FEB 2010 First birthdays beckon and toddlerdom approacheth...uh-oh!

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

It's humbling to look back at the last year and see how our LO's have gone from helpless newborns to action-packed pre-toddlers.

BRING IT ON!!!

Golly this thread moves fast! So many congratulations to all of you pg again. Hope you are not suffering too much?

We are all well, dd is a poppet, I love listening to her babble away in her own language. She has had tons of colds this winter though, with a horrible bronchitis over Christmas. My doc is very reassuring though, blaming it all on teething. DD has 12 teeth with her canines coming through at the moment.

No walking yet but she has been standing and cruising for four months.

I turned 30 last week. (ugh!) dh organized a surprise party for me, renting a house with 20 friends on the Normandy coast (it was amazingly cheap out of season, if anyone wants the address pm me) so we had a fairly big party and walks on the beach. Took me a week to recover! It was amazing though and dh was a superstar.

Haha at 'ugh' for 30. Most of us are fast approaching the next big one...

PA Hope that DD didn't go on to have a tummy bug and the sickness was a one off.

Bethy The society of authors website could be helpful - www.societyofauthors.org/

Happy birthday Scones' DD!

IC Good news on DD's sleep, sorry yours wasn't as good.

We didn't have a great night. He spent a chunk in the middle in with me and wriggling all over the place.

I walked for 12km yesterday, pushing the buggy as well.

Gosh you've all been busy! Hello flyingcloud!

At work (bleurgh - not the work, but I'm not enjoying commuting) so can't be long. PA I had a third degree tear with DD1 and had VB with DD2. I ws induced both times and was very scared, but had loads of tests and was told that my risk of tering again was as if it had never happened as I repaired very well (despite having surgery again when DD1 was one year old). Both were ventouse deliveries, but for different reasons - with DD1 I got stuck at 10cm with an epidural and she just wouldn't come out on her own, and DD2 the SPD meant I couldn't get my knees apart to deliver normally. So maybe you could have a VB.

IC well done on the sleeping! DD2 is sleeping through again here as well.

Schro boo on the snow!

Lots of maternal guilt here, and I agree with everything that has been said about second born children. Definitely easier the second time round, but more difficult too (mainly because there isn't any respite).

Better go. Hugs to all x

Happy Birthday Scones LO

Supposed to be working but very, very cross about the cancelled hospital appointment (as on a chat thread-I needed a full on rant!) so having a bit of calm down time.

Hi FC - nice to see you.

Thanks for writing ideas IC and BC.
Pics are mine on FB - might just get carried away now that I am able to post photos on there!! Photography is my creative passion really, though I'm only an amateur.

And... fanfare please... not to be outdone by IC's DD, DS2 slept through the night last night for the first time from 7.20pm till 6:50a.m. Admittedly, he had a puff of DS1's ventolin as was wheezy before bed (have consulted GP today who pretty much said to carry on..) and DS1 woke twice anyway, but it's all progress! Well done to IC*'s DD!

Ooo.. not sure how I went into bold. Sorry if it looks like I'm a bit shouty!!

Wow, great news, bethy (the sleep-through, not the cancelled appointment... ) - worth shouting out, I reckon!

Blimey, Bc, that's a lot of kilometres!!! Sorry to hear your night wasn't so great.

Likewise, at "30 - ugh!"
Actually, flyingcloud, I LOVED my 30s - a really great decade. You'll see. Happy Birthday for last week.

Shro brrrrrr!!!!

CS, glad work went well, even if the commute is a drag...

DD didn't want to know when I offered her cow's milk this afternoon. She had a few tastes (once I'd put it in her more familiar cup), but didn't particularly want more. Ah well. I'll keep offering it.

well DD was sick again this morning and is definitely 'off'. She's just been sitting there. The only time she walked was to walk into the kitchen to be sick :(

BC You must be a god for surviving that week where you both were so ill

Well done for the sleeping babies

Penguin was it you who moved to the US? I am a bit confused with the name changes.

Yes it was FC. The name changes confused me, was about to have a go at people but then I changed myself

I'm 'working from home' this morning. Told my boss I need to be here to feed her.

Oh, PA I am so sorry she is properly sick. It's horrible - I really feel for you all. My best advice is don't worry about her not eating solids if she doesn't want to. When she's better she will start again. Don't force it because it will only result in more vomit. She may noticably lose weight and this is unpleasant to see and you want to feed her up but it is better to wait. She'll be getting fluid and calories from your milk (and offer water regularly as well). The two time A had it he didn't eat for a long time, not until a couple of days after he started to recover. The first time about 12 days and the second time 9 or 10. If she wants a little stick to the BRAT diet - bananas, rice, apple, toast (and crackers).

Bethylou Good to "see" you and well done on DS2 sleeping through. Very annoying and dissapointing about your cancelled appointment.

We took DS up to the south bank for the thing I mentioned at the children's festival (I'll put a pic or two up on fb). It was fun. Very mumsnet type crowd. This afternoon we went to baby clinic for the one year jabs - three of the buggers inc. mmr. He was weighed and is still exactly on the 25th as he was at his 8 month check. He did scream with the injections poor love but we gave him calpol first and chocolate buttons straight afterwards and he's been fine this afternoon and went to sleep nicely. According to the leafle though if there is a reaction one or more of the components of the mmr they won't show up until between 6 days and 6 weeks after the jab (and he could react to all three bits at different times - great). Not all babies get reactions of course. Next one in three months time.

He used his push-along walker quite some distance this afternoon for the first time, before it has just been one or two very wobbly steps.

DH has booked us a gypsy caravan for Camp Bestival. Very chuffed.

Well done IC and bethy LO on the sleeping.

FC I was GuernseyFrench.

12km!! I'm well impressed, I normally do a 2 miles walk at the weekend through town plus a bit during the week from carpark/nursery/work.

IC keep offering or see if your DH has more success? She may not take it from you as she knows you as the milk provider IYSWIM.

We had one set of jab at 12 months and at 13 months we're having MMR and pneumococcal jabs.

schro have another to keep you warm or [wine to cheer you up

Sorry to hear that some of your LO are unwell again.

scones DD - happy birthday!

hi flyingcloud - I've joined this thread quite recently. Like IC I loved my 30s - mind you I was child free then and out clubbing every weekend. I'm 42 now and had DD last year at 41 - another on the way for July. I would have been a useless Mum in my 20s or 30s - I was far too hedonistic - and am full of admiration for all women who do it earlier than I did.

Wishing a speedy recovery for all the poorly LOs.

My big news - DD took her first steps this morning, and again this afternoon. This was brilliant but unfortunately I followed this up by stepping on her fingers accidentally and causing her to cry for half an hour. That Mother of the Year Award just beyond my grasp yet again.......

Oh Stangirl I bump DD all the time, especially on head

Well done on her steps, I'm even more impressed she took her first steps twice

Sorry scones that I missed it was your DD's B'day. Hope your having a great day.

chestnut Good to know you had a VB. The tearing itself I'm not worried about. Really didn't find it a problem, but enjoyed having the sympathetic looks for nothing , although my later injury was not so much fun. Anyway I'll see what they say and do some more reading yet.

Ok, ok, getting there!

Sorry to hear babes are sick too, it is so miserable. On the subject does anyone give a tonic or vitamin supplement? I imagine those of you bf don't, but (guilt about stopping bf still haunts me) anyone else?

How have those who have gone back to work found it? As some of you may remember I went back full time when dd was 8 wks old. I have found it incredibly hard in so many ways, but the worst is the open, blatant anti-working mother sentiment I face. It is so frustrating. Working full time and being an equal sharing parent is the hardest job out there (being a full time parent is sometimes even harder) and my 50 ish male bosses (and similar aged single female bosses) who have never changed a nappy seem to no longer take me seriously.

And breathe.

Sorry rant over, as you were.

Hi Stangirl.

Aw, PA, that's too bad. I hope it passes very quickly.

At least the jabs are out of the way now, Bc, although as you say, it is a bit of a tentative time-bomb waiting to see if he'll react.
I've got to wait until DD is 15 months before she gets the next lot. And four in one go .

Thanks for the advice, SB! Unfortunately, DH is usually at work when I'm offering the milk, but I'll certainly recruit him when he's around.

First of all wa-hey, Stangirl on the first steps!
Aw, you must feel a bit crappy about standing on her (so easily done, though!)
There are loads of threads on MN detailing how people have accidentally injured their babies in all sorts of hair-raising ways, yet the LOs were okay. If you're feeling especially bad about treading on your DD, do a search...

Well, DD is now in bed. She grumbled a wee bit after I put her down, but only in a half-hearted way and got herself off to sleep after about 15mins. Fingers crossed for tonight. For her and me

Incidentally, this thread is rapidly filling up. I was hoping not to have to get another one going before all the birthdays had happened, but we're just not going to make it - we're all too verbose
I'll start another soon.

LBH - haven't heard from you in a while - are you okay?

with you there FC. I went back at 4 months, so not as bad. In France and returning at 8 weeks, BF was always going to be a massive mountain. I don't think I could have done it. Work were OK with me pumping, but all the people the same level as me are male, with children and SAHMs as wife's. I do get a full comments, but mostly under the radar. However it is very clear that I am being judged and they all feel sorry for DH who is a SAHD. They assume he did nothing beforehand so are always surprised to find out he was a manager who used to employ people.

I've had people comment on my hours and that I should be spending more time with DD and am finding my responsibilities slowly being pawned out. To the point where I'm not even told of other people doing my research. It's never discussed, I just suddenly find I'm not the one doing things anymore.

Some of it has been because I need to wait until somebody is around so don't do it. Then they decide to do it on the one day that week I'm not free. Then my boss see's I'm not doing my share, even when I've asked the person and verified it in an email that we're doing on X day when I'm around

sorry once the rant starts...

Sorry fc, X-posted, I wasn't ignoring you.

Meh, that's shite about the attitude you're getting at work. I suppose you just have to try and be water off a duck's back about it. Infuriating, though.

Nope, don't give vits or anything here. Dr told me to give vits when DD was tiny (for no reason as far as I could see) and although I bought the drops, I never actually administered them.
If DD starts getting colds and stuff regularly, especially once she's fully weaned, I may dig them out of the cupboard.

Oh DH is doing the reviews show on Radio 1 again tonight at 9. The presenter Matt Edmondson who is standiing in for Nihal (who has the dreaded tummy bug) is very funny.

Forgot to say Happy Birthday to Scones' DD earlier -sorry. Hope it's been a lovely day.

As well as LBH, where's Abs? Have I missed a trip away? If not, I've been aware for a little while that we haven't heard from her.

PA Hope DD is better soon. It's never nice when they're ill. Think I am getting the tummy bug here now. DH has come home in a real grump so hope he doesn't have to stay at home tomorrow to have the boys or he's not going to be best pleased (despite being lovely - he's got masses of work on!)

Stan try not to worry. I cut DS1's finger with the clippers when he was about 3 weeks old and DH has had to do the finger nail cutting ever since!!

Re work, when I came back after DS1, I was treated as a spare part, having more or less led the team previously under a very quiet boss, as I went back part time. This time round, the lady who sidelined me has retired and I'm back at the top. Hang on in there and believe that you are doing what is right for you as a family. Oh yes, and I'm loving work now - lovely to have a bit of the old me back!

just got an email from boss on my first day starting with

'With your family situation I am concerned that it is impacting you productivity as a postdoc. I am getting concerned about your ability to concentrate on getting your research going full speed'

crap!

I think me and DH have decided the stress of my boss is not enough to warrant staying a second year.

I've spoken to someone else at work and he's pulled this kind of thing before (although not the use of family). His way of motivating you is to make you feel bad Needless to say it doesn't work and nearly everyone there is unhappy.

It's a shame as all the other professor seem so OK, but I've learnt a lot this year. Work wise and life lesson wise. This is an amazing city and DH loves being a SAHD which he wouldn't have got to experience anywhere else. Politically I think changing my boss is a no no.

We have a meeting on Saturday (4:30pm). I want to go in calm and have a list of all the things that I want to discuss. It helps to know that this will come out (and his treatment of other post-docs). Research is a small community after all and I don't think the institution will be happy when their reputation starts to drop (he's a relative new addition to the uni)

thanks for listening :)

Well you can't have someone bullying you and making you feel miserable all the time. I'm so sorry he's such a wanker. We can see how committed you are to your work. I guess he won't acknowledge that he does stuff behind your back and undermines you but there's no reason you shouldn't point it out to him at this meeting.

Your old colleagues back here hold you in very high esteem, I'm sure it won't be long until they find a perfect role for you.

Penguin, how awful for you. I am sorry that you have to go through this at work. It's so frustrating thinking of the years of education, study and hard graft to reach this point. I really hope you find a decent solution. Sounds like you have a huge amount to offer anyway.