March 2010 - Six months in - will they ever sleep?

[Arcadie]

Welcome to the latest thread for mums of babies born in March ( and a few in Feb and one in April!).

Come on in. Find out who'll be pg next and who's weaning onto what.

scooby I agree with donttry, GPs see theses cases very often, and it's their job to listen to you! I'm sure anti depressives are not the only option. Look at me, I'm doing CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy)and I'm not taking the heavy good stuff (Amitriptyline) I used to take before getting pregnant. But if you don't want to see the GP straight away speak with your local HV. I'm sure the HV can help or point you into the right direction. Maybe pacific has some wise words?

Hope the night goes well, and remember: every time you wake up during the night, or every time your baby is crying there's a bunch of mums in the same situation. You are not alone! Hugs

Pixie Glad you are having a good time. I can imagine you smiling :)

x

hey all- lovley to read snippets from the mmmm! glad u all had a great time, really looking forward to york now!

Arcadie, sorry to hear of dh's need for an op hope all goes well x thinking of u all x

elk- hope all is ok- sorry gotta go 2 kiddies fighting" bbl

Glad you guys had fun at the mmmm meet. Must have been chaos with all those babies round a table

Arcadie - at your empathy-vacuum of a consultant. Hope dh is better soon, whatever happens next.

Scooby - sounds like you do need some support, sorry you're feeling so crap. Fwiw I agree with whoever said going back to work could help as you'll get back to a form of normality and have some space to be you, instead of mummy all the time. I always feel like I enjoy and appreciate the DDs more when I've been away from them for a wee while.

Part 2 (posting on iphone partly cos I'm in NI at my parents' and partly cos my laptop screen is broken ).

Valium I'm v that you're a quinnycaster! How is the buggy anyway? Your pics on fb make me want to convince dh to have one.

Melk - mucho respect for making the round up! You're, like, an MN sleb now...

Pixie - I'm glad to hear you back to your old self, hope your weekend with Dh is a good one.

Having a lovely Saturday here - yummy lunch at a country restaurant and a walk at the coast. I heart NI

scooby, I've PMed you .

Arcadie, sorry to hear about the fate that awaits one of MrArcadie's crown jewels. And do not worry about slagging off the surgeon you saw: sounds dreadful and being good at the cutting end of it is now excuse for total lack of interpersonal skills . It is very interesting how certain personality types self-select to different specialities and, let's face it, the only thing worse than a surgeon is an orthopaedic surgeon as far as the people skills go. I am allowed to be harsh; I have to live with a surgeon .

Pixie, have you and your DH come up for air yet ?

Fab thread, missus !

Well done, Dizzi, congrats on job.

evitas, how's your mum? And thanks for remembering my dad - thanks to everybody who asked - he is doing my mum's head in fine.

Glad to hear the dress rehearsal for the real MMMM went well and everybody had fun. I feel those of you who have met have an unfair advantage - I will have to become BMI's creepy, clingy, needy Friend in York .

Oh and I may not be a Quinnycaster but I won a free nappy yesterday I'm easily pleased!

Scooby Some thoughts.

I went to bed an hour ago and am still awake.

Check - wind down time VITAL for me otherwise I have last night's problem of still being awake at 3am waiting for Sim to wake up. You sound to be doing the right thing of getting up again and trying something else for a while rather than lying there freaking out. Good move.

I've been crying too because I've realised that quite often I don't like DS so much.

Check - they don't GIVE a right lot back at this stage do they? The odd smile or two. An occasional chuckle. But mostly just relentless need. It's ok not to like him very much at the moment. I'm trying to see people when he's awak who I know LOVE babies and just coo over how great he is which reminds me that he is great. Even if I don't like him very much at the moment.

He doesn't seem to give a fig whether I'm here or not.

I bet you're still his ABSOLUTE favourite person in the world ever. You'll make him relax in a way no one else can.

I'm falling out with the not so DH daily and all I crave is space and peace and quiet.

Oh yes. Oh yes oh yes..... Family/friends nearby? Who can watch him for an hour and a hlaf while you have a haircut or watch tv or do ANYTHING?

I start back at work on Monday on nights and have no idea how i will manage on limited sleep.

Me neither - but I know that you do because you have to. Does it feel a lot like "grab sleep when you can" crisis management at the moment?

I had thought I'd go part time but as that means spending more time with a crying child it's actually not so appealing-

Understood entirely. But if you can swing more time with him do - you won't regret it.

Does anyone else not miss their child when they pop out?

Not in the slightest. I've had face-to-face time with mine for minutes today (DSIL had my older two so I could catch up on the 4 hours sleep again) I find I need some time out to help you function.

I also get so annoyed with him when he wakes me before 7am.

Yeeeeeees..... It is SO hard to remember that he doesn't have a choice at the moment whether he's asleep or not. If he fights sleep or won't resettle it's not because he doesn't want to but because he doesn't know how. I find myself REALLY resenting Simeon rathe than rememebring that he's only 6 months old and just can't do it all yet. even if his siblings were eating three meals a day and sleeping seven til seven at his age .....

No idea whther it's PND or just knackeredness I'm afraid, but I do know that if you feel like you can't cope - go get help. That's what it's there for. Many hugs and prayers for a good night's sleep for us both.

Apologies for the WOEFUL typesetting and spelling on that post.

Thanks to everyone else for your good wishes for DH and commiserations about BBconsultant. HEckle I like the empathy vacuum!!

Arcadie- thanks for taking the time to write that. You are a wise woman.It helps to know I'm not completely alone and mad!! Good sleep vibes to you all x

Scooby, if you can bear to read about the terrible inventive things that toddlers can do, have a look at Melk's thread - the "Forgive me mother" one on discussions of the day. It's really made me laugh so might cheer you up. Or crack on with the wine/Strictly/peace and quiet combo, which also sounds good.

Melk, you are a proper MN sleb. Should have got your autograph but you were attempting to control The Elk and Thea and find a ticket and feed everyone and make polite conversation all at the same time so maybe hero worship wouldn't have helped?

I wouldlike to claim another first for this thread: surely no-one else in history has actually managed to make a loss at an NCT Nearly New Sale? I could have cried when I went to pick up the leftovers and seemed to have sold almost nothing. But cheered myself up in the knowledge that I'd got a bargain travel cot AND spent a whole wasted happy evening labelling the bloody stuff, not getting into bed until 1 a.m. Oh well...

scooby, .

BlueyDragon, I got your friend request, but I am too scared to venture on to FB as I am too thick to understand it.
And at making a net loss at the NCT sale - they are a buyer's market, aren't they?

Arcadie and anybody else who is struggling, may I warmly recommend What Mother do, especially when it looks like nothing - the first chapter made me feel so much better about how I was feeling. And of course we all love our children, but that does not mean we have to like them every minute of every day ... And I have always been delighted to pawn them off hand them over to an admirer for a few minutes to remember who I was again.

(I have also been reading 'The politics of breastfeeding', it is enough to make your blood boil, felt so het up about the subject I started a thread about both books )

Good night!

Pixie, you clearly have too much time on your hands !

And OMG, Melk's thread made into the Aitch's Talk Round-up !!

Have a nice Sunday everyone . We are off to see the steamtrains at Bo'ness ; not my choice of activity but gets us out of the house - boys need walkies ....

Pixie Am loving these updates, I missed them first time round as was expecting to be a Febber rather than a mid-Marcher!

Melk Well done on the Talk Roundup

Scooby

Pixie Thanks, I really should be fitting window locks and drain covers now but I cannot be bothered.

Arcadie He sounds like a right charmer, definitely one of the old school 'leave it all to me and don't ask any questions' type. Hope all goes well.

Although PD I saw an orthopaedic surgeon last year and he was very helpful, and answered all my questions. However the joint in my foot that he worked on is starting to niggle again so perhaps your inverse skill:bedside manner theory is indeed proven. It still makes me chuckle when I remember one of his juniors examining my foot with his flies undone.

DD still not sleeping alone at night, last night she spent the whole night in bed with me and DH, however she is now napping peacefully on her mat in the living room all by herself When she wakes up we are off to buy some light-and-sound-projector contraption recommended by a friend, if that doesn't work then I fear sleep training and cc will be the only option, otherwise DH and I may end up causing serious harm to one another through lack of sleep....

So am I being unreasonable to think that when ds asleep and instead of sitting and relaxing I embark on some form of house cleaning, dh should get off his fat ass up and help? When he is made to feel sufficiently guilty by my huffing and sighing instead of doing some essential task like the washing up or hoovering he does a 'man job' like wash the car or as in today decides to refelt the shed roof!? Aaaaarrgghhhh!!!!

Ps will post properly later just needed to vent!!

scooby a big hug,i have been where you are and its horrible,i didn't see anyone but i knew i had PND,what helped was a lovely man called my husband,we talked,we hugged ,i cried,and he helped,he was watching for the signs way before the baby came and he recognised that i needed help,i hope you will find someone to help you,

angstYUDNBU,these men sometimes act funny,my DH was awake this morning at 5am,DD wakes up,DH instead of attending to her,stays on the couch watching crap,i had to get up and go to her,let me just say i made my thoughts and feelings known,a bit weird coz he is normally good,

pixie glad to hear that things are happening:o,just don't forget us and come up for some air,

i have forgotten what i wanted to say,DD in a bad mood today coz she wants to eat all the food that is wrong for her,a shout out to everybody,

Ang - you are so totally not being unreasonable. And I really sympathise. My DH fusses over the garden like a third child but has a strange kind of blindness when it comes to a floor that needs hoovering or laundry that needs sorting.

Scooby - I reckon you've had some wise advice already so I'll just send you a hug and the hope that you will have an easier time of it soon.

Bluey - I can see how negative profits from the NCT sale would be really annoying but at least you made the effort to sort out and send in some stuff. I was full of good intentions but my bedroom floor is still covered in bags and boxes of baby stuff.

Fliss - Yep, baby in bed with us here also. To be fair, she does normally stay in her own bed until midnight-ish but, my god, how I'd love her to extend that by a few hours. I keep hoping she's going to do it herself as I haven't the heart or the energy for sleep training but the return to work will eventually force my hand.

And on the subject of sleep, she has slept a mere half hour today, refusing her morning nap and a proper post-lunch one. She's asleep now (in the sling). I should wake her up, shouldn't I? Although I fear I've already royally screwed up bedtime for her tonight....

Evening all- back to work half nights tomorrow I.e finish at 2am. Childcare fallen through for Wednesday. Is this the way it's gona be? Get up on 3hrs sleep?

Oh Scooby - I'll be thinking of you tonight - really hope it goes well and that someone comes forward to look after you LO on Weds.

scooby - no I don't think it will be like this all the time but it will be hard at the beginning. Have you had a think about the advice everyone has given you? We all need as much support as we can get

ang/toostressed - sympathies re unhelpful DHs, esp. the 5o'clock riser! My DH makes my blood boil when he reads the sports section on a Sunday morning while I am changing nappies/dealing with tantrums/washing up. To be fair he is otherwise pretty good, it's just that bl**dy sports section

Good morning everyone

Ang/TooBlessd and everyone else. Yes, definitely men can take us out of serious! But we all love them so much...

Scooby all the best luck! I'll be thinking of you.

Pacific I like your new name :)

Pixie How was your weekend?

BMI how are you copping with the crawling?

Sariska hope you night was not too bad

Why are Mondays so hard?!
Ok, time to back to work.
x

BMI how did i miss the crawling part?when did this happen,,oh wow,already,my DD is lazy,she does not like moving a lot and if put her on her tummy then i think child services will be called

scooby this too shall pass,things will deifnately get better,am thinking of you today
pacificwhats your new name?

evitas,yes we love them darling husbands,they can do so much,but when faced with a crying baby are clueless,DH yesterday was mad coz i didn't help him with DD,i was having fun,DD got to show him what i put up with when he is at work and i am at home,now when she cries he is there to help,thank u DD:o

drskidthats the interesting thing,they are wonderful with other things,my DH i have no complains,its just that sometimes something is so obvious to you,they can't see it,how can he read the sports page when he can put it on the side,help u out for a few min,then get back to it?:osee what i mean,they are a funny people,i had to wake up when DH was already up watching telly,all he had to do was go to her ,change her nappy and feed her,he does that many times,oh,well,we can't win all,he is a super hubby and a perfect father,i will cut him some slack,i spent a month not knowing where my head was after DD was born,he did everything,,maybe a thread appreaciating them would be nice!!

I've realised I haven't posted since the meet-up and I don't want you ladies to think I'm off the thread again after having met some of you IRL!

It was lovely to meet, but of course it's always going to be a bit difficult to meet internet friends for real as it's so different from sitting at home typing and looking like a hairy trucker or whatever... The babies were all very cute and seem to enjoy looking at each other across the table.

Whether it's PND or feeling down or just being a mother of a baby, I think sleep deprivation doesn't help! Some days I feel quite down and those are normally the ones where I've had a really lousy night's sleep.

Trying to feed Isabelle more baby food at night hoping that she will sleep through (again) but no luck yet. Yawn. Giving it another month or so, then might try controlled crying or something.

Oh yeah, when me and Valium travelled to and from the meet-up together, she got offered lots of help with her yummy pushchair, and I didn't with my dodgy old MacLaren!

We went to Thomas Land outside Birmingham on Saturday, it was fun but exhausting. See some of you at Peppa Pig Land when it opens in April! :)