Well hello ladies. Thought it was time to poke my head around the door and say hi!
How is everyone?
Chulita - exciting times that you're thinking of ttc again in a couple of months.
We've been doing ok. I struggled to settle into the new year and it not being 2010 and "Belle's year" anymore but feeling ok about that now. We've ordered her headstone now, which was very surreal. I could hardly believe we had to do it, lots of tears throughout the process but we took our time and the choice was fairly obvious and just right for her. We've ordered a rose white granite heart which will sit on a cloud base and the writing is going to be a lovely raspberry pink colour. We're hoping it will be up in time for her first birthday.
Talking of her first birthday we are arranging a fundraising fete for Sands and some brilliant prizes are rolling in from companies I'd written to regarding raffle prizes. loads of meals, overnight stays in hotels, afternoon tea in posh places etc. All fab stuff, and completely overwhelming and the response and support we're getting. This is the fb group I've made to keep it all updated. Group Link
DH's lumber results finally came back and showed nothing scary. Everything was within normal levels. I'm relieved that anything nasty has almost been ruled out but we're both so frustrated that there is still no diagnosis and no treatment to try and help make him better. Next appointment with neurologist is early april, by which time he'll have been like this a year. I'm predicting another MRI will be arranged to compare results from the damage in his neck that was previously found, to see if its got better, worse, stayed the same etc. Who really knows whats going on? I feel like they are going to say unexplainable nerve disfunction....
In other news, I wanted to come across and whisper very quietly that this morning I had a bfp. We are over the moon but terrified. (as well as sad, feeling a bit guilty, overwhelmed rolled in with everything else. Really mixed up!) It is very early days and there is lots of early sticking to do before anything else but we're happy. I've phoned hospital and they have booked me in for a early scan on 22nd March. Ironically on 22nd March last year we found out Belle was Belle, so it is kinda nice/spooky that our first scan for this little baby will be on that day too. Special connection. I can't really think beyond that first early scan at the moment, I'm going to have to break this down into little survivable chunks. If you pray, please pray that the scan will bring reassuring good news and this little baby will be kept safe until and beyond its arrival. This is all feeling pretty huge at the moment.
Belle's rose has loads of green leaves. very healthy and lovely. Will let you know as soon as she has a flower! I'm quite impressed with myself actually that I've managed to keep a plant alive - almost unheard of!!!
anyway, wanted to pop by and let you all know I still think of you often. much love xxx