Dec 08 Ladies - LIghtning Strikes... and the usual gossip!

[Beans33]

Hope this works for everyone - I'm assuming Summer won't give birth in the next few hours!! x

Hi everyone, big hugs to WG, I am with you - DP also out (away for 8 days now ) and I am siting in front of the X Factor with a curry! The overwhelming feeling is just horrible, and I always get it worst when it's a weekend and DP isn't around and I feel like everyone else has fun things to do together. What time does your DH get back? I know it's easy to say, but from the short time I've seen you and the long time we've all been posting on here you come across as a really loving, fun mum and your DD is very lucky to have you. And I'm sure you will be the same with the next little wibble!

Talking of DH's away at weekends - I don't suppose any of you guys fancy a visit to Brighton next weekend?

Large plate of bolognaise just consumed. If a red meat and carb double whammy doesn't cure me nothing will. It's not like I'd been starving myself. Before the faint I had breakfasted on scrambled eggs with smoked salmon.

The diet will have to be put on hold now anyway as we are off to Wales for a week watching the rain with my in laws. God help me. I hate going to their place in Wales. Last year DH got Swine Flu and couldn't help a jot while the two DDs clung to me for seven days and nights (how offended was MiL when they wouldn't go to her?). The year before I got severe mastitis and the year before that we left two days early to stop me killing FiL. Wish me luck!

I am sending positive vibes for your 8 days without DH Spot. I hope it passes quickly.

Where is Rubes? I hope the feeding is going well.

Is the kitchen in Lady? How does it look?

Very tired post from phone. We were all at the house for over 13 hours, apart from the quickish pub lunch. Kitchen not in, but they made a cracking start and what's in looks nice. Everyone worked so hard, including my 14 year old nephew. I have a rotten cold and I am shattered but glad to hear WG has perked up a bit. Spot, if it wasn't for the house I would come and visit you. Honestly. DP is watching In Bruges - such a good film, but too depressing for my slightly fragile state of mind. Bed and blankness awaits me, I hope. Night all.

Await me, I mean.

wg Sorry that yesterday was a tough day for you. I amcertain you are a fantastic mum but days like yesterday are hard. FWIW Ihave tried something similar to Avo's camera crew approach, it does help

spot Hope yourtime without DH passes quickly. I know what youmean about weekend's feeling worse though. DH works everyother weekend and those weeken'd don't half drad, especially with all this flippin' rain!

avo Did the Spag Bol sort you out? I could not cope without any carbs as I get dreadful headaches and feel very light-headed. I suspect it was low blood sugar that made youfaint, hope you are better today!

Rubes How's the feeding going? Am thinkking of you.

trace Are you there?? She hasn't gone on holiday again has she?

Well yesterday was my day for clangers it seems. After the foot-in-mouth incident with DH's friends and 'Junior', I went to my GP's yesterday. My cousin arrived whilst we were there with her baby (the one who was bornat 28 weeks). Well he is doing really well. But to my horror she whipped out some baby rice and started shovelling it in. Early weaning is one thing but he is only 13 weeks old, and if he had been full term would only be about 1/2 weeks old anyway! I said (and I fear I came over as too patronising) "You do know that he should be 6 months don't you?". She replied something about the HV saying it was fine, as he wasn't sleeping through yet. I tried to explain that he would be fuller off milk/calorie content/digestive systemnot ready yet etc. She said that he enjoyed it so much so that the HV had recommended she gives it him twice a day. Don't get me wrong, some people do wean early but 13 weeks seems way too early, and he's still on quite a lot of meds from being prem. I did apologise before i left saying I wasn't trying to be rude to her and I think she was okay with me. Well, she did give me myinvite tohis christening so I'm asuming she isn't holding a grudge.

Apologies for typo's & lack of spaces this bloody laptop & DS tring to 'help' does not make for a good post!

Well, DB, maybe there are special rules for prem babies but 13 weeks seems horrendous to me. You'd have thought the rules about tender little digestive systems went twice with prem babies BUT I have to qualify that as above and admit I am ignorant about their care. And giving them solids to make them sleep through the night at that age seems a bit off And I don't care for Junior all that much either (except as a nickname).

How were your GPs yesterday?

This cold is awful and my head is still killing me. Feel a bit sorry for myself! Up at 4.40 again. I have just eaten some cherries from M&S and they were really expensive, but v poor quality. Tut. We have fruit trees in the garden at the new house and my nephew picked some Worcester apples, some pears and some small plums yesterday. If they're nice, perhaps I will just flick the Vs at M&S in future. Right, must get ready and go off to the House of Warped Time, where every job takes at least six times as long as you think it's going to.

Kayz I have asked to join the FB Group.I didn't get an option to send you a message so I hope you know who I am. My initials are AH.

lady sorry about the stinking cold! Good to hear that you are making progress on the house...albeit slowly! Hope your feeling a bit better soon.

My Gp's were actually quite good yesterday. I think they really enjoyed a visit from the DC's who were suprisingly well behaved. They are normally battling with each other at the moment.

Re: the weaning I can't imagine the advice is any different because he is a prem baby. If anything his digestive system is probably very under-developed (if thats the right phrase). Anyway not my baby, so not my buisness but I was just so shocked!

At my mums today waiting for a cooked breakfast, I am starving and it's starting to smell delicious!

Hi all, I'm back from an exhausting week in Menorca. Lovely to get away, but too much family = too much stress! My niece is a spoilt, selfish little brat who had major tantrums at every turn and my Mum and Sister don't get on brilliantly at the best of times, so a week under the same roof wasn't ideal. I also forgot to take any insulin with me (doh!) and then got a lovely 24 hour dose of D&V.
Anyway, back to normality now hopefully and desperately trying to make progress on the cottages. Our architect is on a go-slow so I think some arse whipping is in order this week. We do now have a fence and gates though, which make it feel a bit more homely (!).
Off to the annual village ferret race now (oh we know how to have fun in the country!) so must rush.

Hello everyone,
Lovely to see lots of you at the meet up. Shame I had to scoot away earlyish but I didn't want to end up on a rush hour train, far too much stress!! Lovely to see how all the little ones have grown up, they all seem so big!
My little angel DD after being so lovely at the meet up (well not so much lovely as restful and asleep) spent the whole of the evening screaming, a significant portion of the night and all the next morning! Yawn. She seems to have settled down since though.
avo your DD2 was so lovely with her, bless her, so sweet! In comparison DS has today thumped and yanked her limbs several times and culmintated in poking her hard in the eye making her scream. He did spend the rest of the evening saying "eye" in a worried way and pointing at her whenever she made so much as a murmur though, which was quite sweet but didn't quite make up for it.

jam nice to meet you for the first time, and I don't think your DSes are horrors at all, they are lovely. Though I can see that public transport with 2 mobile ones is rather daunting, so hats off to all of you who came with 2 (which I think is most of you!
wg sorry you weren't at the meet up and sorry you are feeling crap. Hope it was just a one off day and you are feeling better now. You aren't a crap mum!! My DS won't nap in teh day without screaming either, he either screams or he sleeps in the pushchair or car (which he will still do without screaming).
I feel bad but I am kind of looking forward to DH going back to work. I know I will regret that as it will be knackering but he just wants to cram the days full of "exciting" stuff, which is nice, and nice for DS, but knackering. I could do with a day or even half a day at home. Yawn. Today we had friends round and we went looking for "geocaches" in what ended up being the pouring rain, and then to the pub and then back to ours to play. I am tired!! Tomorrow he wants to go to a steam train.....he does say he would go without me to give me a break but I don't really want that either. I guess I shouldn't complain!!

Oh Ladyt I was asking you at the meet up how the feeding was going, and you didn't really get to answer. Part of ther eason I was asking was cos I had an argument with DH who doesn't agree with all the advice on this front. He thinks you should persuade, cajole and bribe your children to eat things, otherwise you are "just giving them what they want" and that these methods are a cop out. Sigh. I pointed out to him that if he persuades, cajoles and bribes him to eat and I just put food in front of him and don't comment then this is confusing and if there is any chance of this method which is recommended by our HV and your paediatrician working then we would both have to do it. But he says he thinks it is nonsense and hippy current wishy washy thinking and so won't. Sigh. Not sure there is much I can do, though he does seem to have toned down the massive amounts of persuasion he puts in so that helps, and he doesn't get obviously frustrated either any more which I think is a BIG BIG no-no.

deirdre blimey feeding solids at 13 weeks with a 12 week premature baby sounds mad to me! Can't believe it is really recommended. Also agree with you on Junior but oops on putting your foot in it!

nolda let us know if you don't get on the fb group and one of us can nudge Kayz to let you on. She posts on here occasionally but not sure if she is always lurking or not.

spot hope you are doing ok without DP. Sorry to hear about the house you were after. Are you definitely staying in Brighton now? I think i must have missed where you said that if so, last time I remembeer you were looking in both Brighton and London?? I think you should go on Location Location Location!!

rubes hope you are ok!

Oh a couple of questions:

rubes and veggie ages and ages ago you were talking about cups to use to give DCs milk in, and there was one you decided was great, what was it??

Secondly veggie you said you bought "one day" to read on the itouch, where did you buy it from and what app do you use to read it? Is it very expensive to buy books online? Have realised that iphone v handy for reading books during nightfeeds, am currently reading Vanity Fair cos it's free (using Stanza app)!

Right should go to bed now. Yawn

Hello all - I'm here, haven't even been able to lurk as have been busy with parents back and here for a few more days.
dd has settled down much much mmore and have had some suggestions from a Paed at The Portland so figured worth doing a few feeding experiments to make sure nothing else is going on. I'm expressing / freezing as much as possible but doing experiment of comfort formula only with colic drops before and after for 24 hours (big improvment) then next (currently) trying 72 hors of regular formula (advised cartons only) with infant Gaviscon in it and Dentinox only (not as settled with this however apparently takes the full 3 days to see if results)
then try 24 hours of Breast milk from a bottle and see if there is a difference with any. So far Comfort Formula is a hit.
She is feeding loads and gained an enourmous amount of weight but still seems to get quite a bit of colic.

Sorry not to catch up properly. Must go and pump.
xx
Lady hope you are feeling better? Catch up next week after my folks depart? And Avo yes lo carb can make you faint. I swear by that diet but be careful!

Oh and Summer - the cup Vagolarama put me onto is the Anyway up cup - brilliant.

Ooh, quiet on here. This isn't a proper post, just a moan! Cold is awful - felt so rough the last couple of days with it, coughing, headache, can't sleep, feel like I can't breathe, the whole works. We were going to take some time out to go out for a quick lunch at the poncy farm shop at Daylesford, but just when we were ready to go, and I admit I was dragging myself about a bit because I felt so grotty, DP said it was too late and we had to go to the house to work. Which we did, despite my protestations, and had one of those horrendous two hour rows where you both end up saying the worst things you can think of. I do actually feel like I hate him at the moment. I'm always the one to compromise in the relationship (which I don't even find that easy as it's not particularly in my nature). With one month to go to this new baby and feeling like total shit physically at the moment, it would be nice to have some tlc and a few kind words at this stage, not a slice of unreasonableness and vitriol. So...not the best day today. I will post later as there are things I wanted to say to others! Sorry folks. Praise be that I am off to London tomorrow for a couple of days.

Can I just say aaaaaaarrrrggggghhhh I hate dress shopping. Number of tantrums from me 10, DH 5 & boys none!

Oh lovey. Deep breath and count to 10. You are having areally crappy time at the mo. Are you able to have any sort of me time?

No, but I will tomorrow - I'm having lunch and galleries with a friend. And will buy myself something nice, bugger it. Now all I need to do is get to the end of the day without a) falling over or b) stoving DP's rotten head in with a paint roller. Fortunately we are working two floors apart. Sorry about the shopping, are you at Bluewater or Lakeside perchance?

hello ladies
Gosh I'm struggling to keep up at the moment. We keep having a few days here and there - no major hols - but enough to keep me completely out of routine! Life is a bit on top of me at the mo! I'll be pleased when we get back to work/ school and the routine of it all. I'm feeling a bit 'not in control' and am planning to make myself a 'looking after my house' rota tonight, so I can feel like I'm in control of something! I felt a bit crappy after visiting BIL and his very preg wife, who had made scrumptious food and cakes for us, made loads of her own furnishings in their new home, made almost everything in the baby's room (due in 2 weeks!) including all bedding, cuddly toys, curtains, decorated wardrobe...and looked bright and well and still played with L and P and acted as the perfect hostess. She's so fab and amazing but it made me feel a bit crap about my not so beautiful house, my poor cooking skills and inability to make pretty things! Anyway. Just me being daft really. I have been reading when I can but will no doubt fail to respond to all the personals.
It was lovely to read about the meet-up. Glad you had a lovely time. As always my vote goes to MN photos as I'm not on FB!
LadyT - I do hope you enjoy your day tomorrow and can just take a little time out, away from dp and decorating and stress.
Rubs - your feeding plan sounds complex and I don't know what comfort formula is, but it sounds like you feel better about things so that's great.
deidre - my dd1 was 10 weeks early and I was advised to wean at 6 months at the earliest and if poss to wait until her 'corrected' age of 6 months, ie 10 weeks after that. SHe was a hungry monkey so we held out till about 6.5 months then gave in! And it didn't make her sleep at night - just as it made no difference with P either - so it's not always the answer anyway! You are sounding much happier these days. Are things with dh ok?
Avo - your trip to Wales sounds like something to be dreaded! I really hope it's not so bad this time. We'll look forward to the tales of IL hell!

DH has just taken the girls to the park so I can have a rest, so sorry this is brief, but I'll hopefully get back in the swing of things when life returns to normal later this week

Oh good glad you are getting a bit of time away. Sometimes a bit of a change od scene if only for a few hrs can make a difference. You also absoloutely must buy a wee thing for yourself.

We were at Bluewater. Going to a wedding I said I would go on my own much easier less stressy bu DH wanted to come so just feel under pressure to find something in under an hr. Got something in the end. I have gone for a jumpsuit thing am sure it looks like pyjamas but I was that or a black dress and seeing as the bride is a real bridezilla I didn't think it would go down to well turning up in black.

Trace I too am lookig forward to the banality of back to school routine. Don't worry about the domestic goddess thing I never believe women who are so perfect are that happy bound to be somethinglurking unseen.

Rubes glad to hear you much happier.

Hey all - I'm back! I really can't catch up as have missed out on so much. Avo - where in Wales are they? I hope it isn't tooooo stressful.

We've had a lovely week and I was looked after so well. Had so much help with childcare, that I have no idea how I'm going to cope tomorrow - first day on my own in over a week - plus DH on a stag weekend this weekend, so not even any let up then - EEEK! DD2 has taken to screaming until she falls asleep in the evenings and although it's at around 6.45pm, it's quite tough as have to hold her all the while. God knows how I'm going to manage that on my own with 2 of them. Hmmm, could be interesting!

I don't know what's come over me this evening, but have hit a total wall of exhaustion - I think it's 10 weeks with only broken sleep. I don't know how you insomniacs cope. I am so keen on sleep, I am really struggling.

SL - I feel your pain re DH. Love mine dearly, but he will keep suggesting that we "do" something as a family. I think going to the park and the swings etc is enough. Clearly I'm wrong and we have to go on outings! DD2 is only 10 weeks old (where's the time gone!) and DD1 does love it, but GOD do I feel zonked by the end of the day. WAs hoping he was going to take DD1 out to the park this pm so I could bond a bit with DD2, but I had to go too as he was then going onto the Lido for a swim. At supper and bathtime. Hmmmm. His last day of holiday and he manages to escape any hard work... GRR!

WG - I hope you're feeling a bit perkier?

Trace - I know what you mean re routine etc. I am completely thrown by being away for the week. V odd as was handling the lack of sleep well and am now totally zonked. And am only up once in the night, so I can't really complain...

Rubes - hope you're coping ok and SL that you're having a lovely time. Aren't we lucky with our girls!! Lady - can't wait for yours to arrive. Honestly, it seems like about 5 minutes ago since you posted about your shag accident and now here you are, about to pop - bugger me! Actually, if that had happened, you wouldn't be up the duff now! Take it gently, my lovely, and make sure you get some rest to ward off that horrible cold.

Right, to bed with me, enough waffling on. Sorry!

xxxx

Beans hello, I'm right there with you next Monday as the folks go home at the weekend, and I'm here with the high maintanence but lovable dd . Hope we can see you soon.

We had a lovely walk along the towpath today, finishing up at the pub, and after an awful experience mid walk when ds had a bad nappy, but teething, coupled with too many raisins resulted in an awful, up the back, acidic, jeans soiling nappy, and a screaming in nappy chafed ds. We managed to change and Sudecreme him up at the side of the towpath and ended up having a nice drink at the pub, when at first we thought we'd be heading straight home sharpish. DS has finally learnt (fingers crossed) that he can wander around and push his buggy himself while we ate at a nearby table as long as he stays within our sight and doesn't run at the river or near other people - so result there.

Lady hope you are feeling better tomorrow. It really is hard the last few weeks, and I can only imagine the extra pressure of the house and getting it don at the same time. i remember doing that whilst not pregnant and no toddler to manage and it is hard... just keep reminding yourself that you will instantly feel better after dd2 comes along and so many of the physical symptoms will vanish. I wish dh wasn't so swamped with his additional work, as he would love to come an help with the diy.
Gosh re dd's experimental diet. We have found that she is quite constipated with the Gaviscon in her milk so have gone back to the comfort formula and she is doing well. My freezer is chokka's with BM so will be checking her reaction to straight BM from the bottle for 48 hors shortly. All in all though, she has improved dramatically and is totally downing the feeds.

Jam I have read before that you were at Bluewater one other time. Do you live over there? Why am I confused? I thought you were up north? I can get to Bluewater easily as mil is over that way if you ever go again, would love to meet up with you?

Right must go... dd squeaking

Just a quickie to say welcome back to Beans, Katie and Trace!

Also to say to Spot that I hope you are doing ok and to commiserate about the house, ZJ I wanted to thank you for the advice for the first time Mum (it wasn't too late as I am seeing her on Weds) and Rubes, let's catch up soon, yes.

The happy ending is that DP arranged a babysitter, took me out to my fave restaurant in Ox this evening, and gave me a v gracious apology. We had a lovely evening and I've forgiven him and said sorry for the bad things I said

Zzzzz, been up for an hour and I have to get an early train in the morning. Double zzzz.

Rubes, that is so kind of your DH even to think about helping so do say thanks. To tell you the truth, DP and I are both stressed and exhausted by it and we both have this cough/cold, and with him juggling the reno work with his job and me juggling it with late pregnancy and DD, I should probably be grateful we haven't has more fallings out than we have.

Anyway, I am glad your DS is allowing you to eat at that pub at the end of the towpath now, and as for the acidic-too-many-raisins nappy - DD was 'helping' DP pick plums from the garden for the babysitter and she wanted to eat quite a few, which was fine. Unfortunately when we picked her up from the babysitter after our meal, we asked what she'd eaten for supper and the babysitter said that she'd kept asking for plums and had eaten five So not looking forward to the train journey tomorrow...

Will be interested to hear how the feeding experiment turns out and it's good that you can try to find a solution this way.

Right, with many apologies to everyone else, here is a long chunk just for Summmer about DD's feeding as she wanted to know how it was going re: her DH/DS. Feel free to skip - just because it helps my insomnia not feel so awful to post, I don't want to send you lot to sleep too...

Firstly I am not going to criticise your DH, SL, as I know how flippin? frustrating it can be and he is only trying to do what he thinks best. But even if his persuasion works (and frankly sometimes it will, as he is your DS?s father, your DS will want to please him, and anyway sometimes this tactic works by sheer force of will!) it?s empty, it?s a pyrrhic victory because he isn?t changing the behaviour or what?s led up to it, so isn?t laying any foundations for the future (ask him if he is going to be with your DS for every mealtime and still thundering, when your DS is 9, ?Eat up your sprouts or you will never see a yoghurt again!?)

Please reassure him we are not some hippy dippy parents. Far from it. I deplore faddiness with food and those sorts of kids or adults who only eat potato smileys and sausages make me sad. DP is, if anything, a bit authoritarian. If DD starts painting pictures on the wall in shit, we won?t be praising her innovation in materials However, after 2-3 weeks of having a different approach, we have had some improvements in the situation and feel we are now on the right road even if we are travelling with slow steps. Viz:

1. ?The wordlessly offered smorgasbord? ? lunch and dinner, generally, is a little tray with upturned sides with half a dozen foods, some she will be guaranteed to eat (blueberries, cucumber, mini cheddars) a food she might sometimes eat (prunes) and 1-2 ?new? foods. We leave her to get on with it, don?t comment. She will occasionally try the new foods in these circumstances, or even if she doesn?t we are building up the familiarity. The new foods don?t have to be a nuisance ? eg, we might save tiny amounts from our plates from the night before, so even if she chucks it or leaves it, we don?t feel quite so much that we are wasting food. Though some waste is inevitable and I have now learned to live with it!
2. Cheese: a case story. She hasn?t eaten cheese though I have been keen for her to do so (calcium, high cal, protein). Must have offered it 50 times in the past. However, last week, she learned the vocab for cheese in a picture book we have, and I left it at that. The other day, I cut myself some cheese, stood in front of her and told her I was eating cheese and it was delicious and it came from milk. And then I walked off and put it back in the fridge. And she started yelling ?Cheese! Cheese!? as if her life depended on it. So I cut her a bit and she was convinced she wanted it! OK...she crumbled it around a bit, licked it and didn?t eat it. But she might when she has been given it a few times, now that it is a more familiar food. It seems much more of a possibility.
3. Since we stopped nagging her to eat, she has more curiosity in what we are eating and her confidence with food has increased. We were sitting on the floor in the new house the other day, eating bits of things, and she silently helped herself to a large tomato and started biting into it. Unheard of for her. If I?d offered her some, she?d have said no. She is much more likely to try things, I have realised, if she sees us eating them. She wants to join in.
4. As with the cheese, we have some books with pictures of food in them and she likes looking at heavily illustrated recipe books with DP and pointing at things.
5. Limiting the length of mealtimes and not standing over her fretting and cajoling has, slightly but definitely, increased the volume she is eating.

To summarise, over 2-3 weeks, she is only eating slightly more but has definitely put on weight. Also, in this short time she has a greater interest in food, has tried more new foods than ever before and tantrums and tears at mealtimes (for all concerned!) have been virtually eradicated. I call that tangible progress, though your DH may disagree! But I see it as being at the beginning of a long process which will hopefully result in a child with a larger appetite who is less food phobic.

Right, sorry to monopolise the board and I will be gone for a couple of days so you will all have a break. Now...is it worth trying to get an hour and a half's sleep?

Thanks ladyt, that is really interesting. I may show it to dh and see what he says. To be honest part of me is lazy. I just really can't be doing with half an hour of persuading him to eat stuff at every meal - it's ridiculous.
Thanks re cup rubes. Shall get a couple finally decided not to be lazy and stop ds using bottles. Well dh decided actually. Obviously he is less lazy than me. Except when it comes to sleep. I can tell he is trying not to complain about getting up with ds every day (between 6 and 8 so hardly early).

And quite right as I would lve 8 hrs sleep in a row he'd better not moan.
Hope you got some sleep lady t
beans glad you are back! Nice to hear from you too trace! Don't worry about domestic goddess sil some people are just like that. In fact my sil is a bit like that but she definitely doesn't mind me being a bit of a slattern! Is it her first baby? In which case there you have your answer!

Beans I also meant to say sorry you are shattered. I can remember feeling the same at that stage - you have them in a godd routine but they are still not ready to sleep through and the novelty of getting up in the night has well and truly worn off! Can you get an early night and can you get dh to do any feeds eg the last one to give you a break? Oh and do you mean your dh went to the lido on his own for a swim at tea and bedtime? If so he is a cheeky bugger!