Dec 08 Ladies - LIghtning Strikes... and the usual gossip!

[Beans33]

Hope this works for everyone - I'm assuming Summer won't give birth in the next few hours!! x

JJ I'm glad all seems ok and it must be nice hearing the heartbeat anyway. Have a nice evening with your friends.

Summer???

Cheeky DS2 is being a bit naughty about going to sleep, I think the whole room change has got him quite excited. Our babysitter has already arrived and I've not even had a shower. DH & I are off to one of the beach bars, I'm going to have a Caprinhi(sp) in honour of Lady & a mojito for PD.

Have fun Veggie! You and your cocktails...

Ooh, JJ, that is a relief...

DD is stepping it up with the calling me Lady DP think it is hilarious and because he has been laughing, it has encouraged her. But at least I have a name of my own now, instead of 'Daddy'.

Got that Tom Cruise film to watch tonight - Valkyrie, or whatever it's called. DP keeps ordering complete shite off the LoveFilm account, we've had a really bad run.

Just had the best plate full of lard fish and chips ever.... Although I do miss the Aussie chippies with stuff you can't seem to get here! Vag do you remember potato scallops (Qld) but elsewhere I think they are potato cakes. However here they are different..... and dim sims.... YUM I miss those.

I nearly choked on my fish when I read about babylady calling Lady Lady!! priceless!

Yay for Samuel! Summer - thought that was your preferred for boy!
Summer that positioner (the latest one I have) is this one but I also have this one which I used with ds but has gone a bit skew-iff after putting it the washing machine! Both work well to keep them on their backs though as both my two (dd already showing signs) like to sleep on their tummies!

The norks are sore but persevering as it's only the very beginning when she latches on .... but I have had her appointment today and it's on the 25th so not too long to wait!
mil was over today and witnessed a separate problem today where she was constantly wanting to feed and then taking forever and then only settling if at all for 20 mins then acting hungry and crying again. She was also drawing her legs up and slightly blue so we def think she is windy and confusing it with hunger, but wondering why so windy as this was going on for hours which I told mil was all this week off and on. She wonders if it might be coffee but she could be right as I have been having copious amounts recently and so I'm going to go cold turkey on it and see if she is a bit more settled after feeds?

Oh and Lady - 3 cheers for mrlady and bringing home some goodies!
Agree with the unacceptable Friday night chicken carcass boiling activity too

Beans - hilarious cord vs willy story! Love it. Easily done.

very proud of ds today - ate loads of sausage with a fork (I loaded it but then he loaded it himself! However he loaded it with his hand not by stabbing it but whatever works! Then he read his whole book (well mil did) but he filled in the missing word which was "no" of course on every page - it was the "where is Spot" book ie "is he under the rug - no" So impressed I was!

OK Caffeine theory out the window. Haven't had a drop and she's kicked off non-stop again. Another thought is that perhaps if the tongue tie thing is significant enough that she is taking in a lot of wind when she feeds and therefore also feeling full but not really so wanting to feed again an hour later but also lots of cramps etc? Dunno... Out of idea's

Definite wind cry though

On the name thing, I also really like Samuel, but it was out of the question for us with DH's surname. One famous musician name in the family is unfortunate, but two would be carelessness.

Had quite an adventurous day today as my parents bought tickets for DD to go to the ballet (Cinderella). Incredibly, she sat through the whole 2.5 hours of it - I was convinced we would be out of there before the end of the first act, especially as she has been telling me that she is not keen on the ugly sisters. We were both exhausted by the end of the day, but I am very proud of her. Its exciting and sad to do new things with her and watch her grow up.

Oh and JJ meant to say - am v glad you have some reassurance and all seems OK. Do take it easy.

Had a lovely night with DH went to one of the beach bars to watch the summer fireworks, the Dutch love their fireworks. Had my Caiprinhia, then DH informed me that he has been meaning to make me one a he bought the Brazilian tipple (sorry can't spell it) that is it's main ingredient when he went to Copacabana for work. I pointed out that that particular business trip was nearly 3 years ago! So I'll be getting home made, learnt in brazil version soon (DH likes chatting to bar dudes so I think roughly knows how to make it). Also had a mojito (pronounced Moscghito in Dutch for PD) & my current fav final drink of the evening, an Italian coffee. It is really nice to feel a bit normal again and go out as a couple, not as mum & dad. It's been so long coming, and we still spend half the night talking about the boys but it's nice.

Invisible, wow on your DD sitting through the ballet, I still can't do it.

Rubs I hope this all settles down soon, you say it's just at the beginning of the latch, does it feel like it's a little less painful or still as bad? At least the blocked duct thing seems to have settled down.

Spot it's the last day of our staycation today we probably didn't do as much as we intended but we did have nice mornings in chilling out and then after naps chilled out at the beach. The good thing about living where you are is you never waste your day as you can just go to the beach. Also go to cafes, bars & restaurants as if you are on holidays, your saving on accommodation sonspend on feed!

Vag - it's at the beginning but hasn't really changed at all - still the same - worse when the hooters are more full. ds has taken to copying my facial expressions when I latch her on as he thinks its funny (my ouch expression!)
midwife has just popped around again. Wants me to come in for appointment to check her blood and everything for the jaundice. I suspect I shouldn't worry and it's more that they have probably heard that I bitched out the local midwives at the feeding clinic for signing dd off before she reached her birth weight again so I'd say they've been given a slap on the wrist and now covering their asses! She was weighed again today and is now 7.09lbs so above birth weight slightly, but just hiccuped and vommed up what looks like an entire days worth of feeds so probably slipped under again!
Your evening sounds nice vaggie.

Right ds is wearing me out - must put him to bed....

So...where did I get to!?!?
Sorry had a crap day yesterday, totally knackered from lack of sleep, didn't get to sleep until 6am, and parents got up with DS at 4am!?!? so they were tired too. So we were playing sleep tag all day and no time to get on the internet, plus I was feeling quite sore and inflexible and very overwhelmed with how I was going to look after 2. DD was better last night though, though I just co slept with her as DH getting up and trying and settle her back into moses basket just wasn't working and I can't yet get out of bed with her as I'm too sore. Don't really want to co-sleep long term though as I find it uncomfy and harder to sleep and worrying.

Anyway so where did I get to, oh I think i had started the gas and air, also I forgot to mention that I still had the continuious monitor thing on and that now DD's heartrate had been dropping at some contractions since about 7am, but they weren't overly worried.

So next time they checked how I was doing I was about 6cm and i thought everything was going quite well. I think it was about 11:45am by now. So keep on going. For some reason they are obsessed with the fact that I don't want to lie down on the bed and that I want to sit and stand up for contractions, saying that eventually I will get tired, but anyway, I seem to be doing ok to me.

Contractions start to get a bit further apart though, and i have some big ones that make her heart rate drop loads. So they get the consultant in to make a fuss discuss. They disucss taking a sample from babies head to see if she has enough oxygen in her blood but instead they suggest examining me to see if I am still progressing, etc. Unfortunately I am still at 6cm, (3hrs after last exam) and they think baby is now OP (back to back??) so they are now recommending a c-section. Seeing as my whole birth plan said that if everything was looking complicated then I would go straight to c-section we decide that we will go for it, even though I thought everything was going ok. I think i would have convinced them to take the sample from the baby and give more time if I'd wantedbut I decided against it.
C-section was about half an hour later. i have to say it is most unfair that you have to go in for spinal and they faff around through a few contractions and you can't have any gas and air!!! Anyway c-section was same as last time, no complications, all quite straightforward if a little scary in my not very with it state. DD was born at 2:57 and we could not believe she was a girl as we had been calling her he throughout the whole labour process and the midwife I had thought it was a boy too so we were convinced. I was pretty impressed with the weight too (8lbs 1), and looking at her head, it is quite big, so much as I was hoping for a natural birth, c-sections have their advantages.
DH and I got to have a little cry over our new daughter and then coo over her while they did all the sewing back up (it is great you have a little baby to look at to take your mind off this bit!). Then back to recovery where I managed to feed her fine and finally into the postnatal ward where unfortunately this time I didn't get a posh room to myself but just an area on the ward with no room to swing a cat!!

Those of you saying "wow you got out quickly", they were so busy they practically booted me out the door! I was a little alarmed as I was more sore than last time (probably since my catheter didn't come out til the next morning and so I hadn't tried to move for longer and so my stitches really hurt) so i was saying to them I thought I wasn't sure I would manage at home without the whizzy bed that wound up to help me get out, so they gave me stronger drugs and said "Oh well we'll put you last on our list of people to leave so you'll leave at about 5pm or so instead of 2 (this was at about midday when I had just managed to get out of bed), is that ok?! Fortunately it was in the end as once I had walked around a bit I realised it wasn't so bad and that I was just stiff. I guess they thought I was a seasoned pro at this stuff but still seemed a little hurried to me.

ANyway on the whole birth thing, I am a bit disappointed that it didn't go to plan as it all seemed to be going well and I really thought it would happen naturally for most of the 12hrs or so I was in labour. And also I did think that this time round it was quite amazing what my body did by itself (I was induced last time) and it would have been great to manage the whole thing (even if painful and traumatic I am sure). But in the grand scheme of things I am not that bothered, especially now as, fingers crossed, I am feeling much more comfortable so hopefully the worst of the recovery is over.

I have realised this is very long. It could have been summarised by "Went into labour, got to 7cm, got stuck/baby in distress, had c-section"!! Sorry!

Oh also contrary to all my worry beforehand, DS is DELIGHTED with his little sister. He gets really worried when she cries and comes over and strokes and kisses her. I can't believe it! And he has only tried to swipe her once, and not sure that was malicious. At the moment, he is being such a lovely little chap!!

Oh Summer poor you, I guess everyone can coo and say 'oh but you've got a happy healthy baby at the end of it' but that doesn't help now when you feel sore and having to look after 2. I guess pain wise both hurt, one hurts during the other hurts afterwards. Actually, you got the worst of it cos most of the pain is during the first stage, then there is the scary transition bit, which you kind of experience with the getting ready for the c-section. Not sure what I'm trying to say, I think basically you have every right to feel sore and sorry for yourself but as you said during the sewing up bit, it helps if you have a baby to cuddle. Is she really cute? Does she look like DS? That's so cute about DS worrying when she cries. DS2 has suddenly become quite cuddly and loving and even a bit empathetic, I would love to introduce him to a baby bro or sis right now. Congratulations Lightening, you've done a brilliant job, enjoy those cuddles now.

Well, it's Day 3 of 'Lady' so it looks like it's sticking.

Summer, thanks for posting the rest of your story, which I found really interesting. Sorry you're sore, I remember getting out of bed being tender last time (I mean at home, but my side is against the wall so shuftying to the the bottom of it was hard work). Keep scoffing those drugs and remember it will get better every day! Are your folks staying to help? That is super about DS.

Er, I am slightly scared now as it means that because you have had yours, I am next

Just to get my moans in, I was awake between 2.50 and 5ish this morn. I made a giant list of all the things I want to get done in the next few weeks, which actually made me feel better because prior to that I was lying in bed whilst they sloshed uselessly around my head.

How you doin' today, Rubes? How I wish that tongue tie appointment was sooner for you. Re: wind, can really tiny babies have Dentinox and stuff like that? I can't remember.

There's a lady who is married to a friend of mine who is expecting her first baby in a few weeks. He is quite a strong character and she is quite timid, and I am going to see her for lunch soon. She is keen for advice and I think reassurance. I desparately want to come up with some useful tips for her but my mind has gone blank. Also, she is hoping for an ultra natural birth and has been going to hypnobirthing classes and I don't know about that stuff - her DH was asking me an involved question about contractions today and I had to say I didn't have the foggiest idea what he was on about. So ladies, if I could ask you what general stuff I can pass on that will either be practical or give her confidence? I guess I would say

1. Every baby is different and don't be afraid to go with what they seem to like or need even if it's not exactly what's in the books or what your friends have done.
2. In the early days and months, try not to put yourself under pressure or beat yourself up about what you are doing or not doing. Your baby loves you and you are the best mother for your baby. And yes, there are times when things are going to feel hard. This doesn't mean you are a bad person or that you don't love your baby.
3. Any advice is only a guide (eg, some babies love to be swaddled, some hate it; some never take to a Moses basket, some love it). All the books tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps. That is a great and logical idea in theory but it never worked for me!
4. Buy loads of muslins, they're really handy.

Er...I can think of more but does that sort of stuff sound stupid?

Invis, that is so cool about your DD and the ballet. I can't wait for sharing things like that with DD. Though we watched Bagpuss together this morning and she liked it much more than she has done formerly

Jam, how did the bikinis pan out?

Veggie, what is Italian Coffee??

I suppose I should get to bed. As usual, though, I am wide awake.

Lady: she may well be concentrating on The Birth and only have a sketchy idea about what might happen afterwards! It might be helpful to have a chat with her after the baby is here - maybe 2 or 3 weeks in when it all seems to get much harder. Or was that just me?

Oh, and I sm still Daddy. Lady would be an improvement!

Hey Lady, advice for you friends if she is doing the hypno birthing tell her to start using the techniques as soon as she feels the first contractions (these for me felt like bad period pain). I was stressing about when i should start first time around and made it completely useless. Second time around I was so chilled out I didn't need it. Be flexible. Read as many birthstories as she can, there is a book by Ina May Gaskin called Childbirth, the first half of the book is birthstories and not airy fairy spiritual hippy stories but stories that show exactly how it happens without the flourishes. It's helpful to hear other people experiences to demystify it a bit and also understand where things like pre labour, 1st & 2nd stage happen. Also relaxing and just letting it all happen sounds easier said than done but it makes a huge difference to it all. Finally Gas&air is yummy.

My personal 'wish I'd known the first time round' ones are:

• Don't read any books before the baby is born, especially ones that talk about getting into a routine from Day 1. You and your husband will be looking at each other on day 3 saying, 'right, he's had a feed, what's his activity now? Is it too early for CBeebies?'

• Stay in bed as long as you can after the birth. I was in too greater rush to get back to 'normal' and not only did I miss out on some lovely 'babymoon' moments but probably damaged myself in the process (trying to exercise too soon, that sort of thing). Also, this will be impossible by baby o.2 ( I now realise) so make the most of it

• As Effie says, don't focus too much on the birth, if I were to see my 'birth plan' now I'd be howling with laughter. I had the hypnobirthing book too. And a warning, if you think that breathing through the contractions means it won't hurt, you are seriously deluded. It'll hurt like nothing before and you'll be making noises like a farmyard animal

• You will be dreading your first poo after birth. Almost as much as the birth itself.

Erm, there's probably more but I am being called. I get called 'car' a lot, as well as the odd 'mummy'.

Oh yeah def do the babymooning, we folded out the sofabed in our living room i wore only a dressing gown DS1 his nappy and just cuddled for a week plus. Was lovely. Also my best advice for afterwards was from someone on here, that babies need to sleep after 1.5 hours so about that long after last feed either snuggle with them to sleep or put them down to sleep and don't stimulate them too much & restrict visitors in the first couple of weeks to half hour visits.

Lady Italian coffee is like Irish coffee but with Amaretto instead of whiskey. Very yum.

I Love it Lady - I'd go with it! Such respect!
Yesz I do that list thing at odd hours too. Makes me feel so much better being organised, otherwise I spend my days trying to remember things I think need to be done and I get so worked up about what I might have forgotten. In fact I need to do a list now of things I need to buy when dh gets paid.

The knockers are bearable, although I expressed quite early last night and therefore I forced her to wake up to relieve me of my udders which were about to burst, as they were more painful than 10 seconds of latching on pain at 2am!

I had part 2 of my hair appointment yesterday - it was bliss - just having someone else wash your hair is a treat in itself these days! I'd be in heaven if I actually made it to a spa! Low and behold, dd slepts the entire time for dh AGAIN! We had visitors and when I got back she was still asleep and I think they wanted her to wake but she didn't until she was ready for a feed 4 hours later! Not sure what he does. He's the baby whisperer. I shall be booking into that spa sooner rather than later I think, itf this keeps up!

The m/w has now made a fuss about the jaundice (I might have said) as the nurse at the feeding clinic was a little miffed that dd had been discharged still being a little yellow and started bitching about the m/w discharging us, the whole time thinking it was berks midwives!!!!! When I informed her it was her very own that signed her off she was a little shocked and whadda you know the same m/w that 'discharged' dd showed up here yesterday and has insisted on an appointment at the hospital for jaundice screening of her blood. Now I'm a little worried, but hoping she is just covering her arse after she got a bollocking I bet.....
I have to go in on Tues (right before collecting the olds) and I did when they said they would also try for a urine sample!!!! In a 3 week old??? Give me strength!

Summer hope you are doing ok, and your parents are a great help - sounds like it if they are getting up at 4 for ds.
I had more but I have to go to the loo....

Thanks veggie aww you are so nice! whole thing not so bad really. Just a bummer about not being flexible but it does get better fast so hopefully give it a week and I will be running around haha.
Rubes yes my parents were super helpful. Unforunately they are now swapped for mil. Who is sort of helpful but annoying. She did get up with ds this morning (but at 7ish not 4 fortunately)
but she justwinds me up! Within about 10 mins of arriving she had grilled me about the birth and proclaimed that it was probably quite hard work having 12hra of labour followed by a csection "even if it was the easy first stage part". God she is a cheeky cow.
And her and dh were going to vanish off shopping this morning after dropping ds off at nursery!! Errrrrr hello this paternity leave you know is kind of for parenting not fucking off shopping with your mother!!! I told him he's to come straight back is that mean?

Aaaahhhhhh Rubs this annoys the bejuggers out of me, because they messed up they want a little baby & a post CSmum to have to come into a smelly hospital!!!! When I was in the community team we got so sick of tiny babies having to turn up for a blood test which can be easily done and collected at home that my community nurses started doing the test at home, the MWs can do it but are sooooo lazy and couldn't be bothered in our areas case to drop by the hospital to get the blood tested on the neonate ward.

Sorry I'm also cross because I ordered DS1's birthday present last tuesday and there has been a mess up with the order and they say they can't get it here until Wednesday, I demanded that they send it overnight delivery which they said they could do but it still might not get here until weds WTF!!!!! I was so angry basically they messed up and aren't willing to try to rectify the situation. The lady on the phone said it would be best to cancel the order!!!! I really can't get this thing anywhere by tomorrow I ordered it from them in plenty of time they stuffed up and aren't willing to take responsibility and fix it.

Not at all mean Summer - dh tried being a bit of a twat and using it as "sleeping in and diy leave" but I nipped that in the bud after I had a complete meltdown on day 1 of those antics! After that he pulled his head right in, but I did have to cry.

That mil of yours sounds like a pain in the arse. Mine was a gem, but my parents who arrive tomorrow are not quite as g'parentingly helpful, however that said, they will do whatever i ask them with regard to childcare stuff, and my Mum is also very good at the housework and laundry side of things without being asked, plus she will religeously walk the dog which helps a great deal too. MIL is not very tidy, but she really did try otherwise she knew I'd do it anyway!
Right, off to feed dd from right side and express on left before left explodes! dd must take in such a small amount that if my boobies get really big from missing a feed or expressing too early, she hardly gets through half a side! Therefore might be time to stockpile some boob juice for future spa trips

Crossed with you Vaggie - yeah dh said almost the exact same thing - just wasting my time cause they got slack and ditto re midwives....

Sorry about ds's prezzy - what a bugger.

Oh now I'm really angry, in my experience the first stage was the hard bit as it's the most uncomfortable bit yeah pushing uses some energy but bearing in mind I was in the 2nd stage with DS1 for 3 hours which is a bloody longtime I still found the first stage the hardest, and you had that plus CS and anyway is she saying a CS is easy!!!! Oh what a witch of a women, bad lady!

Breathe veggie breathe.

Right I'm off to try to find a present to give DS1 tomorrow that will satisfy him until his big present (a footbal table) arrives.

Thanks for the brill advice folks. If anyone has any more I am going to paste it all into a big document for her and print it off. I am slightly concerned that her DH thinks that if you get the breathing right and don't let the doctors lie you on your back, a blissful drug free natural birth can only follow When we all know that you can practice every technique under the sun and it may not happen. But I just don't want to rain on their parade. I do wonder what they are told in all these classes they are attending, though. Also, I asked my friend if he was driving her to hospital. He said he wasn't and then he said "too much kit, anyway, surely". Now, I am the most idiotic overpacker, renowned throughout the Western World for being unable to travel light. But even I basically only took toiletries and make up, nightie, few babygros and vests and one toy, change of clothes for me, phone charger (and iPod and book which I didn't touch).

Summer, you went through 12 hours of labour and were Xcm dilated. I am very ignorant of the stages thing but it still sounds hideously painful and hard work to me so your MIL should belt up. And no, you are not being mean - you are still in the early stages of recovery so you still need your DH around!

Rubes, it just shows I know nothing as your DD looked a normal colour to me, but sorry you are having to schlep to the hospital, that sounds rubbish. How did the hair go? And how does that straightening thing work? You have the chemicals put on your hair, have to leave them a few days and then it gets taken out? I would like a facial but every time I get something like that, or even use a face pack, I am spotty for days after and wish I hadn't bothered. I'd like a body scrub though or some sort of lymphatic stimulating massage (probably verboten during pregnancy).

Sorry about DS and the gift, Veggie. Those sort of things are so frustrating. Oh, and I love Amaretto.

I have a whole week, including the upcoming weekend, of being home. Have so much to do, but tbh I need a week of not dashing around so I can get organised and start working through that ginormous To Do List...