Dec 08 Ladies - LIghtning Strikes... and the usual gossip!

[Beans33]

Hope this works for everyone - I'm assuming Summer won't give birth in the next few hours!! x

Ladyt meant to say to you last wk. We have started using your food techniques with The DS' and it makes a difference DS1 inparticular is vv fussy so it has been lovely to see him eat a bit more.

Rubes I am in Essex. Bluewater is our closest (well Lakeside but I don't like it) shopping center. Next time I go will defo give you a shout.

Lovely to have you back Beans :). Def back to school here too - work this morning. Boo. And it was frosty on the way to the station.

LadyT: glad you made up with DH. Enjoy your London trip - where are you heading? Your post about DD's eating was really interesting. She has made enormous progress if she's no longer stressing over food.

I am joining the ranks of the zombies today - DS2 woke up screaming at 1am and refused to settle. No idea why. We ended up bringing him into bed with us and he immediately went back to sleep, so we got a few hours.

I've never been to Bluewater but agree Lakeside is a bit grim. Shopping centres are my least favourite places anyway :).

Just sitting here pumping as my right boob was about to explode.....
ds has an interest in TV again thank God!!! (nice parenting Rubes!) but I can't get a thing done including much needed expressing if I dont put it on to stop him in his tracks for a bit.
Great night for dd. She couldnt be more opposite than ds. He hates being in our bed etc but she won't even sleep in the moses basket, however in her carry cot last night rather than on my pillow next to me, so result! Shes so cuddly compared to him and how he was which is good and bad as ds was so easy to transition to a cot / own room then bed.
Glad things ended nicely Lady. Hope you got some more sleep?

jam def let me know as I can get there in under an ghour and mil is just a stones throw away from there.

Hi folks, am at my mum's and slowly going spare. T has not slept well for weeks, first night here he was up 6 times, last night a few more, but it's also his behaviour in the day that is doing my head in. He's refusing most food except toast, refusing milk and yoghurt, and I thought it was teeth but even when gelled and drugged up just doesn't want anything. It's like I've woken up with a different child with totally different likes. It's almost as if he's decided he doesn't want slimy textures or smooth ones, but it does worry me how to get milk into him, or protein (he's refusing any animal protein, or in fact anything else. Just toast and a bit of fruit. And then he's grumpy cos he's hungry and not getting what he;s used to. And my mum is so controlling and interfering it's exhausting too. And she doesn't sleep when T doesn't so she's knackered too from being up half the night.

Sorry, will be back to do personals later, I just needed a rant and now I need to lie down I'm so exhausted. Does anyone else have a toddler who just won't sleep? Or if your DD/DS1 didn't, did they just grow out of it?

Spot: DS2 isn't off his grub but is def asserting himself in other ways - more shouting and crying and occasionally lashing out. I think a lot of it is frustration over not being able to communicate that well and trying to stay in control when things are changing. Could you try the smorgasbord thing a la LadyT? Re the sleep, Veggie may have some advice as I know she's been dealing with similar issues. Hope you get some rest.

hello
Gosh poor Beans you are doing so well and I think it's completely normal to be hit by the sheer exhaustion of it all. Really hope you can get some rest soon...
Summer - yes it's SIL's first baby! In fact I saw the ILs the other day and made a passing comment about how beautiful SIL's house was and how I felt a bit envious of her, with all her skills and wonderfulness (not in a catty way, was actually singing SIL's praises because she is truly lovely), and MIL said that she expects things might change a little when their baby is born, and also said how she thinks DH and I are doing a great job with our girls and that she's proud of me. I'm actually welling up thinking about her saying it now! A lovly MIL to balance out all the bonkers ones on here
Lady - so glad you and dp have made up. You're nearly there and there is a very bright light at the end of the tunnel. Hope you have a good weekend. The food stuff is so interesting and thank you for sharing how it's going - i think it will help an awful lot of us. Was it a private appointment? If so I think we all need to chip in!
Jam - what colour is the cat suit thing? I bet you look ace in it.
Spot - P has just been through a week or 2 of crap sleep (not as bad as T) and we had to go back to the old controlled crying thing, leaving her and just going in every 10 mins to say lie down, then coming staight back out, and she's come out the other end of it. We also still have a dummy, well actually about 4 dummies in her cot overnight, which I feel I ought to be getting rid of, but can't bring myself to tackle yet. DH has suggested trying when it's dark at bedtime, so there's an extra thing to help her settle. Probably quite wise.
OOh and I've bought a mooncup Only tried it out once but it seems fine! If I get on ok with it it'll save pennies and be easier all round I think...watch this space!
Right, better go but will be back later
xxx

What is a mooncup?

Trace - your MIL sounds a bit like mine - just lovely and kind and says the right things!

DD2 slept from the 10.30 feed til 6am last night! I am consequently refreshed and perky! I slept from 10pm til 6am with a short musical interlude when DD1 couldn't find Sheepy in her cot at 1am. But that was it. Bloody marvellous! Loving DH doing the 10.30 feed as means I can go to bed early. And now DD2 takes 5oz of formula at it!! Amazing!

Spot - what a pain for you. I'm so sorry it's got difficult suddenly - I do reckon that it's probably the communication frustration and trying to control things, as you said. I hope it's a phase that ends soon!

Must go as am doing lunch for DD1, while DD2 sleeps!

Just a quickie as I'm at work but spot I agree thats it's an asserting themselves thing. DS's eating is nowhere near as good as it was and his behaviour lately has been really bad (tantrums/biting etc). I'm with effie in that I think a lot of it stems from him not being able to communicate how he feels.

Hope you got some sleep x

trace What a lovely MIL you have! I have to agree with her you are doing a great job!

I am also slightly relieved that I don't have the only hitting screaming despot!

We too have biting hitting and screaming.

Need help. So got the outfit for wedding in a couple of weeks but am having a style dilema. Wedding will be quite posh but is mainly clubbing type 20somethings. I hate with a passion anything twee from coast as I think all their stuff is a bit identikit also dont want o be wearing the same as half the people there. Anyway what do you think? Will I look ridiculous or is that sort of an acceptable outfit to wear with mega heels and loads of bangles?

sorry try this link

Wow, Jam, that is really funky. Far trendier than anything I'd dare to wear - go for it, it's lovely. I am a right square when it comes to weddings/christenings etc. Go to Fenn Wright Manson and other such places. Buy one expensive dress then wear it til it falls apart!!! In wedding season, you can guarantee the photos of me will be in the same dress for all of them!! But think it's ace.

DD1 hasn't reached hitting/biting yet, but she does tend to hit her own head when she's frustrated, which I find really rather sad for her.

Also, she no longer has constipation!! I don't know if it was the medicine, or the syrup of figs I bought her. But she now does the most enormous, smelly, runny poos! It's vile. I think this is what most people have to deal with all the time!!! Yuck. I almost preferred the cricket balls. Although, clearly, this is better for her. I had to take her off the medicine because she was coming up in a funny rash and I was a bit worried about her. She has got some eczema, but this was a bit much.

She also keeps coming up in these red patches with a white bit in the middle, almost like a nettle sting or something. Bit of a worry. Plus she bruises really easily. So if DH throws her up in the air (he was doing it at inlaws as they have a pool) then catches her, he leaves little finger-shaped bruises on her back. It's awful - he feels like he's abusing her!!! Poor chap, when clearly he isn't! Anyway, waffle waffle.

If you managed to get through that stream of consciousness, then please have a kitkat now!

Wow, Jam that looks amazing. I am sadly no fashion guru but imagine it would look good with heels of flats, and lots of jewellery as you say. What are you planning to wear on top? (God, that sounds like such a mum question, you can see warmth is currently top of my concerns!).

Thanks for the reassurance about T's behaviour, I feel like I'm going to just go with whatever works here (eating sausage rolls in pushchair, oh yes, and we were actually pleased that he was eating something! I think had we met any MNers they'd have been tsking into their Boden). Then we'll deal with things like expanding variety and eating proper meals when we get back. At the moment anything that looks like a meal (with potatoes or peas or something) immediately gets dumped so we're living from snack to snack. LadyT, I'm afraid you're our regular food guru now! I have a question - what did they say about snacks/mealtimes? If they don't eat properly at meals do you try and get food into them whenever you can or do you just wait until the next designated mealtime and try again? And is location important? T will eat much more when he's out and distracted, but the high chair seems to put him under pressure and he just acts up.

Btw I am so glad your DP apologised properly and you had a nice meal. I am amazed with what you are doing at the mo, esp heavily pregnant and dealing with a toddler. I am also very pleased the kitchen is coming together.

Oh bollocks T has woken up after tiny nap. Back later.

Oh, and so pleased you had a good night, Beans, it makes all the difference. You sound reet perky! Yay for the no more constipation too. Has the GP said anything about the rash and skin bruising?

Spot: we moved from high chair to booster seat and now DS2 is in a normal chair ( he does occasionally fall off). He hated being in the high chair and much prefers eating at the same table as us (plus he can pinch DS1's drink). Worth a try?

Jam: I think you will look great in that. My eye twitched a little at 'playsuit' - I was expecting something short and smock like!

Hi spot - haven't been to GP yet about it - feel a bit like I live there at the moment! Am off for a consultation about having a coil fitted on Monday - will perhaps mention it in passing then... Any tips on coil? My sister recommends murina one or something.

Spot - I meant to add more, but DD2 kicked off. Re eating.

DD1 has become really quite fussy. I read a Rachel Waddilove thing about them not eating their meals and did as she said as her routine was brill for DD1, but not all works for everyone. Basically, when I got furious with DD1 for not eating, again, I put her to bed with nothing at lunchtime, then no snacks in the afternoon, and she fell on her supper and ate loads!!! BUT then today, she wouldn't really eat much, but I let her snack on stuff as we went to a birthday party - had sausage rolls, jam sandwiches, the works. Then pitta bread with hummus for supper on the sofa in front of telly. I am crap!!! But it's a once in a while thing. And she loves fish fingers, so I'm not going to not give them to her when I need her to eat something. And sausages! And sometimes she has smiley faces -eek! But if she refuses stuff, I don't give her a pudding, I just make her wait til next meal. I think I'm probably a bit mean, though. But it was originally born of desperation and now seems to work.

Right, must go. DD2 needs a bath.

Just skimmed and wanted to add ds has been doing t5his screaming thing ever since dd came along and has been hiting and kicking for a bit before her too. I was at my tits end as my parents are here and think their old school method is better than mine but the HV today confirmed that my method of ignoring the screaming totally but removing myself from the physical stuff is paramount is best. they want to tell him off but you can't reason with a non communicative toddler.... Anyway HV confirmed my method is best (and saw first hand) so that will be it. Gotta go.... gotta take dog to the vet and there are baths all round to be had. Plus mum taking ghastly photo's of me and dd which needs to be stopped!!

Cheers, Beans, can you tell me the name of the Rachel Waddilove book? I am a sucker for that sort of thing! T eventually had some cheese on toast, corn snacks and a bit of banana in front of Teletubbies. I do think he is teething and has a cold so maybe he's self-regulating on the dairy (though obv cheese is dairy, who knows). I must stop this bad habit I have of assuming that whatever phase he's in will last forever. I'm hoping that maybe we can leave this toast association here with granny and go back to meals at home (I'd be delighted if he'd eat a fish finger at the moment, though it is my normal lazy dinner).

Rubs, sounds like you're dealing with it brilliantly well. I bet the pix are just great. Really looking forward to coming to see you all and meeting little DD - let me know when you're up for a visit.

I think it probably is time to ditch the highchair, thing is my mum's just bought one so kind of have to use it here .

Oh yes, here's a link to it. I haven't read it in depth, but it's useful for dipping into. Her routine book was my bible first time round with nipper. This time I am still following it roughly, but not with as much poring over it!

I don't think I could manage without a highchair - well done you for getting rid of it. DD1 not tall enough for our table yet. She's teeny wee!

Went to a 3 year old's party today and DD1 had a flower painted on her face. I hadn't taken our camera. Gutted!

xx

And meant to say, Rubes - well done on the removing yourself. You are clearly doing really well. Hurray! Are you getting any sleep? How old is DD now?

beans a mooncup is an alternative to tampons/pads! It's a silicone cup thing that you put up your fanjo and it just collects the blood. You take it out every 4-6 hours, pour the blood down the loo, rinse the mooncup with water, then put it back in. It looks a bit like the bit of plastic that's left over when you've popped a party popper! You can wear it overnight and it supposedly is much easier for traveling etc. It was £20 but should last for years, so will save money and it's obviously better for the environment. I sound like an advert! Anyway, I've tried it out and it seems fine
I've had a mega cleaning spree today so am feeling a bit more in control!

Evening all, just a quickie (and a big me post as we're busy doing lots of packing lists etc and recording little messages from DH for DD as he leaves tomorrow (day before our anniversary ) and then it's just me and her until Sunday... Spot and Kiwi you have managed this for ages single handed, and here I am panicking over 4 nights...

so, lovely lovely to see lots of you on Friday and the kids are all just wonderful, adventurous and charming! It was nice to be kidless for a few hours though

Have been trying to take it easy, the bleeding has been back since Friday evening off and on, saw midwife today and she said it's very little to worry about given that they found the heartbeat in a second, but said to call the hospital anyway - they said the same, no point going in just for them to have a listen but they are supposedly going to phone tomorrow to arrange a scan to make sure. Really hoping it's just one of those mystery things, I'm trying hard to take it easy (naps etc, and dh has been doing lots of the baby duty for the last few days) but am a bit concerned for how the next few days will be, white light please for a peaceful and non-stroppy toddler girl...