Totally's postgrads - you know who you are.

[Meita]

Totally's original thread was for TTC after MC. It continued long after Totally herself graduated, and is still going strong. Totally's grads was set up as a thread for pregnancy post MC - i.e. anyone who graduated from Totally's thread and anyone else who had experienced MC and was now pregnant. It, too, is still going strong.

Now, more and more of us have graduated from Totally's grads - including LouiseSH, whose Georgie was born asleep. I suppose that makes us postgrads. We have travelled together for a long time and would like to stay in touch, but the pregnancy post MC thread is starting to get very big, and I think it should be allowed to keep its focus on pregnancy post MC. May it be as wonderful a place for support for current "members" as it was for us.

So this thread is a place for us to keep in touch, share experiences, and provide support.

(This is the first time ever I'm starting a thread - hope it works out...)

Blimey Spring no I don't suppose there are. Hope you are feeling better and get a good rest tonight ready for a happy homecoming tomorrow. How're R and DH doing?

Aaah at high chairs Happy and Dorcas. Gosh they're growing up so quick!

Hope everyone had a good day, and good luck all on sleeps tonight!

Goodness Spring that's a rough time you've been through.
Wishing you a speedy recovery

That everyone, feel ok today so can hopefully go home later. Will be a while before I am back to normal though. Alba - managed to avoid the hospital neither of us would choose - private healthcare saved the day. I should, because I am so grateful, urge you all to convince everyone you know to give blood. Without someone very kindly donating I would have been in serious trouble.

Sorry not to name check it's not so easy on the phone.

I meant thanks everyone - oops!

I did wonder where you were Spring. I must admit private healthcare is one monthly expense I'm happy to pay... much as I wish I didn't need to i've been relieved to have it more than once.
Good to hear you're feeling better.

Right, need to call Dr... Sore lump in boob, concerned it might become mastitis and long weekend coming up. The joys of bf'ing!

Have a good one all

Oh gosh Spring, glad you're on the mend... hope you're out soon.

Fingers crossed it's not Alba, wise to get ABs in though before all the bank hols.

Sorry for all the mid night waking going on, in fact that's what I'm after some advice on. To summarise...

Around 9 weeks J started waking up crying because of farting. Obviously uncomfortable, leg pulling, wriggling around etc. Sitting up on my knees and sucking (dummy or me) are the two things that seem to improve it and get her back to sleep.

Rang HV - give her gripe water, she will grow out of it soon.

12 weeks - went to BF clinic, improved latch. This has resulted in less burping, but made no difference to the farting.

Now 13 weeks and last night she slept on me on the sofa all evening. Fed at 10.30 lying in bed with me (we are co-cleeping because I am too tired to keep trying to settle her into her basket - I am not totally happy with this). Woke at 12.50 farting and crying. Settled back to sleep sitting up on me, laid her back down she woke up crying again, so fed her at 1.15. Woke up again 3.00 really crying - cue DH out of bed walking with her screaming, us arguing, tears etc. :( and me feeding her at 3.15. This always settles her back to sleep but as soon as she finished she cried again, so I put her on top of my chest and she fell asleep lying on me around 4am. At 5 or so (after a bit of a doze) I lay her down on the bed. Up at 6.10 for a nappy change and feed. Up again at 7.30.

My questions are... 1) would you take her to the doctor, or will she genuinely grow out of the fart-crying? It has been 5 weeks.

2. Is my feeding her more frequently in the night (we had got down to 10.30, 3.00 and 6.30 but that now feels like a lifetime ago) actually making things worse?

3. Should I try infacol, more gripe water or anything else?

Oh that's not a summary TMT, apologies. But this is seriously pushing me to the edge. DH off work at the moment so it's not so bad, but when he goes back I think we're going to have to sleep apart or he'll be a zombie.

And now the farts have woken her from her nap... I must go! Please share your advice if you can, I am at my wit's end!

Hi TMT a few (completely unqualified, just stuff I've read) ideas... Could J be intolerant to something you eat a lot? X gets dreadful wind if I eat onions. Also broccoli. I read some babies react to dairy, which possibly explains frequency? Though it may of course just be something she'll grow out of. A nutritionist with experience of advising bf mums might help? Also possible probiotics might help? You can get powder form ones for babies (I used with FF DS1 on advice from nutritionist).

Possibly frequent feeding means more foremilk which some books say can make them windier... Trying to get long feeds in the evening might help?

Maybe someone else will be along soon with definitive advice.
Also... get hold of a book called The Food of Love. By somebody Evans I think. I borrowed a copy early on though have given it back now but it answered most queries I had and lactation consultant recommended it. Also try Jack Newman and kellymom websites for bf advice, they may have answers.

Hope that helps [buconfused]

I have my ABs, and thankfully getting better this afternoon and not needing them [touching wood emoticon]
You could cut out dairy from your diet and see if it helps?

How did that last sentence end up at the end? Should have been near the beginning... Thumb typing and feeding with addled Brian... [buconfused] [buconfused]

Oh, and I would see a lactation consultant not a Dr for now. I think you already saw one recently to check on latch? I think they should know best next steps? Huge sympathy on the 3am arguments. Just the worst...

Heya TMT, my SOOL's (sister out-of law, i.e. DP's sister) baby is now over 6 months old and fart-cries all the time (since she was very little). They have a 2-year old as well and are totally at their limits. They are grasping at straws... that included being sent to hospital for 3 days for 'observation'. Result? Nothing at all. They went home with the platitude advice to take turns in the nights so that each parent got to sleep at least a little every second night. And that's in Switzerland, where no intervention is too expensive and people prefer to do anything rather than nothing even if it costs oodles and has uncertain results.
What I'm trying to say, the long way round, is that I don't think a GP nor actually a consultant would be very helpful with the farting. They might be able to help if you think there is something wrong with your LO... however there would have to be other symptoms, in order for you to be properly worried I suppose, and in order for them to be able to deduce anything. Do you feel she is unwell? Every time we took I. to the GP or out-of-hours or even A&E, we were asked if he was feeding ok. If yes -> he's alright (and that is despite, umm, blood in the nappy, blood in the poo, coughing since 6 weeks, and such). So if there is something that makes you worried (not feeding, behaving oddly, being floppy) then by all means see a GP and they should be able to help. But if it is 'only' the farting, I'm afraid they'll probably not be able to do anything.
I don't want to put you off seeing the GP if your intuition points you that way. (Thinking of poor EdgarAleNPie's DS, the first reply to her post was that probably he had ear-glue but tragically, shortly afterwards he died :( ) Trust your instincts ok?

Right... I called the GP yesterday, knowing that in most cases they know nothing about babies (!) to see if I could get an appointment next week. They didn't have anything but did have one yesterday afternoon with a locum, so I went along.

She was lovely and has advised cutting dairy out of my diet. She said most GPs wouldn't say that but she knows it can work from her own experience and friends... so it wasn't quite a medical opinion but perhaps something more sensible!?

I'm going to give it a go... she was happy with J's growth, feeding etc. and thankfully didn't tell me to "give up breastfeeding", "try formula" or "start solids" which is the advice of everyone from my mum to my next door neighbour.

We had a slightly better night last night, I mean feeding at 10.30, 1.30, 3.30, 5.30 and 7.15 but at least no wailing.

Thank you for your words of wisdom Meita, although I hope we're not still going at six months... and if it's not dairy I'll start on the onions and broccoli Alba (glad you're feeling better).

Expecting all quiet now... enjoy the bank holiday weekend.

TooMuch - I have a friend whose baby was very similar to yours. Eventually it was discovered that he was allergic to cow's milk protein. Although I am clearly no expert this does not simply mean cutting out dairy as it's more complex than that. She did get get him seen through her gp so it is worth asking them if she can be tested for food intolerences. I'm certain that if they are really difficult you can just find out where to go privately. I imagine it will be worth the cost for you to find out what's going on. I will speak to my friend and get more details from her for you.

A quick hello on this gorgeous day!

Toomt sorry to hear fartywails have been so awful, really hope you find a solution soon. You will keep a diary of any changes you make to record improvements? I think I will be doing similar but re eczema not digestion.

Poor little scamp. Scaly patches just on his chest / belly. He is so slathered in olive oil I may as well add balsamic and call him a salad. Going to start doing an extra rinse of clothes (just changed from Ecover to Surcare non-bio to see if better) after washing and see if that helps. Suspect is a contact issue as is worse in heat and his front is where he is cuddled against us (warm) and fabric rubbing against skin.

SpringSam hope you are home or home soon and feeling better.

Bloody itouch screen is doing stupid things so that's it from me before I throw it across the room! Forgotten what else I was going to say. Wishing all well xx

Alba hope the s are better today

toomt sorry you're having a tough time- ds1 had 4am fartywails until he was about 7months old so I know how frustrating it is. For us, it was that I was feeding him too much, he no longer needed the dream feed at 10.30 and once we dropped that he was ok- but he was much older than j when we figured that out.
Other foods that might have an effect are strawberries, garlic, caffeine tomatoes, too much fruit juice etc.... It is quite a depressing list, I was looking at it for T's reflux and worked out I'd eaten practi ally everything on the list the day before!!

spring glad to hear youre on the way home- how is r?

Anyone else feeding a lot more in the hot weather? 2am, 4am, 5.30am and constant snacking since here. Either he's hot and thirsty or I've become a human dummy ? On the plus side, blocked duct cleared nicely with no need for anti b's, which I'm happy about.

Hope the dairy free is starting to make a difference TMT?

Gilda I couldn't stand the smell of olive oil on X's cradle cap, I used calendula oil instead (Weleda make it, health food shops likely sell it). might be worth a try? Worked a treat. Also a curious tip I picked up from the nappy lady website is that bio washing powder is sometimes better, provided rinsed well, I think the logic was a more thorough clean and can be at a lower temp. So I never switch to non bio for baby clothes, though do use extra rinse, but may just be down to luck that's been ok for us.

Spring hoping recovery is rapid for you and you're enjoying the end of your girls' holiday.

LurkyBuffy I hope the sunshine is helping lift your spirits. I read the other day winter babies make us more susceptible to PND: mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE73J7NK20110420?irpc=932

hopefully the link works, I just noticed it's a mobile friendly site. Very happy here, got my phone fixed, the screen had kept whiting out and I'm still on contract but not under warranty... And the official fix was nearly £200! unofficial fix from dodgy looking chap at kiosk was so much less I took a risk. On collection, phone completely out of charge so I couldn't check it and his card machine wasn't working so cash only... And he just said it was fixed and couldn't tell me what had been wrong ... I was convinced I'd been taken for a ride and none too happy paying up... But it's all fine! Hurrah!
I think that's my long winded way of saying I share your frustration at dodgy iPhone screens Gilda and hope yours can be easily fixed too.

Happy Easter to all, better get up soon and find all the chocolate I've hidden for DS1... here's to a lovely hyper toddler day!!

Heya,
happy Easter all!

Yes Alba I feel like a human dummy too. Have been giving I. water in cups as soon as he has finished his daily formula measure, and he drinks lots of it. But at night it's breast only and he keeps coming back for more. Always just a few sips though. NCT BF lady told us that means they're thirsty.

waves to all. The sunny weather is definitely cheering me up, hope it's making life a bit easier for everybody else too.

Got a bit annoyed at DSis. She lives with my parents for various reasons, so seeing lots of her at the moment (we're staying at my parents' for Easter). Yesterday I was wiping the floor after lunch, and commented that 'These days, we need to wipe the floor after every meal.' Wasn't even properly complaining, just kind of commenting, in a conversational kind of way. DSis (who used to love babies and kids and always was really good with them but recently has mutated into a childfree by choice advocate and won't even hold I. and keeps making derisive comments about how everyone is going a bit mad about the baby, like when we make faces at him for example) launched into a tirade about how it was our choice to have a baby and when we tried for a baby we knew what it would entail and we took it into account and so had no right to complain. I disagreed and said that just because you choose something, doesn't mean you are not allowed to complain about any of the consequences. I said that if your feet hurt after a day of wearing high heels, you are allowed to complain about sore feet, right? Even though you chose to wear the heels. She said that is not the same thing. And that she never complains about pain when she chose the cause of it.
It just put me off, it felt so aggressive from her. I never criticise her life choices and I have friends who are child free by choice and still I get along with them well... it just felt like she was just waiting for an opportunity to rub it in that it was our baby and she most certainly would have nothing to do with him. It went so far that at one point our mum felt it necessary to say that 'I. is now part of our family and you're going to have to accept that.' Yet somehow DSis imagines that when I. is a teenager he will go to her for advice and comfort when he feels rebellious against his parents...

Anyway, sorry for that moan, just needed a rant. Feeling better already :)

meita families are great aren't they?! Sounds to me like there may be a touch of jealousy there, even if she is childfree by choice now, it sounds from your post that she had considered having them in the past? Could be wrong though...

T been ok in the hot weather- despite me changing his clothes constantly because I can't work out if he's too hot or cold! Today he was just in his vest in the shade at the beach. He had his first bath with ds1 tonight and survived- I just can't believe how quickly the time is going!

Just a quick hello to everyone, i'm shattered for some reason, hope you are all having a hippity-hoppity-egg-stra special Easter

xx

clarea, indeed, families! Though I love mine lots and never see enough of them. I think her decision to be childfree is partially a rational one, down to her feeling barely capable of looking after herself, let alone a totally dependent baby. So yes you could be right that it might to some extent be a jealousy issue.

Ahhh one of my NCT group just announced that she is pregnant again... 13 weeks gone. The age difference between the siblings will be just over 13 months. She is the oldest of our group at now nearly 39 so I can see why they didn't wait about, but still I think they are a teeny bit mad... but then, her post made me feel irrationally broody too! But no. My plan is to definitely finish my PhD before anything else. Afterwards, we can see, but at the moment I think it would be rather nice to eventually adopt a child.

Happy hope you'll feel less tired tomorrow.

Hope everyone will have a relaxed bank holiday week!

Hello all...

What incredible weather... although it has made it come over all insecure about what to dress J in, I hear you clare! Not helped by MIL (we've been to stay) "ooh they've got you all bundled up J, aren't you hot?" Followed by, some three hours later, "poor you with your cold little feet!" Other highlights included "that wasn't a long enough nap for someone who's growing," and I was so bloody happy she'd gone down at all! And "well when did you last feed, hmm... that's not a big enough gap for someone your age"

Notice how all the comments are said directly to J but aimed at me... too annoying.

Still, we had a lovely weekend. And I think we're starting to make some breakthroughs... I think there are fewer farts, although it's very hard to quantify, but they are definitely less stinky, and I think that has to be a good thing. And we can have no crying at all in the night if I feed her as soon as she starts wriggling... but this isn't a long term strategy of course!

I really hope the dairy free does make a difference. Poo this morning was quite clear and mucousy, I think that might be the diet change? We shall see.

Meita I feel for you with your sister, but it does sound like she's a bit jealous if you ask me. Of course choices don't rule out your right to complain, otherwise I wouldn't be allowed to be called toomuchteaching would I!?

Good news on the phone front Alba, dodgy man sounds fun. I'm feeding lots here too, but not for long... didn't help with the MIL! If someone says "cooled boiled water" to me again I think I'll freak out!

Hope you're ok Spring and how are you Buff? Sorry to hear about R's scaliness Gi1da, hope you find a solution soon.

Right, must go out and enjoy the sun, it's bound to be over soon!

Hello all. Sorry I've been in Lurkerville for the past couple of weeks. Really struggling with C's random insomnia and like ToomuchT my strategy of feeding as soon as she wriggles means thankfully no shouts but a lot of time feeding which makes for exhausted mornings and a not-much-fun-mummy. Not really very much actually wrong, just feeling a bit down and knackered. The sun has been fabulous though, as has DH who has done more than his fair share of parenting over the long weekend. I managed to get a couple of hours to myself in the garden this morning and it was wonderful!

Hope you're feeling better SpringSam and that Ruby's back on the boob. Commiserations to all with family-related Bank Holiday flare-ups. Hope the washing powder switch does the trick Gilda and that the non-dairy diet works for you ToomuchT. Hope everyone else is enjoying their chocolate. Waves to Happy, Alba, Meita, Clare, Dorcas and Buffy and welcome to PenguinsMummy!

Hi, what a beautiful bank holiday weekend! I am shattered however, after three days and nights of constant feeding. Growth spurt? Hot weather? Developmental milestones? (Rolling onto side and starting to babble!) God knows but I am exhausted. Have been a bit weepy as well, not sure why, just feel a bit blue. Will probably snap out of it when I have a bit more sleep, whenever that will be!
TMT, glad there is some improvement on the farting, poor little thing. And poor you, having to give up dairy! Not sure I could cope without my lattes and smelly cheese, having finally been able to start having them again The list of things which can give them wind us very depressing, not sure what there is left to eat if you cut it all out. On the other hand, fartywails at three in the morning is a pretty good incentive to do it.
Meita, you have my sympathy regarding arguments with unreasonable siblings! Very annoying... I agree with the others though, sounds like a touch of envy on her part.
Gilda, hope R is improving.
Sam are you back home yet?
alba, great that there was no need for anti-b's.
Redhead good to see you again, sorry you have been having sleepless nights too. It really is one of the hardest things about having a baby, you just don't feel fully human do you, when you are functioning on minimal sleep. It's lovely to be out in the garden though, I did an hour yesterday and it was a nice break!
Baby waking, probably hungry again, better go, waves to everyone else x

Alba in case it happens again, this might be useful; I had the "white screen of death" on my iTouch a while ago, I wonder if it will work the same on the iPhone? Worth a google? The fix is this:
hold home button + volume up button then hold power off button til you see the apple sign
Agree on calendula macerated oil, it's fab stuff, must stock up. Interesting re the non-bio, I will keep on with the Surcare for this box (nappies) / bottle (clothes) unless skin gets worse, and keep going with the extra rinses, if that doesn't work, will try bio.

Toomt [sigh & roll eyes heavenwards] at MIL. I know, I know. "He can't be hungry yet!". Er he's sucking your shoulder like a famished shoulder eating demon so just give him back here will you? Now.
Really hope you're on the road to fart freedom with J and you all get some better sleep soon.

Meita sounds like a case of missing being the centre of attention plus a side order of regret. She sounds sad/lonely. Hope she gets over it and it doesn't spoil the rest of your visit.

Happy Easter all btw.
Started this about 2 hours ago when R was napping. No signs he's going to rest again so giving up to try again later! x

Big waves to Reds and Dorcas oooooooo howlywails

byeeeee