Blaming circumstances rather than taking some responsibility?

[Ruskins]

In light of the budget today, do we think that without trying all that much harder, some of these people complaining about their circumstances could do so much better.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cmx235r9wr3yo

Take Robert for example. He is 29 and earns £22k a year at Newcastle Airport. Still lives at home with his parents, and is single (no surprises there if he's still living at home). At minimum wage, on average that equates to 33 hours of work per week on average.

He says his getting to work costs for his 32 mile commute are £750 a month including car finance, and he pays his mum £250 for rent and food. His earnings after tax will be £1,613 per month.

Excluding the likely costs for fuel, insurance, tax, and a bit of maintenance, I’d estimate that his car finance is likely costing him around £500 per month. That’s nearly a third of his take home – batshit insane!

He desperately wants wants to move out too, yet seems (judging by the framing of the article) to blame circumstances for his poor predicament.

So what would I do if I was him?

Firstly I'd ditch the car finance and buy a cheap fuel efficient small car for £1,000 (ish), taking a small loan if needed to achieve that (£500 a month saved).

Move out from his parents (£250 month saved).

Rent a luxury 2 bed flat on the side of Newcastle nearer the airport (less commuting distance) and find someone to rent the 2nd room. Cost £750per person including all bills and council tax. Key here is that 2 bed flats are far cheaper per person than a 1 bed flat, and you get much more for your money.

His monthly costs would then be as follows:

Rent, bills, council tax: £750
Car & motoring expenses (assume living nearer airport): £300
Food (learn to cook): £250
Phone/internet: £50

Total of £1,350 so leaving him with £263 a month spare cash.

And after that he’s left living in a lovely flat in a lovely part of town. Much more viable a prospect as a potential partner I’d have thought without his parents cramping his style?

Once the above is established, I would then take on a small part time job, perhaps in a bar so he can socialise and meet people at work. 12 x hours per week, taking his working hours per week to 45 hours per week should be easily achievable and would bring in an additional £500 a month after tax.

This extra cash can be invested in training to further his skills so that he can bring much more value to the workforce and consequentially earn far more than the minimum wage job he currently has. Or he could use his extra money to start a business or invest for a deposit on his own place. Or he could just spend it and be happy.

It's really not that hard is it? Or am I the crazy one for suggesting that people should become more self reliant, and work harder to further themselves rather than sit moaning, blaming circumstance for their current dissatisfaction with life?

No, my family don't operate under those rules and my partner's fanily definitely do not. In his family, most kids stay home until they buy or rent a home long term with a stable partner.

This idea that you and your kids are failures unless they are out by 18 is a capitalist thing that has contributed to the destruction of the family.

I hope my kids stay home until they have a deposit and somewhere they want to live. Paying someone else's mortgage seems stupid to us.

Old cars don't have to be unreliable. We've run plenty of cars between 15 - 25 years old over the years and none have ever broken down or handed us a bill we can't handle. Yet we have had many friends who have had new cars recalled, or in the case of our neighbours, their 6 month old Range Rover that left them stranded at night on the M6 is still at the dealership after 2 months because of a fault that is seemingly proving impossible to diagnose correctly. Old cars if maintained on schedule and looked after are not as unreliable as the new car sales people want you to believe.

And it is usually false economy to spend a guaranteed £3,000 every year on finance to avoid a potential (but unlikely) bill of say £1,000 on an older car owned outright.

Free parking at Newcastle airport for employees and contractors.

Old cars don't have to be unreliable. Cars for a grand typcially are.

I'm sorry but kids still at home after around 21 and unable to support themselves very much so sound like failures.

Paying rent can be liberating if it allows you to further your career, travel to seek better opportunities, and wish to be flexible with those potential opportunities. It also teaches valuable life skills you simply wont learn living at home.

Only employees or contractors of the airport itself - not employees of third party employees like airline check-in staff.

Not in my experience. But the guy is paying £500 a month for a car he doesn't own and living at home with his parents. He needs a far cheaper means of transport.

I suspect some of these attitudes are typical mumsnet where people have money and are horrified by cars being more than a year or 2 old. I have a 10 year old car ( will need to replace soon due to family getting bigger) and it will probably sell for only a couple of grand.

Personally I think your scenario is mostly sensible however I would suggest he just puts up with staying at parents for another year or 2. Saves like mad and has a 20 - 30 grand deposit to buy. If he bought a 2 bed flat and got a flat mate to help with costs he would be laughing.

I also think he should be taking every overtime shift bar work shift or anything else to get him out and help the deposit. If he started saving 5 years ago he could be a cash buyers almost.

Just checked, worse case scenario for parking is a 12 month permit for £500 for the year. That's £41 a month. So his financed (rented) car is likely costing him £460.

My son is 19 and could support himself in a flat now as he has savings and income to do so. He works full time. However, he would not be able to save more, he would be coasting. He wouldn't be advancing himself, he'd just be paying his own bills in his own home. All to prove to some weird outsiders that he can do it. Seems silly. He's doing great saving money and being one of the adults in our family home.

Yes a sensible potential option.

You’re assuming he has £500 upfront for a 12m parking permit, which isn’t likely on his wage. Far more likely that he’s having to pay as he goes.

He would prove to himself that he can do it, which ultimately might be a far more valuable life skill than living at home with mum.

It's £200 for 3 months parking, so £66 a month. Stop nit picking and perhaps see the bigger picture.

Or you could stop picking a deliberately optimistic scenario and accept a less self-congratulatory and smug middle ground.

His rent and bills and food are 250 a month living with mum.

they’re over a thousand with your idea.

your idea seems to significantly increase his costs.

My dc did her degree in Newcastle and is moving back there. The metro does not run all night and assuming he has unsociable hours (most airport staff do) it won’t get him to work for 4am or similar.

my dc has bought an e-bike but they are not cheap and it’s fucking freezing in the winter.

(my dc cannot drive for disability reasons).

He knows he could do it. He can see what money he has. He also knows he could run our home including looking after the youngers in our absence. He has adult responsibilities in the family home already. When he moves out, it won't be the first time he has used a washing machine.

You can give your children growing responsibilities in your home throughout their childhood as well as ensure they are privy to all you and any other adults do to keep the house going. That way, they don't end up like many of the adults I've had as clients who have bought a home, and have no idea how to maintain it.

For instance, my son does all the food shopping in the house. Online mostly but also in person. Since he started his full time job, he pays for it.

I think it is very hard to make ends meet for young people but I think the bottom line is many people experience a drop in living standards when you leave home. HMO, less desirable area, driving a less desirable car. Young people today seem to want a seamless transition and expect to match the more affluent lifestyles of their parents immediately.

I’m not sure that moving out would be cheaper. But I agree that spending that much a month on his car is crazy.

Sure, it's always more expensive when not sponging off your parents. But he desperately wants to move out (his words not mine) and my calculations show how it's perfectly achievable with a few small changes to lifestyle and attitude.

My dc have finished uni recently.

neither have a car. Getting a room in a HMO requires passing referencing from the estate agents which means having a reasonably high income. They usually want rent to be a third of income which in Newcastle my dc is viewing a hmo tomorrow for 560 so income monthly of 1680.

this lad probably wouldn’t pass referencing for a hmo much less a luxury flat which is probably why he is still living with his parents.

No one said it was cheaper, but he wants to move out from his mums and can't seem to see a route to do that. I have provided him a viable route.

This country has plenty of people moaning about not having enough money while getting a £4 coffee on the way to work every day and never working out that they are spending £1000 a year on coffee on the way to work.

There isn't any point moving out just to coast unless you're leaving something toxic behind.

He will if he has a rent guarantor and/or referee. His parents can do that. Or he could find a private rental, or lodge with a friend or colleague then he won't have to jump through as many hoops.

You people are so negative. There is almost always a way around life's problems if you think outside the box.