Totally's postgrads - you know who you are.

[Meita]

Totally's original thread was for TTC after MC. It continued long after Totally herself graduated, and is still going strong. Totally's grads was set up as a thread for pregnancy post MC - i.e. anyone who graduated from Totally's thread and anyone else who had experienced MC and was now pregnant. It, too, is still going strong.

Now, more and more of us have graduated from Totally's grads - including LouiseSH, whose Georgie was born asleep. I suppose that makes us postgrads. We have travelled together for a long time and would like to stay in touch, but the pregnancy post MC thread is starting to get very big, and I think it should be allowed to keep its focus on pregnancy post MC. May it be as wonderful a place for support for current "members" as it was for us.

So this thread is a place for us to keep in touch, share experiences, and provide support.

(This is the first time ever I'm starting a thread - hope it works out...)

Hello Lotta. Nice to see you here.

With what you've expressed you could cup feed. I had to do this as Muselet wouldn't wake up to feed. The hospital gave us the cups but you can buy them in mothercare, or maybe improvise. If you have one of those cups that come with cough medicine that might work.

What I was told to do was to express a bit, cup feed her until she woke up and then get her latched on. The cup feeding gave her enough strength to breastfeed, and after 2-3 times she was waking up herself. It was amazing.

With the cup feeding, you sit them on your lap and tip the cup so they just lap the milk with their tongue like a little cat.

Oh, and to wake up/keep awake you can try stripping down to vest, changing nappy before or halfway through a feed, blowing on face, rubbing hand/arm quite strongly and giving your boob a jiggle with your finger.

Congratulations on your new arrival and good luck with the feeding.

Good morning,
welcome Lotta and massive congratulations!
Probably your milk will come in anytime now, and then things will improve. It must be frustrating for baby to feed when there's not much there! So I wouldn't worry too much yet, and see how it goes when your milk is properly in.

If you don't mind me asking, who told you to express and maybe give formula? It's just that some midwives/HVs are not really experts on BF though they like to think they are. If in doubt I'd say try to see a lactation consultant. The nursery nurses I saw one day in A&E insisted Ianto needed formula and I 'just didn't have enough milk' when in fact things were quite different (long story).

For 5 ml I'd use a syringe.Once your milk comes in properly you'll be expressing more and perhaps a bottle will be easier. Many of us here have combined bottle and breast and it can work. Though at times it can be really hard work. I always gave Ianto the breast before he got a bottle, even when he fussed and screamed or just fell asleep.

Let me know if I completely misunderstood and your milk is already there. In which case I think you'd be needing advice on how to express more - which might also help with the BFing.

lotta lovely to see you here- also wanted to say that for colostrum 5ml is a really good amount to express- well done!

Welcome lotta, lovely to see you on the other side. How has today been?

So... back to my 4.30am post. Last night J went down at 10.15, then up at 1.30, 3.30 and 6.15. This is fine, she's ill so I realise she's going to be up a bit more often, but the problem is the middle feed. She feeds for 10-15mins as usual, but then just sits awake... from 3.30 I finally turned the light off at 4.50. I then got to sleep at just after 5, to be woken shortly after 6, her being awake for an extra hour makes no difference to the length of time between feeds. She isn't crying or fussing, just sitting on me awake. As soon as I put her down though she starts thrashing her arms and legs and whimpering, until I pick her up and she goes quiet again. So I end up just sitting awake for ages, for (seemingly) no good reason.

Any advice!?

I really hope she's properly better soon, as I need her to stretch out these feeds so I can finally get more than 2 1/2 hours sleep. But I'm concerned this cold is going to run neatly into a 6week growth spurt. I feel like a zombie most days!

How is everyone? Things have been quite quiet recently... any updates?

Welcome Lotta

Toomt bloody hell! I'm sorry you are still getting no sleep. No useful advice, though you are more resilient than me, I reached the point of sleeping through the thrashing and wimpering. Now it takes a full on howl to keep me awake!

Quiet on posting here as we seem to have less sleep time in the day, lots of grizzling, constant desperate hand gnawing (he can't possibly be teething can he?) and the discomfort of not enough poo action (nothing yesterday then mega poonami this evening).

Mood lifted though by a brief flash of sunlight today and the mild weather. Apparently it's going to get cold again, but at least it is getting lighter.

Hope everyone is doing ok. Will try and keep up!

Ps that's paragraph 2 for him, and paragraph 3 for me - just in case you thought I was chewing my fist and constipated!

Oooh we too have cut back from six poos a day to six all in one go, necessitating a bath! Actually quite amusing.

Just waiting for her to fall asleep...

TMT I feed lying on my side, and fall asleep before my baby does. Lactation consultant assured me that's safe provided none of my bedding goes on him (he'd overheat), so I have duvet to my waist and wear a cardi. And the usual on don't do it if you smoke or drink etc.
He fed every hour or so last night, I definitely saw 1am, 3am and cluster feeding from 4am till 6am. Thankfully DS1 slept in today (till 7.30!)... But X made up for it by being good as gold whilst DS1 got half term treat trip on the train to the seaside. Fed on the train, slept in sling whilst we were on the beach, fed at lunchtime, then slept in the sling for the rest of the trip! A lot of sleeping... All a combination of growth spurt and a cold, I think. We've just had two hours of howlywails. Wouldn't feed, I think possibly due to sore throat, so finally I expressed to try to get something down by bottle... And he took half an ounce and fell asleep. Now I daren't move. Who was stuck like this last night? It's very frustrating but I just don't want to wake him till he's had a fair amount of rest so I don't get the wails again...

Welcome Lotta, breastfeeding is very hard work to start with. That's loads of colostrum, I was proud of a few drops on day 1... We couldn't get X latched on so the midwife gave me some sterile syringes and I hand expressed directly to the syringe (sucking up a drop at a time). It got better, but rather slowly. Started expressing and using bottles sometime in the second week. If you've been following the thread already you'll know all about my feeding trials and tribulations. But now, it's great. Having had one bottle fed baby (not through choice), this is now, having got established and got used to feeding in public, so much easier and more convenient. The hard work is worth it, but I could not have done it without doula and lactation consultant support.

Here's to a better night for everyone. And to magicspiderbabies joining us imminently! Our sleep deprivation will pale into insignificance!!

Evening /morning all- just checking in from the early shift!

toomt sounds like dd hasn't quite worked out when night time is yet! You could try pick up / put down which worked for me when ds was a bit older?

alba what a lovely day out! I went for a small outing today, but luckily didn't have to feed... This baby is very funny at the start of a feed- he likes to "taste" the milk and then have a think about it (getting it all over his face in the meantime) before committing! he's like a fussy customer with the wine selection!

gi1da it could be tooth movement, they move down in the gums before they make an appearance on the surface, quite common at 3 months to get some teething symptoms but no teeth.

Pick up/put down? Do I just pick her up and put her down?

'morning Toomt!
Found this for you, having a read myself. Sorry it's a long one so linking rather than pasting...

Pick Up Put Down method

thread from mnet

love the comment: "Worked for us too and DD previously could only sleep with vigorous rocking plus hoover noise."

Clarea he's only 6/7 weeks . Have googled (yup, I normally want to flick posters in the head when a post starts with that, usually followed by the urge to stick a post-it on their forehead with the words Step Away from Google You FOOL") and some seem to think it can start that early even if it is still months before they cut a tooth. Hopefully I am being a fool though!!

V in awe of Magic for bringing forth spiderlets, looking forward to hearing that she's through it. Just can't imagine it! Incredible. Two. Not one but Two. [shakes head in wonderment]

Crikey, this is the prob with in-bed tinterboodle devices - he drifted off half an hour ago and I am still typing. Need to pick up put down myself! Oooo birds tweeting!

I do wish it were summer... Would far prefer to have sat on the beach feeding than the close proximity of a little restaurant, where everyone coos over cute little baby then suddenly there's an embarrassed hush as they all avert their eyes when they realise the impending feed doesn't involve a bottle. Getting used to it slowly... Thankfully we tend only to have fussy feeds in the evening... Or is it just that out and about I find I can manage the very forceful and in control latching on the lactation consultant taught me just that little bit better when the alternative is my nipple on show to the world ? I know what you mean about fussy eater Clare, it's started happening to me... Though X pulls away far enough just as my let down kicks in so the milk goes all over me not him...

Right, time for me to try to sleep again, only checked in for news updates on spider babies

Right, I have done my birth story if anyone fancies a read. Sorry it's a bit epic!

My waters broke on the Monday night, about 10.30pm as I got out of the bath. I was soaking through maternity pads very quickly! Went to the birth centre and they confirmed it was waters, told me I had 48 hours to go into labour naturally or I'd be induced. I went home and tried to sleep.

Contractions started about 1.30am. I put my natal hypnotherapy cd on and breathed through them and slept in-between. They had got stronger by the morning and I put my TENS machine on, which helped a lot.

Called the birth centre at 8am as it was feeling quite intense but they told me it sounded too early to come in. Kept on with the TENS, the breathing, had a shower. I spent quite a lot of time leaning over my bed, the chair, or my body pillow. Sometimes with a blanket over my head to hide away!

At 12.30 I went in to the birth centre thinking i'd be sent home but really needing to know where I was. Examined and was nowhere near being dilated. Told to go home, have lunch, go for a walk and get some sleep. Definite undertones of "you have hours and hours to go". Was also told baby was in-between back to back and proper position, which was why my contractions felt so intense. Was given tips on how to help the baby turn.

Couldn't eat the pizza DH ordered so tried to lie down instead. Contractions started getting much more intense but I was managing with the hypnotherapy and TENS. Then I started pushing. Which I was sure shouldn't be happening yet. Went to the loo and had a massive contraction and again the pushing. Got up and saw bright red blood. DH came to look too. We decided it was time to call the birth centre again.

Birth centre said the bleed needed to be checked out on the labour ward, they had concerns about the placenta. So off we go to the labour ward, at 3.30pm.

At the labour ward I swap my TENS for gas and air. I loved the gas and air. Get examined and told I'm now 6 cm dilated. I get told not to push a lot but I don't know how to not push as my body has just taken over.

Examined by midwives and docs, much debate about what the bleed is. They eventually decide it's not serious. Then they wonder what to do with me. Someone decides to examine me again and I am now fully dilated. Midwife explains I have basically pushed my cervix away, and this has probably caused the bleeding.

Now I'm fully dilated they decide to let me have the baby. I get to pushing properly, the docs leave with one saying she'll be back in a few hours to see how I'm doing.

Now I'm free to push I feel much calmer and work on getting this done. In between contractions my DH gives me apple juice to drink and keeps me cool with a damp flannel. It is unbelievably hard work, but I never feel the pain is too much. I am off my face on gas and air though!

Midwife and DH start getting very excited as they can see the head. This next bit was the hardest thing I've ever done. Midwife tells me to stop with the g&a and concentrate on pushing. I push, and push, and just as I feel there's no way this baby is coming out she's suddenly being bundled onto my chest.

It is 5.32pm. 2 hours after being admitted, 5 hours since I was told I was nowhere near having a baby. I am stunned but absolutely exhilarated as I hold my little girl. It is the most amazing thing that I can't even describe.

So that's my story. Fast and furious!

Oh muser what a great story, It's the bain of my life as a Doula when Mw's and hp's don't listen to women.

You did a brilliant job, I hope you are very very proud of yourself. (next one'll be popped out at home then? )xxx

That's what my midwife said lia! She thought I'd be perfect for a homebirth

It's a shame I missed out on the birth centre, but it was a lovely birth once I knew I was allowed to push. I had no idea the pushing urge could happen before you were fully dilated. That bit was scary as I thought something was wrong. Once I knew the baby was ok it was fine.

thr bright red blood can sometimes happen with fast dilation aswell, which sounds like it did in your case. With baby#1, mw's and hp's don't always think of that as they assume it's going to be ages.

Am really pleased for you. x

Sorry for lazy posting last night toomt ! thanks for linking Gi1da - you're more alert than me in the wee small hours!!! Another thing that it cold be is at 6 weeks they have big developmental surge which coincides with their growth spurt - they become more aware of their environment and can begin to get overtired and fight going to sleep a bit - which can cause extra crying. Ds could be recognising that sucking on his hand is a comfort when he's tired? just a thought!

muser great birth story - so chuffed for you!

In other news.. I went to sainsburys today (with DH) and needed a lie down to recover

Ah, that makes more sense Clarea he's definitely suddenly more aware, and really wants to move about, keeps trying to climb up me. His legs are really strong when he pushes, I've learnt to keep my head out of the way but he headbutted DH in the mouth yesterday. Getting some smiles and funny noises now which are uber cute. Aw he's not going to be a man cub for long is he?

Muser well done you! Sounds like it went brilliantly. Even though I have my little one I still have no idea what 'birth' is actually like due to emcs so am totally amazed when anyone actually does it. [doffs cap in respect!]

How are you doing today Lotta? Hope the feeding is going ok. Do bear in mind that it will take time for both of you to get the hang of it, and there's plenty of help about if you need it.

Alba borrow a cute dog if you have to breastfeed somewhere very public. I met a friend with a dalmation yesterday at a busy cafe, everyone was too busy fawning over the dog to notice DS contemplating my nipple!

just a quick c- section question - how long did you wait to have a bath? I keep on forgetting to ask mw when is ok, and read somewhere it was 2 weeks post...

Thanks for the link Gi1da, it all makes sense to me, I don't think I want to give anything a try while she's ill, I had hoped we'd be getting better by 6 weeks but I think I'm going to have to sit it out, but when the time comes it might be worth a try. Lets just say I'm over my dummy issues and it's getting plenty of use to help her settle through the suckiness!

Alba I did a co-sleep feed in the end last night from 6am, I just really can't relax or get comfortable when she's with me. I've got no way of making the edge of the bed secure either, although at the moment she can't go anywhere herself so it's fine. It might be another tactic we have to use to get through the next week.

Got her six week check next Wednesday, but I am a bit worried that she's been ill for nearly two weeks, and is now getting sticky eyes from where she rubs her nose and then her eyes. Add to that the cough, the copious amounts of snot I'm sucking out (yes I really am, although I'm using a little sucky device rather than just my mouth unbuffy) and the inability to breathe when lying flat and therefore sleep and I'm thinking about taking her on Monday. I'll have to see how she's doing. Poor little thing, it's a pretty miserable start to life!

Muser it's lovely to read your story, in some ways it's nice to know you know your own body don't you think? It's made me more confident for next time (next time!? What am I saying!?)

Well done on Sainsbury's clare, although I maintain online groceries are a lifesaver, we did Sainsbury's for the first time with J this week (DH on half term) and it was horrendous... mustn't let supplies run down again.

Good work on the public feeding Alba... I think it's really important and I'm ok with it now. You just don't see it in the UK but there are places where it's entirely normal, I think it's really bad that it's not the case here. I never even had an opinion on it before but now feel quite strongly about normalising it. Not that I'm heading towards militant nipple showing or anything. There's nothing worse than when she pulls back and I squirt everywhere... luckily we haven't done that in Costa yet!

How are you doing lotta?

Hoping DH home from the gym soon, I'm starving. Have a lovely weekend all.

Clarea mw was fine with me having a quick bath after one week, no toiletries in water, 10 minutes or so, and careful when drying not to rub scar (dab). My scar had healed well, no open bits. Gradually baths got longer and hotter after that. Enjoy!

Good luck with feeds and back to sleeps tonight Toomt

Baby sleeping so I have a few minutes finally to post! Just wanted to say thank you again to everyone's suggestions and advice about the breastfeeding. They were a big help and really kept me going. Things did seem to improve but by the end of the week had got worse again. Having visited numerous bf counsellors/ clinics and researched latching-on on the internet extensively (another reason why I've not been on mumsnet, every precious spare moment has been spent googling breastfeeding!) I was at the end of my tether. Still in pain, still misshapen/bleeding nipples and wounds not healing and still being told by everyone that she was latched on perfectly. There has been a lot of sobbing on my part going on! I was given the details of a lactation consultant by someone who came out today and she thinks that she may have a posterior tongue tie. Apparently it is more difficult to spot? We have been given details of someone who can snip it, hopefully this will be done quite soon, and fx this will make a difference. In the meantime feeding is still going to be painful so I may express and do some feeds that way to give myself a break. But at least I know that I am not going mad as was starting to feel a bit crazy with everyone telling me there was nothing wrong and really worn down with being in pain. So, still not there yet with the bf but she has given me a little ray of hope.
Hope everyone else is well.
TMT, sorry to hear your LO is still unwell, that sounds miserable for all of you. Sending you all big hugs.
Muser welcome and well done! Really enjoyed reading your birth story- I am fascinated by birth now and can't get enough of hearing about people's birth experiences/ boring people talking about mine. Hope you are both doing ok.
Lotta welcome and congratulations too!
Alba I can't wait for spring and the warmer weather, it will be so lovely to be out and about with our babies. Sounds like you had a lovely day out.
Hi everyone else, sorry to those I have missed but there is quite a lot to catch up on and I have to go and eat before she wakes up!

Ola Jolls! May be a longer journey than hoped for but still on the way. Fx for good news soon. Then we can all relax and scoff brie and OB on your behalf.

Dorcas blasted experts, sorry it's taken so long for someone to identify the problem. Good to know what's going on.

Had inlaws here for first time today to meet DS. Bless him, not a howlybag in sight and plenty of cooing. Little charmer.
Happy Saturday all. Off to check for news of Magic