted up the carpet and found a couple of floor boards needed replacing. Took about two hours to get them up. Went to homebase 10 mins before closing and convinced the manager to cut some wood for me even though the department was shut. Brought it home and it's a few mm to wide. (D)H doesn't usually get home until 8.15, Homebase shuts at 8, and refused to try to leave work early to get the wood re-cut . Thankfully one of the school mums has offered to take me, she will come over at about 12.30, takes 7 mins or so to drive there and the person who cuts wood is having his lunch break at 1. Hope we get there on time!

Deb you are looking at some stunning houses!! That last one you linked to is gorgeous, but I would guess from the lack of internal photos on the web page it needs a fortune spending on it....

Grey Gables - what can I say? Fantastic grounds but the house needed gutting and starting again so it's no good for us. It's been for sale for over 2 years, the vendor even said that everything would be left in the house as he's got somewhere smaller, I really don't think he should tell prospective buyers that, it puts you off straight away. It was comical really. No 2 house today was a man getting divorced with a sob story and 3 dogs. It was OK and cheap, but didn't get the wow in any rooms. no 3 was a lovely house, but way too expensive.

Going to see some others on Wednesday when Ethan's at playgroup as he's getting a bit too familiar in other people's houses and opening cupboards etc...

Going - hope you get your floorboards sorted.

Am feeling a bit sorry for myself today . Had a nightmare morning with DS. He wouldn't get into the car to go to nursery and had a major tantrum. Finally get going (with me and DH bickering quite a lot about how each other dealt with it and the fact that we were about half an hour late already), then when DH got out of the car S proceeded to have a class A meltdown, managing to free himself from his car seat in the middle of rush hour, city centre, busy traffic, nowhere to pull over...

Finally get to pull over and take about 10 minutes to try and calm him down and back into his car seat. He's screaming like I'm trying to murder him while squillions of commuters walk past giving me funny looks.

Finally get to nursery - S refuses to get out the car. Another major tantrum which ends up with me, laden with bags, carrying him into nursery like a sack of potatoes Tantrum continues in nursery and eventually I just burst into tears . Leave S in nursery in floods of tears while 20-odd year old male nursery nurse comes out to make sure I am ok. So there I am, not far off 40, sobbing my eyes out while some wee boy looks after me

Calmed down, went to work... burst into tears again.

Work's rubbish. S's behaviour isn't much better. Me and DH keep bickering. Oh, and I've got PMT so it seems a million times worse than it is

Sorry, very self-indulgent but been wanting to get that off my chest all day!

Awe KeepCalm that sounds rotten. P has had some really nas tantrums about the carseat too recently. You aren't alone.

KeepCalm that's the one that often drives me to tears as well.
Iestyn had a carseat tantrum today - he was refusing to leave nursery. (And, yes, )