Totally's postgrads - you know who you are.

[Meita]

Totally's original thread was for TTC after MC. It continued long after Totally herself graduated, and is still going strong. Totally's grads was set up as a thread for pregnancy post MC - i.e. anyone who graduated from Totally's thread and anyone else who had experienced MC and was now pregnant. It, too, is still going strong.

Now, more and more of us have graduated from Totally's grads - including LouiseSH, whose Georgie was born asleep. I suppose that makes us postgrads. We have travelled together for a long time and would like to stay in touch, but the pregnancy post MC thread is starting to get very big, and I think it should be allowed to keep its focus on pregnancy post MC. May it be as wonderful a place for support for current "members" as it was for us.

So this thread is a place for us to keep in touch, share experiences, and provide support.

(This is the first time ever I'm starting a thread - hope it works out...)

knickered is faar to sexy a word for it.

Hit with the tired stick, many many times, much more appropriate image

Oh me too... I'm so knackered/knickered. I'm still persevering with the evening routine but it means I'm stuck upstairs on my own and last night it took until 8.30 to get her down. I was so tired I went to bed at 10, and didn't wake her for a feed, so we were up at 1am, then again at 4.15 and 6.30. I think I'd rather just give up on the evenings, keep her downstairs and feed her when I go to bed. But when it works it means we get our evening back. Oh I don't know.

It's so hard to think when you're this tired.

I'm so with you on having a screaming baby delivered to you Gi1da, it's pretty wearing. I think the constantness is getting to me a bit. And I just don't think DH gets that.

Right must dash, attempting to go out in the morning.

Morning all, still no word from the hospital so we're assuming everything is fine. Phoned yesterday to ask and the nurse said she'd try and chase it up, but usually if test results are clear they don't phone. Helpful that.

We're off to stay at my dad's for a couple of days. I'm taking a baby on a plane by myself! A short flight up to Scotland so should all be fine. She's been great this morning and actually went back to sleep after the 7am feed, so I got a shower, breakfast and finished the packing. I fear this means she'll scream for the entire journey to make up for it!

TMT do you have a pram / crib downstairs? We put J down downstairs, have a couple of hours (evenings are quite short around here) and then move him upstairs when i go to bed, around 10 (I try to get an hour or so's relax upstairs before bed; bath, book, quiet alone time etc. It's the best time of the day!). that way we sort of get the best of both worlds - no long putting down stage and a bit of time together (once I've cooked and we've eaten) I am totally with you on the hard to think thing though. my head hurts!

Good news so far Muser, hope no news = good news all the way, and some kind of response from the hospital soon! Have a lovely time away too x

Gilda ((((((big hugs))))))

Growth spurt... Am so tired I could cry. Back on 2 hourly feeds through the night... Evenings? What are they? Either I'm out with X in the sling trying to tame the howlywails or we both go to bed together and I make the most of some unexpected extra rest! I do watch iplayer in bed though, so get a bit of TV relax time. Couldn't manage a book, one page and I'd be asleep.

As for clothes... X Is a great little personal trainer, he likes to be in a sling and moving to fall asleep, so all this walking carrying a heavy weight is starting to show results... Back in my early pregnancy jeans now, though clothes shopping very demoralising, I tried on one size too big stuff and it was very tight and I looked dreadful . We'll all get there in the end, I think last time I gave up worrying and suddenly it just kind of happened.

Clare (or should that be coatrack! That made me laugh), I'm in awe of your evening out! I'm planning to pop out to see my NCT group from last time at a dinner meet up soon, but probably with the sling on, mid one of my evening 'get the baby to sleep workouts', so will only stop for a drink, for as long as he'll let me...

Muser glad it's no news is good news from the hospital (though agree it would be a lot better to have confirmation). Good luck with your journey. I'm sure you've heard before, but feeding during takeoff and again as you descend is very helpful to stop baby's ears hurting with the pressure change. Not quite sure how you feed with seatbelt on though ? Have a lovely break.

Waves to everyone else... Hope you're all getting more sleep than me!

Oh Alba huge hugs all round. Sounds like there's a gang of us in the same knickered boat atm. Come and join the (mummy) howlywails club

Hi, I'm also in the knickers boat and howlywails club. Little Dorcas has been inconsolable the last few days, nothing sea to settle her for very long, other than long walks in the pram. Is this a growth spurt? She's six weeks. It's so hard to tell, she is only quiet when I breastfeed her but is this a comfort thing? She had a bottle of expressed milk not too long ago. Breastfeeding now out of desperation as I can't bear the heart wrenching wails. Feel like I'm getting this all wrong!
Coatracks, I didn't even realise it had done that- but gave me my first laugh in a few days!
Muser, sounds good, hope you get confirmation soon.
TMT I agree, it is hard to think when tired, although as Unbuffy says, how come just a little bit more sleep makes you more tired. After an evening of wailing little Dorcas slept from half twelve to six last night and I swear I've been slurring my words today, I'm so tired I can't even be bothered to speak properly.
Gilda, glad your bil is ok, very scary for you all.
Hi everyone else x

Nothing seems to settle her, not sea to settle her, although anything's worth a try...

dorcas yes 6 weeks is growth spurt time. also it's the tip of the 'indeterminate crying' curve - things should be getting better from here onwards.

waves to all.

I just had to go to DSS's 6th form parents evening... On ten minutes' notice. He'd told none of us his appointment times... Not a single check for what would suit, just the general letter home months ago. I think he was trying to get out of it.. So both his father and mother were out of town at work... He told me with ten minutes to go to needing to leave the house. Thankfully just at the end of a feed. Was somewhat uncomfortable trying to settle a tired baby whilst discussing A levels in a sleep deprived state, but we got through it with minimal wailing. I need a very large glass of wine and a long sleep now, I guess I must make do with a few sips and a nice cup of tea...

Hang in there Dorcas, it gets better... Can't remember when but it does get better... But they continue to try your patience at times pretty much forever!

So last night I took her up at 7.15, by 8.30 supper was ready and she still wasn't asleep so I left her in her basket. About 5 minutes later DH had to go up as she was crying. I ate, then went up, he ate. At 9.15 I came down, 5 minutes later she was crying. DH sat with her for a while, I took over at 9.30. At 10 she was still awake so I fed her... asleep at 10.15. Which is fine but DH and I spent zero time together and we might as well have not bothered with the "routine". But everyone is telling me to persevere with it. I don't know, after three or four nights of getting our evening back when she went down at 8 this is now the exact opposite. And we're back to waking up at 1am and 4am then up at 6am. So it's not giving me a decent long sleep either.

PS you'll get there dorcas and alba our students regularly try to wriggle out of sixth form parents' eve, well done for getting there! Fingers crossed muser and waves to meita and gi1da.

Thanks TMT good to know not just him.
As for routine I know some people swear by early routine. My experience is no sooner it starts to work their patterns change again. I'm chucking out the books and going with the flow this time and it's much better for my stress levels, the worst bit is being told I'm making a rod for my own back but it's easier so far than it was with DS1. Trust what you want to do. If that's routine then go for it, if not, don't feel bad doing what suits.

Have just (pump) expressed milk for the first time ever! This is all part of the plan to get at least one good night's sleep - once dh comes off nights - and potentially i can then go OUT for longer spells and so on... Fingers crossed... We've been wittering about it for a while now and this morning spotted a very good deal in Tescoloids; pump, bottle, steriliser etc for £13 - bargain and if it don't work it's not a huge outlay so not too much pressure

TMT if it's not working for either of you give it a little break. It's very isolating for you and exhausting and frustrating by the sound of it, take it easy on yourself. It'll come. Even if you have just a night off, it's got to make you more relaxed, which helps EVERYTHING!

Dorcas 6 weeks is a tough time, everything's still so new and they are growing so fast, but it will pass. How are the OOs?

Waves to Gilda, Alba, Meita and Clarea, and everybody I've missed
xxx

Just took ds1 to tots tennis- first solo car trip with both boys . Couldn't get the car seat out of the base AT ALL. We've fitted it on the opposite side to the one we had it on with ds1 and I just couldn't so it that way round. cue much swearing. Ended up just carrying ds2 which was fine. Got home and tried the car seat again when I got home and got it out first time! Grrrr

unbuffy congrats on the pumping action
toomt I second what alba says if j is just fighting the routine too much then maybe take a step back for a bit and try again in a few weeks. Ds1 was really awake in the evenings so we kept him in his pram in the sitting room in the evenings and then gradually moved his bedtime earlier.

Went to the docs this morning about ds2's sticky eye but he wouldn't give me anything, said it would clear up. Ds1 had a blocked tear duct and had to have 3 operations to sort it out so I'm a sticky eye expert and just hope ds2 doesn't have the same problem!
He did give me some cetraban to use as a soap for his spots though, so not a totally wasted trip...

Quick question- for those of you using formula which brand have you chosen? I want ds2 to try a bit so he is ok in case of emergencies if needed...

So now I just have to convince him to drink from a bottle... hmm...

unbuffy have someone else give the bottle, you not being in sight. (i know, i'm not best qualified on this topic - I. still won't drink from any bottle...)

clarea we sort of randomly chose SMA. only because that's what he was given at a&e when he was starving, and we thought he was going to need formula all the time. so bought a box of the powder. as it turned out, we never opened the box until he was oh... about 5 months old.

for trying something out i'd go with a ready made box. then if it doesn't find approval, you're not stuck with a whole box of powder to use up.

Hi Everyone, hope all well this evening. Ruby has her own little routine which we are just going with at the moment. I've made vague attempts to persuade her to sleep in her crib in the evening but she really doesn't like it and I'm not into leaving her to cry. I can't bear it. Currently she is soundly asleep on my side of the bed and I'm feeling quite drowsy on DH's side. Don't kno what he's going to do later!!! Sorry to hear from those who are sleep deprived. Co-sleeping has really worked for us and so I get good sleep. I have bought the no crying sleep solution book, I do like it and I will start to use done of the ideas I think. We're also thinking about weaning - Ruby's five months now. Haven't really done anything yet apart from read about it. That said we gave licked an apple and played with a banana.

I'm having further trouble with the cyst that I grew in pregnancy. I've had some pain today and may end up having surgery this weekend. Going to see the consultant tomorrow. I'm terrified and have never had an anaesthetic before. It's also a logistical nightmare as Ruby won't feed from anything other than me and I won't be able to feed her until the anaesthetic is out of the milk. It also means two weeks without driving. I'm really frightened about the whole thing.

Sorry for the me me post. Thinking of you all with your various ups and downs, SB x

that earlier was typed one-handedly whilst I. chewed the TV remote control... ;)

it's been quite a day. nothing particular happened, except a number of enormous poos... but somehow I'm exhausted.

had I. weighed this morning. he's now 18lb 8oz. But that was just after one of those forementioned massive poonamis...

we had pancakes for dinner. yummy :) this BLW thing is good fun!

now the house is a pit, washing up not done, dirty nappies lying around... but right now I'm just going to sit and veg out for a while. will think about clearing up when DP comes back.

oh Sam x-posted, sorry to hear about your worries. I've often thought about what would happen if for whatever reason I couldn't feed I. as he too won't take milk from anywhere except my boobs...

I guess at the end of the day, if they'd get desperately hungry, they would take the bottle. So I don't doubt they would survive. But it would be really really tough for everyone... hoping the best for you, fx you don't need surgery or at least not right now.

Thanks for your message Meita. I don't need urgent surgery but I do need it in the next few weeks . I've got enough time to stock the freezer up with milk and to try to find a cup or bottle that Ruby will drink from. Everyone was really nice but I still don't want to be operated on.

SamB have you seen these? www.mothercare.com/Medela-Calma-150ml-Bottle/dp/B003VKWOVE

I'm not recommending it from use, I was just looking for something to introduce Jemima to since I still haven't got round to introducing a bottle and thought this might be good. Just a thought. Good luck getting ready for the op, definitely a stress you don't need.

Three crying questions from me...

1. Does anyone else hear phantom crying when there is white noise? It's worst when I'm in the shower, I honestly think I hear her constantly. Today I resorted to taking the baby monitor in with me, and even when I could see no lights I could still hear her. Thankfully when it's silent it doesn't happen, otherwise I'd think I was losing my mind. Anyone?

2. The last 3 baths we've given J have been great, until we get her out, and then she has started screaming. Not crying or even howlywailing, but screaming. The kind that makes me come running up the stairs making me think she's in pain. It is really highpitched and so loud. She only calms when I feed her. Any ideas? Is it just her getting cold? Or a phase? It is truly horrific and has made me cry.

3. J cries when she farts. She doesn't like any bodily functions if I'm honest but she really doesn't like farting. This is ridiculous as it wakes her up! Just her?

Glad you're enjoying BLW Meita.

Thanks all for the routine advice - I gave up last night, she slept on me downstairs, I got to watch Masterchef, woke her for a feed at 10.15 and we only had one wake up at 3.15. So much better. We'll try again with the routine some time soon I'm sure.

Hope you've got the bottle going unbuff.

Oh poo number 3 just arrived. I suppose it was to be expected after another 48hour break.

Good luck SamB, I'd be worried too if I were you. Hope it's straightforward and quick recovery.
Re bottles, we've always used tommee tippee, they were the only ones DS1 would take when I had to stop feeding and X was fine with them when we supplemented.

Clare we used cow and gate for DS1. It seems to be exactly the same as aptimil (same manufacturer) but cheaper... I've since read amusing threads on here saying it 's all marketing. Cow and gate established brand for target formula feeding group (they'll have grown up on it themselves) and aptimil sounds a but more scientific, less mumsy packaging and is 'middle class milk', hence higher price tag!!
At the time they were the only ones with prebiotics and omega 3 fats, though I think other brands include them now too, so probably not much to choose between them all.

Can't do more namechecking, sorry, hectic day yesterday visiting the office and off to centerparcs tomorrow for long weekend and I need to find brian to make sure I don't forget something essential that I can't buy there, like my phone charger.... So I'm procrastinating and on MN instead....

Good luck SamB, I'd be worried too if I were you. Hope it's straightforward and quick recovery.
Re bottles, we've always used tommee tippee, they were the only ones DS1 would take when I had to stop feeding and X was fine with them when we supplemented.

Clare we used cow and gate for DS1. It seems to be exactly the same as aptimil (same manufacturer) but cheaper... I've since read amusing threads on here saying it 's all marketing. Cow and gate established brand for target formula feeding group (they'll have grown up on it themselves) and aptimil sounds a but more scientific, less mumsy packaging and is 'middle class milk', hence higher price tag!!
At the time they were the only ones with prebiotics and omega 3 fats, though I think other brands include them now too, so probably not much to choose between them all.

TMT I do the hearing things in the shower... Solution, X on changemat in sight. He's happy there thankfully.
And he screams with the bath sometimes. Weird, no idea why...

Can't do more namechecking, sorry, hectic day yesterday visiting the office and off to centerparcs tomorrow for long weekend and I need to find brian to make sure I don't forget something essential that I can't buy there, like my phone charger.... So I'm procrastinating and on MN instead....

How did that happen? I didn't think it posted first time.... Better than losing it I suppose........

Now, where's brian when you need him?.....