September 09 - Hello world, we're here to destroy you!

[ChutesTooNarrow]

So the last thread could be used as proof that September 09 (and an August!) parents were kept far too busy by their babies to talk about them very often! Shall we see if we can get this one done before second birthdays (eek, 2 is so big) are upon us?

DP is currently trying to convince Gabriel to sleep, can't hear any tears so my bum is staying firmly on the sofa (with cake )

Have a bath and go to bed ladyem, no point studying when you don't feel well.

Like it!!

I did the next best thing and took my text book to bed with a cup of hot chocolate!! So I managed to get the section I was supposed to be doing read, but still have to do the work sheet. That will be a job for tonight, I think. Woke up in the night with sleep paralysis which I always get if I'm ill or over tired, so DH had to wake me up properly. 3rd time it's happened this week. Luckily I can always move my feet so I just thrash them about until he hears me and gives me a budge to wake me up!!

Hope you all had a good night and the babies were well behaved. I have a new trick if J wakes up. I say 'Shhhhhhhhh' down the monitor a few times and he seems to think I'm in the room so settles back down!! And the bonus is that I don't have to get out of bed!!

No nursery today, so we are having a nice leisurely morning while DH snores away in bed!

Hmm, well due to his hangover DH has just made a start on the decorating! He's taking the radiator off so that he can attack the textured paint with his special pot of something or other he's bought online. Apparently it will turn it to the texture of wallpaper paste so we can scrape it all off tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

So I've spent the day keeping the DCs quite so that he could sleep it off and get cracking on it! Managed to do a bit more Xmas shopping, though!

Feel I should add that DH is not a drunken lout!! He just only goes out about 3 times a year, so can't hold his booze any more!!

Day 2 of decorating not going any better. DH still trying to get the walls clear, so looking like we'll be sleeping on the sofa for the rest of the week! (Was quite comfy, actually! )

Hope you are all having a nice weekend!

I was just going to leave you talking to yourself here ladyem, but can't the silence any longer :o

we left Oli to cry it out (with us in the room) last night, and managed 4 hours, by which time he finally fell asleep!! both DH and I had just totally lost our temper, so thought we'd stick it out until 11.30 pm (having put him down at 7), and then I'd pick him up and feed him - but he finally dropped off at 11! we plan on the same tonight - I'm getting a lot of reading done :o I feel so bloody guilty doing it, but he needs to learn to sleep by himself, and last night was the first time ever. We've been trying to put him down awake since he was tiny, and it's never worked, so maybe leaving him to scream is the answer. We got an awful lot of faces over the side of the cot at us, and at one point he was nodding off whilst sitting glowering at us - we watched his eyes drrop, and close, and thought 'woohoo!' but then they popped open again and it was back to

I was at a baby and toddler fayre yesterday and made some booby buns for the stall I was helping at - they got a lot of attention from little boys, oddly enough. I hadn't realised before just how wealthy our area is - there were so many immaculately made up women with their PFBs in iCandy pushchairs, all dressed up like they were off the catwalks. then us 3 on the la leche league stand in our cheapo clothes from sainsburies, trying to prop our eyelids open, and in one case mopping baby sick off her top. oh well.

hope the decorating goes well ladyem! we're starting on our christmas cards today, DH is deeply pissed off at missing out on valuable gaming time, so I've relented and let him play for 1/2 an hour whilst I MN :o hope you all had lovely weekends!!

Thank you for putting me out of my misery!!

Still no where nearer with the decorating. DH still 'prepping' the walls and I am now cracking the whip so I can get on with the painting!!

Well done, Oli for falling asleep all by yourself!! I hope that tonight he falls asleep a little quicker for you! And well done you for staying strong! It is so hard when you know that a cuddle will stop those tears. I remember feeling physically ill when we did it with DD, but she learned fast so it wasn't too prolonged. Must say, with J it was a more a case of 'I'll just lie you down in your cot for a sec while I put your sister to bed!' and by the time I got back he would be asleep, so I think that helped as I had to do it, especially if I was doing bedtime alone and I didn't have time to feel guilty about it . Second ones have to fit around everyone else!!

Hope you have all had more productive weekends than us!!

:o Ladyem, did some tumbleweed roll past here over the weekend?!

How was Oli's sleep last night kveta?

In the middle of about a billion things, back later - hope everyone is having a good Monday (is there such a thing?)

he managed to scream himself to sleep after 2 hours last night - but then woke up an hour later and wouldn't settle. Oh well, have told DH, we'll sort out one problem at a time - firstly sleeping by himself, then lengthier night sleeps.

I'm so tired today.

how's everyone else?

I'm here. Knackered. Gabriel was awake 11-3am, just wanted to comfort feed. God, he HOWLS when he doesn't get fed in the night. I was trying to distract him with water and a dummy and had to contend with DP wandering grumpily in every 20 minutes and being really unhelpful. I really wish Gabe would use a dummy, he like to hold onto one but it goes nowhere near his mouth

We didn't have the worst night ever but Mads was really unsettled, seemed to wake every hour or so for a whimper - but a whimper that can't be ignored without it turning into a full blown howl. Luckily he does like a dummy but then when we can't locate the stupid things it's like armageddon in his room

So of my list of a billion things today i've achieved practically none. I sat down in the armhair with Mads and his bottle, thought I'd watch a bit of skyplussed Grand Designs... an hour later we wake up

Another night of whimpering....

yeah me too...

MMR here today for DD

me three

hope MMR goes ok ladyem, lots of chocolate buttons on standby, I take it?

I think it's going to take a lot of chocolate buttons!

Sometimes I find that Mads settles better for DP than me, he certainly did when I was still BFing. It was torture to listen to but he was definitely more hysterical if I didn't pick him up as opposed to DP.

I'm hoping this whimper thing is just a short phase

Hop the MMR goes ok Ladyem, I've been known to dangle the option of choosing a magazine in front of J when he has anything like that now The thought of some garish coloured reading material with plastic tat sellotaped to the outside just seems to do it for him :)

Well, we went and she had it, but was so very upset by the whole thing. She's now on the settee watching Zingzillas with sweets! I had to basically sit her on my knee and hold her arms down while the nurses did an injection in each arm at the same time. She cried for an hour afterwards, so now I am cooking her favourite tea (pasta bake!) and trying to be very nice to her to make up for it!

Went to the GPs (different one this time) myself this morning for the anxiety thing as still no better and she basically told me to 'man-up'!! She said it was normal and that all mums feel like this. Didn't stop her from sending me away with a prescription for anti-anxiety meds, though!! I told her that I didn't think it was normal to feel like this and she said that some Mum's just accept it better than others! So that's 2 GPs who have dismissed it. May be I am just being a bit sensitive? Who knows? I give up! Oh, she also told me to take some vitamin C!! And that the GP who accused me of having an eating disorder would have been 'just joking'

Anyway, onwards and upwards! Hope you are all having a nice day! Lovely day here (weather-wise!) and if it's like this tomorrow we might go to the Zoo as it's been done up recently, so will be nice to see it finished!

ladyem. So what's the follow up then? Will you see how the meds go and see the same GP? Someone else? Could you get a course of CBT privately? I don't think you have had an appropriate response there really, I am on your behalf that you are struggling to get your feelings heard. I wish you could see my old GP, she was fantastic.

I have to go back next week, but not sure why as even if I take the meds they won't do anything for a few weeks. I've been given a leaflet for self-referral counselling, so I have to give them a call tomorrow and get an appointment. TBH I would rather go the counselling route as I have tried meds before and they didn't do too much. May be I was on the wrong ones, but I think I need to get some coping mechanisms to deal with my anxieties, rather than just have medication.

I'm just even more confused now. Not really sure whether to take the medication or try the counselling first. Also, I had written everything down so that I could just hand it to her, rather than try to explain through tears and she did read it, but didn't ask any further questions and just went straight into prescribing medication. I was all ready to have to really explain it, but I was probably in and out in 4 minutes and I had to ask to be given time to compose myself before leaving as I was a bit red round the eyes!! I don't know, may be it is just me being a wimp and I should just man-up!!

Sorry for the self-indulgent post

Off to watch Holby City with a big curry now!!

Oh dear God, what a useless GP! Ladyem, I'm also for you, you deserve much better. It's not about manning up (ffs) it's about being heard. Anxiety is terribly debilitating, but I agree that you need help to find the root of it, rather than throwing meds around willynilly. That said, a friend of mine has gone onto them for a time, as she found she was getting increasingly manic and stressed out over very little. For her, this is definitely a good thing. I just can't understand how, in this day and age, MH concerns can be invalidated with a dismissive 'get over yourself' type attitude.

Be kind to yourself xx

at your GP ladyem, what a useless and unfeeling woman! that said, I've heard that they often push drugs first, as a stop gap before counselling can be arranged, as they used to not give out the drugs so willy-nilly, and suicides/attempted suicides got worse. God knows how true this is, my parent's GP told them it when I was put on ADs. I hope you can find a decent GP who will not only listen to you, but also help, it makes such a difference when you feel like the person you're seeing gives a shit. Is your HV any good, she could be a good avenue for support?

speaking of health care professionals, we were at the GP again yesterday (I have a weird fungal rash on the top of my foot, which appears to be trying to take over my whole body, it's a bit grim - and I thought Oli had it too), and although Oli is fine on his skin, he's got another ear infection :( no wonder the poor thing isn't sleeping. The GP said his ears look quite bad, so it's possible the 1st ear infection never properly cleared up. DH apparently had recurrent ear infections as a child, which is why his hearing is so bad now. I'm hoping this isn't the case with Oli, as I can see a future of grommets and other nasty sounding procedures. (and as a side grumble, I thought breast feeding was meant to help protect against ear infections?! grr! remind me why I'm still doing it again?!). Great GP though, I've finally found the 2 GPs at the surgery who actually listen and don't dismiss me as a neurotic mother. Or maybe it's because I'm now Dr rather than Miss on their system?

oh well, I'll be off line for a few days as we're up to glasgow tonight - first plane journey for Oli, great fun with sore ears! still he gets to play with 3 dogs at the end of the journey, so he'll be happy (even if the dogs aren't!)

hope all is well with y'all!

Oh ladyem, how awful of them. You do deserve so much better, I am so that they have been so lacking in compassion. I'm sorry it's proving difficult to get the help you needed, it's a big step to talk to a doctor in the first place, how dare they dismiss you like that. I do wonder why some people go into caring professions when they don't care. You don't need to 'man-up' at all, you need help to tackle these issues. Do try to pursue the counseling if you can, it can be very beneficial. It might be worth trying the meds too, as though they aren't a solution long term they can very really helpful in the interim (if they work that is!). I agree with Kveta, can you try to talk to your HV, or perhaps a practice nurse who might be able to bollock the doctors on your behalf?

Sorry not to have a proper read and catch up but wanted to respond to you ladyem, will be back soon, all the best.

Thanks everyone. I'm not really sure what to do!! I have to have a telephone consultation with the counselling people so they can decide who I need to see and by what route, so I'm going to try to insist on one to one therapy as they like to do group work or even just give you a website for CBT exercises. I'm thinking I will take the meds. Not looking forward to the side effects, though.

I think I'll ring my HV if it looks like it might take a while to see the counsellor. I'd not thought of talking to her about it.

Thanks again everyone. I haven't told anyone in RL except DH, so it's nice to be able to talk freely.

Berry - do you mind me asking if your friend found the meds helpful?

Hope that Oli was OK on the flight, Kveta, and that his ear infection clears up soon! DD gets lots of fungal infections in her skin. When the GP told me she had ringworm I nearly had kittens as I pictured that tapeworm thing but apparently it's just like athletes foot!!

She does, she says it makes her feel calm, and not panicky and distracted. She comes from a line of ladies who can be quite OCD, neurotic (and I don't mean that in a ny patronising way, they just are and the first to admit it).

Ringworm sounds so bad doesn't it? I'm a bit about things like that :)

Hope you're having a good time kveta...

Now Chutes, have we forced you into a haircut yet or what?! :o

No, still musing on it. I also need to find a new hairdresser as mine had the gall to go gallivanting around the world.

My child woke hourly last night. Hourly, fgs. But somehow he is cheery and full of beans and I am broken. He has had a crazy developmental spurt over the last fortnight. Brain bits have clearly been fusing into place as seemingly overnight he was sorting shapes - no problem, clicking lego together - no problem. I am amazed that he is realising what things go together and will bring me two parts of something that belong together. He is also now understanding when we ask him to bring something to us, or point at something. Still no words, I have a feeling he might take a while to get talking though.

He is currently spinning round in circles until he collapses on the floor. It is so absolutely adorable I keep on getting teared up when I watch him (although the over-emotion may be due to the sleep deprivation!)

It is freeeeeeeeeeezing today. Hope everyone is warm and well.