Dec 08 Ladies - LIghtning Strikes... and the usual gossip!

[Beans33]

Hope this works for everyone - I'm assuming Summer won't give birth in the next few hours!! x

summer I loved reading your birth story...sounds like bloody hard going,well done you, I don't think there is anything easy about a CS. I am amazed at you and Rubs being out so quick. After DS I transferred from the hospital I had the CS at to the local MW unit and stayed there for 4 days Was heavenly! Hats off to you both.

rubs is DD still windy after feeds? Have you tried 'infacol'. You give them a bit before a feed and a bit after, supposed to help them get their wind up. I used it with DDD, although not sure if it worked but maybe worth a try? Sorry if you've already tried that, I've not had a proper catch up.

lady Am LOVING little O calling you 'lady' - brilliant!

DS can now say 'sponge-bob' as well as tadpole but still no 'Mummy' .

veggie that is crap about AK's pressie. I'd be boiling...hope you get something sorted today. DD's birthday is Tuesday, she's getting a Go-Go hamster and some accessories! Also rather stupidly I am having a party for her at our house. We were hoping to go camping at the weekend so wanted to use the money from a party for that. But now it has forecast rain and my house is going to be trashed by 14 children...

DB his birthday is tomorrow too, how old is DD, DS1 will be 5. This time 5 years ago I was big fat & blissfully ignorant about what was about to become of my bottom. Just getting DS2 off to sleep so I can go out and shop for DS1's pressie. Also have to get party bags for the kids in his class because that's what they do over here. He is also having 3 birthday parties, one for his English speaking friends, one for his Dutch speaking friends and one in London for his London friends. The first one is a combined birthday as one of his friends here is 3 on Saturday & the London one is combined with his NCT mates. The Dutch one I haven't actually organised yet (bad mummy) but we are hoping to have it at the Sea life centre at the beach here.

DB I see your Spongebob & raise it to a 'da da da daaa' sung to ejecting of bob the builder whilst wearing a BOB hat. Our children are so talented.

DB his birthday is tomorrow too, how old is DD, DS1 will be 5. This time 5 years ago I was big fat & blissfully ignorant about what was about to become of my bottom. Just getting DS2 off to sleep so I can go out and shop for DS1's pressie. Also have to get party bags for the kids in his class because that's what they do over here. He is also having 3 birthday parties, one for his English speaking friends, one for his Dutch speaking friends and one in London for his London friends. The first one is a combined birthday as one of his friends here is 3 on Saturday & the London one is combined with his NCT mates. The Dutch one I haven't actually organised yet (bad mummy) but we are hoping to have it at the Sea life centre at the beach here.

DB I see your Spongebob & raise it to a 'da da da daaa' sung to the tune of bob the builder whilst wearing a BOB hat. Our children are so talented.

Lady lymphatic might be forbidden but there are some good pregnancy massages to be had.

Oops

Lady - yes depends on the lighting though. She can look fine and then take her outside and she looks slightly katie price fake tan ish. dh reckons she's not that bad though.

Deids yes she's still sometimes windy after feeds - some days yes some days not as much. I have Infacol but it doesn't al;ways help - I'm cutting back on coffee (perish the though) and It could well be helping I think. I always found that gripe water was best for ds though that's from 2 months. Mum is bringing some brilliant stuff from home which my friend swaers by. Mil thinks if she is having the tongue tie probs feeding then perhaps she is taking in more air than normal during feeds too. Hopefully all will be rectified after her appointment.

I'm doing a spot of gardening
Quite pleased with myself as dh finished the deck and I wanted to move the table onto it but everyone including dh, mil and dbil insisted it wouldn't fit - so I said to dh lets just try as I need to see, and it works brilliantly in the new position and more private! Only thing is, if we end up buying this place (it's on the cards) we will be ripping up the deck and extending the house

First stage the easy part? Her memory must be going! My second stage was DS2 was 15 mins and I was orbiting round the ceiling thanks to the lovely g&a. Its the first part that is tiring, which is WHY they worry if it goes on for too long. And you were quite right to get your DH back home.

Thanks for posting your birth story, I love to read them! It sounds as if your birth plan was really helpful in that you could make a quick decision to go for the CS. Judging by the the size of your DD and her presentation it was a good call.

Lady: I do worry about the 'getting through labour on armoatherapy and going Om' people. I had two pretty straightforward (snd quick) labours but it was still painful and hard work. I worry that people are being set up fir an amazing experience and are prone to depression if it doesn't work out how as they'd planned. Obviously relaxing and managing your birthing environment is a bloody good idea but stuff still happens.

My other top tip if breastfeeding look at www.kellymom.com

Oh and another tip for your friend, Lady, is that contractions aren't always in your tummy. I had agonising lower back pain for ages and didn't realise that I was in labour as I was expecting to feel squeezing at the front. By the time it dawned on me I was 8cm!

Back later for proper catch up.

Now Rubes, you be careful with the gardening! Not too much now...

Good luck with the parties, Veg and DB (you brave girls).

Wanted to summarise dietician?s thoughts in case it is of use to anyone or anyone you know (plus it?s quite interesting anyway). Feel free to skip. I was pleased as DD is now 9th centile so has gone up from the 2nd since we saw the paediatrician in June. Her height is 9th too.

The thinking is that she was traumatised by the vomiting bug she had before Christmas, (after which she never really regained her appetite, though she has never been a voracious eater, not since she has been weaned) ? this came at an unlucky time as, around the age of one, most children are going through the neophobic phase (fear of the new) as well as exploring issues of control (esp over their parents!) Anyway, all these things have got tangled up and it could take years to unravel them.

General points:

Our main task is to ?emotionally neutralise? the process of eating. No ?good girl? or ANY praise for eating, no persuading or bribing (sends message that food is so disgusting one needs a bribe to eat it) and certainly no blame or censure or parental demonstration of frustration WHATSOEVER. No referring to food at all other than saying ?It?s breakfast/lunch/supper now? and then ?breakfast is finished now? to signify the beginning and end. Avoid obviously watching them when they are eating (if you sneak a peek to see what?s going on, make sure they don?t catch you!)

Mealtimes last 20 minutes (ours was going on for well over an hour sometimes!) as, just like with adults, the brain sends messages to the tummy that the body is full after this time, even if only a few mouthfuls have been consumed.

When parents feed kids, it is about so much more than food as there is a whole emotional exchange going on (the child wants to please, rebel, or whatever; may feel guilt or pressure or other negative feelings which get in the way of eating). Get others to feed where possible (eg when we move, we are booking her into nursery for lunch 1-2 times a week). Also, eat with your child, and something that they are eating, at least once a day, as putting them in the highchair on their own can make them feel ?under the spotlight?.

As I mentioned, eating-resistant children need to see a food 15-20 times before the sight of it becomes familiar. To introduce new foods, put it on a plate with about three of the foods which your DC WILL eat, (as more foods on the plate than that blows their minds), and make sure none of the foods are touching as this also blows their minds. Just throw it away afterwards without comment. Rejoice if there is any touching or smelling. After 20 times of the food appearing on the plate (not consecutive) encourage next time first to touch, then smell, then lick, then bite then immediately spit out, progressing to swallowing - but don?t react if the child refuses. Just slow down the process or come to the food another time.

Encourage the child to pick foods in the supermarket, even if they don?t eat them, as it creates interest.

Get the child to experience different textures and smells without the worry and pressure of having to taste them by getting them to touch and smell (for eg) fresh herbs, and play with foods (start with something easy like dried pasta, moving on to wetter and stickier things).

Meat and fish can be hard for kids as the texture is either too fibrous or too slimy (like roast chicken) ? dietician recommended starting with Sainsbury?s mini breadcrumb bites than can be cooked quite crispy; salmon fish fingers instead of other sorts as these are drier and Sainsbury?s fine chipolata sausages, which are smooth inside. (Oddly she has started eating the occasional Quorn cocktail sausage).

We have been prescribed a short course of special formula and some iron drops to use for a few weeks as back up whilst we introduce the new regime. I also have to condense her two naps into one as the dietician thinks she is sleeping too much. I am a bit about this as I think she needs it but I am prepared to give it a whirl.

It was a long and detailed consultation but those are the main points!

Lady - that's interesting and some useful tips to try there. How long had her two naps been each? And then what did she sleep at night? Not that I'm any sleep guru, but the HV did go over sleep requirments for ds when she was here and pretty much said he was getting exactly what he needed (unfortunately) as he can't survive without a daytime nap at all but then only needs 7-6 really at night so about between 12 and 13 hours he gets total.

Oh and Lady - no there hair wasn't technically a straightening process as such. It was the Brazilian Blow Dry which is more a smoothing thing and anti frizz. My hair is a disaster straight from getting it wet and takes ages to dry and is quite frizzy and unruly but now, it's just a quick blast for 10 mins or a natural air dry and it's so much more managable. Shame it only lasts 3 months it's also REALLY good for your hair and a treatment at the same time. there's a new proper straightening product out which is fine for bleached hair so I may get that done as it's permanant. I just need to dramatically reduce time doing hair now! Well tbh I have reduced ever since ds but it's just resulted in me washing it less!!! And that's a bit skanky!

Oh and I'm totally fine! Gardening isn't strenuous at all! (not my kind at least) I mean dh had me helping him carry a solid oak outdoor table yesterday (actually I insisted) It's been 3 weeks! hasn't time flown.....

at lifting the table! Ooh, I like tubs of lavender on a deck.

I want a Brazilian Blow Dry. Your hair looked great the other day. When you mentioned it before, though, I was a bit confused about the Brazilian element

Sleep - she sleeps 8 till 8, or more usually 8.30 to 8.30 She will quite often sleep until 9 so we are talking 12 hours a night. Then a couple of hours late morning/early afternoon, and then very probably at least an other hour about 4.30 or 5. But she has always dictated her own sleep routine really so feel quite uncertain about changing it - if we are out for the day and she doesn't follow this pattern, she will either a)sleep in the buggy at the appropriate time or else b) get a bit ratty. I know DD2 is never going to sleep, purely because DD sleeps for two and that's the way the universe operates!

lady that was really interested to read...DS's eating has gone completely up the wall of late and DD has always been a fussy madam. Actually, reading that I can actually see where I went wrong with DD...I do try to be more relaxed with DS, some great tips in there.

Veggie I meant DD's birthday is Wednesday, and she will be 4. However, AK is in great company as my grandad is 80 tomorrow. I have just returned from Tesco, and now have endless amounts of crap to put into party bags and a Pinata, as they had one at a party on 'Handy Manny'...so we HAD to have one!

dont worry wouldnt do anything too strenuous - last thing I want is to do damage. Havent been on any meds for ages now so best that I feel if anything is too much.

Had great night and great morn feeding / sleeping etc then all went tits up after her feed at 10am ish - perhaps it IS the coffee as I had 2 cups thismorning. Fed her at 10, she settled for an hour and a half then has cried non stop and is blue round mouth etc... has done a couple of burps but still looks windy. Finally gave in and fed her again, and now she did a little vom and has hiccups AGAIN! So clearly she's not hungry, just confusing it with the tummy pains I bet.
Must cut out coffee altogether or give expressed milk in the am! However will I wake up!!!!

Oooh, cutting out coffee - that's a bad one. There are some brilliant decaffs out there now though.

Oh, and forgot to add the to the dietician stuff that the thinking about clearly signifying when mealtimes begin and end is partly that eventually dawdlers or fusspots realise that they have a concentrated time in which to eat and they need to get on with it. It also reduces their stress, in that they know it's finite.

I felt horrible to think of DD feeling stressed and under pressure. Mind you, the stress DP and I have felt about it has been off the scale It was very odd, because the day after the appointment we were on our way to Belgium and DD ate loads (for her). We did wonder whether it was because were seeming less tense after the good advice and reassurance.

Oh gosh it was interesting reading that Lady but I don't half feel terrible now and even more like I've broken DS1. Maybe the goddess sent me a good eater in DS2 so I wouldn't break another one.

On a happier note I have booked DS1 a fab birthday party at the sea life centre and as a bonus he gets a free annual pass as gift from them and DH & I can get a pass each too for ?15! we were planning on getting them anyway as both boys love the sea life centre, & would have been paying ?25 for DS1's and ?37 each for DH & I! DH thinks it's hilarious how excited I am about it, apparently when I was on the phone booking it I was sounding quite rediculously excited. I also got him some cool pressie to fill until his football table arrives. Including some roller-skates which attach to his shoes that only cost ?10 & hecreally wanted skates.

Rubs sadly I think you maybe onto something with the coffee i drank a lot with DS2 & he had reflux.

Also I agree effie about the aromatherapy births. I do believe that trying not to get too anxious and seeing birth all in the negative can have a bad effect but unfortunately in an effort to try to push it in a positive light it has caused the alternatives as negative rather than life saving. Also I know I might get flames for this but for me the pain wasn't really that bad, what I did find really difficult to cope with was the fear and anxiety esp in transition, at times I found it overpowering. Afterwards I could see it as an amazing thing my body had done but at time it was almost too much. Luckily DH was amazing and got me through it.

I wouldn't think like that, Veggie - truly. The tone of the consultation was very much that kids can become bad eaters for all sorts of reasons, it's a delicate thing, and not BLAMING us for trying to persuade or for praising or even getting cross (and believe me, I have got annoyed, esp when she has chucked food on the floor which I have made and had to bend to pick it up 67 times or whatever) - but pointing out it is not an effective way to change behaviour. I must admit I hadn't really figured to what extent eating can be bound up with emotion and of course it makes total sense.

Also, the paediatric dietician specialist was cool. She only used to deal with adults until she had a child of her own who turned into a toddler who would only eat apple puree. She said the stress and the shame of dealing with her daughter, when she herself was a food specialist, caused her to retrain and respecialise! She was incredibly unjudgy and admitted it had been a long road with her own DD (now 5).

Wow, that's so interesting, LadyT - DD1 is turning into a really bad eater at the moment. I'm rubbish at eating at the same time as her as she eats at 11.45am and 5.30pm, so totally different to when I would. Perhaps I should sit down with her. We have breakfast together on the sofa! Hmmm. Will have to think about that. And the other pointers were really interesting too. Will get onto it. Thank you for putting it all on here.

For your friend having her baby, the breathing is important in the birth, but do tell her that epidurals were invented for the benefit of women in labour, so if she really wants to - HAVE ONE!!! That's what my GP said to me and I really appreciated it.

Summer -your birth story was really interesting to read. WEll done you as it's such hard work! How is the lovely Helen doing now?

Rubes - if it's any consolation, DD2's wind suddenly got better at about 6 weeks. She's still pretty pukey and burpy, but so doesn't suffer as much now. I know all babies are different, but hoping the same happens for you. In fact, 6 weeks was when I started to feel things were coming together! It's 8 weeks now. Wow, it's gone so fast. But also feel like she's been around always, not just 8 weeks!

Rubes: DS1 was v colicky and reacted to coffee, red wine (boo!) chocolate (double boo!) and chilli. Some people will tell you that the link between your food abd their windiness is a myth, but it was very obvious for us.

Oh, I know Beans, I have breakfast with DD but my other meals are eaten at completely different times to her. I draw the line at having dinner with her so am making an effort with lunch. Oh, and the arrival of DD2 is bound to make your DD1 unsettled or seeking more attention, and at that age, there aren't too many arenas in which they can make that plain, bless them. I know how annoying it can be but I guess try your hardest to pretend it isn't getting to you.

I will tell my friend that, Beans. I do worry that she and her DH are in the mode that it's only a case of getting things 'right', that doctors and drugs are the enemy, and all that jazz. I think they are dangerous modes of thinking.

They are a bit dangerous modes of thinking - I think you have to just follow your body and if you need some pain relief because you're exhausted and in unbearable pain, then have it! And I wanted every drug under the sun and only had G&A, so at other end of spectrum - had a natural birth, but was keen for drugs if necessary!

hello everyone! I've returned from the land of sheep and hills, am almost on top of the washing (I'm pretending the ironing pile doesn't exist) and it's taken me a couple of days to catch up...
Firstly a huge congratulations to summer ZJ sent me a text (thanks ZJ) and I was so thrilled for you. Your birth story was amazing and you sound so positive and level headed about how it all unfolded. Hope you're enjoying these precious days.
I'm unsure of whether I congratulated Jolly before I went, so I'll say it again in case! Well done you
Spot congratulations on the boy news! That's lots of money saved I've barely bought a thing for Phoebe because she just has Lucy's hand-me-downs!
WG sorry you're feeling rather pregnant already - if it's any reassurance, I was in my normal jeans and didn't look pregnant at 20 week scan with L, but was already in maternity clothes at 11 weeks with P! You're body knows what's coming this time! I know it's so hard when our bodies change, but embrace it - you're blooming!
JJ sounds like you've been having a scary time Hope you have no more bleeding - do take care of yourself. Any chance you could have a week or 2 off work just while you get over this fragile patch?
Lady that dietician stuff was so interesting andn helpful to lots of us, I'm sure. Thank you. I love that dd calls you 'Lady' .
Pubes it was good to hear what your HV said about speaking too. I asked mine a few months ago, who said she needs to have a bout 20 words by age 2, so even less than yours said. Which is good, as P is going nowhere with her speech!
veggie I was cross on your behalf about the pressie for AK, but it sounds like things are working out well now. Sea life sounds fab! And great that you and dh got some grown-up time too.
deidre you're sounding well. Are tihngs with DH still ok?
nolda your situation sounds very difficult and I really hope your positive action pays off well.
beans you sounds so happy with the Little Beans Family and are a wonderful advert for having another baby...
zj you had a scarily productive day the other day - I order you to sit on your bum and eat cake today
Kiwi how's the feeding going> Is dd still demanding you whenever she sees you? Did you decide about going away? Sorry if you've said and I've missed it.
We've not seen aubs, dora, katie, NJAN or mom for a while...hope you're all ok if you're lurking.
PD fab to see you and your cheerfulness again!
Invis how's things?
Jam how are your terrors I thought it was girls who were nightmares, so it seems it's all of them! Hope things settle down soon.
Hope I've not missed anyone but I'm sure I will have done.
Well our holiday was great. Fab cottage - girls had their own rooms so once they were settled in bed we had grown-up evenings, eating lots and playing board games (yes I know, we're quite sad!). We had busy days so ended the girls were shattered and voth slpet in till 8ish every day. Phoebe was amazingly adaptable, much more than I had anticipted - she never napped in her cot because we were always out and about, but managed to sleep in the car or buggy mostly, so survived well! Our friends (without kids) were sooooo good with the girls and loved it, and the girls were both happy in their compamy, so all went well. I got grumpy on the way back which took forever though! The only incident while we were away was Phoebe and I being hit by a car We were walking along a road (no pavement, wall on my left), Phoebe on my right hip, when a car drove past us but didn't leave us room so drove into us and knocked us into the wall. Amazingly we were fine! My right arm/ elbow was a bit hurt, but Phoebe seemed totally unaffected and even smiled at the driver when he stopped! The guy got out to see if we were ok, and he was an old welsh man who was so shaken that I ended up checking he was alright because I was a bit worried about him! I even apologised to him for the damage to his car (the left wing mirror was knocked completely off!)! Anyway, I came home and had a good cry and some biscuits (think I was a bit shocked) but was actually completely fine after about an hour, so I think God was looking after us. It still terrifies me to think what could have happened to Phoebe.
Anyway, I may have sent you all to sleep with this post so I ought to go!
xxx

sorry about all the spelling errors in that post! I'm out of practice

oh and I forgot to mention, while we were away I saw a newspaper article about a girl in Mnachester who was told by a bus driver to stop BFing or get off the bus! Did anyone see it?
Right, that's my 3 posts...

Trace: that is awful. Thank goodness you're ok.