Dec 2008 - Hello 2011 the Year of the Toddler!

[DeidreBarlow]

Totally unispired but hope you all find it...

DS's latest is he won't feed himself. I hugely suspect it's due to mummy feeding dd since her arrival. He just holds his spoon in the air in my direction and grunts at me.... SL at least ds talks! I am not too worried. I'd rather that if anything, if he's going to be jealous.

Oh Pubes sorry forgot to say we've only gotten a babysitter in a hotel room once and it was through a company not through the hotel.

OH thanks Vag - howd it go? I suspect though, that you had left the boy at home with other babysitters prior? Mine have only ever had us or mil. Would I be mad?

And SL hooray for sleep and Vancouver sounds great, DH went downhill at Whistler a few years back (I was preggars with DS1) and loved it.

this is were we are staying in the summer Beans is the area nice then?

It was actually last June and we were at a wedding downstairs. It was fine but DS2 was a little older than your DD. They had had babysitters in the night by then and are fine as they are asleep and DS1 is fine if he wakes to a stranger looking after him. We did get called up twice, once when DS2 got a nosebleed which DH went up and delt with and once when DS2 woke and needed me to resettle. Is it for the wedding? Or is it in the US.

SL I read a good article in the Tumble Tots magazine this week about food problems. It had some good suggestions, which I will come back and share with you, but I'm off to bed now. If I've not told you in a few days, remind me!

Man my mum is a nightmare. I wrote a mildly amusing status on FB about our holiday and the fact that it is near the town of Condom in France. Got several very funny responses keeping with the theme, then my comes on and announces the death of someone's mum, who I hardly know and while sad she was pretty old, and his sons recent head injury. Now it is very sad for him but there's a time and a place. Weren't we talking recently about mothers and there inane facts announcements.

I was going to ask you about that comment Vag? It was odd but I thought I missed something.....
Oh the babysitter would be for the wedding in NZ. The hotel uses a pretty good company I've heard and we'd be about 1.5 miles away... Oh I don't know.... We could trial run a stranger babysitter (dh's family they haven't met) in the US ont the way...

They have apparently got a room set up at the wedding venue for babies / kids etc, but I don't really fancy that as then I'd have to worry about getting ataxi home with them both and car seats etc after drinking and all that and I probably wouldn't enjoy myself

Gosh trace how the heck do you get to bed so early all the time? 9prob cause you don't spend all night gaffing on MN no doubt)

You prob are worried about the safety ishoo, but as far as legal ishoo, taxis don't have to have carseat by law so you would need to bring the car seats. But I'm sure the babysitter would be fine. Do they usually wake?

My mum is just morbid, she does know the guy personally very well, but I don't know him that well, just to say hello to. but the thing is its personal for him it shouldnt be splashed on FB and one of the people who responded has a vague connection with him (her dad was deputy head teacher at his boarding school). I think she likes to be sensational. The guys brother is a little bit famous in Australia and I think she is hoping someone will make a connection and say oh is that ....'s brother. Which is for me a confidentiality thing. Aside from that it just brought the while status down. Nightmare, breathe Vag, breathe, you live on the other side of the planet.

Oh rubes, yeah, we have also had a babysitter from a hotel. We didn't check credentials but I am sure we could/should have done. He didn't wake up, and at the age he was (13 months) I think he would have been fine with anyone if he had woken up. These days I am not so sure, if you think he was likely to wake up you would probably be best getting the babysitter before settling him to sleep so he at least recognised them if he woke maybe?

It was me moaning about my mum and her inanities vag. My mum is lovely but it is funny, no I don't want to know about my old German teachers sister's dog or similar. Fortunately she's not on Facebook and also she isn't tactless like that.

trace that would be cool re the eating thing. Veg I'm not really worried that he will starve himself. Though I worry that I am not doing the right thing by giving him so many meals that he doesn't touch rather than just what he wants. If you gave your DS1 what he wants, how did you get him to eat new stuff? Did you just offer different stuff and then give him what he wanted when he refused it - and did he start to try new stuff when you could reason with him a bit more/ask him why he didn't like it? He just says "no like it" or "no want it" at the moment!
He is actually not even thin. He is very short though. Could his diet be causing that?
Yes, flying direct to Vancouver, Rubes. It's not just the flight it's the jetlag when we get there, probably staying in pokey accomodation where everyone wakes each other up, etc. Just the idea of the lack of sleep. I quite fancied splashing out on one of those active/beach type holidays (mark warner or similar) that have creches and getting some kid free time/where they have kid stuff built in, just so it's LOW EFFORT if you know what I mean. Vancouver seems a bit HIGH EFFORT right now!

Oh and Rubes what Vag says re the car seat, you don't need them legally in the UK anyway in a taxi. Also if it's 1.5 miles you COULD walk if it's a lit easy walk. Would only take half an hr ish? We've been to two wedding with both of them and we actually just got DS to sleep in the corner in a pushchair! DD slept in sling on my front but was v tiny at the time. Can't believe it worked actually (DS in pushchair that is). But I surprisingly enjoyed the evening even though I think babysitter would have been better (I think we didn't cos we didn't want to leave DD so we didn't really think of leaving DS if you see what I mean...now I think about it would have been a good idea). Oh I'm rambling now.

Kiwi you poor love, you have my full sympathy. DD has a bit of a cold and didn?t have a great nap today so had her grumpster hat on and I was really getting wound up by her, although it wasn?t a par on what you?re getting. Could it be a communication thing? DD?s worst meltdowns are when I just don?t understand what she?s trying to tell me, although isn?t your DD quite a chatterbox and pretty good with her language? All the suggestions you?ve had sound like good ones, the only other idea I have is distraction, as in that old advert where the Mum throws a tantrum in the supermarket while her DS looks on in amazement. I am keeping that one up my sleeve as I am sure I will need it some time! Maybe not throw a full on tantrum yourself (although it might make you feel better ), but how about being noisier than her (banging pans or something) until she pauses for breath to work out what the hell you are doing, then you can dive in and try some reasoning. How is your back, btw? Your DH owes you a BIG bunch of flowers/box of choccies to apologise for that!

Spot you also have my sympathy. Any chance you can get T into nursery for an extra session or two? If he is picking up on your tension, then you?ll pick up on his and it?ll be a vicious circle. Also it may give you a bit of chance to rest when B rests and catch up on some of that lost sleep. Remember to look after yourself lovey, or you?ll struggle to do the best for your boys

Jolly what a palaver, with all these appointments, and I?m sure they must be causing you some stress (but you sound very calm in your posts, far calmer than I would be). Is your DH with you, or do you have to go to them on your own? Phew for the steroids, now come on lungs, grow grow grow

Trace good luck for your appointment on Thursday

Like LadyT I also haven?t received my secret santa yet and I do hope there isn?t someone out there thinking I?m the rudest of the rude for not thanking them (ok, so I only finished DD?s birthday/Christmas thank you letters last night, but you lot are much higher up my priority list)

I have the 11 Feb off work, so if I leave the house at 6 for lunch at Jams, I reckon I could pick up Trace, head for the station and be there in time for lunch, assuming no waiting around at stations for connections . Maybe just better if I am there in spirit

How are your DD?s fingers today Indith? I imagine some impressive coloured bruises

Avo what did DD1s teachers say? Do they think she has settled? Poor thing, those nightmares sound v distressing

My friends have heard over the weekend that their darling little one will need heart surgery in a couple of months time, it sounds like she is really quite poorly . However they are hopeful that she can come home in the meantime, so please all keep your fingers crossed that a homecoming is imminent (the weekend would be nice, as it?s my friend?s birthday, so what a marvellous birthday present that would be)

Yeah, I'm really just worried because he's older now, and becuase if they did come all the way to NZ they would really still be on US or possibly still UK time so no doubt very unsettled if at all they actually go to sleep.
Another option is mil wants to come to the US (she didn't get back to us when we offered so thought she wasn't keen but just rang her and turns out she does want to go ) i had JUST got my head around the idea and kind of thought I wanted to take the kids to NZ, but on reflection I'm sure it'd be better to leave them with her in the US while we nip over for a few days.... Thoughts? It would just mean DH still having a few days of leave left when we returned to the UK as mil has to be back earlier... Oh the confusion of it all...!

Yeah, last time in the US I took ds's car seat but this time I was thinking of hiring them with the car..... Anyone done that? Too much stuff to take dd's AND ds's!

Nah, Rubes, I am good thank you, just dead busy (and dead tired). Have been doing days at the house, and have another one tomorrow and it just takes up all the time! I feel chewed up in the evenings then have a load of other stuff to fit in. I think your birth cert has come back sooner than DD2's so reckon you are in good shape for the passport...

Kiwi, I wish I could think of something for you. I can only tell you we have a tantrumming diva here as well - ok, not as spectacular as your DD's but running along the same sorts of lines/irrationality. I am sorry for you. Hope things improve.

Spot, as I said above I am so sorry things are hard for you. Oh dearie me. Hope the health professionals have some more answers. I sent you a parcel today. As to agents - well, they are usually even harder to obtain than publishers but worth a go - but so dependent on what you want to write, I guess. As to royalties, though, am not surprised you haven't heard anything as royalties come twice a year, end June and end Dec. But they don't actually have to account until three months following so in reality, for end Dec 2010 you would expect to see royalties in early April 2011! But if you had an advance, that would have to earn out, of course, before you were paid royalties anyway. Do feel free to message me if there's anything else I can help with.

JJ, I sent you a parcel too! Do look out for it...

JB - so sorry about the hozzie stress, how annoying for you. But please keep us posted. Hope you've got a good book whilst you're waiting around!

Trace - will be thinking of you on Thursday, lovey.

Summer, don't fret about your DS. My DD1 still doesn't really eat...she sort of subsists...on bread, fruit, yoghurts, Quorn sausages, crisps, some raw veggies....We are still plugging away but man, it's hard.

Oh, and DB - your son is such a card

Happy Burns Night, Jam! We had haggis and tatties (no neeps)! (Mine was a veggie haggis). DP was born in Edinburgh but doesn't celebrate Burns Night really. I would absolutely love to come to your house on the 11th even though it's an epic journey, but it's looking like that is when I am going to be at Mum's for a block of time. Sorry to be so flaky. Rubes, I know you offered that I could stay at yours and that is awfully kind of you to offer. I owe you a visit anyway, but it may not be then due to aforementioned trip to Mum's. Everything is up in the air at the mo as I am trying to fit various things round others (primarily DP).

Vag, I am sorry but I did actually smile when I saw what your Mum had said. I saw it earlier. I know that is awful and I am very sorry for the guy. But it was so incongruous. That's Mums for you, can't beat 'em! (My Mum texts me if the weather is looking as if it might be bad in a couple of days, to remind me to wrap up. Even though I live 70 miles away).

Avo, how did your second meeting go at school? Poor little DD1.

Funny you mentioned that Sky Sports thing, Vag, it's bothered me. Y'see, if they had sounded jokey, it only would have been annoying. But when they played the tapes on the news, it actually sounded rather nasty and it might sound ott, but I do feel let down!

Ouch, me eyes are stinging. Must get a (for me) early night!

Have written this over quite a long period so probably crossposted with millions.

Arrrrrrrrrrgh!! [bconfused]

1 mOre sleep!!!

Rubes holidays?

Hope the non sleepers have had some sleep.

SL we too are in food hell. No veg atall. Pasta pasta and more pasta. I do manage to hide things in bolognaise or meatballs oh and sausages and waffles and the traditional pb&j sandwiches. Seeing as the HV told menDS2 was on the heavy side I guess he is doing ok.

Right phase 2 of operation MIL today. Lordy my house has never sparkled so much.

Jolly - so sorry that the pre-eclampsia worries are continuing. What is your BP compared to booking. I limped along on
plus two protein and 145/100 for a few weeks before induction as I had no other symptoms (except oedema) and my BP wasn't getting steadily worse. I think how you feel is key. How do you feel? Is it possible your BP is rising when they test due to stress?

Spot - big hugs to you. If the GP says it's reflux ask for omperazole. My friend has had two v refluxy baby and swears it's the only drug worth having. Otherwise I can only suggest doing anything you can to help him sleep at least once every three hours. If he is getting overtired he may cry more. Will he sleep when walked in a sling?

Kiwi - no new advice I am afraid. We ignore tantrums or take away treats if that can be done immediatly. I would dose her on calpol every four hours for a dew days to see if it's pain.

DD1 seems so unhappy. Nightmares now wake her every couple of hours. In the day she is tearful and clingy and last night she had an almighty tantrum reminiscent of toddlers. Herteacher said shesgreat at school but I am so worried. I feel the girl I know is disappearing .

Oh god. Howled until 8.45, and woke up stropping. Is currently writhing around my bedroom floor screaming "no mummy cup of tea!" over and over because DH asked me if I want one... Anyone want to adopt a toddler? Comes with a great wardrobe.

Avo: poor DD1. Could one of her little schoolfriends have been telling scary stories? Would a new teddy or comforter help at night? Hopefully it's a transition thing and she'll settle down soon. Does she say what is worrying her?

Kiwi: if all else fails, I stick mine outside with a football and some sticks. They get a bit muddy though.

Jolly: are you going back into the hospital today? If so, let's hope they let you out soon. Let me know if you'd like some trashy reading material sent along :).

Look at it this way Kiwi. I would imagine if she is a hideous toddler she will be a delightful teenager.

Well Kiwi, clearly she felt that maybe you didn't want a cup of tea and that you said yes when you didn't know your own mind.

Rubs I love doing stuff together with the kids but they won't get much out of this trip except being tired and confused. They know your MIL and she will love looking after them so they'll be fine. If I could know someone like that who knew the kids well I would happily leave them for a couple to go somewhere with DH for sure.

SL basically we either expanded on what we had so added chicken to the pesto pasta (but next to it first not mixed in) or introduced very bland foods, like home made very bland pasta sauce which I could eventually sneak all sorts of vegetables into and eventually add more flavour. Eggy bread was a good one because it got him into eggs, which led to omlete, which led to quiche, another thing which veges can be hidden. The biggest revelation was vegetable soups, my alien range of soups. I told DS1 they were made from Orange, green or brown aliens and i whizzed them up so they were very smooth. Luckily he loves rice so I would either mix the soup with rice for more carbs and something he recognised or I would put it in a Thomas the tank engine mug for him to dip some toast soldiers into which was a bit novel. I also make faces on the plate with the food which both boys love and as he has gotten older he loves noodles so I put then in the soup and say they are alien intestines. His eating has improved sharply since DS2 came along as DS2 eats quite well and also meals aren't so boring for him and we also try to eat a couple of meals a week together as a family. Oh another bland meal I have slowly worked on is cheesy pasta, it now contains whizzed up cauliflower and fresh salmon poached in milk. He knows the salmon is in there obviously but not the cauliflower or the onion and garlic. In summer he agrees to chives because he picks them from the garden for me.

Oh and on the heights thing they actually do just grow to what they are supposed to, DS2 eats massive amounts but at the same age DS1 who ate like a starling (sparrows ate way more than him) was slightly taller. DHs nephew who eats only white food is way way taller than any child in his class. That bit is genetics.

Quicky before I go to work!

SL DS is eactly the same. He only ever eats about 1.5/2 meals a day. Last night for dinner he had a fruit pot(you know those pureed fruit they have as babies). He is so fussy and it drives me mad. But I had this with DD, and she will now eat pretty much anything thanks to school dinners. I know thats not much consolation now but it really will improve. Also with DS he eats really random things when out or at my mums but won't eat them for me. The other week were at a relatives 60th and DS polished off a whole bowl of hotpot. But wouldn't even try it whenI made it at weekend! All you can do is keep trying. Oh and I've lost count of the times we've gone to friends houses with a cheese sandwich for DS in my bag

rubes DS has packed his hand in feeding himself too. Especially his breakfast.

Right work....

Oh and on the feeding DS has always been a chunky monkey, and despite him going on hunger strike he still has a good amount of chub on him. Guess they really don't starve.