Totally's postgrads - you know who you are.

[Meita]

Totally's original thread was for TTC after MC. It continued long after Totally herself graduated, and is still going strong. Totally's grads was set up as a thread for pregnancy post MC - i.e. anyone who graduated from Totally's thread and anyone else who had experienced MC and was now pregnant. It, too, is still going strong.

Now, more and more of us have graduated from Totally's grads - including LouiseSH, whose Georgie was born asleep. I suppose that makes us postgrads. We have travelled together for a long time and would like to stay in touch, but the pregnancy post MC thread is starting to get very big, and I think it should be allowed to keep its focus on pregnancy post MC. May it be as wonderful a place for support for current "members" as it was for us.

So this thread is a place for us to keep in touch, share experiences, and provide support.

(This is the first time ever I'm starting a thread - hope it works out...)

happyGirl yes I'd recommend it. And someone else was asking if it was too early - well the book has two sections, one for babies up to 4 months, and one for older babies. So no, it's not generally too soon. However the book also encourages you to think about if you are really ready for working on sleeping. Or do you secretly enjoy those intimate nighttime moments when it's just you and baby in a quiet house? In other words, the author does not put any pressure on, she says it is really up to you to find out when it is time to start working on sleep.

Hi ladies! It's been a while!

Viv the spiders had beautiful sun tans jaundice for a while, HVs were happy as long as the jaundice was not getting any worse, they were feeding well and not too sleepy (all the time). It improved dramatically after their 3 week spurt/feedathon (followed by pooathon) and by 4 weeks it had completely gone (it was only the whites of their eyes that were slightly yellow in the corners for the last week). We didn't strip them off as it was early March but taking them outside lots and letting them sleep under the window seemed to help.

Happy sorry you are having sleeping problems. Could she be teething? or possibly cold? The weather has turned recently and might be stopping her from going right off? I know it also takes them a while to get used to sleeping in the cot during the day especially if they are used to being snuggled in a car seat. The twins are reluctant to sleep (have a substantial nap) anywhere other than a car seat or their buggy in the day......have tried in the cot and they are not keen, they also will nod off in their bouncers but only for 20mins or so (I know I disturb them, hard not too when you are rushing around trying to do housework MN quietly!) I hope she goes back to sleeping well soon.

Roast sounds lovely Unbuff and the thought of fur lining and hot water bottles I could fall asleep on the keyboard Clare.

Glad there has been and improvement since moving J TMT :)

There is action on the baby monitor, me thinks another feed is required.....hungry babies today.......growth spurt, they are growing too fast! Please slow down!

Hope everyone has a settled night!

x

viv loopy penguin ivy how goes it from newborn town?!

happy if you tot up how much time she's sleeping in the day it probably is 2-3 hours, just not in her cot... nothing wrong with this unless you get the impression that she hates her cot at night! In which case you could try to make it a bit cosier for her (one of those sleep supports maybe?)

OK... I know I'm going to have rotten tomatoes thrown at me after this but can't help it.... DS2 is still sleeping really well, goes down at 7, dream feed at 11 and wakes at 7, he's done this from 9 weeks old, and I'm really sad about it! it feels like the newborn bit has been so short, I do miss my middle of the night snuggles

I am sure that karma will strike and he will be up all night when he's a teenager though!

It appears it takes me 2 days to finish a post now.....

Loopy - ouch and you have my sympathy - I had the same thing with N - he has the strongest suck but his latch was terrible - ended up with really severe damage - especially on the RHS too. Its now just about healed but it was so painful. In our case it turned out that N was tongue tied - might be worth getting her checked for that? I found that the best position for least pain was lying back with N on top of me - the biological nurturing website has video of this which is probably better than me trying to explain. Somehow it improved his latch massively - totally impractical for out and about though!!

Clare - don't bemoan the lack of wakings - just think about how much more awake and interactive you are in the day!

We are having sleep issues again. At about 5 weeks N suddenly decided it was ok to be in his bedside crib (rather than only sleeping on me!) as long as he was tightly swaddled and we were at the brilliant stage of waking twice - once about 11-12 and once between 4-5. This didn't happen every night, but enough to make it almost a habit. Then he had his first jabs and was so unsettled he woke every hour and ended up back sleeping on me for a couple of nights. Managed to get him back into his crib and he started back on the brilliant twice waking pattern. However over the last couple of nights we've had total regression - he sleeps from 8-12 ish but then wakes virtually every hour. One night I think it was cos his nappy was so wet - i worked this out when he weed at about 6am when he was in bed with me and it went all over me! Last night I changed him at about 3am to avoid this - then he decided to poo at 4am and then continued to whine in his crib until I got him out and brought him into bed. Anyone got any ideas about how I can get him back to sleeping longer again? I've started to read the NCSS and will try an earlier bedtime - we usually start trying to get him into bed by 7 / 7:30 but it takes until at least 8 to get him to sleep (used to be until 9-10, but bought black out blinds and they've made a difference!). He's only 9 weeks today so I"m not worried about his sleep - just a shame he's stopped with the brilliant pattern he'd started!

Hope everyone else is doing well

Loopy, if you're not using it already, try lansinoh. Expensive but worth every penny for helping to heal cracks. Hope you're better really soon...

Clare . What more can I say?

We're crap at sleep here, I just go with the flow. Getting better at evenings. What seems to keep him asleep is me being desperate for him to wake and feed... I was getting quite engorged last night... He sleeps on me early evening, or next to me, wherever I am and I carry him to bed later. Works well as it wakes him a bit for dreamfeed. But last night nothing would wake him... Even cold cot sheets and bouncing him upstairs... So I got half an hour with a breastpump before bed (so I can sort of relate to your missing baby snuggles Clare...)

Another thought for you Loopy, start on least painful side each time to get you through initial letdown and major hunger/most powerful sucking, just for a minute then switch to the painful side if that's the one you should be feeding from. Might help.

ouch loopy could you try nipple shields?

northern babies have really short sleep cycles, so it sounds like when N is coming into light sleep he's waking up and is then unable to get back to sleep by himself? you know that he can go between 11 - 4 without a feed, so you could try other things to settle him at these times (of course feed if he's hungry though!) ssh pat works well for me (make sshing noises while patting on the bottom). I started by doing it when he was feeding so he associated it with comfort. Then once we'd established that, I'd stop feeding when he was drowsy but not completely asleep and continue doing the ssh patting to put him down until finally the ssh patting was enough of a comfort cue to settle him to sleep. If he then wakes at night, I could just tilt him onto his side in his basket and sssh pat him until he went to sleep by himself, picking him up if he's really unhappy though.
A dummy has also been a lifesaver!
hope this helps a bit?

Waves from cluster feeding hell, DT1 pined me to sofa from 5-8.30ish. She also had 2 bottles in between. Shattered. Will be DT2s turn tomorrow probably. Hopefully they will sleep and allow me to knacker myself even more when I go to postnatal aerobics in the morning .

Agree with Alba about the lansinoh, it is magic stuff Loops.

Wish you all a good night shut eye x

blimey magic, aerobics?! No wonder you're looking so good despite having tiny twins... I just about manage to creak my way through nice gentle yoga, with the occasional stop for a feed so it's not too much like hard work!

Wishing lovely sleepy peaceful nights to all

Hi all.

Loopy ouch that sounds painful! Hopefully things will improve soon.

Magic wow I am impressed at aerobics!

Clare how much better do you feel for getting sleep - that's fab!

We're doing ok. C is lovely. She was 5 wks yesterday & got v excited when she slept from 8.15pm to 4.15am on tue although I was awake for hours with rock solid boobs waiting on her to wake up! However she now has a bit of a cold & was up every hour last night - have propped up mattress; using saline drops & now have pancake boobs!

made aerobics but DH did school run or I would never have made it out. It is very gentle (3rd week this week) lots of pelvic floors and I have been so lucky as the twins have either slept or just stared at all the crazy mummies jumping about for an hour!

Haircut later and need to go food shopping so I think I will be going to bed with the girls tonight.....

Glad things are better Loop keep feeding through the blocked duct.

LOL at pancake boobs Penguin, hope her cold clears up quickly.

Have a good day all! x

Oh sleep... where are you? Everything is one step forward, two, three, ten? backwards.

I thought we'd got into a pattern I could cope with... down at 7, asleep around 7.30. Feed at 10 and 1, settle at 2.30/3, feed at 4 then into bed with me whenever she wakes up either side of 6 for a bit more sleep/feed combo.

But last night she woke up so many times and every time I went to her she wouldn't settle without a feed so I brought her in with me at 3.30 because I could feel myself losing the plot. Not least because of the 5 nights she's been in her room each with 6 or so get ups DH has done 3 in total, and only the 5.30/6am one.

But by the time I've prodded him to go I'm awake anyway. Why can't he just notice himself one bloody time and get up before me? It's making me so angry but I don't know how to say it to him. I know he thinks because he goes to work he needs to sleep and I get that, but at 3 in the morning I just feel so on my own. How come just because I got the XX does it all become my responsibility?

Sorry, moan over. She's having her morning nap on me with nipple in mouth just so I can have some quiet time.

Kind of nice to hear others struggling with sleep too, in RL everyone's babies sleep through (so to you clare) but then in RL everyone formula feeds too, so I don't feel like I know anyone in a similar situation. If anyone finds the answer please will you come and tell me???

Loopy hope the nips are getting better and you've cleared the blocked duct.

Viv glad to hear the jaundice is improving.

Magic yes you are mad!

Right, memory's gone, waves to everyone else!

Four months old on Tuesday.

What does this meeeeeeeeaaaaaan????

Oy! Stop eating my posts, evil internet monster!

So, once again...
TMT you have my sympathies. Sounds like it might very well be the dreaded 4mo-sleep regression. There is one good thing about those regressions: They pass. Methinks we might be in the throws of the 9mo-regression...
Unlike your DH, my DP was a star last night. I went to sleep at 11 and didn't wake up until around 6, when DP brought me I. for feeding. I thought: Wow! And then: We must have got past whatever it was... Until DP informed me that he was up all night, at least 17 times (turns out it was once that he could really remember) but the point is, I didn't wake up! That's the first time since I. was born that I slept through his night wakings. And yes, even so, it is LOTS better than just a few nights ago. Recently I. had been waking hourly until midnight and from 4am onwards. At least he gave us that 4h break in the middle. It was a bit like having a newborn again...

I remember reading about some research into the question if men really don't wake up, or only too late to do anything, or if that was just an excuse. The findings: Indeed, mums (on average) wake up a lot faster when baby cries than dads do. HOWEVER, if dad is alone with the baby i.e. has the responsibility and all, they wake up just as fast as mum usually does! They reckon that's because mum subconsciously knows she needs to be aware of what baby is doing, whereas dad subconsciously knows that mum will be looking. But if dad knows that it is alone his responsibility, he wakes just as quickly. So if you want your DHs/DPs to take on some night duty, you need to make them really realise that they are 'on'...

Would love to post helpful wise things about sleep and sleep regressions and stoof BUT.

Am tooo sleep deprived to remember anything.

We had a WONDERFUL week last week, a whole week where he slept through the night (I didn't, combination of rockboobs and waiting for him to wake up!) and I felt almost human again. But this week we've been back to the 3 or 4 wakings a night, hungry too with massive feeds attached. Have resorted to expressing this morning and doing the baby rice thing at lunchtime as he's just soooooooooooooooooo hungry all the time... Reckoned that would be the best time of day to do it... Will have to see how that works out tonight

I am so [greenface] of Clare I might just have to get those mouldy toms out of the bin for you! But very glad it's all going well for you.

Loopy LOL at your boobysandwiches - a bit like going to bed dressed in salad but clearly effective nonetheless

TMT It sounds horrible but have you tried leaving it a few minutes (I mean 4 or 5 not loads) before going through? Sometimes they settle themselves back down again. Also second what somebody said about warmth - are you using blankets or a sleeping bag? Maybe she's cold and needs another layer? But also 4 months (I vaguely recall, it was all of 6 weeks ago) was when we went through a particularly bad time with J sleeping, it is very horrible and there is no effective way around it bar waiting. But moving into her own room is a big and very helpful step. This too shall pass...

Hi to everyone, must go and do some stuff as this place is a bombsite and the bratties will only sleep for another 20 minutes or so (if i'm lucky)

[Madlywavingemoticon]

XP Meita... And fix a REALLY LOUD baby moniter right next to his head!

evil sniggers at cabbage leaves and cracks

You're supposed to put them on your boobs

Another one here slightly delirious from lack of sleep. loopymumsy I can't remember if I said congratulations or not? I think not, sorry, so... Congratulations
Little D is back to waking every few hours through the night. She is at least settling back to sleep again after a brief feed but I am utterly exhausted. Have also just spent an hour and a half cuddling, rocking, feeding her to sleep- just when I thought we had cracked settling her in the evening. I feel like everyone else in RL just pops their baby down in the cot after their evening feed and they just drop off to sleep. Am I the only person who has to spend ages helping their baby get to sleep? Have I gone wrong somewhere?
Sorry for the slightly hysterical mememe post. Can't quite think straight, but much sympathy to everyone else struggling with sleep deprivation. And Clare am very but glad someone is getting some sleep. And I can understand you feeling a bit sad. I do quite like doing the night feed- just wish there weren't so flipping many of them...

Re sleep- I honestly don't think it's down to me at all!! Ds1 was far worse at sleeping! They are sharing a room for the first time tonight... So sweet!

dorcas you are not the only person who's baby takes ages to settle. Have now being putting N down for an hour- much shushing and patting but have now resorted to feeding even though I know he isn't hungry- that said he is having some so I just hope it means he'll need less tonight.

Last night for us was much better - he went from 7:30-1:30 without a feed which is an all time record then woke at 4. He just took a very long time to settle after wakings so am hoping I can cut that back. Ended up going back to bed with him this afternoon and inadvertently sleeping for 2 hours. Thankfully he's not really awake now so am hopeful he'll sleep

Hi. Had another scan today all good .GBOS measuring 16 weeks which is spot on he/ she kicked their legs ,arched their back and flipped right over. Very cute , our Georgie is certainly
Keeping an eye on her bro or Sis!!!

Hope everyone is well? Love to all xxx