Totally's postgrads - you know who you are.

[Meita]

Totally's original thread was for TTC after MC. It continued long after Totally herself graduated, and is still going strong. Totally's grads was set up as a thread for pregnancy post MC - i.e. anyone who graduated from Totally's thread and anyone else who had experienced MC and was now pregnant. It, too, is still going strong.

Now, more and more of us have graduated from Totally's grads - including LouiseSH, whose Georgie was born asleep. I suppose that makes us postgrads. We have travelled together for a long time and would like to stay in touch, but the pregnancy post MC thread is starting to get very big, and I think it should be allowed to keep its focus on pregnancy post MC. May it be as wonderful a place for support for current "members" as it was for us.

So this thread is a place for us to keep in touch, share experiences, and provide support.

(This is the first time ever I'm starting a thread - hope it works out...)

Alba you've given me the tickly impossible to do while breastfeeding cough!

Seriously though, this is our first feed of the night, 10.45 til 4am, with just a short wake up for dummy settling at 2. Oh please let this be a sign of things to come.

Hi ladies, we're full of snot and coughs here, so I won't be doing any name-checking, just to let you know I've been reading.

Ianto just leaned forward (yep, he sits all by himself now) and pushed out a big one, to be followed by a radiant smile all over his face ;)

In other news, I think he's starting to make first 'proper' signs, it seems the baby signing classes are paying out. He's consistent with the 'pick me up' sign but I think that one's just natural to babies. I think he's getting the hang of the sign for 'milk' and I'm pretty sure he waved 'hello' the other day.

Regarding nurseries, oof has it been that long? Well we're definitely not going to my uni's nursery. Three reasons: It's in a basement (no natural light), they take the kids outside 2x/week and think that's a lot, and it smelled of poo. We visited another nursery, local to where we live, and they'd also have part-time availabilities and we've nearly decided to go there. It's nice and bright and airy, there are only 6 babies in the baby room (contrasted to the 23 at the other nursery), and they take them outside 2x/day come rain or shine... The only reason we haven't signed up yet is because we're still unsure if we'd perhaps prefer a childminder.
The whole process started with me being in shock and not really ready to even consider giving my baby to somebody else to look after, but the idea has slowly sunk in and now I've started to relish the idea of having a day or two per week to myself to be able to work on my PhD.

And since I've been looking into childcare, I'd just like to share that the childcare voucher system is changing in April (you'll get less afterwards) so you might consider putting in an application before that. You can still be on maternity leave when you do, you can defer the start of the vouchers for a while, and you can save up the vouchers for when you do really need them. Getting in the system now will mean the old rules for you throughout (until you change employer) so it could mean lots of difference in finances.

Got to go (you know, that nappy needs changing...)

urgh. I think there's a correlation here: The bigger the post-poo smile, the more yuk-ness.

Would like to add another type of poo to the list: the Midnight Sneaky. You're both lying there, 9 parts asleep, when there's a squelch... and another... and then baby gives that 'ah that's better i'm off to sleep again' grumble. And you've got two choices. you either leave it and know there will be a screaming unhappy smelly baby later, or you change it (and all the neccessary clothes) now, waking both of you up and having to do the whole going to bed thing all over again. It's a no-win situation...

at Meita

meita glad you've got more choices about childcare now. I did baby signing with ds1- milk was about the only one we mastered!! Ianto's doing well!

toomt brilliant news on the sleep- now you know she can do it it makes a big difference!

I may have met my match in ds2- he refuses to sleep in his Moses basket at night, preferring (obviously) nice warm mummy cuddles instead... How are you all getting on with getting them sleeping in their beds?

have posted this in childbirth, but wondered if you had experienced this? I've started bleeding again quite heavily (need a mat pad). Am waiting for MW to call me back, do you think it could be my period? Seems a bit soon and I'm Bfing, or is it normal to bleed randomly after a c-section?

Clare I did. It lasted around 7 weeks, sometimes v little, sometimes masses. KCACO! xx

aaah thanks bufy I've had literally nothing for 2 weeks so it was a bit of a surprise!

That evil genius baby is currently very happy in his moses basket drifing off to sleep - WHY CAN HE NOT DO THAT AT 4AM?! The 1.30 feed lasted until 4am this morning - that is when I finally cracked and put him in bed with me.

Oh no... I got poonamied. With the added joy of a wee washing it out of the nappy and all over the place. I feel it is karma.

clare I was exactly the same with the basket, but then one night spontaneously J just got over it and went in, and now does every night (although weirdly not in the day). I had tried hot water bottles and other tricks but I guess she just wasn't having any of it until she was ready.

Her latest trick appears to be at the end of a feed keeping her mouth slightly open so all seems fine until she comes off and I discover a puddle on my top. So annoying!

clare I was told to expect bleeding coming back strongly at around 10 days-2 weeks. And it did. Then after that on and off for another 4 weeks or so. I found breastfeeding would set it off.

I just got on my Wii Fit for the first time since 2 months and it's looking good - I'm just a couple of pounds away from pre-pregnancy weight. Not that that was particularly skinny, mind. I'm not really proud or anything because I haven't been doing anything to lose weight (I went to buggyfit a total of two times since Ianto was born, and did some Wii Fit exercises the whole of once - and haven't been dieting at all), but I feel quite relieved. Just need to make sure it doesn't all pile on again when I stop BFing.

Aah thanks meita wish they'd told me that too! Bit irritating as I thought I was getting back on track iykwim!

Well done on the weight loss- I'm currently 1 stone over where I was when I got pg- something to thank the mastitis for!! Unfortunately my start weight included the 1.5 stone i put on with ds1- sigh!

With you all on the poonamis... Had a vivid yellow one whilst out for lunch... trousers vest and socks all dripping (and the muslin I took him to the baby change wrapped in!). And another follow up when we got home.

And now I'm rather worried. Strapped him in the sling and headed out to stop a yelling fit earlier this afternoon, took longer than expected to stop the crying and I ended up browsing the shops. Some time later, still there... And he woke up. Demanding to eat there and then. So, I'm in department store feeding room. All well and good except.... I have no muslin, no nappies, no spare clothes....... What's my chances??? I'm trying to plan for worst case scenario in my head. Boots is only a minute away... And I guess I could line the sling with paper towels???? Oh dear. Here's hoping no explosion this time....

Argh- am completely pinned to the sofa today- feeding on and off since 10.30am- am hoping it's the 3 week growth spurt come early. Ouchy norks!

Oh dear alba!! I would beg a nappy off another mum. When I was potty training ds1 he had to wear my jumper as a skirt after an accident at a park- how we laughed ...

I'm glad it's not just me clareanna. We have been feeding non stop since Sunday. I am going crazy and worrying that something is wrong. We did get out today for an hour and had a nap for an hour. But other than that it's feed feed feed.

Hello ladies,

Just a quickie to say 'hello' and mark my place (it's been so long the thread's no longer on the 'threads I'm on'). I've been trying to keep up but C always seems to wake up/want feeding/begin to cry just as I start to write a post.

Ok so brief name check (from what I can remember)
Meita - great to hear you've other childcare options than the uni nursery - it sounds a bleak place. Also good to hear you sound so positive about returning to work.

Clareanna - glad the mastitis has sorted itself and hope the feeding frenzy abates soon. Ditto Muser.

TMT - loved the stealth poonami!

Alba - are you still in the feeding room? If not, what happened?

Speaking of poonamis - Gilda - I've found that soaking vests in Surcare before putting in the wash helps get rid of stains. Haven't had to resort to vanish yet, but we've not had many poonami incidents

Unbuffy - hope you managed to get a bit more sleep last night. I know exactly what you mean about the conscious and unconscious mind having a difference of opinion. I know that what happened was the only possible option, but still catch myself thinking 'if only...'

Mixed news here at RHG HQ. C's generally a happy camper: she's putting on weight (bang on 91st percentile - she's a big 'un!) so she's feeding really well. Unfortunately she's not so good at sleeping. Or rather at going to sleep. Once asleep she's brilliant - we often get 6-7 hours undisturbed. But it's the howlywails (loving the term!) for the 6 hours beforehand which is doing my head in. I remember posting about bedtime routines and we're now feeding, bathing (which she now loves), massaging and then putting down in bednest as soon as the yawns start with a story/lullaby. Last night it worked - for half an hour. She then woke up and cried and cried and cried. We tried to reassure her, patted her, sang to her, picked her up and carried her to calm her before putting her back down only for her to start crying again (harder!). She was in a real state. She was clearly overtired and unable to drift off. She's also pretty bad at taking naps during the day (or I'm pretty bad at enforcing) which must contribute to her being overtired. She's been accustomed to falling asleep either being carried or rocked by one of us, which tbh at 12lbs already is unsustainable, so we're trying to encourage her to fall asleep in her bednest and break her reliance on us as props for sleeping. So far it's just been met with tears and that just about breaks my heart. So currently it's a choice between either my back (she knows if you sit down) or my heart she breaks.

Oh yes, I put some photos up on bookface last weekend. If anyone fancies a peek pm me.

Gosh... and it was only supposed to be a 'quickie'!

Happy St David's Day all

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAFFS!!

I wandered lonely an' all that

Are you escaped yet ALBA?

Waves to everyone!

(me likey daffs)

Unbuffy, RHG: same here.
In hindsight, the decision for EMCS was absolutely right - if anything, it should have been done earlier. Ianto was in the process of getting really bad due to GBS infection and needed to get out and have antibiotics as soon as possible. And labour wasn't progressing and wasn't about to, either, even with the drip - as his cord was so short that his head couldn't properly put pressure on the cervix (probably).
And yet I find myself thinking I should have insisted they check how far dilated I was one more time (last time they checked I was 0 cm), I should have tried the drip as if it didn't work we could still have gone for the CS, if only I had had better care I wouldn't have needed the epidural (my MW was looking after 3 labouring women at once - she looked in on me once every hour or so)(but how should they have done the life-saving CS without epidural hmm?), why did anybody suggest the epidural to me anyway when I had written in my birthplan that I didn't want anyone to suggest pain relief to me, why did DP not do all the things we had agreed on in the birth plan such as remind me to go to the toilet and drink, and on and on...
I guess it's all to do with me not being happy with how it went. I kind of resent the EMCS although it probably saved Ianto's life, and maybe mine too (the ultra-short cord might have meant that he couldn't have come out without pulling the placenta right with him which I'm sure is not how it's meant to happen). Probably I resent the EMCS because I experienced it as kind of nightmarish. I had the shakes, although conscious I hardly realised what was happening apart from shaking and feeling sick and scared, I was confused and disoriented, and they didn't bring me my baby until he was all cleaned and wrapped up (probably a good thing as he'd been covered with sticky meconium), I didn't get skin to skin until they had already poked 16 needles into him in their attempts, without success, to get a cannula in, and as soon as DP and DM had left a nurse came round and put clothes on him - I wasn't the first to dress him, I wasn't even asked.
Oh dear, it's been six months but by writing this all up I realise just how close it all still is.
And then I think of a possible next pregnancy, and how it's bound to be harder as I'd need to be on an antibiotic drip from the start of labour due to GBS history.
And then my rational mind kicks in again and I look at my beautiful, perfect little boy and it all just doesn't matter very much.

Constant feeding here too, I'm sure my boobs must be totally empty. We're also having a howlywail evening and as DH says, he looks forward to seeing her all day then she just shouts at him constantly, I feel really bad for him. Not sure what kind of night's ahead.

Right before I start don't laugh or roll your eyes too much!

So, finally got J down at midnight, after a difficult evening, but then not a peep til 2.30 when I reached into her basket to find her mouth, she licked my finger twice and went back to sleep. I figured this gave me another ten minutes or so but the next waking was not til 3.30, two sucks on a dummy and she settled until 4.45 (and for all of these we're talking grunts and wriggles, no crying) then at 5.30 I got cries and fed her. I know I've been waiting for this for a long time but is it ok just to resettle her like that? Without feeding more?

The problem with the schedule is that she went back down at 6.10 and DH's alarm was 6.50 so we end up all awake again and now I'm struggling to resettle.

Anyway, I know I'm crazy to worry, this is just what sleeping through is like right? I'm seriously never content am I!?

Meita frankly sounds like your experience was bloody horrid and I think it is good to acknowledge that as part of coming to terms with it. If it helps at all 8 hours on the drip only got me from 4cm to 8 and sounds like you didn't have that sort of time to wait.
Glad you found a better option for nursery, and thanks for the tip on the voucher scheme. I've only just filled in my child benefit form, must pull my finger out and look into this too. Spoke to some parents at my booby group on Monday who said there was a year long waiting list at our local nurseries, and costs ranging from £900 to £1200 / month full time. I knew it would be like that but have spent the last few years desperately focussing on getting pregnant and ignoring all practicalities. Now I'm rather thinking fuck how are we going to manage this!

Toomt hope you are waking after a good sleep!

Reds great to see you. We also have baby fitted with the altimeter / motion sensor. Amazing he can go from snoring to total alert if I stop rocking or lean to put him down.

Clarea re jumper as skirt park incident. What you missed was the two fashionistas walking past. One to other "Ooo Minty daahling look! Galliano's doing baby wear!! "

Am off to Covent Garden today to pop into work (social visit). No poo yesterday so am rating today as potential for great comedy.

Happy Wednesday all!

Toomt x post (yes that's how slow I type on the small screen). If you can learn to sleep through the snorkling noises then that's a brilliant 5 hour sleep! No way do I even consider waking R to feed in the night (knowing he has fed well all day). If they need it they will let you know!

Sorry bit late getting back on, lots of howlywails last night, thenwhen he did settle it was curled up next to me in such a way to make typing pretty much impossible....
But we escaped the feeding room clean, phew! Some rather explosive wind but thankfully no follow through so I made it to collect DS1 on time and then home... But I think I'll put a spare nappy in my handbag just in case it happens again!

Meita glad you're getting better childcare options, that uni nursery sounds truly appalling!

RHG good to see you again, sorry about the howlywaily evenings, we have the same and did with DS1 too. Remember 'this too shall pass'. I chant it as I walk up and down with him, keeps me going! That and 'he can't cry forever'... Exhausting, but you'll have strong well toned arms by the end of it!

Clare Moses baskets??? My little one hasn't slept in his once! Very glad it's his brothers old one or it would have been a complete waste of money! That and the pram. He sleeps with me. He sleeps in a sling and in a car seat. That's about it! Shame I rarely get to do anything much without him clinging to me but it won't be forever and I can go out whenever i like, the kids never need to be quiet and I get a lot of sleep, now I've learned to relax, night feeds involve latching him on when he stirs (I wake before he cries... didn't believe that when I read about it, but it happens!) and then I've fallen asleep again as soon as he's started to feed.
And as you say, he won't still be sleeping with me when he goes to school, at some point the independence will kick in. They're tiny for such a short time I try to make the most of it.

Right, he's asleep (on me...) time to attempt transfer to car seat...