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Blaming circumstances rather than taking some responsibility?

154 replies

Ruskins · 28/10/2026 07:21

In light of the budget today, do we think that without trying all that much harder, some of these people complaining about their circumstances could do so much better.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cmx235r9wr3yo

Take Robert for example. He is 29 and earns £22k a year at Newcastle Airport. Still lives at home with his parents, and is single (no surprises there if he's still living at home). At minimum wage, on average that equates to 33 hours of work per week on average.

He says his getting to work costs for his 32 mile commute are £750 a month including car finance, and he pays his mum £250 for rent and food. His earnings after tax will be £1,613 per month.

Excluding the likely costs for fuel, insurance, tax, and a bit of maintenance, I’d estimate that his car finance is likely costing him around £500 per month. That’s nearly a third of his take home – batshit insane!

He desperately wants wants to move out too, yet seems (judging by the framing of the article) to blame circumstances for his poor predicament.

So what would I do if I was him?

Firstly I'd ditch the car finance and buy a cheap fuel efficient small car for £1,000 (ish), taking a small loan if needed to achieve that (£500 a month saved).

Move out from his parents (£250 month saved).

Rent a luxury 2 bed flat on the side of Newcastle nearer the airport (less commuting distance) and find someone to rent the 2nd room. Cost £750per person including all bills and council tax. Key here is that 2 bed flats are far cheaper per person than a 1 bed flat, and you get much more for your money.

His monthly costs would then be as follows:

Rent, bills, council tax: £750
Car & motoring expenses (assume living nearer airport): £300
Food (learn to cook): £250
Phone/internet: £50

Total of £1,350 so leaving him with £263 a month spare cash.

And after that he’s left living in a lovely flat in a lovely part of town. Much more viable a prospect as a potential partner I’d have thought without his parents cramping his style?

Once the above is established, I would then take on a small part time job, perhaps in a bar so he can socialise and meet people at work. 12 x hours per week, taking his working hours per week to 45 hours per week should be easily achievable and would bring in an additional £500 a month after tax.

This extra cash can be invested in training to further his skills so that he can bring much more value to the workforce and consequentially earn far more than the minimum wage job he currently has. Or he could use his extra money to start a business or invest for a deposit on his own place. Or he could just spend it and be happy.

It's really not that hard is it? Or am I the crazy one for suggesting that people should become more self reliant, and work harder to further themselves rather than sit moaning, blaming circumstance for their current dissatisfaction with life?

OP posts:
Nolongera · 29/10/2026 09:34

dwordle · 28/10/2026 18:30

250 quid for food, hardly realistic. Food for one person will be close to 100 for the week.

There are 2 adults and 2 dogs in our house and our monthly food and other shopping ( cleaning, bog roll etc.) is £250, we eat meat every day and whilst we don't live like kings, we don't skimp.

£100 a month for a single person is entirely workable.

Also, he could work overtime, like most people do when they are young to get on in life.

Nolongera · 29/10/2026 09:44

Nolongera · 29/10/2026 09:34

There are 2 adults and 2 dogs in our house and our monthly food and other shopping ( cleaning, bog roll etc.) is £250, we eat meat every day and whilst we don't live like kings, we don't skimp.

£100 a month for a single person is entirely workable.

Also, he could work overtime, like most people do when they are young to get on in life.

Edited

Edit, I can't edit my previous post, but it should say £350.

dwordle · 29/10/2026 18:05

Don't you find that cooking for a family is often more economical than for one. Cooking for one can expensive. I think 100 a month is simply unrealistic considering a loaf of bread is 1.40, box of cereal 3 quid, apples are like 3 quid a pack, block of cheese 3.00, ham 3.50. Two pints of milk 1.40, not even covered evening meals yet...that's like breakfast and lunch for a week

Why are we so critical of people who live with their parents. A lot of cultures it's normal to and if all parties are happy with it why not.

Ellen2shoes · 29/10/2026 22:28

I agree. At first I thought this might just be a clumsy attempt by OP at what used to commonly be known on MN as stealth bragging.

Has made me nostalgic for previous simpler/kinder threads. Am I seeing the past MN through rose tinteds or have threads become more vicious generally I wonder.

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