Totally's postgrads - you know who you are.

[Meita]

Totally's original thread was for TTC after MC. It continued long after Totally herself graduated, and is still going strong. Totally's grads was set up as a thread for pregnancy post MC - i.e. anyone who graduated from Totally's thread and anyone else who had experienced MC and was now pregnant. It, too, is still going strong.

Now, more and more of us have graduated from Totally's grads - including LouiseSH, whose Georgie was born asleep. I suppose that makes us postgrads. We have travelled together for a long time and would like to stay in touch, but the pregnancy post MC thread is starting to get very big, and I think it should be allowed to keep its focus on pregnancy post MC. May it be as wonderful a place for support for current "members" as it was for us.

So this thread is a place for us to keep in touch, share experiences, and provide support.

(This is the first time ever I'm starting a thread - hope it works out...)

Hi all, we're back! Had a lovely 2 days at my dad's and the journey went really well. I am now totally in love with my sling. Not only was it a lifeline for getting on/off the plane, but when she wouldn't nap during the day I popped her in the sling and out like a light.

We never did hear back from the hospital so I'm going to presume she didn't have a UTI after all. I am really quite pissed off that they didn't contact us.

Oh, I have the Medela Calma bottles. Only tried one but she took to it right away and drained the tiny amount I'd expressed in a depressingly short time. I didn't want her to see a bottle as an easy option so I like that she has to work for it the same way she would on the boob.

samb sorry to hear you have to have the op- I understand how worried you must be. One of my friends who is bfing has had to have a couple of operations, her lo wouldn't take a bottle either, so I'll ask her for a few tips for you. I know he did take the bottle in the end, but she was incredibly upset by it at the time- big hugs.

toomt fart crying totally normal. Ds1 used to wake up every night at 4am to fart. He would cry in pain until picked up, would fart, then go back to sleep. Used to drive me bonkers. Basically their digestion system is very young and so they often over strain in order to go...
Crying after bath- hmmm, is she cold? She could be over tired and hungry from it, baths absolutely wear them out. You could try split feeding, giving her one boob before bath and then the other afterwards?
Hearing things also totally normal! You have now got bat like hearing which is super sensitive and I bet you wake up instanty when she cries while it takes dh longer?? The hearing things does gradually get better, I promise.

Had ds2's week check today, he is weighing a chunky 11lbs- no wonder the size1 nappies are leaking!! He's fed every 2 hours during the day today, hello 6 week growth spurt-arrgh!

muser at hospital for putting you through all that. But glad she is happy and healthy. Well done on the solo plane trip!!!

TMT,

1. yes, I hear 'voices' i.e. baby crying in white noise too. I frequently have to check with other people present, and when I'm alone I go make sure just to be sure...
2. yes, I. cries like mad after baths. Sometimes. Have you tried what happens if you do bathtime earlier in the day? Baby swimming classes, afterwards when everyone is getting dry and dressed - lots of crying all round!
3. We don't have fart crying but SOOL (sister out-of-law, DP's sis) has with her DC2. The little girl farts all the time. And accordingly screams lots.

Muser, glad it seems to be good news!

SamB hope you can get the bottle thing sorted. You could also consider trying cups.

Alba enjoy your break!

ClareA happy growthspurting ;)

Gosh a whole new way of posting messages. It has clearly been a while.

I also hear babies crying in white noise, although I've also managed to mistake a dog barking and a chicken squawking for my daughter crying . Our baby monitor transmits noise from the back of the house (where C sleeps) to the front room and I frequently mistake the neighbour's dog for her crying.

Had my first night out by myself last night. I'd been expressing since Tuesday to make sure I didn't leave DH short. The greedy guzzler drank over 300ml - although I have absolutely no idea whether that's a lot or not since you don't see quantities when bf. Anyway, since I upped demand I now have increased supply so I'm supplementing my maternity pay by setting up a cottage industry making ice-cream stockpiling some in the freezer.

sam - sorry to hear you're going to need an op and hope you manage to encourage Ruby to take a bottle.

muser - so pleased there's no infection, but think they really should have contacted you to put your mind at rest.

Alba - hope you and brian are reunited and have a lovely weekend together

waves to Gilda, Toomt, Clare and Buffy - hope you guys are doing well.

hi ladies, sorry been away 3 week growthspurt so feeding about every hour then dealing with many a exploding nappy due to massive milk consumption......Redhead I am up for the ice cream bizniz too now my supply is up......I bought new nursing bras on Sat which now doesn't fit Hoping will regulate itself soon enough I don't have time really to express the excess off to freeze as I would literally have no time to mumsnet do anything!

Muser glad all is well and you had a lovely time at your dads, that the hospital didn't contact you though.

Alba have a lovely weekend.

Sam have you tried cup feeding as Meita suggested? Could try a doidy cup? Sorry to hear that you need to have an op, try not to be frightened but I totally understand I was petrified of 'going under' when I had my ERPC but it really wasn't that bad, you will close your eyes and then you will be awake. x

LOL to fart crying - mine do that as did DD1! Bless them.

..........need to feed and battery on craptop about to die.......will drop back later to finish off!

Have a lovel sunny day!

x

Crikey there are a lot of posts to catch up on! We've had a better day here today, DD seems a bit more settled, although struggling a bit with wind. Must remember to use the infacol! It has been quite a tough week, topped off by me coming down with a stomach bug and constant runs yesterday, bleurgh... Feeling much better today though.
Unbuffy the OOs are better thanks, although i have had so many setbacks with breastfeeding I am not thinking too far ahead and taking it one feed at a time.
Muser, glad you have the all clear but very annoying not to be told directly. Also, what sling are you using?
SamB, sorry to hear about your surgery, hope you get something sorted out for the feeding so you don't have that to worry about.
Hi to everyone else x

Today has been awful. Full on screaming whenever she wasn't feeding. Think she's a bit distressed as there have been an absence of dirty nappies. I am desperate for her to go to sleep.

I'm using a Kari-me stretchy wrap sling. I love it. I also have a Babyhawk Mei Tai which is more structured. That's good for out and about, the Kari-me is good for every day as you can leave it on and pop the baby in and out as needed.

Trying to post from phone while feeding - it's been a long day at magictowers, DT2 has just cried pretty much all day to be fed and only slept after I topped up with a bottle or laying on me. Can't wait for DH to get in from work I feel wrecked! Sorry you have had a rubbish day muser I hope you get some shut eye tonight. Hope you feel better soon dorcas there are some horrible bugs about at the mo everyone seems to be getting it :(

Hi all, my little boy was born last Wed, have finally posted my birth story on the pregnancy thread and thought it was time I made the leap over here. I haven't been able to catch up on the whole thread, will try to at some point, although not sure when I'll ever get chance. Am finding bf really difficult on one side and have mastitis, but hoping to fix the latch issues - am getting lots of help from midwives and have antibiotics for the mastitis- so heading in the right direction.

SamB sorry to hear you may have to have an op. I also had a cyst identified at the scan but so far no issues with it- fingers crossed it stays that way. Hopefully for you this will be the end of it though as remember it causing you quite a bit of pain.

northern so sorry you have mastitis, that's really horrid. Although midwives helpful, in my experience they aren't always that good on feeding issues. I used a postnatal doula and lactation consultant this time, their tips and tiny tweaks to how we were getting latched on made ALL the difference. If you have a local breastfeeding clinic you may find qualified help. Otherwise you can find lactation consultants here. hang in there and best of luck. I fed through two bouts of mastitis (thankfully didn't get as far as needing anti biotics) and struggled with weight loss (took 5 weeks to regain birth weight) but my little one is thriving and I'm now finding breastfeeding the easiest thing ever. But with my first I only had the midwife visits, it went rapidly downhill and I ended up stopping and switching to formula. It's possible DS1 had an undiagnosed toungue tie, i'll never know for sure, but it does seem like the extra help made all the difference this time, and I'm not so concerned on the health benefits (DS1 thrived) but the convenience is great and I really enjoy feeding now. Best of luck!

Hi Northern good to see you over here - but sorry you're having a tough time. I had mastitis at day 5 too - it was hellish so my heart goes out to you - espcially as the advice on how to get it better is to keep feeding through it - ouch, am wincing at the memory, and I was on a load of painkillers for the c-section!
I found the antibiotics started to help within 36 hours, and the temperature went by then too. I used a breast pump to help clear the boob when I just couldn't face feeding from it. Lots of hot showers and compresses too.
Glad you are getting lots of help - breastfeeding IS hard and very unglamorous - but if it's right for you it does get easier in time. Best of luck with it x

toomt meant to say... if any of your neighbours have the same monitor sometimes you can pick up their babies on yours as they are on the same frequency!

Welcome northern! I also had massive problems with breastfeeding, stemming from a posterior Tongue tie that went undiagnosed for four weeks. Breastfeeding was so painful and a complete nightmare if I'm honest, not what I expected at all. Seven weeks on and I am still breastfeeding and I think (touch wood) there is improvement. I would highly recommend a lactation consultant, she was the one who spotted the Tongue tie, none of the midwives or bf counsellors ever did. It'snot worth weeks of pain trying to find out the issue if it is something easily resolvable. Also, keep posting on here for support, it kept me going.
Hi everyone else, hope you have great weekends. DP is working a 6 day week so just me and DD again. Bit pissed off. As much as I love her, it is easier when he is around and I can enjoy little luxuries like an uninterrupted shower or even some dinner! As they get older do they start liking being put down for longer spells?

dorcas, with I. it's a day by day thing - some days he can play all by himself on his mat for up to 15 minutes. some days I lay him in his cot for a nap and he dozes off all by himself. then, other days (as in, currently) it's like, as soon as I sit him down on the playmat he starts looking for me... won't let me go, holds on, clings, and if I do leave, he starts screaming immediately. Maybe he's teething or something... but what I want to say is, there's no hard rule.

We had quite an eventful day (in baby terms) yesterday :) Went to our TinyTalk signing class. This includes some time when the babies get to play with 'instruments' (rattles and such) and also some time when there are toys.

So, during instrument time, I. was having lots of fun with his rattle. Until an older boy (11 months, to I.'s 7) took it away from him. Until now, this wouldn't have bothered him much - he would have just picked up something else. But this time he got really upset. He tried to get it back (but was at a disadvantage as he can't yet crawl) and then started to cry, whilst reaching for 'his' rattle... later on, during toys time, again an older baby took away his toy, and it was as if something had gone 'click' in his mind - a minute later he was trying to take a smaller baby's toy! That smaller baby's mum didn't approve... shooed him away... he got distracted with other toys. Someone brought me my cup of tea which is kind but always a bit of a handicap (have to be very careful with hot drinks around babies, especially the crawling kind). So obviously while I was juggling teacup and trying not to be a danger to the babies, I. went after the other baby's toy again. The mum shot me some very disapproving looks whilst fending him off. And then he toppled over (from sitting) and hit his head on something - cue massive wailing. I think some people there must have thought I'm a terrible mum - not restraining my child from taking others' toys and not looking after them well enough to prevent them getting hurt... oh dear...

Oh, he's changing and growing up so fast! I know it is a silly thing to say, but it's true all the same - enjoy your little ones while they are still little! I mean, I love how I. is today, but I do already miss him as a newborn too, IYSWIM. (don't miss the feeding every three hours though)

We bought stairgates at the NN sale today... he can already move backwards, and turn in circles on his tummy, won't be long until he will be under my feet all the time!

Ohhh and welcome and congratulations Northern!

waves to everyone else - sorry no namechecking - DP and baby keeping me busy!

welcome northern- great to have you here

samb thinking of you with ur op

magic hope you and twins are well

sorry i haven't been on much, we are away in ireland at the minute. C doing well, but find she gets bored quite easily at the moment and worry i'm not entertaining enough for her.

ooooh, can't keep up!

Welcome Northern, hello everyone else! Can't really stop as 4 days-worth of poo keeps appearing at no notice today... Don't you just love 'em?

Pass around the s and back soon!

Sorry, just realised what a moany post I wrote, I am always coming on here and whinging about something! I'm not really that miserable, honest. I think I am still adjusting to motherhood! I knew it would be hard, but I never knew it would be this hard. Feel guilty even writing that, I do love her and wouldn't change a thing but it is hard getting used to being needed twenty four seven.
It has been a particularly hard week though, probably not helped by the fact that it is exactly a year ago that I was miscarrying my first LO.
God this is sounding like another moan. I am actually feeling a bit brighter than this morning. Went to a cafe, had a coffee and read 'what mothers do when it looks like nothing' which made me feel loads better. Anyone else read it?
And thanks Meita, it's good to hear what other people's experiences are like. I think half the problem is I just don't have a clue what is normal and I worry I'm getting it all wrong!

I've been reading that book dorcas, I thought it was good. Really said a lot of what I'm feeling at the moment. I'm very lucky as I have a pretty placid baby, she just wants to feed a lot. But that makes me feel a bit useless at times as if you ask me what I do all day it's "I sit on the sofa and feed her for hours at a time".

samb heard back from my pal - she found the only bottle her lo would take was the medela special needs bottle, and then was able to eventually move him onto normal medela bottle. She didn't try the calma, but it could be a slightly cheaper option to try first?

dorcas whingeing totally allowed! we all desperately wanted our babies and worked so hard to get them, that you can feel guilty for finding it tough. I think you'd have to be a complete saint to love every second of it though! Just keep telling yourself it DOES get easier... and soon you'll be wanting another one!!!

Meita LOL at I's antics at tiny talk! ignore the other mums, their babies will be grabbing things soon enough - in fact you should just look at them in a very smug way and say "he's VERY advanced for his age!"

Thanks everyone for the welcome and the advice on bf. Ive been trying the biological nurturing' method which is way better re the latch ( although still not perfect when I look at my nipples after) but at least it's not excruciating. My midwives have really tried to help, suggesting different positions and watching the latch- they've also looked at him sticking his tongue out and don't think he's tongue tied although the midwife who came last did mention getting him checked for posterior t tie and suggested where to go where someone could check so will go on thurs. Currently feeding so struggling with one hand typing- will check back when I can

Quick one - Is anyone else completely clumsy at the moment? I am a nightmare! Bumping into things, dropping things- arrgh have just spilt a drink again- am a walking health hazard....

Clare It's similar to pregnancy clumsiness... Just as we'd got used to all that extra weight out front, it's gone again. Centre of gravity issues....
That and sleep deprivation...

I find I'm thinking one thing and saying something else, eg asking DS1 if he wants to do his new postman pat jigsaw (it's fireman Sam.,,). Can be very embarrassing at times... Anyone else, or am I just losing my mind?