August 2010 - new thread ladies!

[Chulita]

New thread cos we've nearly filled the last one!

Lucky thing! F seems to be on a constant growth spurt and the longest he will do is one lot of 3 1/2 hrs, despite doing 9hrs only 2wks ago.

Starting to despair tbh, not only is he waking lots, he is taking at least half an hour to resettle, that is after feeding both sides too

Alice bugger to anyone who dares comment, you're being too hard on yourself...you know your baby better than anyone & what's right for him & you've done amazing feeding him yourself & going to the extra hassle to donate. Hope life is easier soon..it will be, this too, etc..x

Alice quick post as at the ILs and visitors soon.
Just wanted to say we've just started S on baby rice and she's littler than F (in age terms at least)...
I think the problem with these big babies is that there comes a point when it's very difficult for us to satisfy with our milk. I don't care what anyone says, S is the size of an average 8 month old, so how the heck am I supposed to keep her satisfied just with my milk apart from being up all night with her?!

Thank you lovely ladies for your support, was starting to feel like it was child abuse!

pample as i have just pointed out on another thread, with us either it is babyrice, or i am switching to formula (assuming i can get him to take a bottle!) so by giving him a bit extra it is likely that i will BF for longer. Each to their own. My sis had a big baby and was desperate to wait til 6m, but DN was crawling at 4m (was 10.5lb born) that she just had to give her some food. DSis BFed for a year.

On a lghter note, F got this for christmas and loves it!

Feeling your pain Belly. Eli (never a good napper, but ok sleeping at night) has become the baby that never sleeps. He wakes every hour to feed at night and thrashes around crying if I try and leave him at all. DH has flu so hasn't been able to give me a break at all during the days. Not the first Christmas we had in mind! I haven't cried this much since the first week. I hope this is just the four month growth spurt/sleep regression - although in my darker moments I'm beginning to think we've given him bad habits (needing a feed/soothing to sleep) that we'll now never be able to break. The scariest thing is the only real sleep he gets is when we swaddle him to go down in the early evening (7-10pm, or thereabouts). He's starting to almost roll now and I'm really worried about continuing to swaddle him after he's learnt (i.e. That he'd accidentally flip onto his front after partially getting out of a swaddle and not be able to get his face off the mattress again). Anyone got any thoughts about that? The longest he'll sleep is half an hour in a sleeping bag before his thrashy arms waking up.

Sorry to be such a downer and very me me me. Just feeling a bit desperate. Hope you all had good Christmases.

nat poor thing, no real advice i'm afraid, but there is a 4m sleep regression/growth spurt support thread in the Bf topic, perhaps that may help? I have found that F will sometimes really fight sleep, but can get him to have a short morning nap (bout 30mins) in his swing, and then he has his afternoon nap in the car. Tbh, even his naps hav got mch shorter lately, but if he has a decent nap he is much easier to deal with, and will then be calmer for feeding etc, and am not too stressed. Hope things pick up for you

nat we put S to sleep on his front because of his reflux and he's slept that way since about 3 weeks old. We stopped swaddling obviously and he doesn't wake himself up by hitting himself in the face. It could be an option for you. The 4 month regression is a beast, we're just out the other side and I'm so pleased!
As for weaning, we do it when we're ready right? I mean, within reason of course - we were trying DD with stuff at this age but not S yet. The added complication of dairy intolerance doesn't help and I didn't think he was ready til tonight when he sat on my knee and lunged continuously for my chips. He didn't get any but he so obviously wanted one! We're still waiting though cos he's calmed down on the every 90 mins feeding frenzy and is back to every 3 hours so we'll wait and see how he goes.

don't feel bad Alice, you're doing great by your baby. And I'm sure the growth spurt will end soon...

Well, we've had some pretty awful nights recently - but not quite as dire as they were. I intended to start sleep training PUPD last night but my DH stopped me after an hour. He was really unhappy about the level of crying - and these things only work if you're both in it together. Usually we give E a long sleepy breast feed topped up by a bottle of EBM before bedtime, tonight we tried giving the bottle first - will report back on what happens...

Well our lovely sleep through session of last night was not repeated!
Grr.. Meant to be Dhs turn too but she never seems to settle for him. He nearly always puts her back in the cot the wrong way around which doesn't help. Have also had dd1 up and down to our bed.
So haven't had much sleep and the only bit I did get was filled with a horrible dream about finding a baby abandoned in the snow which turned out to be an older child then having a fight with the mum. Was really awful.
nat I was going to suggest the sleeping bag but I see you've tried that already..

Alice I wouldn't worry about early weaning. I was advised by the hv to wean at 4 months with dd1 and have friends who were told to do likewise so doing it at 5 months with T seems late to me!

Nat my friend has one of those sleep positioner things, would that help?

I don't feel guilty for starting weaning early. DD was weaned at the same time on advice of HV and that was only 3yrs ago. It is others that make me feel like a criminal iyswim? (Not directly, just their views) Sometimes MN is a bad thing!

Anyway, F slept 8.30pm - 12am, then 12.30-6.30 last night, so i think i was right with thinking he was hungry. Along with the babyrice he had more milk yesterday too.

Yes totally get what you mean Alice I'm a rubbish example of a mn mum- all three in their own rooms before 6 months, all three weaned before 6 months, all 3 not breastfeeding at 6 months..
Still only two out of three have had fruit shoots ..

Doing well then
Tbh, i feel like going on some of these threads and saying "FFS, it is just a bit of babyrice, not wotsits and coke!" but i don't because that would not be helpful to anyone

I just ventured out from our cosy thread to have a look at some of the bf & weaning topics (v hard going here at the moment, sucking the life out of me constantly or so it seems, given up timing it) & oh dear, I won't be doing that again. I hate to be down on the sisterhood because being a mummy is tough whatever your approach but there are some complete fruitloops on here waging bf jihad. So no need!

It is so difficult. I was feeling a bit down the other day, and ummed and aahed about starting a thread about it, in case someone came on and told me off for doing something wrong Everyone was very supportive and helpful though. It is not that posters are being mean/unhelpful/whatever on purpose, more that they genuinely believe that they are right - they may well be, but they may also be very wrong and misguided, so really do not take anything as gospel. Yes everyone knows BM is best for babies, but being loved and cared for is much more important, and if BFing makes you feel miserable, it can make you resent motherhood and your baby (worst case scenario of course) so i really hate it when people look down on other people because they are giving their baby a bottle/doing early weaning/controlled crying etc. Parenthood is just getting through the day in one piece!

Sorry to hear you are still having a rough time. When F feeds now it does feel like he is sucking me dry, so my sympathies.

I agree with you alice and they believe they are right and their way is the only way. Unless you've struggled with bfing you can't understand why anyone would consider giving up. Some people (like my lovely but envy-inducing sister) just don't struggle with pregnancy/labour/birth/bfing. She's never had so much as a blocked duct. Thankfully she doesn't criticize cos she's an absolute saint but I can see how a different woman would just think that I was making a meal of it and not realise that actually, yes, bfing still bloody hurts after 23 weeks... My motto is 'everyone's different and every baby's different'. What works for me will not work for another mother/baby in the same way.

oh chulita i'm sorry to hear bfing still hurts. good on you for keeping going.

there's no way you should feel bad alice - you've done your homework and made your decision based on what's best for your baby.

i have also just started weaning (at 23.5 weeks). I really wanted to hold out to 26 weeks but all my family were on at me to give him tastes of things over Christmas, and it was easier to give him a stick of parsnip or whatever than to argue the point. having done that, he definitely seems ready - he can sit up well in his high chair, reach for pieces of food, pick them up and put them in his mouth. he had some banana today and he absolutely loved it. having started giving him food, i'm going to try him on some baby porridge tomorrow and see if it makes him sleep longer. somehow i doubt it!

i read somewhere that a baby of J's weight/height/age (c.8.5kg, 69cm, 23 weeks) needs approx 1000 calories a day, which until now has been coming entirely from my milk. i have been stuffing my face all christmas guilt free. hooray! i might have to be a bit careful once he's eating more solids.

Firstly, thanks Alice for pointing out that support thread. Like Hector, I don't usually like to wander out of our thread because the rest of MN is a bit terrifying. But the thread on 4 month sleep regression made me feel so relieved to not be alone with this shit, that I actually cried. (I also cried at a nature programme tonight about a mother polar bear and her cub, so I may not be exactly sound of mind due to sleep deprivation!)

Anyhoo, another fairly dodgy night last night (with another load of EBM down the drain with a refused bottle...sigh...) but I haven't been quite as much of a zombie today. Fingers crossed for only 3-4 feeds tonight!!

Alice - you are doing what is right for you and your baby. Bollocks to everyone else and the fads that come and go. Oh, also, what's this sleep positioner thingummy? Sounds interesting.

Chulita - you're such a trooper for BFing this far when it still hurts. Honestly, before E arrived, Tongue tie, his refluxiness and all the agony of the early days, I had no concept of how emotionally as well as physically painful this stuff could be.

Oh, final thing - who is it whose DH is also lactose intolerant? Can't remember.... I was wondering if you knew what implications it had down the line (i.e. Will this continue into childhood/adulthood?)

Oops - noticed I wrote DH when I meant DC earlier. Night dodgy thus far, more crying, milk down the drain, enormous poo, 30 min midnight feed. God knows if he'll go down...

I'm playing a game of BF hide & seek with a baby in a king size bed. No matter where I position myself (sneaking out one side, rearranging the pillow fortress as I go), he finds me & latches on..somewhere, anywhere, but he has the positioning instincts of an F15 & usually locks on to the boob, even during night flying feeding. That's him scratching at my back again (trying to lie so he can't smell the milk so much). We'll see what other collateral damage I sustain during the night..hopefully not the 'love bite' on the wrist again. I think I've given birth to a terminator sent back through time to suckle people to death. If I don't post again, you'll know he's finally succeeded.

Just popping by to say hello! (because for some reason, I'm still awake!)

Belle's rose has spent much of December indoors because of all the freezing weather and snow - it is really starting to flourish! (Yay, I haven't killed it yet!) Leaves everywhere. I will remember to post a picture again soon. It keeps going at this rate and we'll have a flower soon. I just hope it withstands the cooler temperatures when we venture it back outside!

weehector I will be honest, your terminator post has made me giggle tonight!

Hope you've all had a lovely first christmas with our August babies. :)

I cannot believe we're about to finish 2010. I'm finding it very difficult to let go of this year at the moment. The very best and very worst year of my life. Despite it all I became a Mummy this year, and that is so very special. It is difficult to let go of "Belle's year" but we are trying to see 2011 as another year for good things to happen.

Our christmas was very pink, Belle had a pink tree at home and in her garden. People have given us lots of little things to remember her by and to give her a first christmas - lots of decorations for her tree. We sent lots of bubbles to heaven on christmas day from her garden using the bubble machine we had bought for her, for christmas, all the way back in may. Belle had a pink angel cracker on the table, and a special candle for the day. Infact there was so much going on for Belle it would be too much to list here! DH was really thoughtful and had bought me a 'me and my mummy' photoframe from Belle which was a nice touch. It was a quiet, slow paced day, and everything was, as you can probably imagine, very painful but somehow perfect in the only way it could be.

Wishing you all a healthy and happy new year and wonderful 2011. Much love x x x

Happy Christmas and new year to you belle and your Dh Caz you are an inspiration as always

Caz - amazing. You and your DH got through Christmas in what sounds like a really thoughtful way. I mean, it can be a tough time of the year anyway, without such a big loss. You're a star - here's to 2011 being a great one for you. (How's your DH doing these days?)

Hector - heh! We have the opposite problem here at the mo. The little man often screams if I so much as deign to get my boob out near him. He has to be reminded/cajoled to eat during the day and then puts down massive feeds at night when he remembers that it's milk, not poison.

What's everyone up to for NY? DH is still poorly and E still so crap at night that I don't want to disrupt his evening routine/early sleep, so think we'll stay in. :(

CazandBelle It is great to hear from you again. I always have a tear in my eye when you update us, but I'm so glad you do, you and your DH are an inspiration and I wish you so much happiness for 2011.

Nat I have a baby positioner for my DS and it is great, look at this page

To all of us that are still BF, congratulatins to us all, I think BF is the hardest thing I have ever done. To those you who have had to change to bottle, then you did what was right at the time, we all want what is best for our babies and that is why we are all great mums. Chulita I am in awe that you still BF when you are in so much pain, my BF has been a walk in the park compared to you.

To all of us thinking about weaning, well only you as a Mum can tell when you DC is ready so nobody else has the right to say whether you are right or wrong.

My DS is my first DC and I have read so may books but they can't all be right, so I'm trying to go at his pace, whatever that may be. I want to do BLW but he may not want what I do. He is 19 weeks and on xmas day whilst sat on his daddy's knee at the table, my DS put his hand in the mashed potato and then ate it. I didn't try and stop him when he grabbed a second lot. He only ate a bit but he obviously wanted it, so I didn't stop it. I will follow my boy's lead, I think what I'm trying to say (quite badly) is...I think we are all being very good mums and we should be proud of our achievements and do what we feel is right when we feel it's right no matter what the other MNetters say on other pages. sorry for long winded message.

Just think 2011 is just round the corner, our babies will learn to crawl, walk and talk m the year ahead, oh how wonderful, i can't wait

Take care everyone xx

at mashed potato! What kind of person are you?

Having mashed potato on christmas day, seriously, christmas is all about the roasties

F being unsettled again tonight please just go to sleep

i know, I'm so excited at all the things J will learn to do in 2011. it's going to be fun! I've always thought babies are a bit boring up to about 6 months and while he's not boring to me, he is now just starting to become a real little person doing interesting things, interacting far more (eg he will sometimes wave at you) and developing a personality of his own. I love it! But am a bit scared at how fast it's all going. I keep thinking oh, he's trying solids now, he'll be filling in his UCAS form and I'll have an empty nest any day now. I might be exaggerating a bit.