AUGUST 2010 - welcome to post-natal :o)

[CherryPie3]

I know I'm not around a great deal lately but we don't yet have a PN thread - so here we are.

Love to all xxx

:)

(BTW you are not at pants mother .. you don't have to be super mum because I am sure 90% of us aren't. You have to be the best you can and remember your dd doesn't know any different - you are the only mother she knows so crap or amazing she can't judge!)

Cazzybabs, that's exactly how I see it too! Babies/kids haven't a clue, they look to you for that reassurance that everything is OK, so just try to do everything with confidence/intent iyswim. Doodley, how old is your DD? The only advice I'd give is to still be strong/strict in terms of going to bed. Don't give in to the guilty feelings cos you have nothing to feel guilty about. A new baby has arrived and your DD has to accept that. The DTs are playing up too, not doing what I say. I have to chase them, catch them and carry them most of the time! For me, them going to bed and sleeping are the most important thing. That is non-negotiable, so I don't put up with any play acting at bedtime or any tears or any waking in the night. They just get a cuddle and a 'time for sleep now' and close the door. They are still in cots though so a bit easier than if they were in beds, but even in beds I would put a gate on the door and even hold the door shut if necessary. You are not a crap mother, your DD thinks you are the best mum ever!

Kcoffin, that sounds really awful with your LO's belly button . Will it just clear up on its own - what is the further treatment they are suggesting?

Cazzy, DT2 had a inguinal hernia and had to have an op at 12wo. Are they going to do anything for your LO? Do umblical ones often get left for a while?

Daniel is waking once in the night now and we have his morning routine sorted - he wakes at about 8am, feeds, then goes back to bed at 9am for 2hrs. He then feeds again and has some awake time, I just have to try to get him to have another nap before he gets overtired. Might try putting him back in his cot at 1pm today, he'll have been awake 1.5hrs then so should be tired. He gets grouchy and overtired if he doesn't sleep and he doesn't sleep so well in the afternoons so far!

doodleydoo your ds will get better as he gets older. S has a lot of trouble with guts/wind, he was up from 3am today just screaming in pain unless I let him suck my finger and even then he was writhing around but he'll get better as he gets older. It's the same with your dd, it's such a massive change for her. My dd is 22 months but she's far more clingy than she used to be and doesn't like me putting her in bed/leaving her. You're not a rubbish mother, this is a very tricky stage and the pressure is all on you on top of the lack of sleep etc. I have Christmas in my head as a goal to get to and not to expect it to settle til then. I know it's miles off but it helps to think that by then S will be 5 months old and things should will have settled a bit. Until then can you find a way to let your dh take ds so you can have some time with dd? or do you have family who could take some of the pressure off by helping out? I find if we go out and dh carries ds and I run around after dd she's a lot happier having had some mummy-time. This will get better, it's a short phase in the grand scheme of things.

Flying post: a lady in my nct group has told me she is likely suffering from PN depression (has seen hv today and going to docs) I don't know her all that well but we get on really well and text most days as well as meeting up weekly. I wanted to try and do something nice - leave posh breakfast or afternoon tea on her doorstep for instance - but don't know if it might be overstepping the mark? Any comments or other ideas?xx

I think it's a lovely idea, unless she's very odd it'll make her day!

Second that. Really nice idea!

leave her a m&s or tesco finest meal deal - one of my friends did this for us when the dts were born and it is the only pressie dh remembers!

doodley, my ds (2.4) is constantly saying 'cuddle cuddle' to me atm. i get a few things done, then give him 10sec cuddle, then do a few more things then give cuddle etc. i cant cuddle him all the time!

Hi ladies - hope everyone is doing well - glad to see things are on the up for some of you that have had difficult times and especially that you got the tongue tie sorted Pample. I've heard some similarly useless (in GP terms) stories in RL including in one case resulting in my friend giving up bf as the doctor refused to snip on the basis that lo was gaining weight.

Sorry I have not been on for a while - I haven't even managed to read MN for a week or so but have about caught up now. Glad to see you got here in the end dogwalker!

J has had a really bad cold (caught from me - I guess passing on antibodies through bf only goes so far) and coupled with having his first lot of injections...let's just say we had a tough few days, poor little fella. I found the injections really hard, it's stupid and I know just me attributing my thought to him but he just seemed so shocked that someone would want to hurt him like that and I was very teary over the whole thing. Routine - what routine - absolutely out the window since he got the cold although if I complain about the fact that on a few nights I didn't manage to get him down for the night until 9 pm I suspect a few of you may shoot me We are about back on track routine wise but seem to have lost all the good progress we had made on getting him to self settle (not leaving him to cry or anything, we had just got quite good at recognising the right point to put him down in his cot when he was just at the right stage of tiredness and now all seems lost). I've also regressed on giving him a bottle of ebf each day but am going on a ladies night at the beginning of October so have something to aim for in terms of getting back on track.

I've got a really nice RL antenatal group but am the only one bf so sometimes feel like a bit of a freak so it is nice to get back on here and feel a bit less alone on that score.

Just been told that I am getting a bonus from work which will be super handy in the next few months as my 100% maternity pay comes to an end.

I've also got J booked in to nursery now for when I go back to work and am very happy with it so it is nice to have that sorted and be able to just forget about it for 5 more months now although he will start his settling in visits in January which seems very close - just 12 weeks to Xmas etc etc. I hate the thought of not being with him - these last 2 months have been the best of my life, I'm astonised at just how much I love being J's mum (and having worked full time since before I finished university I've enjoyed the time off and all the coffee mornings and lunches with friends too admittedly)

Neenz, know it was a long time ago now but saw your post about your DT being a bit rough with Theo. I hope you get that sorted out. One of my friends has a problem with her DS1 being incredibly rough with her DS2 and this year she and her DH resorted to taking separate holidays with the boys so that DS1 could get some individual attention from her DH and DS2 and my friend some respite! Hopefully it will never come to that for you but they have tried everything, naughty step etc to no avail.

Anyway, will try to keep up better with you all - CazEM, it was nice to hear from you and I just want you to know how often I think of you and I really hope this does not sound insensitive but I think I am a more patient mummy because of you - I just appreciate every second with J and know you would love to have that with Belle. I hope that going back to work has a positive impact and that things improve with respect to Jon's health soon.

Night all.

hi ladies!

quick rant - started off having a great day today. Dara slept for 5 hours last night, up for a feed/change and back to sleep again all within half an hour. Then DH was running a 10k with a friend today, so me and D went to cheer him on. B/F him almost in public (well...back of the car lol), put him in buggy, wandered round town, managed to get a takeaway coffee in a cafe with buggy in tow and make it to finish line to see DH finish. We went to my mum's for a couple of hours after and D was fine the whole time.

Then from half 3 until 11pm he hasn't slept for more than half an hour, crying loads, really red in the face, seems very uncomfortable - it really seems like the dreaded colic to me!! Had to take him out for long drive via Tesco to pick up infacol/dentinox drops even though I'm exhausted and we've just got him to go down in his cot but no idea how long he'll stay down for

Going to go up, stick my pjs on (v quietly!), get into bed and hope for the best but really expecting to be woken up again within next half an hour. It's really awful, so horrible to hear your baby screaming like that and nothing seems to work to calm him down. Praying these drops might do something but not holding out for a miracle

Hope everyone else is having a better Saturday night!!

It's so heartbreasking LittleMiss to see your LO upset and not being able to help them.

I am so so so very upset tonight. I've struggled with breastfeeding since the start - DD is 4 weeks old now and feeding has been real agony. Despite visits to GPs, breastfeeding counsellors etc, it wasn't improving but I persevered as bf so important to me. Plus DD gaining weight at a good rate so I wasn't worried about her. However she was becoming increasingly fussy at the breast, pulling away and refusing to latch on which was stressful for us both as well as mega painful for me. Then today was an absolute horror - screaming and fussing all day, on the breast constantly but not latching on or feeding. By 8pm she was almost being sick from screaming so we gave her one of those ready made cartons of formula and she chugged it down. It broke my heart to see her with a bottle - it really wasn't something I wanted to do - and I feel terribly guilty she was so ravenous.

I know it sounds stupid but I felt betrayed as she was so much happier taking the bottle then she was at my breast. Obviously her well-being is the most important thing to me but I had really hoped to bf her til she was 6 months and I am worried it's all over....I expressed earlier for the first time but don't know what tonight will bring. Any advice - is bfing all over for us? I know it's stupid but I feel such a failure and maybe vanity of sorts made me insist on trying to bf when she clearly wasn't happy.

i am almost finished a 10 day course of flucanazole for thrush but it's made no improvement. I am gutted, feel a terrible failure.

Oh LCR - massive hug. That sounds horrible. And no, it's not vanity to want to bf. You really are trying to give your LO the best start in life. I don't really have any advice as am struggling with bf myself - DS also wrestles, cries on the boob and won't always latch. We've had a lot of green poos the last 24 hours and I'm getting worried. According to the Womanly Art of BF, it might be oversupply, so am trying to follow their advice... Anyway, might be something for you to look into if it sounds similar? Also, why not try and find a few bf cafes/LaLeche meetings to go for moral support? Plenty of people seem to mix formula with boob and have good results, so don't be too downhearted. Lots of luck!

you have my sympathy LCR, when ds was born he wouldn't latch on at all and when i put my nipple to his mouth he'd make a face as if it was disgusting, then when we gave him a bottle of formula he guzzled it down contentedly as if it was the most natural thing in the world. I felt a bit rejected!
But we re-established bf (though still having difficulties). I don't think the odd bottle spells the end of bf, just make sure you express a bit to maintain supply. Maybe phone the bf helpline for advice on this?

we've had a rubbish night, i can't even remember how many times he's woken up, it's a blur. He normally only wakes once! after I fed him about 3-4, we noticed a patch of blood on the muslin which had been under his head. Couldn't work out where it came from but looked as if he'd been sick some milk mixed with blood. He seemed otherwise fine so we put him back in his basket but when he woke again about 5.30 there was another small patch of blood on the sheet by his head.
We phoned the doctor who said it's probably my blood, or ds might have a cold and it's from his nose (i have a cold). My nipples aren't bleeding though, i was using shields and their was no blood on them. Ds doesn't seem to have a cold and i can't see any blood in his nose so i'm a bit . He seems otherwise fine though so i'm not too worried, just a bit puzzled.

Oh. my. goodness. got S to sleep at 9pm, DD woke up covered in vomit at 10pm, bathed her, washed her sheets/pjs/bear/carpet, she threw up 2 more times and fell asleep at 11, S was up 1 til 2, slept til 4 then was up screaming from then on. I couldn't settle him so DH had him and I went downstairs but only dozed cos I could still hear him, went back at 6 to try and feed him then finally had a cuppa at 7, DD woke up, had a bit of milk and threw it all up over the carpet and S is still awake now [sigh] We were going to go for a pub lunch with a good friend to say goodbye but with DD vomiting we can't really do it and I've had so little sleep but still obviously have a full day ahead...I've totally double posted this on both the ante-natal threads so sorry for those of you who read both.

marzi that is odd...definitely keep an eye on it and phone someone if it keeps happening.

lcr it's not a complete failure to give a bottle of formula and it's certainly not the end of bf. S and I have had a right bitch of a start with bf and I still wonder if it's going to work. We had a problem with an awful latch and we're still working on it. He fights/pulls away/on-off-on-off and rarely feeds comfortably. He's got reflux/wind which is why he cries so much. He never really feeds for longer than about 6 mins and only ever on one side. I'm not sure whether it's cos the letdown's strong (it certainly doesn't feel strong and my boobs always feel empty) and he can't latch or cos he's just a dodgy feeder...who knows...it's still painful for me 9 weeks on but not half as bad as it was at 4 weeks. He's not gaining massively quickly either so I don't know what the deal is, I just know I don't want to give up bfing.

oh chulita, sounds like you had a much worse night than me :(. Really hope you have a restful day to make up for it and hope your dd gets better soon. Uh oh, ds has started squirming and crying, really don't feel like feeding him. But I will [sigh]

Hi guys - sympathies to those who had a crappy night. We just had our second great night - J slept through from 11 - 6 which was lovely BUT this came after 2 difficult weeks and the worst night ever on Thursday where he was feeding every hour so I do empathise and just want to say that things can sometimes go from horrible to fab overnight (and back again no doubt) ie "this too shall pass".

Hope your DD is better soon Chulita and you manage to get a nap today.

Marzi that is wierd - don't know much about the physiology of breasts but suppose DS could be drawing out some blood when he is feeding in the same way that babies are better at drawing out milk than pumps etc? It couldn't just be from a scratch or something could it? J has had baby acne and has occassionally taken the top of a spot scratching...

LCR - I hope you feel better today. I think it is very hard psychologically to give a bottle when you are both distressed and difficult to feel anything but negative about it. Hopefully you had a peaceful night and have a more positive perspective. J occassionally guzzles down a bottle of ebm and then on other occassions screams at it so don't automatically assume that your lo now has a preference for the bottle - maybe both of you being more relaxed will get things back on track for you now. And no matter what you did what you thought was best for your DD - how can anyone be a failure when they do that?

Hi everyone, I haven't been able to post in ages as we moved house a week ago and so it has been very mad around here. We are more or less settled now, and loving the new house.

My sympathies to those of you having bad nights, in lots of ways we have been very lucky with absolutely no problems (so far) with breastfeeding, Alex is now sleeping better at night and typically we get him to sleep at around 10.30pm, he then wakes around 2-3am, then again 4-5am, sometimes at this point I give up on sleep and get up for the day - other days he will go back to sleep until around 7.30am. I don't enjoy being woken at night but compared to a couple of weeks ago when he was waking for a feed every hour it is much better!

One problem I am experiencing is agonising afterpains, more or less every other day and always after the first feed in the morning. They come on very quickly and are as intense as labour contractions, have me in tears and unable to do anything other than moan and cry for half an hour. All that helps is hot water bottles or baths, and some ibuprofen. Because the pain was so severe I went to the doctors but he said it was definitely afterpains and didn't even examine me, is anyone else experiencing this? Its been 4 almost 4 weeks since the birth now, so I was surprised because I thought afterpains were meant to happen just after the birth - not this late? Oh well...

Other than that all is well here, I get the odd bout of feeling really down (I do today actually) and it hits without warning. I think I am still adjusting to the fact that I have no time to myself anymore! I'm either feeding the baby, changing the baby, comforting the baby or waiting for the baby to wake up while hurriedly attending to household chores. It is in stark contrast to my normal routine of running our business, and some days I feel like I am taking 2 steps forward and 3 steps backwards, achieving absolutely nothing. But I know this will pass, and deep down I am obviously very happy and so grateful for my precious baby boy.

Who has just woken up so I best go and attend to him :)

LCR really ope today is a better today.... tiredness and hormones and everything else can really make things seem insurmountable.
Well done on the great night Aussie......
Chulita hope that your daughter is feeling better v soon and that maybe you can snatch a bit of sleep (or at least quiet time?) in the day.... sorry it's mucked up your plans....
Can you ladies give me some advice?
Scarlett had two really great day-times the two days after her tongue tie was done (I think because she was able to access milk she wasn't before). However it's all reverted to madness again and in the average 24 hour cycle we get on average 2 x 3 hour sleeps out of her. The rest of the time she's feeding.... we might be able to put her off for 10 minutes, and she might sleep on us for 10 minutes (but if she goes in her pram or moses basket she's in such shallow sleep she wakes up straight away). This has been going on for 12 days or so now, and given that the two 'proper' sleeps aren't at night I'm exhausted. Apparently one of the effects of tongue tie is to bugger up your milk supply because of inefficient feeding, something that is really difficult to bring back around.

I'm determined I want to breast feed but reaching the end of my tether and it makes me v sad to see Scarlett in distress when we attempt to put her down. We've tried everything.... it's definitely not wind/colic, we've tried a dummy (she spits it out straight away)..... I just want to be able to feed her.
Expressing between feeds is of limited potential because in one of those 3 hour sessions I try to get some sleep, and in the other I manically run around trying to do the washing / food production / even occasionally (God help me) go out.
All of this is making me feel v down; I've totally lost my freedom. Today we went to a local town to attempt our 'coffee and pastry and papers' Sunday morning - lasted five minutes before she started to wake up so we bundled back into the car as had shopping to do. First bit of shopping in one area DH did because she needed feeding (she\d only been fed - for an hour - 15 mins earlier) so I got to enjoy one carpark, then another 30 minutes later while he did the supermarket shop!.....
Poor thing never looks satisfied after a feed :(
HELP!! I think I might go see the HV tomorrow as my GP is massively unsupportive of BF (as, it seems, is the entire practice (We're in the process of moving but it takes three weeks).

LCR - i've been mix feeding since day 5, breastfeeding is a wonderful experience but it can be hard work too and the occasional bottle of formula does not make you a failure and its not the end of breastfeeding for you either. hope today has been a better day...

pample - sorry to hear that, sounds really tough. i only had one really horrendous night like that just before my milk came in and it nearly broke me i was so tired and sore, so i cant imagine what days and days of it are like for you. apart from expressing and keeping your DD on breast as much as possible, the only other thing I've heard of for keeping milk supply up is as much rest and relaxation as possible. maybe you could get shopping delivered for next couple of weeks, load up on magazines and dvd boxsets and just try to chill out as much as possible and re-establish b/fing before you start taking on housework and everything as well? passes a bar of green and blacks caramel

D slept from about 12-5 last night and then from half 5 til 8, so not too bad in the end after his epic 9 hour screamathon yesterday. he still seems a bit unsettled today and uncomfortable after a feed but gripe water seems to help a bit and trying to b/f him as upright as possible. don't know if anyone else has this problem but i usually have a v good milk supply and quite a forceful letdown, which combined with a hungry baby who really gulps milk down seems to be the cause of the problem... found this article earlier on which has some good tips...

nervous about the evening we might have ahead of us but i've stayed away from caffeine all day and really hoping that might make a difference!!

wow pample, that sounds knackering. Sorry I don't have any advice, just to say well done for persevering so long.

On ds's blood thing, we took him to see out of hours GP as his poos have changed colour a bit and we wanted to make sure nothing was wrong. GP said it's quite common for babies to get a small burst blood vessel in their mouth which heals very quickly. He said it was probably that and examined him and said he was very healthy :)

LCR you re going through a really tough time with bf and add sleep deprivation, hormones and worry too,please dont feel guilty or betrayed.

Chulita I hope you re having a better night.

Pample you re doing great for your little one and hopefully the feeding will get better.

Rough night here with ds. He s 23 days old now. Didnt settle last night. Was awake from 6pm yo midnight. had his bath etc and feeding from 7.30. crying, fussing at the breast, windy and gassy and posseting. we ve been using infacol for over a week now. He s up now since 3.30 and feeds for 10 mins, falls asleep on me then wakes up when i put him in moses basket.

i dont know what to do and i m so tired and starting to feel maybe there s something i m doing wrong :(

anyway will try and get some sleep.

hope you guys have had relatively good nights

chickie - Our DS is 4 weeks today and for last couple of days he's been really gassy, fussy, crying, not really like himself. I've been doing all the research I can, but best tip I've found is to try and b/f him so he's more upright or uphill to the breast if that makes any sense? So he can regulate the flow of milk better and gulp down less air along with it.

Our DS also refused to sleep in moses basket about a week ago and he's been in his cot ever since cos he likes to throw his arms and legs out! So maybe it's a space issue?

Sleep deprivation is the worst!

D went down to sleep at half 10 last night, about an hour or so earlier than usual and didn't wake up til 4:45am!!! Once he was awake though, he was up for nearly an hour but then slept from 5:45 til about 8:30. He's still a bit grizzly this morning though, so can't see me getting too much done today tbh...

I just posted and it all vanished into the ether... Grrr.

I will attempt to precis... a good long sleep from 2am to 7am (yay go Elodie) was unfortunately preceded by a frankly horrible couple of hours getting her down where she would intersperse fervent sucking with piercing crying. Which was unfortunate as I had a splitting headache and the combination of the two was almost unbearable. But at least I got five hours in a row which was v good.

To all struggling with colic/bfing/wind/life my heart goes out to you.

Hi everyone,
Just wondering if anyone knows how it went for Lily? She was the last one left on the antenatal thread.
x