Depressed lefties sign in here...

[WilfSell]

...on the grounds that if we assume there will be a Tory govt, then the crowing triumphalism of all the Chinless Wonders and Thrusting Monetarists and Nasty Racists who'll poke in here to crow and gloat, will somehow force a cosmic rift in the time-space continuum. And it will be like 1992 all over again but the other way round.

I fear the best we can hope for is a hung parliament.

I've suggested hemlock for the Election Night supper thread...

Thanks Wilf. You are, as of now, officially my only follower. My first tweet will be all for you.

johannhari101
paulwaugh
torybear
psbook
sunny_hyundal

My following list is mainly political tweeters so if you look at applejuicesnap which is me and then click on my followers and have a nose through!

What you have to do is go round following everyone and - unless they are a Very Important Celebrity who is Up Their Own Arse - they will follow you back.

Oh and how could I forget, mrchrisaddison is nothing short of brilliance.

Chris Addison v good (mrchrisaddison)

I would like to marry Chris Addison.

Shame he is too old for me oh and already married, I reckon his wife is probably a Mumsnetter you're a lucky lady!

Have you all been listening to '7-Day Sunday' on 5Live? Pretty funny.

Soooo, is this the thread for tomorrow night then? Can we agree a general amnesty (all welcome so long as you want the Tories not to end up with workable majority) or do those of us who wouldn't be weeping into our Lambrusco Rosato at a hung parliament/LibLab deal need to go elsewhere?

I think this thread will probably run out pretty quickly, maybe we could start a new one tomorrow evening? Depressed lefties: Live Election Results Thread

I have work on Friday, I think I may have to sleep at some point, boo.

I am watching the DC speech on BBC at the moment, why is he on!? The audience shouting change when he asks a question is HILARIOUS.

Ooh ooh, Chris Addison lives near me! Spotted once in the local park and by a friend at a primary school open day last year. Will have to follow him now.

Have had enough TV election coverage for now. Are they waving those RIDICULOUS "DC10" placards? Are his sleeves rolled up?

GAH

I have Sancerre ready and waiting in the fridge too Lenin, I also have a bottle of champagne, y'know - just in case!

Oh I think anyone who doesn't want a Tory govt is welcome here, Wonk, (just so long as they don't want a BNP or UKIP one either obv).

I may have to break my no drinking midweek rule tomorrow to Get Through.

We may need another thread ... Can we ask for no swooping in by exultant crowers should the Tory govt. happen? No Leftie/Centrist baiting.

I'm not sure I'd even appreciate the light relief of ripping an interloper to shreds ... .

I've taken Friday off work so I can stay up and watch Charlie/David/Jimmy until the outcome is clear.

Work tomorrow but I'll sign in the Depressed lefties: Live Election Results Thread later.

Agree, ignore them and they'll get bored.

If we have a few gloaters (oh you heartless gloaters! as Percy says on Blackadder) a policy of stonewalling should suffice. I'm sure there'll be a righty thread as well. But they will have better booze and nicer chairs (PLEASE someone say that they heard John Finnemore on the Now Show talking about the Mail's expose of Clegg's 'expensively covered modern chairs')

Oh no, you can't watch the alternative election night, you have to watch the BBC! Fact

How the Tories will cause the end of the world. Probably.

I'm spending election night with Mitchell and Brooker and ain't nobody going to stop me!

Hmmm. We'll have something perhaps slightly uncomfy by Matthew Hilton or Jasper Morrison, and they'll have Parker Knoll - and be smirking because our decor is so 90s. And we'll just ... laugh at the Parker Knoll.