Dec 08 Ladies - LIghtning Strikes... and the usual gossip!

[Beans33]

Hope this works for everyone - I'm assuming Summer won't give birth in the next few hours!! x

lurking, but can't let jj's post go... my love, a really good friend just had a torrent of blood and she is 14 weeks - the hospital they went to couldn't get a scan/doppler until after the bank holiday weekend, so they spent ages thinking it was the worst. in the end they found the heartbeat easily, scan showed there was a haematoma (bruise???) in the womb, which was causing the bleeding - maybe you could ask about this?? it really probably is fine, but it is so worrying. sending as much white light as i possibly can.

oh, ladyt - sorry to hear about the row - glad it has been made up - adn you are doing so so much - i can barely believe it.

and trace - mooncup - really????

night night x

Oh Jump, poor you. Really hoping its all ok. Lots of love your way. Could be low lying placenta you can bleed with that a fair bit.

Hiya, 12 week scan today was all fine so can finally go public, phew, I'm crap at keeping secrets.
JJ sending lots of white light and calming thoughts your way.
Trace, Mooncup sounds eeeew, but then I am a complete wimp about such things!
Night all x

Sending lots of love and positive thoughts to you JJ and fingers crossed for Miss S being a well behaved treasure for the next few days. God bless. Am thinking of you.

Good news on the scan Katie. Well done.

Anyone in touch with MOM? She#s been AWOL for weeks.

Still coldy here and struggling to be honest as have work tomorrow. Am sure will be fine once I get there.

JJ: Take care of yourself. Have you got anyone to help out over the next few days? Hope they get the scan sorted soon. Sounds like the baby is fine, but you'll want to know what's happening.

Sybs: hope you feel better soon.

JJ Take it easy, I know thats not going to be too easy over the next few days. I remember when pg with DD there was a woman in my ante-natal class that pretty much bled on/off for her whole pg - and she had a lovely healthy bubs. I can't quite remember the reason why now...sending you much love.

katie hooray for your scan...so when are you due?

sybs Hope you feeling better.

trace the mooncup sounds like a good idea, I have heard of them before.

DH and I had a corker of a row yesterday...I could have happily rammed his head into a wall! Still its been a least a couple of months since we had a really good row, so I guess things are looking up

Thinking of you JJ - I'm sure all is well.

Beans - yes sleep is improving for me as dd slept from 10pm-0430 last night! And with strict instructions from the HV not to wake her for feeds - happy days - don't have to tell me twice!
HV weighed her yesterday and she has gained a pound in a week so is now 8.5lbs and seeming happy. She's 5 weeks now.

Yes Spot I would love visitors after parents leave.
Don't think I have much on at all after that so we'll sort out a day soon!

Congrats Katie -

Gotta run.... back later

JJ Thinking of you and the BabyJJ. I hope your DD behaves like a model toddler for you while your DH is away.

LadyT Glad that you have made up with DP. Take it easy and don't over stretch yourself on the house.

Katie Congratulations on the scan!

Deirdre Your positive attitude to the row made me smile. How often do you and your DH have a date night? Just being nosey as DH and I need to do the same.

Sybil Hope you feel better soon.

Have been lurking only, so sorry if I've missed lots. Have been feeling crap over the last few days, but better today .

Kayz Thanks for adding me onto the FB Group. I've added myself on the who we are discussion.

Oh dear, screaming coming from downstairs, better go and break it up.

Hello ladies sorry only just arrived back off the boat. Haven't read anything of the last few days since the meet up but just wanted to say we had a really lovely time. Was so lovely to finally meet Bisou, Jam & Avo, bit sad I didn't actually properly meet Nolda, I didn't know you were there love! Also not sure why but a bit taken aback that Jam had a Scottish accent is that bad! Lovely seeing all of you, wished I'd managed to actually speak to Kiwi, Jam & Effie properly but feel at least i got to speak to Urbane, PD, Summer, JJ, Bisou & lady a bit more than usual. Urbane DS1 just loves your DS1, I asked him if he remembered him from last time and he said 'yes but I think he was wearing a different shirt?' so well done Urbane on putting him in some different clothes. Also PD & Lady after rushing off so I would get stick on busy tube it was really quiet so I could have stayed longer!

The rest of our trip was wonderful met up with dear friends had a fantastic London birthday for DS1, a pirate day on the golden hinde (highly recommended), & a lovely christening.

Right gotta go pick upmDS1 from school as it's a half day.

hello
jj I'm praying that all is ok with your baby and that dd behaves like a dream for you while your dh is away. Is there anyone else who can help out if things get a bit much?
Vag that pirate birthday sounds great. Glad you had a good time.
Nolda good to hear you're feeling a bit brighter today. Hope things are going ok at home. Did you get some counselling?
I've just been to town to meet a friend who I worked with on the children's ward. We both left and got new jobs at the same time and I've not seen her for almost a year. Anyway she was pregnant but miscarried at 11.5 weeks in Feb, but is now pregnant again and is 10 weeks, but feels much more pregnant this time, so hopefully this one's going to be ok. She has massive fibroids so her bump is already measuring about 20 weeks, but the consultant thinks should have no problems with pregnancy - they will treat it a bit like a twin pregnancy because of the size, but will prob need a section a bit early. It's taken ages to get pregnant, because of the fibroids, and she had to have some fertility treatment, so I'm absolutely thrilled for her. She looks so well, but is feeling tired and nauseous, which is fab
I accidently bought a dress and a cardigan in a charity shop while I was there - total £6 so I don't feel too naughty
Back to school and work tomorrow Is it very sad that I'm looking forward to work? I really do enjoy my job
Hope you new mums and pregga ladies are managing to get your feet up.
Oh and I loved the idea (was it Jam or Aubs?) of pretending you are supermum with a film crew following you round! P has just gone for a nap so I might make a lasagne for later - just to impress the cameras!

nolda DH and I are trying to have a night together on our own at least once a month. Its hard having to get babysitters etc and last month DH said he counldn't be bothered to even go out. But I made him and once out we had a really good night.

veggie hello, welcome back, glad you enjoyed your trip

Sorry bad grammar there. The birthday & pirate thing were separate events. The pirate thing was a pantomine on the Golden hinde.

Veggie Glad you got back home safe and sound. Sorry we didn't get to chat at the meet-up. I was a bit shy and you were in such demand!

Trace Good news about your friend. I hope everything continues to go well with her pregnancy. I did phone up about counselling to check what sort of waiting time there was but it's only about a week or so. However, after yesterday when I was back to behaving like a jealous, suspicious crazy lady, might leave it a bit longer until I'm more likely to be able to keep it together in front of the counsellor.

Deirdre I hope your DH won't be so difficult to get out the door next month! About once a month would definitely be achievable for us but I think DH would like more. He also wants us to sail together again which fills me with horror, as I usually ended up swearing at him even when we were all loved up.

My excitement of the day is that my new shoes have arrived. They are these ones and are very comfy.

Better go and take the monkies out in the sunshine, see you later.

Hi all, thank you lovely ladies for your wishes, the scanning dept said no need to go in after all if the midwife had a good listen yesterday. DH also saying that it shouldn't be a worry, but you know what it's like, hard not to. I think I felt the baby moving yesterday though it might have just been indigestion

Nolda - those shoes look fab, I'm so bored of all these totally flat shoes that have no padding in the sole so it's as if you're walking on cardboard.

DH getting ready to leave so will have the laptop to myself tonight, will try to catch up properly :)

JJ I'm sorry to hear your having worries again, but do think it's funny that you are happy about DH leaving so you have laptop to yourself.

Have literally just finished 'one day'. Knowing the big piece of information about it through the paper in London didn't really ruin it for me, & after finding some bits annoying I quite liked it in the end, at least as an easy read anyway, & for the London location references. Lady I'm of 2 minds about the iBook thing now. I can't now hand this onto DH to read now which is annoying. However, it does make it very easy to get English books which can be quite expensive over here. Will be handy for book club.

Poor DS2 is a bit out of sorts he was desperate to go to bed early so I put him down at 6.39 but he's up again now. I thought he was just tired from last nights trip home on the boat but he is really miserable but could be the last push of the teeth.

JJ - v glad you've been told not to worry. I know what you mean about the worrying.

I've had a lovely day at lunch with some old school friends. DDs behaved impeccably and I had a sudden wave of well-being while I was there. Felt v happy. AND my dad is popping up next week for the evening and taking DH and me out to CHEZ BLOODY BRUCE! So excited! Have booked a sitter and bring it on!

Nolda - DH wants us to sail together again, but luckily I've got a few years before we have to - too scary til nippers are a decent age!

Right, contact lenses out so I can concentrate on Paris Hilton's BFF. I thought it was Best fecking friend!!! oops!

Oh & meant to say Nolda, don't put the counsellor off maybe now would be the best time. I'm impressed with the short waiting time. I had a friend attempt suicide a few years back as she was quite depressed and she was put on a waiting list of 6 months to see a counsellor!!!!

Hi Superbeans, you are clearly a model mummy :)

Hello all,
jj glad they have said it's nothing to worry about..still a scary though. Try and take it easy. If you want something to do over the weekend to keep DD entertained we could always meet up as I am not doing very much I don't think!!

beans you are supermum, I can't yet imagine going for lunch with both of them on my own (have done it with DH and that is tiring enough!) Hurrah for 8hrs also, it gives me hope.
ladyt we have a breakthough in that DH has agreed to use new approach to feeding. Hurrah! We have also agreed to eat together in the evening all together at least 2, probably 3 times a week. This should be easier now I am on mat leave as I can at least bung things in the oven before we would normally be home. Today is the second day of doing it though and the first day DS threw everything on the floor after eating almost nothing. I gave him a banana after and that was it. He woke up at 2:30am hungry for the first time in about a month. So I thought DH would say we couldn't do this any more but fortunately DS then slept until 8:45 am so he made up for the 2:30 wake up and Dh wasn't too miffed.

Tonight we all ate together - home made burgers - DS only really ate the bun and a bit of cheese but he did try some rocket and burger of his own accord which was a massive result. He has also moved up a room at nursery this week where they are more hands off with food so the whole thing may be a bit of a shock to the system for him - yikes. I am wondering if we have bitten off more than we can chew, but DH is in agreement that whether or not it works as a method it's also massively easier not to cajole and persuade him!!

ladyt I have a couple of questions for you about the whole method though - sorry don't answer if you are fed up of these questions, or if you haven't time - do you give them enough "food that they like" such that if they eat all this it should fill them up?? What do you do if they ask for more of what they like when they haven't eaten what they don't? And you said it's good for them to be fed by others - do you tell them the way you want them to be fed or do you just leave them to it? E.g. MIL likes feeding DS but she would NEVER agree to feed him with this method, she's very much of the "Let me do it, he WILL eat for me" way of thinking (which is kind of annoying but at least she helps!)

beans what is BFF?

trace fab news about your friend. And well done on those charity shop purchases.

Is there something about sailing with your DH - my friend and her DH had to give up sailing as they fought so much. Apparently she chucked him overboard and sailed off as he annoyed her so much! Can't wait til DD sleeps well enough for DH and I to have nights out. Hopefully should not be too long in the grand scheme of things!

DH is back to work tomorrow afternoon - yikes. DD is not yet sleeping very well, she will go 4 hrs sometimes but she is really hard to get back to sleep, often about 2hrs a time. SO I am going to be knackered, but hopefully she should get easier to settle soon.

Right had better go now, bed v soon!

nolda - do it NOW - now is the time to go, especially if you feel like you might lose it in front of the counsellor. that's their job. seriously - these periods of instability and distress are potentially periods which can be really fruitful: where change can really happen, where you can explore areas of your life which seemed previously to be off-limits. the more vulnerable you feel, the more there is the potential to change, and change is what it's all about. oh, and change is always uncomfortable. anyway, lecture over, my love - do what you want, of course. that was my ha'penny's worth.

everyone on fb check out beans's wedding photos - what a stunner!

can i ask people about what beans called "booking a sitter"??? we've almost always put madam to bed on our own - dad's ladyfriend can do it, too, no problems - mil has occasionally done it (getting more confident), a friend has once, inadvertently done it (i was running late and had to go). we once booked a sitter from an agency, but we put her down before we left. we now realise we need a life and need to leave before 8pm in the evening - how do you do it? do you get people from an agency? do you have a regular person who knows your babe well? do you leave detailed, copious notes? i can imagine leaving a bullet-pointed, step by step guide, including when to move her from your left arm to your right etc etc. oh, you all think i'm a control freak now, don't you? anyway, any thoughts most gratefully received. we've got 3 dates in one week in sept when we both have to be out - it's dh's recordings of series 4 and i really really want to be there, so we're trying to find someone. and maybe to do it twice a month to give us some time off.

veggie - I did have a bit of a weep as he left, partly from missing him and partly from my petrified terror of having to deal with dd on my own for the first time but yes, there are good things too eg getting to starfish all over the bed, and eat stuff he doesn't like!

Firstly - WG, hope you've realised that you're so not a rubbish mum at all. I know exactly what you mean by "weekday" with dd, that's a very good way of putting it.

Deirdre am giggling at your Junior blunder. I mean they may as well have called the child "The third" if they're going down that road... but definitely a bit about weaning a baby who's effectively only a week old. If it's all being supervised by a proper paed then fine, but not sure how much faith we as a whole put in HVs.

Avo - spot has it bang on, eat cake! No point looking gorgeous (which you do anyway) if you then faint. Hope you're having a fabby time in Wales.

Rubs great news abotu the weight gain, the whole feeding programme is confusing me a bit but the main thing is that she's feeding lots. Hope the exploding boobs are under control soon!

LadyT you're pretty knackered what with all the house/pregnancy business, sounds like DH needs to take it a bit easy on you. Glad you made up and had a nice meal - where's your fave Ox restaurant, we've had some lovely meals at Gee's (if that's the one in the conservatory) and also a place called Fishers.

trace ditto take it easy on yourself, your SIL doesn't have a kid yet so has plenty of time for baking and frills! It seems pretty standard for people to be keen for the school term to start and life to get back to normal :) oh and mooncups, I found it great and definitely prefer to tampons, there's something somehow cleaner about it in my mind.

Jam we shall have to change your name to Jam Jam Superglam with that jumpsuit!

toddlerisms - we don't get hitting or biting but we do get a lot of crossness when we're out and about, she loves wearing her little life rucksack but heaven forbid anyone actually hold onto the reins part (let alone her hand...). She gets in a strop and just sits down on the ground. This gets amused glances from passing adults who've obviously been there before, but gets pretty bloody annoying the tenth time in one walk from the bike park to the library. Oh and she's absolutely determined to put her feet on the table at meal times (she can do this since we took the chest bar bit off her tripp trap, she kid of slides around inside the harness, does the box splits and sticks her feet up at chest level on the table) and while I know we should be picking our battles, I really don't feel that's acceptable behaviour in case she starts doing it when we're out and about, it can end up being a bit of a fight and we just put her down instead.

beans - welcome back! That skin bruising and rash sounds a bit scary, definitely one to get the doc to check out.

Am just being a bit frustrated by a bloke I called about painting our windows - he called just as I was putting dd to bed, so took his number and said I'd call back at 9. Have tried both mobile and home numbers, neither of which has an asnwerphone and he's not answering either. Grrr. Why would a tradesman not have an anwering machine? Will text him instead and see if that works.

oh massive x post. WG re putting to bed - erm, it's only ever been us. Our social life is so feeble at the best of times [mini violin] that we have had my dad come over a couple of times, and my mate C for choir rehearsals, but always after she's gone to bed. We've put her down a few times and left while she was still burbling, but nobody else has ever done the bath/stories bit. I would think the ideal is to find someone regular if you can, and then kidnap them so they're always there when you need them let dd get to know them really well. I still think fondly of Melanie who used to look after me and my big bro. If that's not possible, there are meant to be some good agencies who can provide decent qualified first aid trained people etc.

just lost massive post.... uckin eck!!!!! too tired now!! but hello!!! bye tilol tomorrow !!

trace Lovely news about your friend, and well done on the purchases!

wg Its usually me, DH or my mum that puts the DC's to bed. If anyone else sits, like FIL or an Aunt (very rare) then i have put DS to bed first. TBH its not so bad as he is always inbed for 7 and 9/10 ges straight to sleep!

Right DD is all dressed ready to start school. I have cried twice this morning already. I also spent ages trying to get to sleep last night. I was laid awake thinking of when she was born and just felt so sad that at 4 she was off to start this whole new adventure without me - is that normal?? I think some of it is to do with the fact she is only just 4. And I know in a few months I'll be glad to pack her off to school after the holidays . DD on the other hand is so excited and looks just gorgeous in her uniform - I'll put some pics on FB later.

Right best get her there, wish me luck ladies it won't look good if I cry in front of her teacher on the first day.

Morning! WG - luckily DD is quite happy with strangers, although on this occasion, the sitter isn't coming til after we've left. But we have used them for afternoons, going onto the evenings and she's settled ok with them. We left her with my parents at 10 months and she's quite laid back now about bedtime. We use sitters.co.uk and have found them pretty good. Hoping to find a new regular in Streatham now. Also, luckily DD2 goes down pretty easily at night now - she doesn't sleep much in the afternoon, just a bit of a catnap, so is exhausted in the evening and usually asleep by 6.30!!!

DH is off on a stag this weekend, so am alone with both the nippers for the weekend. Plus he's been out every night this week. Hmmm. No help with bath/bedtime for ages! He got back at 8.30 on Tuesday and when I said I was going to bed at 9.30, he was a bit huffy as it was the one night he was in. Erm, hello? He doesn't have to go out with his mates. I wouldn't stop him, but by the same token, it would be nice if he was here on occasion!

Thankfully have filled my weekend with visits from friends and things, so won't be too lonely!

Also, have bogged up on the nursery front. We're struggling financially with paying this rent etc and I gaily booked DD1 into nursery thinking that at £20 cheaper a day than Battersea, that it was probably the standard price for Streatham and was a really nice place. Have since discovered most of the other nurseries are cheaper and even one for £41 a day and so am losing us quite a lot of money per week. DH is not happy as I didn't shop around. I can absolutely see his point and feel really bad about it. I have emailed them asking if we can have it any cheaper, but I've paid the £100 deposit. Shit.

Oh Deidre - cross posted. How amazing your DD is heading to school! How exciting for her. I think I'd be the same with the old tears! I am a total weed. GOOD LUCK!