FEB 2010 First birthdays beckon and toddlerdom approacheth...uh-oh!

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

It's humbling to look back at the last year and see how our LO's have gone from helpless newborns to action-packed pre-toddlers.

BRING IT ON!!!

Back again..
ok I can do one thing!!! Small talk..I can talk utter shite to anyone. Over compensate. Used to be a sales manager years ago. Due to this everyone thinks I am really confident!! (which is why me having no confidence is a secret that I have kept buried until DD came along)
PA and BC I did smile at your posts about other mums. I think afterwards oh fuck, did I witter on too much? Talk about myself? What did ask them? Make a mental note to next time not grill them about how do they get their child to sleep/eat and moan about what a battle DD can be.

Then I do it again the next time.

Never an uncomfortable silence with me about

Ask about their child's sleeping habits..ice breaker sorted!

After reading the last few days posts I feel like I know you all a whole lot better. I started telling the story of how dp and I got together. It had been on my mind actually as it involves Disney in California where PA has just been. Anyway ds woke up and by the time I came to finish my post, weddings and marital relations had taken over. I agree, bc I was shamed/inspired a bit by those who said it was important to maintain relations. It is just so hard to feel sexy when you feel like a blob. Must try harder.

I am also in the vicinity of south London as CS says . I am in E Surrey near Gatwick. And don't worry, if we do get together, I am expert at making small talk! I work with a different team most days at work. I am the team leader and have 15 minutes to get everyone whipped into shape bonded before we start work. It is common to be discussing sex lives/relationship woes before the meeting has ended. Actually perhaps that says a lot about me... What I am rubbish at, however, is being the centre of attention in a big group. I run a mile from that. It's one of the reasons we are not married.

Well our sleep training was an unmitigated disaster. I was doing pick up/put down but after 2 hours of ds popping up like a jack in a box at 2 in the morning you do have to wonder what the point of it is. I gave up after 4 days then the next day 2 molars appeared. Bad mummy emoticon. Poor little thing was probably in agony and wanted some comfort. Will try again when this bout of teething is done.

Sorry mamaloco about your incredibly rude neighbour. And LBH about your dh. If it's any consolation mine called me lazy and useless yesterday. He did apologise today but I won't forget what he said and how it hurt. Parenting is so very stressful and there is so much to learn. I don't think much of it comes down to instinct. I honestly believe that it does get a bit more enjoyable from about this age though, (Note I didn't say easier!) when their little personalities come through more and you fall deeper and deeper in love with them. My dd is nearly 5 and has started school this year. She is learning to read and write and I am so proud that she is in the first group to go up to the next reading level. My memories of her not sleeping or eating much have all faded. (Though I won't ever forget the horror of her labour!) What I am trying to say is that this really is just a phase and it will pass and there is lots and lots of fun and new experiences to be had very soon with your dd.

Stangirl forgot to congratulate you on your pregnancy. Fantastic news. I was talking to a school mum today who had just 11 months between her first 2 dc . Good luck at work.

Time for bed now. Ds is awake. Again.

Gosh you lot have been sooo busy! I've been reading, giggling and then running out of time to post!!

ML Don't give your neighbour's opinions anymore thought - talking rubbish and you're a great mum.

LBH Hope the day has gone well. I am a teacher and have been back for a a whole three days now. I'm actually enjoying it as I don't find I can think about the DS (as in sons, not a hand held computer system) while teaching/firefighting etc.. Plus, I get to drive between schools which means I a) listen to the news not nursery rhymes; b) hear up to date music again so I can try and keep up with you lot and c) might possibly have half a chance of staying sane (and going to the loo on my own, eating my lunch without disturbance and reading the occasional email!) Plus, after the £1000 a month childcare bill , I will nearly pay for the Sainsburys bill for the month on top. Madness, but am playing the long game (assuming that the possible redundancy doesn't curtail it!)

You've had a hard year (as have I, the hardest ever I think and not one I will look back very fondly on, on the whole, despite the obvious joy of having DS2 and the brilliant moments that the two of them have brought) I don't think that makes it a waste for either of us. Personally, I'm very sad that I can't just look back on it with joy, but am cmonig to terms with that.

By the way, DS2 took his first steps today - only two, but completely unaided from a standning-on-his-own start and very deliberately. Luckily DH and I were both there to see it (assuming that the child minder didn't just keep quiet when I picked DS2 up earlier!!) DS2 did his first full day with them today, and without DS1 (who was at the nursery), and he didn't cry at all. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not?! I hated leaving DS1 crying when he started as a baby, but just a little tear would have made me feel loved... He did at least manage a quivery lip when I arrived to pick him up! Obviously, we are thrilled really(and not counting any chickens).

As usual, another massive post now I've finally got on here. Glad to hear that the sleep is finally starting to pick up for some of you (and the relations with DH/DP too - we probably manage about once a fortnight here and a quick fumble in between-DH suddenly finds me sexy and I really don't feel it yet)

Oh yes, and must just say that at my brother's wedding, a pair of his friends got jiggy on the dancefloor and DH and I actually got an eyeful of the lad's manhood. Came as a bit of a surprise, I can tell you!! The bride's octogenarian grandfather also fell backwards off his chair during the speeches after a few too many. And then a dog joined the happy couple on the dancefloor for their first dance which was quite random.

DH also fondly remembers his time as a best man, more because we did fairly rude things in the car park, than because of his amazing speech!! He did, however, fall asleep in the hotel room on another occasion, leaving me tapping on the window trying to get back in after an evening of dancing and wondering where he had got to!!

Night all, and may it be a good one.

For whatever reason...

beth I am beyond help... I frequently listen to nursery rhymes/jolly phonics for an entire journey before realising I don't have a child in the car . I also point out interesting things before realising I am on my own...

Good evening all. Happy MN anniversary IC! Glad you found us.

LBH I@m a bit behind but I just wanted to add to the chorus of comments about your DP (I'm sorry if you're sick of hearing it). He really needs to pull his socks up and start supporting you instead of running you down. Please talk to him about it if you haven't already. I'm sorry but it makes me really to read what he has said to you. You are doing a fantastic job.

Now good luck for tomorrow. You will be fiiiiiiiiiine. Big, big hugs.

(Oh yes and at your DD using her shape sorter! DD is still banging the shapes together.)

Stangirl your post about the bell and bit of material made me laugh! I'm so like that, my friends have houses full of toys for their LOs and for a start, we just don't have the room (we live in a postage stamp), and also I just don't think babies need THAT many toys. DD's current favourite is an empty glace cherry carton with a couple of corks in it as a rattle .

I was a Sarf Londoner too... I lived in Wallington for 9 years before moving to Hastings to live with DH. I go back to Cheam
quite often to see my mum. If you arrange a S London meet-up I'd be interested!

mama, I can't put it any better than PA - your neighbour is an arse. It must be very touugh being almost completely alone with your girls. I find it tough when I have one day like today, when I don't see anyone specifically. I've pretty much befriended the butcher and the fishmonger so that I at least have a few minutes' chat when I go shopping. And I'm working on the greengrocer (hard nut to crack). Cry away Big hugs to you too.

BC good for you!!! I'm the same as IC, in my last relationship (9 years) the passion died after about 4 years and we spent the next 5 always saying "Oh we must have sex" but never doing it, and I didn't want to anyway. Now, if DH makes overtures, 9 out of 10 times I will go for it, in the hope of keeping the passion alive in this relationship (with ex-P I regularly said too tired. And I didn't know what tiredness was then ).

Aargh I didn't realise there was a page 6. you are a prolific bunch. chinook at your DH too.

bethy at DS2 walking!!!!!

IC DD 26 Jan
ML DD 28 Jan
SG DD 2 Feb
BG DD2 3 Feb
SB DS 4 Feb
CS DD2 9 Feb
LBH DD 12 Feb
BC DS 15 Feb
Scones DD 22 Feb
PA DD 5 March
Abs DD 7 March

Anyone missing?

I thought about the whole teaching them thing, explaining what everything else. In the end I just figured that the kids who start school knowing everything soon get to their natural place when the other kids catch up. I think there's too much formal learning too early generally in this country.

Don't get me wrong, I hope to teach by osmosis, but not as active as some. If that's called lazy parenting, then I'll jump on board. I also think (when they're older) it's our job to focus on the things school don't teach. I hope we get to be active outdoors family.

My instinct is to teach though , but keeping a mind on unconditional parenting will hopefully let me keep the right balance, relax and enjoy play.

I'm not even sure my post made any sense!

and Bethylou I'm really glad to hear your sounding more cheerful and having fun

I agree - I think your toys were much more age-appropriate, SG.

Right now I am simply focused on DS feeling secure and having as much fun as possible. Formal learning will not be a priority for a long, long time. I'm a bit at ABC cards for one so young.

Actually how old are they when they start reception? And is it compulsory? I think we start schooling too young. I'm sure there was a thread on MN started by a mum who's 3-y-o had to go to school 5 days a week.

PA The swings thing really tickled me but I felt all embarrassed for you. A bit like when I watch an episode of The Office, you know - laughing and cringing at the same time. I love that show but I really don't like Ricky Gervais or anything else he's done.

I think I have a horror of turning into my mum who will ask anybody anything, often quite personal and inappropriate questions (or indeed revalations about herself) so I'm always asking with my internal voice "is this a normal thing to say?" - but only with new people, not once I'm comfortable with someone.

Well last night was odd. He's been so good at going down (and then waking at 5) that I wasn't used to it at all. He fell asleep in the pram downstairs after his massive paddy. Then woke up screaming at 1. In the end I took him into bed with us and fed him as he was beside himself (we tried teething gel but that didn't work) then DH put him back around 2 and he slept until 6.45. I hope this was an aberration.

Good luck today LBH - sorry I thought it was yesterday.

Morning all! Am off to meet an old work colleague who had a baby about 6 weeks ago and has only just started to emerge. On Thursday I will be seeing a very good friend and her 4 day old. Am v v excited by both of these. It's odd because before I had DD I couldn't be bothered with babies/kids at all - funny how it changes you. I actually positively like kids now.

(we moved him out of the pram around 9 and put him in his cot).

What Bc said, LBH (having just read How To Talk So Kids Will Listen) - give yourself some positivity!
Good luck today.

Wow, bethy, your DS2 is on the move on two legs! Well done him!
DD is getting better and better and pulling/pushing herself up and definitely has the strength, but her balance is all over the shop still. I think it'll be a wee while before she's walking....
Heh, like the wedding stories too.... I've obviously been going to the wrong weddings all these years.

Good to hear from you chinook! Sorry sleep-training didn't work out. I wish I could lend you a handy sleep wand to wave over him, but unfortunately I must have mislaid mine somewhere...
If I find it, I suggest you also bash your DH over the head with it if he makes anymore unhelpful remarks

Hey, Scones! No shape sorting here, either. Your DD will zoom along soon enough, she's clearly a laid-back babe and likes to take it all in before dazzling you with her new-found prowess

I reckon we'd all be fine on a meet-up - after all, we've done a lot of the chatting already, so it's not like we'd be starting from scratch! I usually have a bash at small-talk with Spanish mums, but the language barrier can get in the way, so I don't do much more than a brief bit of mutual baby admiration before moving on. Luckily, I do have a good pal (another Sarf Londoner) who I can talk baby with at will.

The teaching thing...yes... It's tempting to show DD how to do things, but I guess it's better to encourage her to explore things and copy our actions than "teach" as such. I know what you mean though, PA - it's something I'll have to stop myself from doing, making life a formal classroom too often.

BG at your in-car tales!!

X-posted Bc and Stan...

Yep, agree with you re The Office and Ricky Gervais, Bc...

Likewise Stan, I'm the same - a complete volte-face from my previous baby/children indifference....! Totally obsessed now.

I think I am too lazy to do any teaching... but dd1 keeps doing it to dd2 . Found her the other day making dd2 point to her (ie. dd1's) nose, mouth, eyes, ears and saying the words. dd2 thought it was hilarious . I think my second will pick up a lot of things from her sister.
By the way, agree with kids starting formal school too young over here. A few of my friends have had their dc in full time school since they turned 3 (something to do with sure start areas or something). dd1 will start this autumn when she's barely 4... . My Finnish friend was a bit - hers started pre-school at 6 and formal school at 7.

BC and IC I couldn't let your Ricky Gervais comments pass without grasping my opportunity to show off. I used to work with him. For about 6/7 years - before he was famous. Even after he was famous if we bumped into one another he's always come over and had a chat. He once saw me in cafe window in Camden eating brekkie with my Mum and he came in to say "hello". My Mum was v v impressed. I know how he comes across and can appreciate why many people detest him but in real life he is absolutely lovely and a better boss no one could wish for. He is supportive and loyal. He is also absolutely besotted with his very long term partner Jane (she's fab too) - which always goes a long way in my book.

Actually he was a guest at one of the weddings i described - he didn't do any dodgy substances but he did help dress up in the Masonic robes.

... oh, and some people have said Dawn the receptionist was in part based on me. I don't think so - though it is obvious who some of the other characters were based on if you worked in the same place.

My apologies to Ricky, then! I guess he comes across a bit unfortunately in interviews etc. Thanks for putting me right on his off-screen character, Stan!

Like BG on the teaching front, plus DD2 doesn't seem that interested. I had to with DD1 as she was pointing and then asking questions really early.

With BC on the not knowing what to say, same kind of mum too . PA I would probably have been that lady at the swing too.

Thanks for your support yesterday! come to think about it 5h30/6h is probably the night for most people. I can't make her change her waking time though. DD2 is NOT very patient for her bottle at that stage, and I do it the old fashion way (still what is on the pack here)! I can't imagine the complaints if I made it with the current UK regulations .

I found a diamond in DD2's poo (nappy free time which turn out badly ).
one of her sisters fake ones, I wish she could poo diamonds though it would help!
So her diet is even richer than I thought, she is so quick, thinking again about the dog muzzle.

Anyone changed car seat yet? or all still in 0+.

I've got this one www.carseat.se/store.html - it should last until he is 4.

That link didn't work - the Britax Hi Way is what we have.

I'm not quite sure what ours is - it was a gift from my mum (who had it stashed in her loft), but is the next size up from the Bebe Confort Mila transport system jobby (you can see DD in her new seat in the blog about the journey to France).

But we have no instructions and can't work out how on earth you move the straps to the larger settings, so unless we can suss it out, we may end up purchasing one...