Totally's postgrads - you know who you are.

[Meita]

Totally's original thread was for TTC after MC. It continued long after Totally herself graduated, and is still going strong. Totally's grads was set up as a thread for pregnancy post MC - i.e. anyone who graduated from Totally's thread and anyone else who had experienced MC and was now pregnant. It, too, is still going strong.

Now, more and more of us have graduated from Totally's grads - including LouiseSH, whose Georgie was born asleep. I suppose that makes us postgrads. We have travelled together for a long time and would like to stay in touch, but the pregnancy post MC thread is starting to get very big, and I think it should be allowed to keep its focus on pregnancy post MC. May it be as wonderful a place for support for current "members" as it was for us.

So this thread is a place for us to keep in touch, share experiences, and provide support.

(This is the first time ever I'm starting a thread - hope it works out...)

Unbuffy how are you feeling today?

Toomuch how is the feeding going?

alba really really feel for you so so much. i feel very similar at the moment so i hope it's normal. give your gorgeous little baby a big big hug

lia thanks for your great advice on this thread, so good to hear this

We are doing well thanks, we are in absolutely zero routine during the day and pretty much go from mini 15 min naps to feeding to play but at nighttime she is pretty great we are v v lucky, she goes about 8 hours so I can't complain. I find myself not sleeping though at all cos I'm constantly listening for her, don't know when that will change but I did get a good 3 hour sleep run last night which was fantastic. I just find it's all worry worry worry, am I doing enough, am I talking to her enough, feel guilty if i let her sit in her bouncer for 30 mins watching me ironing and even though i chat to her all the time sometimes i realise i haven't for a few mins and feel so bad. Still she seems happy so hopefully she is doing well. My sis is here today and it's just great to have her over (my family are in Ireland) and so lovely for Ciara to spend time with her.

Not fitting into any of my jeans my stomach is just so sore still so I literally have 2 pairs of trousers that fit me and with the amount of sick that goes on them they are shrinking with all the washes!

It's coming up to my mc anniversary so Alba i really feel for you, i got all emotional last week as it was the date i had my last period before the mc, i do know how completely ridiculous it is to be sad on a day like that but felt so guilty to be holding ciara and to be so so lucky but yet feel so sad for the mc baby. I think it'll be a tough month, the mc date is 2 days before my bday so i dunno it's just going to be a bit hard which is so terrible to say i know given how lucky i am to have ciara here with us healthy and well.

Sorry this is such a me me post, just loving how i can reach out to you ladies again on this. I will get better I promise I promise at posting!

ps any news from louise?

So yday was a total boobfest but last night was a good night, down at 10.30 then up at 1.15, 4 & 6. Although PIL came to visit today and FIL seemed genuinely shocked that she is up more than once. I'm not crazy to think her schedule's ok at 3 weeks am I? Then again the reaction to demand feeding from lots of people is interesting in general.

My lovely DH came to bed to find us co-sleeping right in the middle and went back down to the sofa, so I got a blissful few hours. Am still dreading him going to work again in the morning, paternity leave is crap.

Hope others on boob duty are doing well.

thanks for the support, I had a good cry yesterday then felt a lot better, and gave both my gorgeous little boys big cuddles. Spent the afternoon out with them both, DS1 behaved beautifully whilst we had to take unscheduled coffee feeding stop en route to the park... then I ended up feeding on a park bench too, in the freezing cold and howling wind! It was that or listen to a wailing baby, and we'd only just got there, so would have been cruel to drag DS1 away when he'd just started having fun... then ended up feeding yet again in quiet corner of toy shop on the way home....... I'm getting over my fear and embarrassment of feeding out and about very quickly indeed!! And it is really good not to have to pack bottles and tubs and flasks of hot water and lug them around everywhere we go.

Happy I had to give up BF with DS1 at only 8 days old. He was tiny at birth and losing weight rapidly and the latch must have been bad from the start as I was in agony before, during and after feeds... and the damage to my nipples still evident now (I didn't have the same support then as I did this time) so I can relate to your feelings of guilt at having to stop. However, I think it's really important to remember that you've done the best you can and none of us can do more than that, sometimes things don't work out the way we hoped, but you're still doing what's best for your baby given the circumstances. And you made it till 6 weeks, so she's had huge benefit from that.

Unbuffy I hope you're finding life a little brighter with your DH around to help. Just the smallest amount of extra support can make such a big difference.

Toomuch, Gilda and everyone else, wishing you all nice easy nights with babies who settle beautifully after their feeds.

Time for me to settle for the night too. The past few nights I've settled down to sleep around now and not sat up again till 6am (when DS1 comes in to see us...) - cosleeping and feeding on my side, I don't know what times I've been feeding, it just kind of happens, and occasionally I move X to the other side, then back again. I think I've been feeding lots, but have also got some decent rest in between, fingers crossed for more of the same tonight...

Quick question... Jemima has started spitting up in the last couple of days. I think it looks like a lot, but then with EBF I have no idea what volume she might be getting. How do I know she's still getting enough? She's being weighed for the last time by the HV on Thursday, so I guess I'll know then, but what if she's vomming up all her calories?

PS Happy I too struggle with the not being stimulating enough worry... sometimes I can't face hearing my own voice anymore and quite like a bit of silence!

Toomuch, I think, though by no means expert here, they're more likely to spit up if they're getting more milk more quickly. I like to think so, it started for us about a week ago, and feeding started getting quicker too with a lot more audible gulping. Like you I guess we'll know at the next weighing... Fingers crossed they're all gaining nicely now...

TMT J is a perennial sicker. so was dd. doessn't seem to worry either of 'em at all. sorry notalotta help, just wanted to join in/share

we had a new one today - poo that exploded out of nappy, ran down leg and onto floor as i pickedhim up to change him... sooooo much poo...

ooooo i need sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

hi all btw

thought I'd better post, as thread has dropped of my 'threads I'm on' list!

Too tired to namecheck... but wanted to share that we've 'properly' started BLW last night. We had home-made beef burger (in buns), potato wedges, and broccoli. All three of us. :)
One thing I can say is that there is clearly one member of our household who approves of this weaning method: Lucy the cat. I think now that Ianto feeds her drops juicy morsels from the table, he has improved a lot in her estimation!
Am loving the 'BLW cookbook' and am now quite disappointed by the Annabel Karmel book.

In other news, last Friday Ianto worked out how to shake a rattle (rather than just chewing on it). Just a pity that at our 'Music with Mummy' session today, he went back to chewing, at least until the song had finished... the song ended on a 'shhhh' and everybody is supposed to be quiet... .

Sleep wise things have improved again, I guess it was indeed a growth-spurty thing.
Hope you lot with littlies are getting some sleep too.

waves

Hi all. Have taken advantage of a brief gap between feeds to catch up on mn. In complete sympathy with you TMT - Cecily is a feeding and pooing machine. Seriously I've had my boobs out all day and I'm knackered. My fabulous DH is on nappy duty and my mum (bless her - we've come to stay with my parents for a week) is on washing patrol (she doesn't just poo, she explodes! Admittedly she's not yet got to the stage where it runs down her leg, but enough to require a complete change of clothes with each nappy).

Bigs hugs to Alba and Unbuffy - hang in there! I'm taking each hour as it comes and so far that's helping. If I start thinking too far ahead or contemplating the bigger picture I start to feel panicky.

Waves to all!

red not stalking you or anything but you must be fairly local to me if you had baby at WH. :)

buffy at your proper poo explosion, you are now officially a parent.

Hi to everyone else.

Poo explosions are known as 'poonamis' here, we have plenty. Straight up the back toward the neck. Sometimes it even reaches the neck... Glad everyone's bearing up, lack of sleep is a pig. We do ok because we co-sleep - I feed while barely conscious. That said I still probably feed three times a night. I do want to try to get Ruby to sleep in her crib in the early evening rather than in my arms. She's not amused by the idea at all. I'm really happy for her to come in with us once we're in bed and she wakes. Such a pity I can't just explain it all to her! In other news we're moving house soon - we have so mch going on! Hope all well, hope you all have some sleep tonight! SB x

Bathtime tonight and DH stupidly held her naked while I checked the temp, cue wee all over his work clothes, I laughed my head off on the grounds that I've been pooed on more than once.

Jemima is doing better with the basket, one thing we do is I hold a muslin behind her as she feeds so when I put her down it's still warm and maybe smells good. Doesn't always work, less so in the day too.

Still on boob duty here, it's bloody exhausting.

So, we are now officially OUT of the basket - due to the fact that head touches one end, feet touch the other (still only 9 weeks mind) and into The Big Cot... Whether due to that or mammoth mega screaming session all evening yesterday we had a little bit more sleep (3 hours for the longest inter-feed gap rather than 1 1/2). But we too are still stuck on permanent boob patrol...

Have had neckwards poos before, but downwards is unusual. At least it was at home - most explosions seem to happen in embarrassing places - hospital for example when we went for his hip check at 6 weeks, the doctor's surgery, playgroup with dd, and so on. It's deliberate!

Hope all doing well, TMT on a similar note if you wrap her in a blanket and put her down wrapped it has a similar effect, plus being all warm and snuggly (as long as it doesn't send you to sleep too!)

We are in the Big Cot now too Unbuffy crazy how tiny they look in it! Long day here, ciara been super ajitated, horrile to see them like that, been sick too, gone asleep now for alittle while, poor thing needs more feeds. She has her injections tomorrow - my big plan was asuper relaxed easy day today so she was in good form tomorrow but who knows now.

TMT - mw recommended i heat a hotwater bottle put it in basket/cot before they go down, take it out then obv when putting it down but they like the warmth then. Only meant to do this at nightime apparently so that they associate that with a big sleep rather than a daytime sleep. I haven't done this yet myself though but just a tip i heard!

Going to go have a cup of tea super tired xx

hi all - it's been a bit slow on here recently! hope everyone is ok.

sometimes i just get so bored - i mean, ianto is fun to be with and all, but after the n-th time of picking up his toy for him just to drop it again, i could do with some change. dp is away until tomorrow night and already i'm wishing he'd come home... isn't it just wrong to be bored of your own baby?

in other news, just finished a ball i knitted for him and he likes it :)
(you knitters/crocheters out there, find me on ravelry, same nickname)

Happy good luck with Jabs - we have them tomorrow...

Got a little bit more sleep again last night (back to 3 hour bursts), but mad screaming airy abdabs all evening again. Why do they do it?

Meita xp! I don't think it's wrong at all, or if it is i'm proper guilty. They do get more interesting though - eg i currently hsve a just 2 year old girl who has become VERY determined about what she wears each day. And she keeps stripping her baby brother off down to nappy (and will take that off too if not stopped first) and saying 'Normous POO Mummy'. But little babies just eat, vomit and sleep. And do normous poos of course.

It HAS been quiet recently, i wonder if it's down to sleep deprivation or have people started developing outside lives? If so, unfair, where's mine?!

Clarea's having her cs tomorrow.... love and luck, lady!

Only yesterday I met up with my NCT group and we all agreed that we're bored. Don't get me wrong, I love Jemima tons, but I can do nappies now, really I'm a pro, and if I never had to do one again that would be ok with me.

So... have had a couple of sleep deprived nights TBH. On Monday she didn't go down until 12.50, but was still up again at 3.15 and 6.30, and then only gave me a 40 minute nap during the day. I was so beyond tired. Not helped by the NCT women all having babies that sleep lots - like down at 8.30 and only up at 4am then asleep again until 10 - well I could do that no trouble. Seriously they all looked at me like I was mad when I told them how often we're up. Plus, getting back into bed after a nappy change and thinking your DH is about to stroke you in a supportive manner and then all he does is reach to adjust his earplugs and go back to sleep... oooh the rage [anger] Logically of course I know there's nothing helpful he can do, but still. Plus he got home last night and mentioned needing a cleaner... I've had 40 minutes sleep since you left for work, you have got to be kidding me!!!

So last night, she slept in the evening on me, which made eating curry a bit more exciting than usual, and then went down at 11, up at 1.15. Normally (on MW advice - the more they eat the longer they sleep) I try to cadjole her into waking up and feeding more, but in my comatose state she fed for 10 minutes, fell asleep on the boob and I put her back down. I'd like to think I was considering Alba's advice about more efficient feeding, but in truth I was just so tired I couldn't be bothered and figured she'd wake me again if it was an issue. She woke again at exactly the normal time, 3.30, it hadn't made her sleep any less time at all. Victory I thought, as I fed her again, I even composed a post in my head abouthow great it was, how her falling asleep so quickly meant I hadn't heard her poo and thus been guilted into a nighttime nappy change, oh it was fab.

Anyway, at 3.30 we did the guilty nappy change, fed, and put her down again. She woke up. We fed a bit more, put her down. She woke up. Again and again until 5am. Not feeling so smug now.

And I really do have the windiest baby in the world, I think that's part of the reason she doesn't sleep so well. She spends ages cycling her legs, and screwing up her face, and evetually does a giant fart. I can hear her gulping air as she feeds but don't seem able to stop her.

Which brings me to my final point (she's asleep so I'm getting it all off my chest!)... I think I might start a thread called "The lies they tell you..."

1. Breastfed babies don't get wind. Bollocks. Mine burps and farts more than any old man.

2. Let down just feels a little bit tingly. Erm... if tingly is (short term) shooting pains then maybe.

3. Newborn babies go three hours between feeds and can't stay awake for more than two hours. Not in our house.

Please feel free to join in my rant. I so needed that.

Hope all is well elsewhere, looking forward to clare joining us. Good news on the big cots, and good luck for jabs.

I agree with all your rants TMT! I did read Gina Ford once, made steam come out of my ears... J can do 6 hours easy and then top it off with an hour of screaming about how tired he is! And as for feeding, some days it's every hour, today he has refused to feed (offered repeatedly) since 9am - i am in agony! And let down!!! Randomly if i bend over or for no apparent reason it comes on, twenty seconds of me going 'ow ow ow' plus again at feeding times. And don't talk to me about exploding milk - i can hit things several feet away if he lets go!

Screaming again, back to the grindstone...

Morning All...well, no it's not really morning but it doesn't feel like afternoon really, only just been bothered to get dressed and I smell of milk already... Yes you can see here too the shine of new motherhood is wearing a bit thin. Yes I do LOVE LOVE LOVE him, but I could do with way more sleep, better behaved boobs and some time to do something mentally interesting combined with the will to do it.

Oh god here we go again... the WAHs have begun upstairs... Now I really know what 24/7 means! Love to all, will try to get back later. Only just managing to snatch quick reads atm, hard to hold ipod and wriggly baby at same time!

PS Toomt your NCT group LIE.
I feed at 12.30, 3.30, 5.30, 7am. Actually interesting writing that, can see that the durations get less over night, I must be too tired to keep making him feed when he wants to give up. By 5.30 am it's ..you finished? now get back to your cot AND LET ME SLEEP!

A couple of blessed nights he did 12.30, 4, 7 but only teasingly often enough to show me how much better life could be! Damn it!

PSS I want to come and rant about sodding nappies but it will have to be later. Oooh bet you can't wait!

Hi Everyone, I guess the thread is a bit slow at the moment - we are all busy with our babies! I am hoping to get a whole post written, but we'll see...

We are really busy here, so I haven't had any time to be bored! The interview prep was massive and I was spending every moment Ruby was sleeping working on it. In the same week as I got the new job we found a house to move to and all of that is going ahead rapidly - moving on the 12th March. Suddenly I have loads to do!

Ruby is still bloody fab. She is feeding every 2/3 hours which is pretty demanding and although I've been trying to stretch the gap out it hasn't really worked at all. She is pretty good natured but loves to be entertained - she is so interested in everything. Standing up is still the favourite thing to do closely followed by watching tv . How embarrasing. She laughs and talks to the tv kicking her legs and giggling away. She loves to be held, mainly by me and later in the day is quite demanding...she will go to sleep on her own in the car seat but nowhere else and doesn't ever sleep for more than ten minutes in her crib. Why would you when you have a lovely warm , milky mummy to cuddle up with??? It's all fine now but I have to get sorted by the time I start working again at the beginning of July.

TooMuch Hang in there, it'll get easier. I find that Ruby takes in more air when my flow is fast - if you have a strong let down the milk might be flying out! You could try expressing a bit before you feed her to see if it helps. Also helping her get the wind out straight after the feed might help too, it's probably more painful once it gets toward the tummy. There are loads of different techniques for winding, some quite odd! Oooh - a poo is going on here so my time is nearly up!

Hope everyone else is doing ok, thinking of you Buffy, hope you are perkier this week hun. Meita - how old was Ianto when you started weaning? I'm not thinking of doing it only thinking about thinking about it in preparation. Oooh - poo update - much more, could be a poonami situation...

Ooof. Halfway up the back. All clean now . Must, must, do some ironing. God, we'll all be naked next...

I feel your pain on the nights ladies, we feed with similar frequency but must confess a couple of lazy mum things I do to make it easier... Firstly, we co-sleep. Never even tried the cot or the Moses basket. From around midnight till 6 or 7 I try not to sit up, feed side lying and I drop off before X does... We're very careful to keep bedding off him (I have duvet to my waist only and sleep in a cardi... And it does mean changing the sheets quite a lot as I leak milk everywhere ... but I get a lot more sleep since learning to latch him on that way. Occasionally he fusses a lot and I do have to sit up (like 3am last night) so not perfect, but it does help a lot.

The other bad mummy thing I do is a formula feed in the middle of the non-stop evening cluster feed. A helpful addition that I felt awful about to start with. Had to supplement when he lost so much weight and so we give him the extra when it's most helpful to me... I get ready for bed and DH gets a short bonding session.

I'm guessing your NCT friends are all formula feeders? They do sleep much longer (DS1 was FF) BUT... Getting up to make up bottles in the night, even just once, in my experience much more knackering than a few half asleep night time latchings-on lying down. However, I may be getting a bit more sleep due to the formula top up, I really don't know as I don't register the time for a lot of my semi-wakings.

I do completely agree that full time babycare gets quite tedious... Though I know this is my last time so I'm letting everything else slide (my wonderful mum and DH are taking up the slack) and I'm trying to enjoy every minute.

My baby sling is fabulous for giving me more time to go out with DS1 or shopping, or for coffee, because once he's settled he sleeps much longer cuddled up to me (or at the weekend with DH - the time he takes him is truly liberating!). And now I'm getting less embarrassed feeding in public that's also a big help, far less to lug around.,, a change of clothes for him, changing bag and a big scarf to hide under...

Only frustration is if I have to be somewhere at a set time as we have no routine so planning is tricky! But sometimes needs must and he has to be strapped to me screaming for short stretches.

Normal life, work and freedoms/responsibilities will return all too soon, so I'm making the most of my nappy changing (and we joined the explosive nappy ranks yesterday... Dripping down his leg and all over the sofa cushion thankfully washable...)

shame we don't all live nearby so we could meet for long coffees and chats... One handed phone typing whilst feeding much trickier...

Well I'm impressed Gilda - I'm still in my pyjamas!

Love your rants TMT. I have a question for you ladies - how do babies know when you sit down? Cecily loves to be rocked standing up. But the very second you sit down she instantly she becomes 'wakey baby'. How the hell do they know you're sitting down, I mean, you're still rocking them. And, if they have this amazing sixth sense why don't they also realise that mummy had a c-section and can't stand and rock forever without her tummy hurting?

We alternated between the 'waaaaahs' and the 'wakey baby' modes from 7.30pm till 1.30am last night Babies can't stay awake for more than two hours? My a**e!

Way to go Ruby!! Cecily met one set of grandparents for the first time on Sunday - we had two poonamis and 4 full changes of clothes! Then she spent the whole evening feeding so no cuddle time for them at all!

Oh yes, Lia, I wouldn't say Ashford was our nearest hospital, but it's the same distance to Margate and has a staffed MLU (a rarity in east Kent atm) so we decided to go with it. Glad I did in hindsight.

And finally, on the subject of slings and c-sections. How long should I wait to try it out?

I'm home alone tonight - eek!