Dec 08 Ladies - LIghtning Strikes... and the usual gossip!

[Beans33]

Hope this works for everyone - I'm assuming Summer won't give birth in the next few hours!! x

Good, cos I think it is only a tiny minority of people who can elicit that sort of reaction so soon after having a baby!

You know, it's an interesting point you make about the feeding thing being different with DS. YOU haven't changed so you mustn't blame yourself if things aren't as easy. It's just not a 'fault' issue. It's just that you are feeding a completely different person this time. Mothers always blame themselves when sometimes it's the babes that find it tricky. I was thinking yesterday that I feel markedly different this pregnancy, and it's a good reminder that I am going to be having a completely different child. Because I do forget, and DP definitely does! I think we both assume we're going to have a re-run of DD's baby days and...I bet we are not!

Yeah, Kiwi, people always have the 'I laughed out loud' quote on their book jackets. It's such guff. I haven't laughed out loud at a book since I read Three Men in a Boat and Diary of a Nobody, aeons ago.

Yes Lady - that's true, and even my situation was the same ie I had loads of family staying last time also. Actually I think last time was harder as I had a smaller flat, more visitors and a family member wound up in hospital so I'd actually say more stress last time!
Your dd2 could well be just like dd1 though as well so don't lose hope! This could be a lot to do with the tt issues for the first 3 weeks who knows. I know I will figure it out, and will get past all this and I am still v v happy despite how it sounds

Anyway, I am quite pleased as ds has started using his fork properly (to eat sausages only)throughout all of this!

Glad to hear you sounding more chiper Rubes.

Day 2 of V today am knackered am far too old for all this drinking and dancing milarky. Thank god we didnt camp.

Jam, I take my hat orf to your gameness at even going Tell us who has been good when you come back.

OOh, good for DS and his fork, Rubes. What a good boy. I have never even thought to try a fork with DD, it's all fingers and spoon here. Mind you...not much call for a fork with what she eats.

I am sure the TT/aftermath is bound to impact for a while as you say. Glad you are happy. I keep getting gloomy (I actually think it is only the swirl of late pregnancy hormones) and rattled over things which I would find easier to shrug off normally, such as a neighbour in the building banging on the door on Friday afternoon to tell me DD was crying in the car and what a disgrace it was that we'd left her out there, and generally being judgy. We have never left her in the car on the drive EVER before, but she hadn't slept, was in a deep sleep and we just thought she'd be ok for ten mins. Anyway, this exchange upset me for HOURS. Similarly, I was again in a tizzy about my career yesterday afternoon but given that I am 5 wks away from having my second child and have to spend every spare moment at the new house, it's just a stupid time to worry about it as there is v little I can practically do! Also, I don't want to wish away these weeks even if they are hard. I don't want to wish away ANY weeks of my life! Too precious.

Right, must get on, DO is coming to collect me in a mo, best look busy

Hello,

Rubes, Hope it all settles down for you soon. Glad you are still happy. Well done on DS using his fork. I'd give anything for DS2 to use a fork and not his fingers. He always ends up with his dinner all over himself. He'd eat soup with his fingers I think.

Jam, V sounds really good.

I went out Friday night and believe me cocktails and wine do not mix at all. I had the hangover from hell yesterday and eventually dragged myself out of bed at 3pm so I could listen to the football. I would say never again but I know it'll happen again.

Can any of the London ladies suggest somewhere nice for dinner? I am going in October with DP for his birthday. We are going to see Mamma Mia the Friday night and wanted somewhere nice to eat before hand. I've booked the Delhi Brasserie in Soho for the Saturday night. Hope its as good as its meant to be.

Hope everyone is well and has the sunshine we have here.

Not been to the Delhi Brasserie but I am sure it's lovely, Kayz. Is MM on at the Prince of Wales theatre? If so, I guess Soho is also yer place for the Friday night. You should have a good choice if you are wanting to eat early. Tell me what sort of food you are after and I will have a think. I like a drink in the bar of the Soho Hotel (off Dean Street), which has a nice vibe, and they also do cocktails, though the prices of the drinks are a bit shocking.

Hi Kayz, hope the hangover settles down.

Pubie I'm glad your sounding better. Really having me come stay is the last thing you want with my two noisy boys. If you come to the meet up I'd be happy to have a look at her feeding but really I think your doing the best you can. Lady has it spot on too. BF was a breeze with DS1 apart from the breast abcess but I've had 10 bouts of mastitis with DS2 and big latch problems. At the end of the day he's a different boy who just would not open his bloody mouth. But we muddled along and a combination of persistence, pain, cranial osteopathy and some good support got me through in the end. I don't think he ever really opened his mouth as wide as he should have but he's still feeding 4 times a day now so something must have gone right. I really do think you 2 need sometime where you can both relax and just see how things go without having to give other people attention or share your home. Also initially the pain of BF effected how I felt towards DS2 which made me feel a bit guilty. In the end i just accepted that he pissed me off but I still loved him...a bit like DH sometimes. Also just a thought but could she be latching on because that's how she gets garanteed cuddles and attention. I know you have been slinging her but maybe that's what she is wanting to be near you all the time. It's not unreasonable she is still quite young and they naturally want to be close to you. Maybe having to share you with several other big people has had an effect on her and she is clinging to the best way she knows to stay close to you.

Oh & I'm a little pleased with myself after my pimms indulgence yesterday at DS1's birthday I went for a ride today out along the dunes. It was so nice to get out on my road bike. I road about 30km and gosh I can feel it in my legs. Hopefully it won't be a one off.

LadyT, MM is at the Prince of Wales theatre, not really sure what we are after food wise. Not Indian because obviously we are having it on the Saturday. Not sushi please as the thought alone makes me feel sick. Maybe something like a nice steak or Italian as we both love Italian food.

Vag - don't think so. Despite having family staying etc. I've rarely put her down!
It's starting to hurt again now oddly
Just had a couple of hours sleep woke and fed her and it's quite sore to do so, not unlike the pain I was associating to the TT

Hi Kayz - sounds like I'm way behind on your situation

Oh and one other thing that happens which I'm not sure if it's related in anyway, is that she always and I mean always gets hiccups after having the boob and up some BM comes (most of the time) as it just did then. I know hiccups can indicate wind so perhaps it is the latch but they can also mean ate too much or too fast - no way too fast and hardly think too much as she can down 3oz of formula and is fine.
My theory is she isn't latching well - despite them telling me she does (stupid m/w)

How difficult will it be to get down to London next week Pubie, or could we meet up another time, I'm pretty booked up but can give it a go. We are staying with friends in North London & are in all morning on the sat morning as our friends DH is in LA and she is training for a half marathon and needs to do an 11 mile run so we are looking after her kids while she goes out. You could meet me at her's or I could pop out to somewhere close by. She lives near Emirates stadium.

Kiwi I meant to say DS2 can count to three in Chinese. However, I don't think he actually gets the concept of counting he is just copying DS1. Whenever they are about to do some daring feet like skate down a skate ramp or jump of the play equipment/sofa/stairs they do a count before it. I think DS2 thinks whenever he does anything tricky he makes those three noises in the lead up.

Thanks Vaggie, that's very kind of you, but really don't worry. I think I'm making things sound way worse than they really are. Right now, ds was asleep from 7pm after dh fed, bathed, and brushed his teeth, and dd is also asleep after being fed from me albeit a little painful dh has now gone out for fish and chips and I have had a 2 hour nap today plus am going to have a nice soak in the bath later and watch x-factor
I might see what I can do about making it to RFH on Friday as I would so much love to see some of you! My place is just so darned annoying to get to on Public transport unless you drive in which case is very easy. My parents will be back on Thurs but perhaps they can have ds and I can pop along as dh is working near Oxford Street that day. Can someone post the link?
I may have to see if mil can join my parents, as she is just dying to spend any chance she can get with ds anytime, and my own parents are not quite loving it for long stints sadly, although they are happy to do the odd morning etc
dh has just called and the chippy is shut he has tried 3 more since might have to go with the local msg-tastic Chinese!

Oh and by the way Vag, your 2 'noisy boys' would be nothing! With the noise in this place with ds and his latest screaming phase, we wouldn't even notice them! Plus, I your ds2 was v tiny last I saw you but ds1 is delightful. You are all welcome anytime, and I mean that. next time you are over here, or want to come over - let me know.

Right ladies. Time to try and catch up. I can't do any MN during the day as as soon as dd sees me open the laptop she tries to 'help', and when she naps, I nap. I had no idea how dependent I was on the extra couple of hours kip curing her nap, until she didn't have on today [yawn] No more bleeds though which is good news. Littlun seems to be holding in there :)

so, a quick skim I'm afraid.

SL hope you're getting some better nights by now (yeah right...!) and feeling a bit stronger. V cross on your behalf about dreadful MIL behaviour

rubs hope the feeding has got better, and sorry you're getting such conflicting advice. Veggie's idea about a babymoon with just you and her in bed for a few days to get the hang of things sounds great.

Lady sounds like some sage advice form the dietician. The whole thing is such a minefield and you're doing your best. And well done your nephew :)

trace my goodness you poor thing being driven into, so glad to hear you're both ok.

njan lovely to hear from you and great news that the counselling has been going well, sounds like you've been having some lovely fun with the boys.

effie I did laugh at you going postal in transition! I think that's the stage at which I started crunching DH's fingers and saying "I can't do this, it'll never come out". and veggie loved your deep looking into DH's eyes that just went scary!

belated happy birthdays to AK and Deirdre's grandpa and Summer's bro!

beans I can't believe Pru is 8 weeks already!!!

spot the business about schools and feeling like a mad middle class mummy - us too. We keep wondering whether to move when #2 comes, but there's no way we could afford a house bigger than the one we're in and stay close enough to get dd into the school we want (attached to our church). 10 years ago I would have laughed myself out of the room for these kind of worries! On the whole prices are supposedly coming down so if you can afford to rent for a few months longer, it's probably for the best.

WG so delighted about your scan hooray for wriggly babies! and for tearful dh's too

nolda, your gp sounds lovely and very sensible. Hope the ad's start to work for you soon.

deirdre so did you have a nice night out on Fri?

invis congrats on being an aunt! We're still waiting for the news on SIL, she's due some time before the end of August so any day now hopefully :)

ZJ re pointing out doors - we get that with men now, dd is very proud that she knows a man is a man so keeps telling them all! It's so sweet that they get so pround of themselves.

kiwi dd can't count either, apparently no matter how may flowers/birds/whatever there are in a picture, it's always two. We have kind of got the idea of three, I've found a handy parenting tool which is if she won't do something (eg get dressed), I say "On three, let's go and get dressed! One! Two! Three! Get dressed!" (yes there are that many exclamation marks needed, it's all super-positive mum-on-speed attitude as otherwise I tend to want to weep) and she falls for it every time. Muahahaaaaa

kayz! Hello! New man eh? Sounds like things are on the up for you :) How are the boys?

anyone I've missed - sorry... Hopefully see people on Friday, am torn about whether to bring dd or not - probably will, though she'll miss her nap and may well go postal (c. Effie) in which case apologies in advance!

Hello JJ - so glad the bleeds have ceased. Hope I am not worrying too many of you 2nd time clackered's - There is actually quite a calm over me at the moment! dd really is delightful I must reiterate and I am being a bit dramatic I must say. Despite all this, I am chuffed (is that how you Brits say it?) to bits with her (and having 2)

You sound like you're doing amazingly, Rubes, and a very good advert for 2! Well done too on the feeding, I remember the whole thing about hearing such conflicting advice and it must be even harder when you found it easier the first time around. Suffice to say that, hats off, you're doing great. I'm feeling a bit nervous about getting BF right the second time round as I failed so miserably first time (and feel, rightly or wrongly, that a lot of T's medical problems are a result of it). But I will get the midwife to check for TT immediately as I feel that was very responsible for my giving up so soon.

Hi JJ, good to hear things are sticking, long may DD keep up her nap. How are you feeling apart from the tiredness? Have you had much morning sickness? Oh, and how did curtain-gate pan out in the end?

We actually put in an offer on the house which needs a bit of work (and is near the good schools) First insulting offer was declined, as we expected. Then we put in another which we've said is final and are waiting to hear back. It's fifteen grand under the asking price but i think she's taking the piss a bit and agree that as prices are falling we shouldn't be in too much of a hurry.

Had a nightmare night on Friday at my sister's. T literally slept for 3 hours over the course of the night. We probably got about two. His travel cot is probably too small now (how big do they go up to?) but he is really crap at sleeping anywhere other than home. It does stop us doing as much as we'd like as the nights are just dreadful. Last night he slept 12 solid hours, so it's not as if he was ill, teething etc.

Wish I could be at the meetup on Fri but it's a working day for me so no go. Boo.

Hello everyone

Just back from my hols - lovely but wet, with a couple of huge rows re my driving thrown in - and wanted to say hello to everyone. I've missed you all and am glad to be back.

I've only skimmed but just wanted to send huge love to JJ and fingers crossed JJ2 settles down for you. Must have been super scary. WG, so thrilled for you with your great news.

And lovely Beans, you are a silly old thing. You are a hoot on the thread and even more so in RL. So very warm, friendly and funny. I'll happily pop over one night and we can sample the delights of a night out in Streatham.

Rubes, I am sure you are maxed out on advice for DD re the jaundice. Rather than throw my BF opinions in, when both DD2 and M had it (still at 3 weeks, bloods, urine etc threatened but Easter and Christmas got in way), I was told to get the baby in as much natural light as possible to break down the bilirubin. Can you feed by the window and let her sleep in the sun (behind glass, obv)? Might be worth a shot. Thinking of you and much love.

SUpper is ready. Must go. Lots of love to you all.

Evening,

Can I be slightly boastful please? DS1 is finally almost potty trained. At 3.5yo he is actually getting the hang of it and has been in pants all day with no accidents. I am so very proud of him. I never thought he would ever get it.

Rubes, you haven't missed much, plus you have a new baby. I have a new man in my life. Been together about 2 months and it is going brilliantly.

JJ, yes new man. The boys are fine thank you. DS1 starts at the nursery attached to the infant school in September. Its so scary!

jam hoped you enjoyed V - who was really good?

jump Good to hear babyjump is holding on there

Sybs Good to see you back from hols and that you had a good time overall.

spot Hope you get the house - fingers crossed. T's night sounded shocking. Lets hope it doesn't happen again any time soon!

Kayz Hooray for DS1, go Freddie!! Oh kayz you might not recognise my NN, I was daisydora but had to name change.

Who has a DC starting school in September? DD starts a week on Thursday < sob >. Can they write, especially their own name? Now I know DD is only just 4, and can sort of write it but its not really decipherable! She got all these cards on her birthday and everyone of her friends had written their own names...one girl had in fact wrote the whole card out and she's only 6 months older than DD. I think I am flapping about her being the youngest in the year. Please ignore my wobble....oh god I'm going to become one of those pushy school mums who's DD has to excel at everything

JJ So glad to hear the bleeding has stopped. I've been worrying about you.

Deidre my DD is starting school on 7 Sept. She was 4 at the beginning of July and she can't write her name although she thinks she can. If you use a lot of imagination you could say the letters were all there but she doesn't understand about writing them in any particular order or in a straight line. I saw one of the other children from her post-natal group on Sunday and she can read a whole story book (fortunately she won't be going to DD's school ). Does your DD's school start all the children together or do they have the children in groups? My DD will start mornings only with other children with summer birthdays, so hopefully she won't be too desparately behind.

nolda DD does mornings for 2 weeks and 2 days and then straight into it. There are 2 reception classes, and there are more 'younger' children in her class than the other one. Thing is I have no idea how they will approach writingh techniques etc. So I don't want to confuse her...I can imagine her telling the teacher "well mummy says I write it like this.."

Deidre I agree, it's difficult to know what you can do to help. It did say in the school starter pack that if showing your child how to write their name not to teach them to do it all in capital letters but no other advice, so I'll wait to see what her teacher says. I'm very keen to help her all I can once she starts and fear also that I will be seen as a pushy mum. My parents sent me to private school and I think I feel a bit bad that we can't afford to educate our children privately. The school she is going to is a good school and I know I shouldn't feel this way.

Morning ladies, we had very little sleep lastnight. DS1's 4 teeth are still coming through and keep him grumbling away at night, I think he's using my boob as pain relief and was feeding most if the night. I'm trying to get him off for a nap now. Then it will be coffee number 2 time. The neighbours still seem to be doing DIY so hopefully won't wake him but to be fair I think ge probably kept them up half the night.

DB for DS1's 4th birthday about 80% of the kids wrote their own message in the cards for him!!! Completely freaked me out. At 5 he can recognise some letters and can write his initials but gets the K around the wrong way, I think that's a left handed thing. Anyway, here they won't teach children letters or reading etc until their first tooth falls out. So around 6 for DS1 as he got his teeth late. Also here they don't really encourage parents to start teaching things at home because his teacher said if they don't like it or are too young when you start, it can cause a block for them when they start at school. Personally, if a kid is into it that's fair enough but I think 4 is way too young to be reading & writing. I have friends whose children could read a book at 4, but if you ask them to explain the story they just read they can't. It's very well to decipher letters, but comprehension is so much more important and at this age is best achieved by being read to from books with illustrations.

Oh and it appears that we might also be joining the housebuying ranks. DH has decided it might be a good time to buy due to the housing slump here and because we get a tax rebate on the interest we pay on the loan.