Totally's postgrads - you know who you are.

[Meita]

Totally's original thread was for TTC after MC. It continued long after Totally herself graduated, and is still going strong. Totally's grads was set up as a thread for pregnancy post MC - i.e. anyone who graduated from Totally's thread and anyone else who had experienced MC and was now pregnant. It, too, is still going strong.

Now, more and more of us have graduated from Totally's grads - including LouiseSH, whose Georgie was born asleep. I suppose that makes us postgrads. We have travelled together for a long time and would like to stay in touch, but the pregnancy post MC thread is starting to get very big, and I think it should be allowed to keep its focus on pregnancy post MC. May it be as wonderful a place for support for current "members" as it was for us.

So this thread is a place for us to keep in touch, share experiences, and provide support.

(This is the first time ever I'm starting a thread - hope it works out...)

Oh thank goodness RHG, I shoved boob in mouth 6 times in the night last night, mostly for comfort as I just needed her to go back to sleep. It can't be a sensible plan. This is such bloody hard work.

Well... in the last 10 days or so I. has gone from being able to turn in circles while lying on his tummy to 'crawling' forwards quite efficiently; from barely able to carry his weight on his legs to pulling himself up all by himself and 'walking' by holding on to furniture; from saying only uh-uhhh-uuhh to saying wha-wha-wha-da-da-dee-da-wha-wha and all kind of other sounds. He has also met a huge number of people (as he was paraded through my mum's office) and has learned to know and trust his grandparents.

Somehow I'm not surprised he has also mutated into a very unpredictable and delicate sleeper!

Hope everyone is ok. I feel a bit as I haven't been namechecking at all recently - I hope you don't mind me just dropping in and sharing the news in Meitaland! I do try to keep up with what everyone is doing but usually by the time I've read everything I've already forgotten half of it...

Wow Meita, that is a serious amount going on for I! He's growing up so fast...
Just a quick one from me, I'm off to post in bfing, but while I'm here... I have a very tender, slightly red spot on one . Should I be worried about mastitis? What should I do? Have been so far spared this particular bf issue but knowing our luck with bfing
hi to all, wishing you peaceful nights

Meita wow!!! Well done Baby I .. How fantastic! He has come on loads, how old is he now? That's just fab, you must be so so proud!

Dorcas I never had mastitis so not sure i'm afraid

No real news here, quite tired (who isn't!), trying to get C back in her routine, I think her solids in the evening need to be done earlier as she isn't taking a full bottle at bedtime which then means she gets hungry, i dunno hopefully i'll get the hang of it soon.

Dorcas that sounds like a blocked duct (which is precursor to mastitis), you need to feed from that side as much as possible, some say with baby's chin pointing to red bit (makes for interesting feeding positions at times!) to clear the blockage.
Also can help to apply hot compress to that part before feeding (I use a breastpad soaked in the hottest water I can stand). Also try to gently massage the blocked duct whilst feeding to help clear it.

If you suddenly start to feel flu symptoms, then it has progressed to mastitis and you need antibiotics as soon as possible. But chances are you'll be able to get mini Dorcas to clear it for you before that happens. Good luck.

Meita post away, love hearing your news :)

Gilda thanks for the White screen tip. Thankfully have not needed to try it yet... Fingers crossed it'll survive now till August.....

RHG sorry you have the sleep deprived blues, it's no fun, but it passes (I keep telling myself whenever they hit).

And I can't remember the rest of the namechecks I meant to make, they'll come back to me as soon as I post...

Happy, I. is 8 months old now. Time really flies! It's been great for my parents to have him here at such a fun time. And DSis has apparently come round to being ok with it all too.
8 months is kind of early for the walking stuff, but kind of late for the vocalising. Not that I'm worried, he'll do things in his own time. But yes we're excited and proud whenever he manages something new. Which seems to be, like, every day ;)
On the other hand, last night: Baby up at midnight, 2am, 4am, 6am, 8am up for the day. Managed to settle him without feeding at 2am but didn't even bother to try after that.
In a way I would really like for him to sleep through, apparently most babies at his age do. But then, I get quite annoyed when people keep telling me 'oh he should be sleeping through by now, you need to do something about this/get on top of it'. It also knocks my confidence to do things as they feel right: I'm fine with him doing things in his own time, but maybe 'everybody' is right? Maybe now is the time to start actively sleep-training him? Particularly as I really wouldn't complain if he did sleep through. (Getting annoyed at people telling me to do what I really would like anyway: Irrational, me?)

Dorcas I agree with Alba, I had similar recently. I massaged before feeding too, not just during. Gentle but firm circling motions where it hurts and around. Then take it up again during feeding.
I fed from that side so much that then the other side started hurting... so don't overdo it!

waves

Firstly thanks to everyone who contributed to the straw poll last week: we've plumped for a secondhand Bugaboo Bee :-)

This week's starter for ten is a two-parter on sleep: What to do when your (hitherto successful) bedtime routine suddenly fails? and Is feeding the best way to persuade a wakey baby back to sleep at 3am?

Don't know what's happened recently but C has given up on sleeping. She no longer wants to go to sleep day or night. She's not overtired, but quite happy and smiley, that is, until we start the bedtime routine. She used to love her bath; now she cries every time. We used to put her down wide awake and save one or two dummy runs we wouldn't hear a peep; now we're running up and down stairs six or seven times a night.

But it isn't just getting off to sleep that's the problem. During the night she regularly cries out and frets during her sleep (WDYD?) or else completely wakes up and wants entertaining. Is feeding the only answer?

Answers on a postcard to the usual address...

Hello everyone. I appear to be completely failing to keep up with this thread.

On sleep, I know nothing about bedtime routines yet. I feed to sleep, it's easy and she is only 10 weeks. I've taken to ignoring her a bit in the night though. Sometimes she'll wake a bit and chunter away but if I ignore her she'll go back to sleep. Sometimes she won't and requires a feed. Last night she'd had both sides, a nappy change and another side. Looked sleepy but soon woke up in her cot and was chuntering away. It was 4am, I could not be bothered and she wasn't sounding upset so I ignored her. Next thing I knew it was 7.30am and she was still asleep. Sometimes if they're not upset it's good to try and ignore the noises.

We've been staying at the in-laws, heading home just as soon as she let's go of this boob. It's been lovely. I'll be glad to get home to the cats though.

RHG Gina Ford would no doubt say something different but I go with feeding. They tend to regress a bit at each new thing learned (which they process in sleep and can wake them) and could also be a good old growth spurt. We currently have looong evening feeds.

Meita I'm sick of being told he should go longer between feeds/sleep through already! I've taken to being a tad economical with the truth...

RHG how old is she now? Given the formerly 'good' sleeping I'd also guess growth spurt or 4-months-sleep regression if that's where you're at. If it's that, there isn't much you can do except wait it out.

Agree with Muser that if she is awake but happy there is no need to entertain her.

I am of the conviction that yes, feeding is the best way to get a baby back to sleep at 3am. That said, now at 8 months we are sort of trying to get him to go back to sleep without feeding - it's sooo much harder and more tiring, but hopefully it will mean he won't wake quite so often anymore soon.

If you want to try without feeding, you can try:
-Water instead of milk
-pick up and put down
-not waiting until baby asleep (but go back if she complains)
-daddy goes to settle baby rather than mummy - baby won't expect a feed from daddy. (I was told that some acquaintance did this for a week and then baby slept through. Sounds good. BUT tried it night before last and I. screamed and screamed until DP gave in, and then when DP went to pick him up in the morning I. screamed again, thinking he was again being denied his boob... not a nice experience, and DP got a bit upset because I. was suddenly 'scared' of him)

Regarding the dummy runs, is she able to put the dummy in her mouth by herself yet? You could try distributing 5 or 6 dummies around her head so that when she wakes, she can find one for herself. Or, we have this comforter-toy thing that has a loop to which we can attach the dummy. That way I. just needs to find the toy and then works his way to the dummy. You could also try always putting the dummy into her hand rather than into her mouth. So she relies less on you to put it in.

Ok that's longer than a postcard so will stop now ;)

Dorcas Mastitis is horrible, I do hope you get it sorted before it gets bad. Apparently the best thing to do is to just make sure you empty the area so to speak, with feeding and massaging (expressing if need be). If you get full blown mastitis you will need anti-biotics. One thing I would whole heartedly recommend is savoy cabbage leaves (has to be savoy apparently) tear a leaf off and wash, put in fridge to make nice and cold, remove from fridge, bash the leaf a bit to release whatever it is that it needs to release then put in bra. It will leave a nice pattern on your boob but it is fantastically soothing!!

ah yes I remember now... the 3 wk growth spurt :) And there was me wondering why I had become a human feeding machine all afternoon. (that'll teach me bing all smug at her sleeping all through coffee alba

Mind you a growth spurt wouldn't go amiss for my tiny little lady.

orry can't namecheck, wobbly baby on shoulder. waves to all. :)

Thanks everyone for your sympathy and advice. Been massaging, feeding from it, expressed in shower, but not shifting. Went to doctors to get ab's just in case I need them over weekend and she reckoned it has already developed into mastitis I have got a temperature and feel a bit unwell, although it's hard to tell what's sleep deprivation and what is something more! Was hoping to avoid ab's as don't want to risk thrush again, but looks like I'll have to take them. Will go purchase a cabbage tomorrow too!

Muser, Meita and Alba - thanks for your input ladies. Completely forgot that at 15 weeks she's coming up to that 4 month sleep regression thing. That could be the key; she's definitely exhibiting some new skills, if not quite consolidating them yet. In the last week she's found her (very loud) voice and 'talks' endlessly. She's also started rolling - not succeeding all the time, but trying. I guess we're going to have to see where it goes, whether her routine gets back on track in a week or two. She didn't get upset having her bath tonight which is progress and has now gone to bed with only a couple of dummy runs (I lay down on the bed next to her and read). I forget she's so little still and that going back to basics might be the answer - am so tired I tend to through my hands up in the air and panic.

Meita - love the idea of her putting the dummy in by herself. I really wish she could but it seems she hasn't made the connexion herself. Very good at pulling it out by herself though. The toy is a good idea. I might look into getting a comforter or something similar.

I'm going to see how things go tonight. Fingers crossed we've turned a corner. Thanks once again for all your advice.

I ache all over, am freezing, sore throat and sinuses. Don't think it's my boobs. Please don't let me make J ill. I want to crawl under a rock and die it hurts so much.

Oh TMT, poor you. It's horrible being I'll, but especially when you have a baby to take care of. Is there someone around who can take care of you? I think that the breastfeeding might help J avoid catching it as you'll pass on all the antibodies your body is making. When I had a stomach bug it somehow didn't pass on to Little D, which I was amazed and relieved by.
Take care of yourself love x

Hi everyone

Dorcas hope the sore spot is gone- agree with the advice given- you could also try expressing on that side after a feed and massaging whilst you do to make sure it's properly drained. After 3 bouts of mastitis I'm mega cautious now and express whenever my boobs feel 'lumpy' or still hard after a feed. Last night I had boob confusion in the night and fed N on the same side for 2 feeds. Ended up expressing at 5 am but at least I can give him a bottle later now.

Re sleep I don't really have anything to add- I feed to sleep too but N is just 6 weeks so think he's a bit little to try anything else ( even when he isn't I'm not sure I'll stop). I go for whatever is easiest to be honest- he slept on me for 5 weeks until we had a breakthrough with him in his crib this week. I've found that swaddling him has made a massive difference.

Had our 2nd cranial Osteopath session today so will have to see whether it seems to make a difference with the feeding / sleeping

Damn- iPhone hadn't refreshed so was v behind!
TMT hope yr feeling better soon

Dorcas sorry it had already turned to mastitis and sympathise re the thrush worries- I can always tell it's mastitis re my temp and the fact I shiver uncontrollably- horrible. You can take paracetamol and ibuprofen just in case the dr didn't mention.

Dorcas hope you feel better soon.. great you got your antibiotics now though.

Redheadgal - we had the EXACT same thing with C.. the exact same! It has definitely taken me about 2 weeks and she still isn't back yet but she did end up getting a really bad cold last week.. have had 2 good nights (with 1 feed during night but at least not starting day til 7) but then today she just hasn't fed at all, so so so unlike her, like half of what she usually has. I'm so so worried about her, no dirty nappies either.. I know i need to learn not to worry but it's just so unlike her not to feed. she was in good form though so i don't know.. but anyhow back to the sleep Redhead.. it coincided with C learning to roll over also..

Chat soon xx

TMT, Dorcas, hugs going your way.

Happy, probably she will be catching up with the feeding tomorrow. I know about the worrying though. I keep worrying that the one time I'll say 'oh it's probably nothing' will be when something is really wrong...

Northern cranial osteopath did wonders for us. Hope it works for you too.

Much MUCH better night last night. Sleepycries just once at 12.30 which I managed to calm without feeding and just one other feed at 3.30 after which she went straight back to sleep. Actually I don't know that for sure - I know I went straight back to sleep, but rather think she stayed awake playing with her toes for a while. But so long as it doesn't keep me awake, I don't mind what she does. Feeling so much better though with a bit of sleep!

Pleased to hear this is pretty common and that you've been through it too Happy - hope your C is back on her feed today.

ToomuchT and Dorcas - hope you're both feeling better this morning! So horrible feeling rubbish with a small baby to care for.

Get well soon TMT and Dorcas, don't worry about the little ones, they get all our immunities and recover quicker... And sleep on their own timetables, unlike us!
I feel like I was awake feeding ALL NIGHT... 15 weeks here too so no surprise I supposed [completely exhausted emoticon]
aaagh, nap time over too, I got about 30 mins....
Back to it

Hi!! I really can't keep up!
Spiders are growing up too quickly they are smiling now which just melts my heart and brought tears to my eyes the first time,esepcially as they both smiled one after the other I am alternating between boob and bottle but since doing so their Number 2s are less frequent so we have explosive nappies every 2-3 days!
Meita lovely to read about I. can't believe he is 8 months!
Dorcas how is your ?
lia i introduced bottles during the 3 week spurt to save my sanity!
Royal wave to Happy stuffed Alba Muser Readhead Oooooo the dummy run, yes we have that now and I remember it with DD1. Muser I am with you on the ignoring, although some of my ignoring is a given while I am dealing with one of the spiders........they have been very grumpy this afternoon (aftermath of first jabs I suspect) swaddling seems to have settled them....for now!
Have yourselves a lovely B/H weekend and I will catch up next week!
x