November 2010: Welcome to life on the other side

[bunnygirl80]

Pull up a chair and help yourself to a LARGE glass of wine

Welcome to the dark side the wonderful world of motherhood

oh to help them poo, massage in a circular clockwise motion, and also peddaling their legs and pressing them up into their tummy can help.

it does sound a bit like teething, i always used nelsons teething powder with my boys and will do with merryn :) also have an amber teething necklace, no idea if it really helps but it looks very cute

Isaac is having no probs with pooing if anything I need to put a plug up him

Maybe I am just wishful thinking but I think the creams we were given are starting to take abit of an effect already, will see how he is next week

bunny could it be the 4 month sleep regression that gets mentioned on other boards round here?

Ended up in hospital last night with terrible mastitis, why do these things always happen when he gp surgery is closed? It came on so fast this time. I've been feeling rough all week but thought it was just a cold, then yesterday lunchtime my breast started feeling sore, half an hour later I had a fever, shakes and was vomiting none stop. Got a prescription for antibiotics over the phone but couldn't keep them down. Ended up in hospital on anti-sickness meds which thankfully worked as if they hadn't I'd have had to stay in on a drip. My breast is still really hurting but thankfully the fever seems to have gone. It's made me want to stop breastfeeding sooner than planned though, feeling so ill with 3 dcs to look after really isn't fun so I'm going to start introducing the bottle.

Oh no hmm I saw your update on fb and wondered what was up :( I hope you're feeling better soon. What brought it on, do you know? I don't know how anyone copes with more than one child when they're fit, three when ill must be a nightmare.

Cardi aaargh what a pain. I would start now and replace one or two of the feeds she will be having with the CM straight away. GOOD LUCK and if you want any more detail of what we did PM me.

Having an evening in in front of the rugby, but we did leave Norry with his GPs this afternoon and sneak off for an hour to the British Beer Festival on here. We couldn't remember what we used to talk about so spent most of the time talking about our DS instead [sigh]

oh hmmm, how awful for you :( i had mastitis a few times when ds2 and ds3 were little, it is AWFUL, but to end up in hospital! hope you are feeling better soon xxx

and with regards to bfeeding i bfed the first three totally, then with ds4 and dd i fed for a bit and then went onto bottles, cos as lovely as bfeeding is, its bloody hard work and when you have other children its not always easy or possible, so if you have to give her some bottles dont worry about it, you have to do what works for ALL your children, a lesson i learnt the hard way with ds4.

glad you got to have some time out fenouille, even if you did just talk about ds thats normal btw, you will get over it, eventually.

been crazy here yesterday and today with relatives visitng as it was ds4's 3rd bday, thank goodness the sun was out today so we could all go to the park as the house was so full, us 7 and 5 visitors, i felt like my head was going to explode, actually i really wanted a fag but having stopped when pregnant and not had one since, it would be foolish to start again! i stopped smoking for NINE years at one point, when i got preg with ds1 and then started again when ds4 was a baby, stupid thing to have done, so am not making that mistake again, but oh i so wanted one today!

right i am knackered so away to get a couple of hours sleep before Merryn wakes for her 11:30pm feed!

hmmmm oh no. That sounds horrible. I hope you are feeling loads better.

We also only have conversations revolving round our daughter. Must remember that other people are not interested in the contents of her nappies.

She is still not accepting the bottle. Any suggestions gratefully received. We're off so see grandparents tomorrow (eek, I have to manage the plane on my own with a baby) so maybe they will be able to persuade her.
I did two ski races this weekend and had to time feeding very carefully so as to give me time to get to the start, race and get back before she got hungry. Saturday didn't work too well and I retired before the finish - was far too tired and felt incredibly guilty that there would be a crying baby waiting for me. Today was a little better, but I feel so unfit still. No idea how these super-women manage to have a baby and win the olympics a month later.

Corgi I've sent you a pm (actually, I've sent you two as I pressed send too soon :) ) I dunno though, you sound pretty wonder woman-ish to me. We went for an hour long walk around the park this afternoon and out almost killed me It's more the cumulative fatigue though I think.

DH actually said to me, "I've got no idea what to say to you!" We did manage to avoid the subject of his Norry's poo though!

We bought Norry a door bouncer thing this weekend and it's gone down a storm.

hmm hope you're feeling better soon

cardi are other people really not interested in the contents of our babies' nappies? That must be why all my friends get a glazed look in their eyes when I try and chat to them

Sleep is no better here, although he seems more settled and is now waking through habit more than anything else. Part of the problem is his inability to self settle, thanks to my inability to leave him alone for more than 32 seconds.

We have a local parenting skills centre that gives advice (and if it's really bad you get to stay there while they sort you) so they've given me a plan to teach him to self settle without too much trauma. So far we've done 2 naps on the new plan and he only took 15mins to go to sleep and with only about 2 mins of crying both times. Am banned from going out at naptime for the next 3 days though - at least I'll have lots of time for MNing doing the housework

How're you getting on hmm? Hope you're feeling better - was having sympathy pains Saturday night as Jessica has a cold so is not feeding as much & spent the hours of 2 - 4am hand expressing to ease the pain! As soon as it was a reasonable hour to clatter around the kitchen I got the trusty pump out and expressed 10oz in about 10 minutes... They say infection mastitus is loads worse than blocked duct mastitus so really hope the drugs are working for you.

Thanks all for get well wishes, finally feeling much better today, although still totally wiped, not sure if it's all the drugs or the illness that's causing that though! Thankfully my parents came over to help for the weekend and Dh 'worked from home' yesterday so I was able to get a bit of rest.

Off to catch up on what everyone else has been up to now .

Sorry hmm only just got to catch up on MN and Facebook didn't put your status on news feed! Really pleased your starting to feel a bit better

Thanks for comments about Evies swimming badge :) was dead cute! She's swimming the channel next week! lol

My mum had her for a few hours today whilst I did end of year work stuff. When I rang to see how she was, she told me she had been really upset and was sobbing uncontrollably for about 40 mins!! Great! That made me feel dreadful as it's so unlike her and I really wish they wouldve rung! After talking about it, it seems she was probably over tired and just wasn't left to go to sleep in her 'usual' way! Don't want her to inky get used to the way I do things, but it works really well so am loathed to change anything! Guess I can't expect my mum to do it exactly the same....but causes stres all the same! Horrible feeling of I know best as she's mine and don't want to harp on about "I do it this way" .....but also don't want to think of her upset! Arrgh :(

Sorry rant over!

Only....not inky!

sounds normal to me babybean, you do know best as you are mum! and so you know all the little tricks etc that work, its just finding a way of saying to your mum what works best without it sounding like you are telling her exactly what to do etc.

took miss fussypots merryn to clinic today, she has put on OVER a pound in three weeks, so is now 15lb 4 and a bit oz!! and thats with her only taking 20-25oz of formula a day, 25oz is a very good day and doesnt happen often, generally she take 4oz at a feed and has 5 feeds a day, i keep stressing that she 'should' be having more than that, but she obviously doesnt, she just isnt a big eater.

ds4 has had his first introductory session at pre-school today! he starts after easter just one morning a week as they are really busy but he LOVED it, dp stayed with him and one of us will do for the next three weeks andthen after easter we will leave him!!

Thanks 4mad. I think I'm able to tell her in a non pushy way....she just doesn't really listen lol!

.....another rant coming I'm afraid!! Please feel free to ignore :)

We went out for our nephews birthday last night. Now I dont want to be a massive stickler for routine, but from previous occasions I know that if Evie doesn't stick to her bedtime routine and go to bed at 8, chances are she won't sleep as well and will wake earlier (not sure why as wouldve thought we'd get more of a lie in - but doesn't seem to work that way yet!) won't bore you with exact details, but basically woke up at 4.15am, settled her back after about 20mins & then woke up at 8.50am. Only trouble was, she then missed her 7am ish feed, pushing other feeds out of sync as well as naps. Not massive problem as have tried to get it back on track thru the day so hopefully back to normal again tonight. Bit of a PITA with swimming today as messed up timings a bit for it, but hey!
Anyway, I take her to swimming in her pj's as seems pointless to change her, then again at swimming & after, so at 9.50 she was in her pjs eating breakfast (wouldn't be normally but bit before is why!) I wasn't dressed either as wanted to sort Evie first. My Aunty called in with my mum to drop something off, and first thing she said was "you want to get up earlier"!! no hello or anything! Now she bugs me at the best of times, but after already stressing trying to make sure Evie had enough food/sleep before swimming after the disruption from night out....I was already pretty arrgh!
She then took her food off me and started shovelling massive spoonfuls in her mouth without even giving her time to swallow! I told her she didn't want anymore to stop her doing it, but poor Evie burst into tears anyway! There was my Aunty, her friend, step dad & mum, all rushing in faffing around her so no wonder she suddenly got startled and started crying! It made me so mad (& still does as you can probably tell!!) just wanted to shout, JUST LEAVE US ALONE!!!!
We are very very different, but now it involves getting my daughter upset it makes it sooo much worse!!
Oh yeah, and then she started telling me my hair didn't look very good & my roots were coming through really fast! CHEERS THEN!!
......& breeath! Sorry but really needed to get that off my chest!
She has massive issues & I'd say probably mental health probs so it's no use trying to talk to her as wouldn't get me anywhere! Just gonna try and stay out of her way for the foreseeable future! Think there's jealousy issues as well as none of her kids have bought their children up particulary great! Keep getting told Evie NEEDS a dummy which bugs!

Anyway....any suggestions on how we can go out past 7pm & still get Evie to sleep right thru?

Hope everyone's had a happy day in the sun :)

sounds nightmareish babybean, re getting her to still sleep as well? can you take a pram with you and do her usual bedtime routine and put her to sleep in the pram in her pj's etc so then when you get home you can just lift her and put her straight to bed?

ignore ignore ignore re your family, they sounda bit umm overbearing? and when dp is at home in the mornings i am regularly still not dressed etc after 9am cos i have a quiet morning with the little two whilst he gets up and does the morning dash to school with the elder three!

bunnygirl what is this marvellous gentle easy settling technique they have taught you? would you care to share it? merryn generally goes down ok but she does need a dummy at times to sleep, have had comments about that from family actually, that i never gave the boys a dummy so why have i given her one..........um the boys never needed one and she seems to?! that simple really, all babies are different ffs, but apparently her having a dummy is lazy parenting.........not sure that there is anything lazy in having 5 children myself!

That's what we do, take pram etc and put her in pjs. Last night she didn't wake up when we got home and put her into her sleeping bag, yet still seems to wake. It's as tho she doesn't get chance to get into a deep sleep. I think in going to get some black out blinds as wonder if she's waking when it's light and as she hasn't gotten into a deep sleep, thinks it's time to get up? She usually self settles back to sleep so it's not a huge problem, altho last night she got stuck in her bars of cot from rolling so got herself in a pickle!

I do try to ignore them, it's just so hard! Don't want to offend either as deep down I know they only mean well, so tend to not say too much!

Funny isn't it how different people see things. Your family asking why Merryn has dummy yet some of mine thinking I'm mean for not giving her 'comfort'! She's happy 90% of the time so I'm pretty sure she's getting all the comfort she personally needs and like I've time them, I she needed it, shed have it, but she hasn't. I don't think your lazy....think your a saint to have 5 & still find time to MN

4mad anything less than 10 children is just lazy I think you've done remarkably well to raise 4 kids without cracking open the dummy, but I suppose all babies like different things for comfort

The settling isn't really anything that miraculous - essentially just put him down when he's starting to get tired (which I was seriously misjudging!) and then leave him to it unless he sounds distressed, then try and calm him in the cot however you see fit. The thing that makes it feel a bit gentler than some sleep training things is just that they recommend not persisting if they calm and then cry again more than 4 times or if they become inconsolable. Will's actually done really well as he's going off within 5 mins of being put down - I actually think he was over being rocked to sleep as the past few weeks he's been kicking me and arching his back when I was trying to settle him

babybean families can be the worse for wading in with completely unwanted advice. Evie's early morning wakeups could well be related to the lighter mornings - I've had the opposite with Will as he was a summer baby. In the early days, if he wasn't back asleep by 4:30 after a 4am feed he would see the dawn starting to break and want to get up. There was no chance of getting him to sleep in past 6am. Now he still stirs at 6am sees it's still dark and goes back to sleep until 7-7:30.

I'm making some leek, potato and pea puree for Will's dinner - it actually smells really yummy, so might keep half as some soup for me

babybean how frustrating for you. Families always seem to think they know best and for some reason don't hold back with letting you know.
Dp's mum sent me a pic of Finn asleep sucking his thumb proudly announcing she had banned the dummy! I didn't say anything but was furious. He hardly ever has the dummy, but is his comfort thing, and all babies are differemt. Think it's a bit much tl start banning things from a 16 week old.

4mad glad to hear merryn is putting on weight. She is obviously taking all she needs at the moment.
Finn is getting so big - met up with sgj for baby boogie the other day and he was so much bigger than gorgeous little jessica.

Quick question, we are moving him out of his moses basket at he has outgrown it and are getting a cotbed this week ( just praying he doesn't have a growth spurt before then)
What bedding etc is needed/safe to use? I remember reading that you shouldn't use bumpers, but is that just for newborns?
Any advice much appreciated. Atm we just have sheet over mattress in moses basket and use either cellular blanket or sleeping bag.

they dont recomend bumpers etc for babies under one year, ditto quilts, etc, they recomend a sheet on the bottom and cover baby in a sheet and blankets or a grobag, i have always used grobags, but madame likes to be swaddled still so i swaddle her in a sheet and then cover her in a blanket at the moment.

so basically what you have been doing :)

i am wondering about how/when to stop swaddling merryn, but she likes it and it is defintely a 'cue' for her to go to sleep and it seems to settle her, i am guessing she will let me know when she doesnt want it anymore :)

Thanks 4 mad. guess that means will put all ideas of cute bedding out of my head for a while longer i suppose.

Impressed that merryn still likes to be swaddled. Finn didn't like it after around 5 weeks, would just moan a lot and try to get out of it. Am sure Merryn will let you know when she has had enough.

On another note, just read a thread wondering about oral sex while using a mooncup. Put me right of my lunch.

After singing the virtues of the mini pill to anyone who'd listen after my period failed to arrive, it turned up a week later. Am wondering if this could be because i forgot to take one ( realised 12 hours late). I shall live in hpe again next month. Though guess tis reassuring when AF arrives re the whole phew i'm not pregnant again yet.

I bought a gorgeous cot bedding set ages ago & though it's a bit redundant at the moment, we use the quilt as a play mat - nicely padded & can be quickly chucked in the wash when pooed on by the (not so) small one! It's by Kidsline - they do some lovely sets, Lainey, especially boys' stuff.

As for size, I don't think there's much in it between Finn & Jessica, I suspect she'll have reached 15lbs at weigh-in tomorrow but she is deceptively short so she looks like she should be lighter!

Am off to an NCT nearly new sale on Saturday - braving the mad raving women desperately elbowing people out of the way to get to the best bargains (this is how it plays out in my head anyway)!

Regarding settling, Jessica goes off really quickly but with a combination of sucking my little finger then self settling by sucking her thumb. So far we've only had one person (no kids and doesn't want them, which makes her opinion totally redundant IMO) tell me that thumb sucking and a dummy are the devil's toys, to which I replied that since both DH and I have had orthodontry work, chances are Jessica would have to regardless of whether she sucks her thumb or not. So shut it. Anyway, as far as I can see, when she goes to nursery they'll be thankful if she can self settle and comfort herself, and I'll be happier knowing she's happy.

Thankssgj i'll take a look at kidsline stuff.

Just sat here in tears reading this thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/1157339-doctor-appt-friday-for-DS-sicky-off-balance-bad-ears

a fellow mn'er lost her ds aged 2 last week after an operation on brain tumour.
Just made me sob with sadness for her, and how lucky I am to have DS. So scary that things can change so quickly [ sad]

It's like the wilderness round here, where is everyone and what are you up to?

lainey I saw that thread last week, it's so sad. I happened across it on a day when William was being particularly bad, and it made me realise that I really do need to cherish every moment with him, even when he's driving me up the wall

Sleep training is going well - he's now going off to sleep in his cot rather than my arms except for when I want a sneaky cuddle. Only problem is I'm now so conditioned to surviving on 4 hours sleep that I was wide awake at 4:30am while William slept peacefully until 6am.

Will can now stand up holding onto his baby gym (pics on FB if you want to see . Only problem is he's so heavy the whole thing starts to topple and collapse under his weight.

oh lainey, i have just read that and cried the whole time :( so so awful, makes me want to squeeze my boys and merryn so tight.