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210 replies

CardyMow · 22/06/2010 13:13

Could they POSSIBLY hit low single income families worse? Freezing child benefit for 3 years, abolishing the Health in pregnancy grant from April 2011, Getting rid of the baby element on CTC (how that helps us when I'm 3 months pg and DP only earns £16,000 is beyond me...), Lowering the thresholds for Housing benefit (we won't be able to pay our rent without the money we get on housing benefit), saying that people in social housing may no longer have a reasonable housing benefit allowance or entitlemnet for a suitably sized property. I note that they are CUTTING tax rates for businesses. Nice to know that they are hitting the poorest of us that chose to work. We are now in the situation where we are really going to have to consider whether we can AFFORD for my DP to have the luxury of having a job when we will be so much worse off than we would be on benefits, I think we may end up homeless otherwise. It might make DP feel like more of a human being to go out to work and slog his guts out for £16,000 pa, but if we can't feed our kids and pay our rent....

OP posts:
StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 22/06/2010 18:27

We have a tory government.

The tories attack the poor and benefit the rich. THAT is what they do.

I'm off to join the Labour Party.

I am disgusted with this.

gingernutlover · 22/06/2010 18:28

so you knew that you had a 15 in 100 chance of gettig pregnant and it didnt occur to you to also use condoms??????

yes as you point out, that still wouldnt be 100 percent foolproof but if you genuinely didnt want to get pregnant again why choose the less effective contraceptive (for you personally)

it is a bit crap that you couldnt get sterilisation or the snip when you asked for it - it is, however, not the PCT's fault you got pregnant.

CardyMow · 22/06/2010 18:28

And at least as a family, we are TRYING to work! It's more than most families I see are trying to do. We get regularly lambasted by others because we are living on LESS money than them just because DP gets off his arse and goes to work. So sue me if I'm thinking that this is just going to be the straw that breaks the camel's back, WRT the lack of baby element on CTC and the cuts to housing benefit. Maybe when ANY government accepts that some families can only have one wage earner due to a parents disability/caring responsibilities/both, and pay a decent minimum wage, more people would try to work. We are just scraping by now, this is going to put us over the edge. By the way everyone here is talking, I should be locked away in some asylum and prevented from ever procreating, despite the fact that when I had my first 3 dc's, DD hadn't yet had her problems diagnosed, and I didn't get diagnosed with epilepsy until AFTER dc3 was born. AND both my partner and I were working FT then. Circumstances change, and it's not always through choice!

OP posts:
CardyMow · 22/06/2010 18:30

And FYI, we WERE using condoms. And I was taking the progesterone-only pill. So as you can see, we REALLY weren't expecting to conceive!

OP posts:
leavingonajetplane · 22/06/2010 18:32

Think the OP was actually posting about how low single-income families have been hit by the budget rather than looking for a discussion on on her sex life.

Loudlass there seems to be more reassuring details in the posts in the start of the thread, about who precisely will be affected by what so it may not be as bad for you as youre fearing.

Try not to panic, the details of each measure, and the way they apply each one are what really matters.

TheSugarPlumFairy · 22/06/2010 18:33

just for info OP, baby clothes and outfits are dead cheap on Ebay.

i have just bought a bunch of lovely pumpkin patch outfits for 9 week old DD on ebay for about 99p each. Even with postage it comes to about £3.00 an outfit.

Also, have you considered starting your own business? Sell Avon, make cupcakes for the local grocery store, do car boot sales or start an ebay shop.

OnlyWantsOne · 22/06/2010 18:35

Not many men in their 30's would put up with a sexless relationship, no matter what difficulties arise from that. And nor should they have to.

So... sex is a right now?


gingernutlover · 22/06/2010 18:35

fair enough, your post at 18.07pm made it sound very much like you werent.

It is crap, the whole situation, yes. Everyone is taking hits financially, and many many families are goign to be worse off - including mine and yours . Unfortunatly not a thing we can do about it except get on with things the best we can. Fingers crossed things work out okay for you.

gingernutlover · 22/06/2010 18:37

very much liek you werent using condoms that is.

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 22/06/2010 18:37

Oh for god sake, leave her alone. She's got enough on her plate without people harranging her over her love life!

TheJollyPirate · 22/06/2010 18:40

It's hard loudlass - I am in essex too and have a child with SN. I am fortunate enough that I only have the one child (my body doesn't do pregnancy) so the cuts are going to affect me very minimally (I think). Although as a public sector worker I have a 2 year pay freeze but as I'm on less than 20k I'll get £250 both years which is better than nothing.

Hope things work out okay for you as it sounds like this budget is going to hit your family hard.

OnlyWantsOne · 22/06/2010 18:40

I, for one was not harranging her for her love life, more her attitude about life and relationships.

Here, have a

gingernutlover · 22/06/2010 18:40

erm ... haven't we all?

my last post was written as support to the OP

gingernutlover · 22/06/2010 18:41

well said onlywantsone

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 22/06/2010 18:43

Good, play nicely or nobody will get any bisquits!

gingernutlover · 22/06/2010 18:44

oooh are they chocolate bourbons? Or do they have VAT on them? LOL

TheJollyPirate · 22/06/2010 18:44

I don't think anyone is saying that sex is a right but it's a neccessity for many relationships. To those of you better off - try telling your partner/DH that sex is off limits if you fall on harder times - many men would leave after a year or so of that.

Sex happens and despite contraception pregancy happens sometimes too. Get over it and stop hassling the OP about her relationship. It's not easy - she has a disability and so does one of her children - now you want to deny her a sex life because you - oh poor you - are a taxpayer - AND SO IS THE OP's DH.

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 22/06/2010 18:45

20% from now on am afraid!

misdee · 22/06/2010 18:45

you will be entitled to the HIP grant though, as will hit 25 weeks before they remove it.

am sure you will be fine.

and good luck with dc4.

btw we have 4 dd's in a 3 bed house. we are not considering moving as dont want to.

my dh earns 10k less than your dh and tbh we arent overly concerned.

Aduby · 22/06/2010 18:46

Loudlass, are you eligible for carers allowance re your SN DC? I have only recently found out I was and it has made a big difference.

CardyMow · 22/06/2010 18:50

It's not so much my attitude to 'life' as the shitty hand that life has dealt me, and yes, I do take personal responsibilty for some of the more daft things I did when I was younger. Refusing to have a termination when I fell pg at 16 (despite being on the pill, no-one told me that a tummy bug would stop it from working) due to my beliefs didn't exactly help me to gain any useable qualifications.

Expecting that my first 2 dc's father wouldn't be a cheating bastard that wont pay maintenance when he fucked off with a new model was a huge mistake. Not being able to see into the future wrt being diagnosed with a disability after having my third child, well that was a rather difficult point. Of course, If I had been able to see into the future that I would be unable to work, I may well have stopped at one or two dc's. In my defence, I had an awful childhood, in and out of foster care.

I suppose my DD being diagnosed with all her different problems could have been avoided too? Or the fact that the man I fell in love with is never going to be a high earner? Should I have based my decision on who to fall in love with based on their income alone?

Gingernut, I hope it's not too bad for you, I'm going to wait to see how it all shakes out, but am petrified that we are going to be in the situation where the only way to survive is for DP not to work....

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 22/06/2010 18:51

Why has Loudlass had to explain the ins and outs of her entire life to justify her OP?

Her family would be better off financially if her DH gave up work and claimed benefits.(So I'm lead to believe I haven't worked it out)

It does say a lot for our basic benefit system, V minimum wage.


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nickschick · 22/06/2010 18:54

This is truly dreadful I feel very sorry for the op and think she is being unfairly treated by several of you.

She can only sell stuff on ebay or at a car boot if its worth selling - on a limited income shes hardly going to have brand new boden to sell is she? to make cupcakes and sell to a grocery store sounds idyllic in reality shed need a food hygeine cert and be blkoody good at baking to do it .....avon?? with all her dc in tow?

Its not forever, her dc will grow and she will find work for now she needs support and shes very upset that the rug has been pulled from under her.

Why go on about her sex life?.

CardyMow · 22/06/2010 18:54

Nopoe, no carers allowance as she has lots of 'little' things, not one big thing. My house wouldn't be so bad if they were all girls or all boys, but my eldest (12yo) is a girl, my younger 2 (8yo and 6.5yo) are both boys, and I have a sneaky suspicion that bump is a girl...and DD's room is not big enough for a full size BED(she's still in a junior bed despite being 12yo and 5ft 1!) let alone anyone else. tbh although it would be quite nice if bump is a girl, I'm kind of hoping that it's a boy, if only for practical, space reasons!

OP posts:
CardyMow · 22/06/2010 19:02

And it's impossible to even get 'little' jobs like avon/ baking with my disability. It'd be nice to have anything worth selling. A few years ago, I was in bad debt (have worked our way out of it now, just), and had a baillif come in. He actually rang his boss to say that I had nothing that they were allowed to take! You can't do a car boot without a car either. And obviously, my sex life is far more important than the fact that the Tory government that I voted for, who promised not to hurt people in my situation, have done exactly that. The rich don't seem to be suffering in the way we are going to. Why could they not raise income tax for those on over £100,000 pa to 50%? Why take it out on those in society who have no other way of supporting themselves? Why not castigate the stupid (Labour) government who have been keeping wages artificially low for 12 years so that you can no longer get a proper wage for a full time, essential job? Why belittle a family who are trying to work, and not the ones that I know with 6 or more dc's that have never worked, never will, and don't have any SN in their families?

OP posts:
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