AUGUST 2010 - welcome to post-natal :o)

[CherryPie3]

I know I'm not around a great deal lately but we don't yet have a PN thread - so here we are.

Love to all xxx

:)

I've just started putting J in long sleeved vests under his babygrow and thinking about putting the heating on (yikes! think of the bills! we normally try and hold out til november but we've now moved to an old, cold and draughty house).

On the subject of bf clothes, i got some good basic tops from H&M. Some vest tops which have clips like nursing bras and some v neck tops with a bit behind the v that you pull up iyswim.

Glad you're finding the nursing chair comfy alice. I've been almost totally feeding J lying down but now trying to practise doing it sitting up so I can go out. I find it sooo exhausting. I have to wrestle him to get him to latch on and he keeps coming off so I can't settle down. My arms and back get so tired and i think he gets tired too cos he'll rarely feed like this for more than 10 mins (and then of course wants more 5 mins later) whereas lying down he'll sometimes go for 30 mins.

We find white noise (hoover) can be really helpful. Our baby monitor (BT digital one) has some lullabies on it and you can record your own so we recorded the hoover :)

by the way, those of you who are ebf, how runny are your babies' poos? J's are basically slightly lumpy liquid. Is that normal or does it sound like diarrhoea?

chickie some of my h&m stuff has multitasked nicely for bfing but i also got a brilliant bra and a few really good tops off a website called scrummymummy which id really recommend for stocking up on a couple of basics

eyebrow plucking on the loo - love it - amazing multi tasking!! i got fake tan on, plucked eyebrows and slapped a face mask on in space of a few minutes earlier. def getting quicker! but went to park with damp hair and no make up earlier oh well, at least id had a shower and my clothes were clean he he

alice - yay, enjoy new nursing chair!!

prob going to be a slightly hectic weekend with wedding tomorrow and friends visiting on sunday but catch up with everyone on monday - enjoy the weekend!

marzipanimal - seedy, bright yellow/orange liquid here! Not even lumpy really, and they fizz out of his bottm

lol moonunit just like Sam's where do the 'sesame' seeds come from?

yeah actually seedy describes it better than lumpy!

Hi ladies, :)

It's mid-September (already!) so thought I would check in, see how you are doing and given an update. Is everyone here now?

How are you all doing? Had a quick glance through and I hope the sore nipples improve soon! How are all the little babies doing? I've seen some peoples photos on facebook and they are totally gorgeous! MrsZac - loving the professional ones!

We are ok. I don't know what else to say other than that. Things are ticking by, and we're ticking by with it. Life is just a bit neutral I guess.

I cannot believe it is 12 weeks since Belle was born - its amazing how "quickly" that time has gone by. I say "quickly" because I cannot believe its already been 12 weeks, its all been such a blur - but on the other hand, the weeks also seem to drag by. Time seems to move very strangely now.

I had my 12 week post-bloods today. These are complex blood tests to check a range of possible blood disorders that may or may not have affected Belle. The blood has been sent around the UK. They will be repeated at 24 weeks too (December). We had to wait till 12 weeks to do them, because I couldn't have any pregnancy hormones left in my blood that could've affected the results.

So its all very ongoing. In many ways at the moment, time seems to be making it all more apparent, rather than it getting easier. I'm already dreading Xmas and Mother's Day. Although have bought Belle a beautiful glass bauble for our Christmas tree - its going to give me a reason to put it up. Inside the bauble there is an angel holding a star. Its really pretty and totally apt for her.

I really am suffering with "empty arms" at the moment and my heart literally aches at times. I find is astounding how different life was supposed to be, yet somehow we manage to do the normal mundane things like the food shopping. What else can we do but tick by.

Massive milestone we've achieved though is seeing a newborn. Our friends had their son at the end of August 4 weeks early. I couldn't hold him and I didn't want to, but being on the same sofa as him was huge. I'll be honest, if he'd been a girl, I wouldn't have been able to do that. That's another milestone, for another time.

I've started the process of returning to work. I need to be in work soon I think, because being at home all day on my own isn't helping me. Life is just too empty at home and theres only so much housework you can do! I've given my 6 week notice to return and will be back in the classroom after half term on a slow phased return basis. (Reduced hours and building up to a whole day as I feel strong enough to). Between now and half term I'm going to start going in once a week for a couple of hours to just get used to being around the children and my collegues again. Its all quite painful if I'm honest, because maternity leave wasn't supposed to be like this, and I wasn't supposed to be going back until next May at the earliest... I really do hate this new reality.

DH's problems are ongoing. I hope they give him a diagnosis soon - selfishly its all becoming too much for me on top of everything else. I think I'm running out of emotional energy. He's had nerve tests this week and a 2nd MRI scan. Waiting on another consultants appointment now.

Something I am finding comfort in is attending church again. I grew up going to church, and now I think I've finished being angry with God I found myself drawn to go back to church. I still don't understand why he needed her for an angel but going gives me some peace on a Sunday morning anyway.

We're going for a week away the week after next, only to mid-wales and with my parents. But I think the break will do us the world of good. Lots of fresh air, peace and relaxation!

Well its nearly Autumn and I'm really looking forward to the arrival of Belle's rose in the next month or so! :) It will be the perfect thing to greet people as they arrive at our house! We don't have a garden as such see, but a little front patch, and we're going to put it right next to the front door! I will post pictures!

Realising this isn't really a very uplifting post, probably wasn't the best time for me to check in as I'm not in a great place. But wanted you to all know I'm thinking of you and the babies - now all babies should've arrived!

Much love to you all, Caz xxxx

ok half way through catching up whilst expressing!!

Thank you for all your support ladies, I can't believe how many have thrush - those dam antibiotics!! Great news today, Nieve is back up to her birth weight - yippeee!! she's just a bit of a slow learner ;0) but I was reminded today that she did loose quite a bit of weight so it was quite a mission to get her back up to this point. Long may it continue... not just to get rid of that dam thrush! .....Been reading up on thrush symptoms and wind/colic and general unsettled baby is one of the symptoms to it's mission clear up the thrush to get my lovely settled baby back!!

moon (I think) Nieve had super nasty nappy rash, presumably due to her thrush, timodine has done wonders for her bottom! and I'm using Daktarin on my nipples and the gel for her mouth.

Re: swaddling, Nieve loved to be swaddled in hospital and since has gone off the idea, she prefers to have her hands out and about.

also re: clothing, Nieve has real nappies so that keeps her warmer than disposables anyway but I usualy either have her in her vest in the flat or in her vest and sleepsuit when out and about.

best go, dinner ready! how I'll miss my dinner being made for me :( will hopefully catchup on the other half of the posts later.

x

Cazzy let me know how you get on next week - I can't imagine having 4 of them to contend with, especially the way Nieve is just now!

CaZ lovely to hear from you :)

I think of you all the time and I do feel bad moaning about the trials and tribulations of motherhood because I know I wouldn't change it for the world. I hope that one day soon you will discover this for yourself. I think the glass bauble for christmas time is a great idea, a subtle reminder of your little one.

I think your right, going back to work will help a lot, it will be hard at first but getting on with every day life is what helps you through such times. Being around people that aren't protecting/sheltering you is an important step. You really are doing so well, especially with all that's going on with your DH's health problems, and I know what you mean about wanting it all to blow over, it's not selfish at all you've been through a lot and it's a justified feeling.

My friend Julie did a lovely job of her photos, I had a go myself but it's hard to photograph your own baby (or find the time!!) I wish with all my heart that you could experience the screams, poops, widdles and cuddles that I have over the last three weeks, and I'm sure that one day you will.

chin up my darlin' your an inspiration to us all x

Good morning!

I read all your posts nightly through a veil of sleepiness and often tears with the ouch ouch ouch of breastfeeding.

Sadhbh is 3 weeks now and gaining weight having exceeded her birth weight of 8 lbs 3 and is now 9 lbs 4! Breastfeeding has been a total mare - I've been to the GP 3 times and been told 3 different things. Yesterday I left with the whole flucanzole / dakartin caboodle to combat thrush so hope that will nail it once and for all. I've had breast feeding consellors, cried on the health visitor you name it but each feed is so excruiating and boobs sore all the time. But I really really want to do it and make a success of it so am determined to persevere for now.

Lovely to hear from you Caz. I think often of you, Belle and Jon. You might not feel like it now but your strength and love for your little girl are an inspiration. Sending you lots of love and hugs, you are so strong and a wonderful amazing mother to Belle xx

Hi all....
alice mentioned that one or two of you had been asking after me, so I thought I'd better post! -- how much detail I go into depends on how long Scarlett stays asleep for, and as I can hear little squeaks I don't hold out much hope!
Caz lovely of you to post again, the bauble idea sounds just perfect and I hope your return to work is as smooth as can be expected.
Well, after having a delight of a daughter for all of seven days after my milk had come in, she's been struggling a little bit. We found out Scarlett had a tongue tie, which acts as a good explanation for the state of my nipples (I'd got to the point I couldn't actually feed without sobbing despite painkillers because it felt like someone was sticking sherds of glass in them)..... Breastfeeding counsellor and health visitor said to go to the Drs to get a referral (Scarlett also mega windy and looks like she's in a lot of discomfort for hours at a time... in fact the only 'symptom' she doesn't have is weight gain problems... she's now 11lb ish at 3 weeks but I think this is a product of the 5 hour cluster feeds I'm subjcted to at least once a day....).
Anyway major politics in this area re: tongue ties as GPs have now taken the power of referral from the health visitors / midwives (cost cutting - and they have targets to meet). Our GP told us S didn't need the op before even looking in her mouth and said she 'looked fine weight wise' before asking (a) how old she is or (b) looking in her notes at S's weight gain. We basically kept insisting (she kept insisting HV and midwives misdiagnose) because we at least want an assessment with the consultant (and the medical literature I've read says (a) the extent of the tongue tie isn't an indicator of difficulties feeding - S's is only partial and (b) 98%ish of babies with tongue ties feed better after the op)..... It was an absolutely nightmare, she eventually invited another GP in who told us 'they didn't like putting babies under general anaethetic for a thirty minute procedure if it was unnecessary'. When we pointed out that until they reach the toddler stage the procedure is done without anaesthetic and takes 30 seconds she was rather floored, so I'm pretty sure she was deliberately lying rather than misinformed. Anyway we eventually got our referral (if it ever gets there, the same GP 'accidentally' sent the referral to the hospital that doesn't do the procedure for her daughter) so I'm hoping it gets there soon.
In the meantime I'm rather struggling to cope and thing I'm probably verging on PN depression. My section scar isn't healing properly so I have to go to the Drs on Monday for some antibiotics, which apparently will give S diarraeoh (sp!!!).... great. Getting not v much sleep and DH now has the flu so I've packed him off to his parents. I'm feeling v teary and getting things done like thank you cards and the washing (or not, as is the case) are taking on disproportionate importance. Added to all of this, I'm really struggling with the fact that my Dad hasn't even acknowledged S's birth (we have a difficult relationship, mainly because he neglected to tell me about his new family for seven years and stopped the maintainence payments he was legally obliged to make without notice when I was at Uni, as well as a load of other stuff....).

Anyway I'm sorry to be whiny and self centred, just have a bit of a tough time. I promise I'll update again when things are getting a bit easier.
Love to all xxx

pample, hopefully geting the tongue tie sorted will make everything easier. don't worry about thank you notes and don't wash anything unless it is dirty - i am not putting the dts stuff in the wash after every wear like i used to. dont worry if you have to leave the baby crying for a bit to get stuff done. Daniel is left to cry loads cos I have two 2yos to look after too! Don't put too much pressure on yourself.

How are everyone's older children doing with the new baby? My DTs are only 2.4 and DS is really rough with Daniel, always hitting him and leaning on him. He obviously doesn't realise how rough he is but he does know not to do it (when I threatened him with going straight to bed he stopped), but he still does it . I don't know how to get him to stop except to just stop him from going near Daniel, which I don't really want to do. Time out would probably work but it is difficult to administer time out when I am feeding the baby!

CazEm, lovely to hear from you and sorry you are having a rough time. Totally understandable that life is hard and every day is a struggle. I really hope getting back to work can help you, as well as the passage of time. Just remember that one day soon you will have a little sister or brother to Belle and life will be so much brighter. It's great that you have found some peace from going to church. I felt the same when I had a mc a few years back. ((((hugs))))

pample at what you've been told re tongue tie, my friend had her little girl's tongue tie cut while the baby was asleep, she didn't even notice and it took about 30 secs. We were going to have Sam's cut but I waited too long and he outgrew his (it was only minor) so it's not a huge procedure at all!

cazEm thanks for writing, I'm sure you know that we all think of you. You're being so strong through all this, I really admire your honesty and your perseverance. As neenz says, one day you'll give Belle a sister/brother. I hope work gives you something to focus on.

Neenz DD pretty much ignores Sam unless he's thrown up in which case I get an 'oh no'. She will help bath him as long as she can pour water on his head I think until he's more responsive she won't really notice him iyswim!

Pample I really feel your pain. We had Eli's Tongue tie sorted this week - very supportive midwives here, thank goodness. God knows what our crap GP would/wouldn't have done about it. Anyway, it really does make feeding better for both of us. I hope your appointment comes through soon. In the meantime, hugs for you.

Alas, off the back of the tongue tie snip, Eli and I now have thrush. Feeding is therefore still painful and stressful. This is so, so hard. I just want to start to enjoy him and settle into life a bit more. Oh well, everyone tells me it will get easier.

Caz so nice to hear from you - it's great to get your updates. As others have said, I think of you often.

Oh cazem :( at 'empty arms'...I can't begin to imagine it but I guess now the dust has settled & you've remembered Belle in all those lovely tangible ways & are left literally with nothing but time on your hands, that's exactly what it must feel like. I hope it's not too hard when you come on here & see the moans because if life was fair you'd feel like the rest of us - having both hands to yourself to even make a cup of tea is a luxury...but of course the flip side is that if we haven't held our babies for a few hours, we can't wait to hold them again. It's a cruel part of the grieving process that Mother Nature can't switch off those physical instincts. You are doing great..keep the faith, spiritually & in your own very strong mothering instincts...going back to work sounds like a good plan to get back to some sense of normality but be kind to yourself. I bet 2011 just can't come quick enough - you really deserve a clean sheet.

gotta go...hear howling.

Hello ladies

Caz thank you for continuing to post, it is so lovely to hear from you. I just wish we were able to be of some real help to you with so much going on. Anything we can do at all though, please ask

Pample so pleased you made it back, sorry you are having such a rubbish time. My sister had her DD's tongue tie cut with no problems at the hospital (the one you had S in) She was a big baby, ebf and never lost any weight either, so that is a load of bollocks! Hope you get it sorted, sometimes you have to stand up tall and use your best condesending tone in order to get things done (bitter voice of experience - hard to be intimidating at 5ft3 and looking like a 12yr old though )

Neenz and Chulita DD is a bit rough but in a 'loving' way iyswim? She is learning to be more gentle and has been very helpful fetching me things. I was so worried how she would react but she loves him. Sh likes to laugh at him when he cries though and yes to pouring water over him in the bath!

News here is that F is still suffering with the colic, but is sleeping better. A drop of lavender oil in a quite warm bath seems to really chill him out when he has the colic and he loves his feet and legs massaged too.

There are lots of baby massage courses available (some places have free ones run at the childrens centre) and would recommend them. Did them with DD and it was really nice. Waiting til January before taking F though as DD should be at preschool then.

quick post to send love to caz

Alice glad the colic is easing a bit, I think Infacol is working better now for us, though Daniel now has a cold too and was all bunged up last night. I propped him up on a pillow cos he was in bed with me which helped a bit (prob a big co-sleeping no no but we were in the big spare bed without DH so I think it was OK). May have to put him in the moses basket tonight propped up. He is asleep in it now so fingers crossed.

How is the nursing chair?

Just been to check on Daniel in the propped-up moses basket - he has slipped right down to the bottom and his legs are all bent under him. He is still sleeping soundly though so who cares

Has anyone used the biological nurturing position for breastfeeding?

hello ladies!

neenz et al - we moved Dara out of his basket today and into his big boy cot!! we've also moved the cot into our room even tho space is at a premium but the good news is that (so far) he seems to be preferring it a lot to the basket because he likes to sleep with his arms and legs all spread out and the basket was just a little bit too small and his hands kept hitting the sides and waking him up. he looks tiny in the cot but he seems much happier and it's much easier for me to see him. but i can't believe he's 20 days old and in his cot already!!!

Pample - Its rubbish how forceful you have to be to get a referral. This week I need to follow up and get myself a physio referral for SPD and see where the appointment for Dara to get a pelvic ultrasound has gone, since it was supposed to arrive last week. Ho hum. Really hope the op makes a difference for Scarlett and for b/fing

Yesterday we made it out to the wedding for about 4 hours, including driving time. Was lovely to get all dressed up and was v chuffed to fit into such a tiny outfit and have substantial b/fing cleavage to show off. Only had a couple of glasses of champagne but really went to my head!! Thankfully D was really good and slept well last night tho... Don't think we'll be leaving him again for a while but really glad we made the effort to go to the wedding, see friends and enjoy ourselves for just a few hours - being a mum is amazing but its nice to remember the pre-mum, pre-pregnancy days as well, just for the afternoon!

Hope everyone else had a good weekend :)

Littlemiss, sounds like you had a lovely time at the wedding, you're right it is nice to kick back a bit and enjoy a few drinks! It's amazing how quickly they grow out of their moses baskets - they are possibly the biggest waste of money for that reason. Look cute though. We never had them for the twins and for Daniel we are actually using the carrycot from my sister's pram.

Moonunit, I'd never heard of BN, but googled it and there is a cute video here. Are you doing it? Looks a bit uncomfortable but seems to be saying it is more natural or better for latch? I suppose I probably have BF like that a few times bit not cos I knew it was a special position.

Neenz - yes you basically just lean back with the baby on your tummy and let them find the nipple and latch on themselves! I tried it today with ds and it seemed pretty good, he managed to get a great latch first time with no help from me. I leaned back on the sofa surrounded by cushions so it was comfy, plus I had both hands free. I really wish I had known about this before, we'd have saved ourselves a lot of trauma in the hospital trying to get newborn ds to latch on if I could have just leaned back and let his instincts find the nipple. Instead had midwives grabbing him by the neck and pushing his head into my breast, distressing both of us.

Morning all, hope you all managed to catch a few zzzzs last night even though it's never enough!

I've got 2 silly questions from a clueless first timer (yes, me)..... The first is that LO farts all the time, constantly (and they stink). Is this normal or could she have wind problems requiring infacol? Is it right that infacol is given before every feed? Seems a lot!

Second question is regarding boobs - I wake up in pools of milk from leaking breasts but can't bear to sleep in bra as I'm so very sore and tender. Plus I would have thought wearing a breast pad that gets wet would contribute to thrush? Are you all sleeping in bras and pads?
Xx

Hi
If she is uncomfortable with the wind then the infacol is very good at getting the wind up before it becomes a problem iyswim?

I am sleeping in a bra and breast pads, but lots of people put a towel down and sleep on that instead

Hope that helps

Now going to attempt to put this baby down for a minute while i drink a cup of tea...