Totally's postgrads - you know who you are.

[Meita]

Totally's original thread was for TTC after MC. It continued long after Totally herself graduated, and is still going strong. Totally's grads was set up as a thread for pregnancy post MC - i.e. anyone who graduated from Totally's thread and anyone else who had experienced MC and was now pregnant. It, too, is still going strong.

Now, more and more of us have graduated from Totally's grads - including LouiseSH, whose Georgie was born asleep. I suppose that makes us postgrads. We have travelled together for a long time and would like to stay in touch, but the pregnancy post MC thread is starting to get very big, and I think it should be allowed to keep its focus on pregnancy post MC. May it be as wonderful a place for support for current "members" as it was for us.

So this thread is a place for us to keep in touch, share experiences, and provide support.

(This is the first time ever I'm starting a thread - hope it works out...)

Dorcas what an amazing job you're doing. I hope you can get the Tongue tie sorted soon and that it all gets easier for you.

I hope feeding is going better for you now Lotta

Fab birth story Muser! Definitely go for the homebirth next time - and get Lia as your doula, she's wonderfully calm and really made me feel safe and in control... And since the midwife left us to it (I also did the natal hypnotherapy, so wasn't screaming and yelling so she implied this meant no progress) there was absolutely no question of what I was 'allowed' to do or not... With DS1 in hospital they didn't believe me when I said I needed to push, till they examined me. This time I didn't have a midwife to tell me, it was a case of going with it... And with a much bigger baby it was a great deal easier, quicker and a lot less damage!

Hmm I'm banging on about my own birth story there... I think we all feel the need to keep on revisiting our experiences, and as for you saying you didn't really experience birth, Gilda, you absolutely did! I'm sure you said you were contracting for a lot longer than I was, and coping admirably with a baby in a difficult position, I think an EMCS is a much more difficult birth and all you girls who went through that have all my respect. I was incredibly lucky, I had it easy. You did the full on birth experience! Mine just popped out, I feel almost like I cheated, though I'm hugely thankful I got off so easily.

Clare your reminder about the 6 week development surge makes so much sense. We suddenly have a little boy who's doing loads but getting terribly overtired in the evening, and if not caught in time gets hysterical. I'm trying to be vigilant, but easy to overlook when DS1's tea and bath and bedtime come around, and the baby suddenly goes from angelic to red bawling monster.... Poor little chap. I resorted to a brisk walk up and down the road with him in the baby bjorn this evening. Works every time and the yelling doesn't sound so awful once we're outside.
Sainsbury's??? Are you mad?! I have avoided supermarkets so far, but do have shopping centre on my doorstep so can get away with little and often shopping and DH does Sainsbury stockups every fortnight.

TMT I hear you on not relaxing with co-sleeping. It took me a while to gain confidence and it's certainly not as restful as sleeping on my own... But for me, I prefer more lower quality sleep. Having to sit up to feed (or worse, get up to make bottles) I find more of a killer.

I'm also suffering from the dreaded coughs and sneezes. DS1 had a nasty cold a week ago, and gave it to us all. DH first who was really quite poorly (seemed very genuinely so, not just man flu) and then X got it, poor chap, I resorted to expressing and bottle feeding yesterday as at one point either his throat was too sore or he had no energy to suck properly (bottle with fast flow teat much easier), and now I have it. We had a duvet day yesterday. Slowly improving today and thankfully DH is better so he and my mum can look after us.

Right, calm sleeping baby. Time to try to drop off myself... Night all.

Thanks Alba all our experiences are so different, or should that be unique? Re supermarket trips, I took DS and thought it would be a nightmare but he was in his sling and started off mesmerised by all the lights, then fell fast asleep. He's even slept through Bluewater, though what I find disturbing there is that people there seem so gormlessly zombified they bump right into you, really annoying when carrying a little one!

I can't recommend a sling enough, if any of the new mums don't have one - get thee shopping right now!

POO STAINS am I the only mum incapable of getting poo stains out? I've been passed on baby clothes which have even gone through more than one child and they are still pristinely white, I have them for two weeks and they look like they've been tie died with saffron! I still need to get a line up in the garden, but other than sunshine is there anything else I am doing wrong? Cold soaking poonamied clothing and washing in 'eco' non-bio liquid with a splash of white vinegar for softener. The '' is because we went from ecover to a supermarket 'green' own-brand and it's eco my arse iykwim. Since we've gone from frequent poos to one a day or every other day explosions it always escapes and festoons at least one layer of clothing.

Ps did anyone else read 'letter to a lost baby' in the family section of the grauniad yesterday? I cried for ages after reading but thought it was very touching. Welling up thinking about it now.

Hi all- gi1da I think having lived through what wax it? 30 hours of contractions?? You experienced labour! There is nothing you could have or should have done differently, we are incredibly lucky to have medical help on hand should we need it. Ds1 and I would have died were it not for the fact that I was lucky enough to be in a developed country. I now support the White ribbon alliance which helps train midwives and improve labour wards in poorer countries

On another note, has anyone seen dara o'briains latest stand up DVD? Does a very funny section on nct and labour!

Poo stains- I cheat and use vanish immediately on poo stains and then soak until I put a wash on... Can't shift them with non bio!!

alba I mainly went to sainsburys on the promise of a quiet 30 mins in Starbucks with the paper and a posh coffee

dorcas and toomt how are you doing?

Ah yes Clarea I certainly get the badge for contractions... Friday afternoon to Monday morning... that bit I was good at!

Oooh I am on tenter hooks for Magic. Have been excited for everyone's labours, but particularly keen to hear all done and well for double baba-ness. Go Magic Ra Ra Ra [waves pom poms]

how can I cough without moving?? very overtired baby finally fell asleep in my arms after major howlywail session, daren't wake him... and have a very very tickly throat... really really want to cough!!!

wondering how Unbuffy and RHG and anyone else who hasn't posted in last few days are doing?

one handed typing so short one from me... need some throat sweets... but don't have any in the house and I can't move anyway................

News from magic on the preg thread let's shuffle up to make room for the newest arrivals!!!

alba I was bfing last night whilst watching the aforementioned dara o'briain DVD and laughing so much ds must have had a milkshake he was being shaken so much! Ps love the term howlywail!

I can't take credit for howlywail... but agree it's a perfect descriptor for those impossible moments...
twas thought up by Gilda, or was it Unbuffy, or maybe TMT??

which reminds me, where has brian gone??

I'm doing ok thanks Clareanna, feeding is still painful but I am keeping going with the aid of painkillers and much gritting of teeth. That and looking down at my daughter and remembering how lucky I am. (Just seen magic's lovely news and it has made me go all soppy). Mind, none of these things are guaranteed to work at 3am when I am sleep deprived and feel like I have a baby crocodile at my boob! Hope everyone else is doing well.

Gilda I googled that letter (very long feed in progress)... now have tears streaming.

it's here if anyone else wants a read but have the tissues handy

on a lighter note, DH does our laundry (he's a star)... not entirely sure if he soaks poo stains, but possibly not. Secret of getting them clean probably the regular bio powder (I stopped protesting when i read something on the nappy lady website about it being fine for babies)

Hi all.

We're going through another period of 'I don't believe in sleep' here, hence lack of posts. Every 2 hours waking, then feeding for 20mins or so. So that's an hour and a half sleep before the next one... and the next one... and the next one.
Also labour flashback nightmares, and lots of 'what ifs' and 'could we have done it another ways' and that sort of thing, making it hard to sleep. Anyone else have this post-cs?

Lots of crying all round.

Poo stains seem to come out with fairy - eco is great but not so great for flurescent (I know, i know, but spelling is just no go atm!!) poo.

I'm not responsable for the howlywails word, we just call it the ballistics! Every evening! Argh!

Very excited about Magic's news, cheered me up lots!

Well I just tried something new, I've lost count of the number of places I'm supposed to squirt my breastmilk... J developed a bit of conjunctivitis over the weekend and I've been using cooled, boiled water but read on MN that breastmilk is good. So I've just finished a feed a then expressed a few drops onto cotton wool balls for wiping... motherhood's so unglamorous! It was surprisingly hard, I haven't expressed yet because a) HV advised to wait until 6 weeks and b) she doesn't give me very long between feeds as it is, I'd just be a total milk machine. Anyway, was surprised by how difficult it was.

Think we've turned a corner in the illness stakes, although DH and I still unwell. Just keeping my fingers crossed J's nearly there.

Six week check on Wednesday, time flies.

Great magic news, I'm a little bit jellybags about facebook people getting to see baby pics (not that I've bothered uploading any to MN) hmm...

Howlywails not me either... someone must want the credit.

Sorry you're having a tough day Unbuffy, I hope the sleep and the labour thoughts both calm down soon.

Here's a possible way to cheer up... J has taken to only doing one ginormous poo a day, and yesterday was quiet despite her fooling us repeatedly with noisy farts. Anyway, about 6am during a feed, I feel an unmistakable poonami (we've stolen it) but think to myself... DH alarm at 6.50, can she wait til then. DH gets up and asks if there's anything he can do, so I say sweetly "I think she needs changing." He picks her up and comments on her back feeling a bit sweaty. The bit I advise you try is to lie in bed waiting, listening to the velcro tabs undoing, and just enjoy the string of shocked expletives as your DP makes the discovery. Brilliant, laughed my head off. Ok I didn't get straight back to sleep but that was mostly because DH came in to present her vest and describe how the poo was on her shoulderblades! Does it make me a bad person... probably, but it cheered me up after nightfeeds where he fumbled around with his earplugs keeping his eyes shut! Really, try it,

PS Alba/Gi1da I just read the letter too... I tried to do something similar last year but never managed it. Tonight's OBEM has a mother who lost a newborn and had a stillbirth. I think it's going to be tough when I finally 4od it (DH won't watch them).

Oh Toomt that made me laugh - a stealth poonami no less!!

Howlybags came from lovely Ladybee, I think Alba coined the howlywail variant herself! Both perfect for those inconsolable moments.

Buffs I had a few moments about the cs when I realised I had no idea what it felt like to push, but as Alba and Clarea pointed out, it's all labour / birth, just different ways of doing it. And we just have to go with the belief that we did whatever was necessary to get our little ones here. Best not look back I reckon, what's done is yesterday's chip paper or something like that. Pants that you are back to broken sleep, hope things get back to better asap.

Oops my "that made me laugh" comment was clearly for your earlier post Toomt.

Got someone from mums and babies group comic round for the first time in 3 mins time- decided to read that letter while I'm waiting for her- so beautiful, am now a bit tearststained. I wrote a letter and have kept it with my tag from hospital, old notes and condolence cards. I can't remember what I wrote, but it's tucked away in a memory box for the future.

unbuffy sounds exhausting! What is ds doing after 20mins? Is he full or falling asleep? Can you try to keep him awake so he takes a bit more? Why is it that it's always between 12-5am that they won't go down or settle well? I wad like a jack in the box from 2am-4am last night -urggh

aaah, 'm awright really, just a bit sleep-deprived and sick of these flashbacky things. Don't intend them, consciously accept that cs was the only way etc, but they crop up when i DO manage to get any sleep . Clearly subconscious has some work to do there...

rotfl re stealth poonami. Honestly. Quite painful laughing silently so as not to wake baby, do not reccomend it! My dh has taken to sleeping in the other room, following various 'well i want to be there for you' comments from him which i responded to with 'hmm, at least you've got a choice and it's not like you DO anything except wake up, complain, go back to sleep, snore and get grumpy in the mornings'... But i could go with setting a giant poo on him sometimes

Squirting milk - when you don't want it to, it goes EVERYWHERE, when you try to, it won't go ANYWHERE. Part of the law of (soggy) sod i reckon!

Clareanna - he's full and booby is empty. He's got very efficient and drops off like a full fat tick when he's done! At least it's not endless cluster feeding all night long NON STOP (had that with dd ).

Will be sooooooooooooo glad when all the SICKING stops btw. It appears i am not ALLOWED TO WEAR CLEAN CLOTHES for more than 10 minutes

I'm scared. There's an off-the-scale poonami incident imminent. We've not had poo since Friday eve.

Blimey.

Bless him though, he cooed with utter joy after lift off.

Rookie. NEVER forget the aftershock!

Got DH again, this time unintentionally... she was crying as he walked through the door and he discovered a leaky wee (note to self - must review nappy brand) so he decided to bath her after this morning's poonami... put her down on a towel on the floor while he got organised, and like you Gi1da forgot the aftershock... cue a wee on the floor. He was irrationally surprised by this, cue me in floods of laughter again. What a brilliant start and end to the day. Seriously, I highly recommend it.

I cannot even begin to imagine what a whole weekend of poo might look like. You really should've stealthed that on someone Gi1da!

I notice Lia is doing a bit of facebook adding on the other thread too... if you want to show off your baby to me PM me, I feel the need to find out what your LOs look like.

who'd have thought there was so much entertainment to be had!

My curiosity has been outweighing my dinosaurdom. Registered on bookface yesterday and will try to work out how to put pics on tomorrow. You chaps will be my first friends if you want to! Will also have to work out mn pm system. God it's a technological revolution! Have been meaning to do this since Moo mentioned her medieval chicken so it's been a long time coming!

Gosh! And another !! For luck!